Chapter 19 #2
Great. Now I looked like an idiot, drooling over his arms. This was going well. I did what I could to mitigate the damage. “I was just wondering how much force it would take to give you a matching arm cast.” I smiled up at him sweetly and batted my eyes for added effect.
His eyes flashed hot, and my stomach swooped. Bad idea. No provoking the tiger during class, Molly.
I cleared my throat and faced forward. He allowed me the distance, though his arm brushed mine constantly throughout the lecture.
I wasn’t sure what the TA was talking about, and I was beginning to realize this would be a recurring problem now.
I turned off my computer and tucked it back into my bag.
How was I going to pass the semester with him sitting next to me in most of my classes?
Him being way too good looking for his own good.
I had no defenses against it now. No reasons to ignore him and pretend he didn’t exist. Or pretend to be just friends with him.
And worse, I was in love with him. Everyone around us began packing their bags and chatting.
“Come on. I have to get started, since I still go a bit slow.”
A bit slow, my butt. He could set a world record: fastest man on a boot and crutch. I stood and walked with him.
“Isn’t it a nice day outside?” He walked faster than my normal pace.
I needed a return hit to the battering I’d been taking that morning. “Ni...why didn’t you ask me out in high school?”
“I wanted to ask you, but you always had other plans.” He returned with ease.
OMG, I was a clueless idiot. What else? The power supply. “Did you really upgrade your computer?”
“Huh?” Realization hit his face, and he reached up to tug on his ear. A tell. A weakness. I felt like I’d used ShadowImp’s knife. Ugh. Maddox. ShadowImp was Maddox.
“Umm. I couldn’t let you be without a computer. It was the only way I could talk to you.”
So the nice guy was really trying to get my attention.
I thought hard. He started walking even faster as if he could distract me.
Maybe if he were at full capacity, I’d be too busy struggling to keep up to remember what I was going to say—or maybe he was hoping for sympathy.
But he would be wrong. “The time I was stuck at DragonByte because of the bad weather, and you just happened to show up and offer me a ride.”
He picked up his speed. Groups of students passed by us. What else? Oh, no, he didn’t. “You were at the Game Jam for me?” Nothing had been weirder than that situation.
“Sweetheart’s Rescue was a great game. Look, our class is just over there.” He paused and pointed. We stood off to the side, and the sun filtered through the tree next to us, dappling him with light and shadow.
Seriously? Ni’s random appearances suddenly weren’t so random. He knew everything that IK knew. Everything. “You really took advantage, didn’t you?”
“What? No, I was just trying to help out the girl I liked. Really, how could you say that about me? No one knows the real me better than you.”
I faced him, hands on hips, and used Lin’s effective eyebrow.
He hobbled forward, wincing.
I wavered but steeled myself. I couldn’t give in. This had to be settled now.
He propped his crutch under his armpit and reached for me with both hands, grasping my upper arms and squeezing gently.
“I won’t deny it. I was waging a silent war—a war for your affections.
Each battle was important, and I refused to lose a single one.
I used everything in my arsenal. And I would do it again. Because I want to be with you.”
I looked down at his walking boot and pursed my lips. “It wasn’t really ever about you. It was about my dad, and Val, and me not trusting myself or you. But I’m doing better.” I looked up into his earnest gray eyes and spread my arms out. “Look, no denim jacket.”
His gaze traveled downward, and I cleared my throat.
He blushed. “And no more football. You know my true feelings about it. Since I’m of age, I asked the doctor to tell my dad that I shouldn’t play anymore. It wasn’t a lie. There was some medical jargon. I think the concussion scared Mom enough to help sway him.”
I suppressed a smile. Should I call that cheating?
He hadn’t faced his parents himself. But could I honestly say that I was completely over my body issues?
I could just imagine him lying in his hospital bed, using his charm to sway the doctor.
The green monster reared up, distracting me temporarily. Had the doctor been a woman?
He pulled his right hand away to hold three fingers up. “Scout’s honor.”
“Were you ever even a Boy Scout?”
He tugged his ear. Oh boy. Being with Ni was going to be more difficult than I thought. At least I was the one with power at the moment. All that would change the moment he smiled, or gave me one of those intense looks, or touched my hand.
“Do you forgive me?”
Could I cave in so quickly? How important was this battle in the grand scheme of things? I looked down, where he still held me with the other hand.
He let go, whipping his hand away as if my arm were a hot stove. Was I just looking for another excuse to push him away?
I glanced around. People were definitely watching us.
Two girls walked by; their eyes met mine as they leaned toward one another, whispering.
I shifted uncomfortably. Here it was—the attention that being next to him would draw.
My shoulders stiffened. My chest tightened.
They were looking at me, judging me. They were all thinking what I was thinking.
Why me? Who was I? The sun faded, hidden behind the shadow of a cloud.
“Look at me.”
I swallowed and met his eyes. The softness was gone, and the steel was back.
“I refuse to lose because of something I can’t control.
Look at me and tell me that you don’t like me.
That you won’t date me. That you are going to use them”—he gestured toward the students walking past—“as an excuse to reject me. To not forgive me. I’ve used everything up.
All my skills and abilities. My weapons and armor are about broken.
It’s all up to you. So will you be strong?
Will you be my girl? The one I’ve come to know over the past thirteen months, or are you going to give up and go hide back behind your computer where it’s safe and reality doesn’t intrude? ”
He was right. He was right about everything. He knew me to my core—he’d always had, as IK. It was time for me to make a decision.
He pivoted and started to follow the flow of people entering the building. His eyes focused on the ground, and I shivered at the loss of that gaze. My insides went cold.
And still, I hesitated. “Ni.” His name burst from me just as the sun reappeared from behind the clouds.
Click-click-click. His crutch hit the pavement as he walked, fading as he moved farther away. Someone bumped into me and kept on walking. My heart raced and my lungs heaved. I couldn’t lose him. The guy who knew me better than I knew myself.
“Ni,” I yelled, causing heads to turn, including his. “I already am your girl.”