CHAPTER 15 | Abby
?CHAPTER 15
Abby
M eredith disappeared . She met a blonde-haired girl while we were dancing and slipped out with her after the last call. So here I stand, looking for Dallas to ask him for a ride home. There’s no way this is going to go well. I’m sloshed. Coherent, but sloshed. The other bartender enters behind the bar from a door to the kitchen. She looks upset like she’s trying to hold back tears. Dallas pushes the same door open with force only a few seconds after her, his hands in tight fists. He’s shaking his head, his jaw clenched tight. Now is not the time to add to whatever he’s stressed about, but I have no other way to get home. Walking could be an option, a stupid one, but it could be if it weren’t pouring rain outside. Here goes nothing.
I approach the empty bar that Dallas is now wiping down and place my hands on the edge, feeling more like a toddler than an adult. He looks up, smiles a little, and drops his head. “Let me guess. You need a ride?” he asks, a small amount of annoyance in the question.
The other bartender looks over at me and we make eye contact. Brows raised, arms folded, and she waits for my answer. I look back to Dallas and nod slowly. The girl huffs a laugh before turning around to finish her duties.
I stifle whatever drunken, uncalled-for response to her I’ve formulated in my head, which, granted, it's much right now.
“Okay,” Dallas starts. “Take a seat by the front door and wait for me. I should be done shortly.”
Ten minutes pass as I slowly slump further into the wooden chair. Keeping myself from falling asleep has been the easy part. The problem is every time I close my eyes, I spin, and stars blur my vision. So, I keep my head forward, focusing on the art hanging on the wall. It’s an old-timey blueprint of a keg.
Dallas cuts into my intense focus on not throwing up. “All right, let's go home.”
Thank God. I smile, following him out the door and to his car. He moves his baseball bag into his back seat before holding the passenger door open for me. “Thank you.”
He’s quiet on the drive home, and I don’t dare say anything as the liquid in my stomach threatens to come up. When we pull into the parking lot, I quickly make my way toward the front door and whip it open, hands grappling for whatever wall I can to hold me upright.
“Woah,” I hear Dallas say behind me. “Hold on.” He fumbles with his keys to get the door open. What feels like ages is likely only seconds before the lock clicks and the door glides open. I run to the bathroom just in time for what feels like the entire night to force its way into the toilet. A soft hand rests on my back as another one takes hold of the hair I’m trying, and failing, to keep out of the now-tainted porcelain. When I finally think I’ve finished, I sit back, resting my head against the wall.
“I’ll get you some water,” he whispers before disappearing from the bathroom. Everything still spins with each tiny movement. When he returns, he offers the cup to me. “Swish and spit before you actually swallow.”
“That’s what she said.” I bark a laugh but do as I’m told. Dallas looks in shock but shakes his head and chuckles.
“Right, okay. Drink the water and then you need to go to bed.”
“With you?” The question is out of my mouth before I realize what I’ve said. I laugh, trying to play it off as just another drunken joke, but secretly, I think I might be lying to myself if I said I didn’t want exactly that. For now, I’m blaming the alcohol. It's definitely the alcohol.
Something darkens in Dallas’s eyes before he tries to laugh it off, too. But I caught that look he couldn’t hide in time. He waits for me to finish the water before placing the glass on the bathroom sink. He stands, offers me a hand, and pulls me up slowly, helping me walk to my bedroom, which still only consists of an air mattress right now.
I don’t bother changing before I climb into bed as is and hope sleep takes me quickly, which, thankfully, it does.
***
W aking up in the morning hungover is well-deserved. The apartment is quiet. I switch on the coffee pot and notice a note hanging off the front of the glass container.
Abby, I’m at work this morning but will be back around 12 to get ready for graduation. You’re welcome to join me if you want. Logan went home with some girl last night so if he’s not home already, I don’t know when he’ll get home. Call me if you need anything!
Dallas
A quick check in the boys’ rooms confirms they are both gone. My first instinct is to panic. I haven’t been this alone since that horrific night a week ago, and for good reason. But, to my surprise, I feel oddly peaceful. The low hum of the refrigerator, the quiet mumbling of the neighbor’s TV, and the drips from the coffee pot. All things I’m used to, but today, these normal things are serene. The cold tile floor under my feet sends a shiver through me, but the heat from my coffee mug seeps into my hands and up my arms, slowly soothing my soul.
As I look around the apartment, I try to let it sink in that this is my new home, at least for a little while. The blank white walls are fitting for two college bachelors. Although, I’ll admit, they have more furniture here than Sam had in his place before I moved in. I wonder what Sam is doing right now. Would he be in a meeting? Or sitting alone in his hotel? No. If he wasn’t physically working, he’d likely be out at a bar or nightclub, hitting on some girl, taking body shots, and tallying up his body count. Honestly. Did it really have to take me this long to realize that relationship wasn’t good for me? I knew he wasn’t faithful once before, but I also wasn’t exactly forthcoming with his “needs” at every waking moment. Not that that’s an excuse.
And just like that, the peace I feel is pulled from my fingertips in a split second as a wave of fear overcomes me. I’m sitting alone in this apartment with no form of protection other than the pepper spray in my purse. I move quickly to the front door, checking to make sure the locks on the front door are set. When I feel the resistance of the deadbolt, I allow for a small amount of relief. Even though we are on the second floor, I head to the windows to make sure they are locked as well and breathe a heavy sigh as I find them all in the correct position. I check the time and find that it’s already eleven o’clock. Only one more hour. I can do this. I shouldn’t have to rely on someone else to take care of me. I’m not a child. I just need a distraction. I have some work I can do for Dr. Kraus.
To my delight, I bury myself in my work and time passes quickly. The front door unlocking sends my heart racing. I check the clock quickly, hoping it’s time for Dallas to come home but find that it’s still twenty minutes until noon. Maybe he got done early? I relax when Logan’s face appears through the crack.
“Oh, uh, hey,” he says awkwardly as he sets a few things on the counter. “I think Dallas is working this morning. He should be home soon, though.” He’s fishing for literally anything to say to me. We’ve barely talked since I moved in. He’s been pretty elusive with me.
“Hey. Yeah, I know. He left me a note.” The air feels thick.
“Oh, okay. Well, I’ll be in my room getting ready for graduation.” He picks up his things and starts toward his room.
His name slips out of my mouth before I can stop myself. “Logan?” I ask, almost too quiet to hear, and I secretly hope he doesn’t respond. But he does.
“Yeah?” He stops just before his bedroom door.
“Do you ... uh ... do you not like me? I just ... I feel like you’ve been, I don’t know, avoiding me a little since I moved in.” I look at the floor, avoiding eye contact in case he takes this the wrong way. “Sorry, I don’t mean to start anything.”
He takes a deep breath before I hear his footsteps approaching me. The spot next to me on the couch sinks. “Abby, I don’t hate you. I do like you. All of this just happened so fast, and Dallas really seems to like you. Don’t get me wrong, I’m really glad he’s helping you, and I have no issue with that. I don’t want to see you hurt. But I don’t want to see him get hurt either. He’s going through a lot of family stuff right now, so he’s been having a tough time. And he’s been burned in the past by other relationships.”
When I look up, his gaze is focused on the floor. He’s fidgeting with the strings of his sweatpants. “I know you’re trying to look out for him. I’m sorry I kind of upended your last week or so. I never intended for my life to take such a turn. But Dallas really has been my saving grace. And I don’t mean that in the ‘Oh he’s my knight in shining armor’ kind of way. I mean he stepped up to the plate when no one else would. I don’t know what I would have done if he wasn’t at that party that night. I’d probably still be in that relationship sinking deeper and deeper into the abyss.”
He smiles but it doesn’t reach his eyes. “Dallas is hands down the best man I know. And I mean that seriously. He’s got his issues, but he’s a good friend. I trust him with my life.” He stops talking, but I sense he’s not finished. He lets his head flop back and stares at the ceiling. “Promise me you’ll be careful with him. He’s delicate. Like a little flower.” A smirk strikes his face and he lets out a deep laugh.
The joke makes me laugh, too. “Oh, come on, you’ve got to give him a little more credit. He’s at least a bouquet of delicate flowers.” I lay my head against the back of the couch, mimicking Logan’s position.
He tilts his head to look at me with a wide smile. “Okay, you’ve made the team.”
I turn to face him and smile back. “I promise.” I start to sit up but slink back again, and in a serious tone I ask, “Can I ask you a question?”
He sits up, ready for whatever I’m about to ask. “Of course.”
“What family stuff? I realize I haven’t exactly been very open to learning about him with everything going on in my life, but what do you mean he’s got a lot going on?”
“Well,” he pauses, rubbing his palms together, “I’m not sure it’s my business to share, but his dad—he’s a professor here at Oxly—cheated on his mom. It’s a whole thing.”
“Damn. That’s awful. Who’s his dad?”
“Dr. Charles Kraus. I think he’s some sort of English or literature professor. Something like that.”
“ Shit, ” I say, more so under my breath, but Logan heard me.
“Shit is right.”
The second the name spills from his mouth, my heart sinks. What the hell am I supposed to do now? I need this job. I want this job. But I sure as hell can’t tell Dallas I work for his cheater of a father. If he found out, he’d surely kick me out. Not to mention, this newfound friendship we have would be over.
“I uh ... Thanks, Logan. I’m going to get ready for the graduation ceremony. You probably should, too.” I leave him sitting on the couch as I practically run to my room and frantically shut the door. I sit down on the almost flat air mattress, trying to control the oncoming panic. Of course, this would happen. Things start to turn around and then another bomb gets dropped in my lap. I know I should tell him, but not today. Not on his graduation day. He’s had enough shit going on with me coming into his life already. He needs to have a day or two that makes him happy.
Only a minute or two pass before I hear the front door open again. Dallas and Logan talk in the living room, but I can’t make out what they’re saying. I should get dressed into something nicer. Pajamas don’t exactly pass the graduation dress code. I run a brush through my hair after changing and head to the bathroom to put on some makeup.
“You know you don’t have to do that?” Dallas says, peering in from the hallway. “You look good without it, too.”
Butterflies. My stomach erupts so quickly I have to hold in my shock. “Makeup? Yeah, well I like it, so I’m going to keep doing it.” I smile before running the black liner across my lid again. Is he flirting with me?
“Fair enough. Logan and I are heading out in fifteen. That work for you?”
“Yeah, I’ll be done in a minute,” I reply, adding the mascara to finish the look.
“Cool. Meredith graduates today, too, right?”
Shoot, I haven’t checked on her today. “Yeah, I should text her.”
“Afraid she’s going to get cold feet?” Dallas asks with a chuckle.
“Honestly, she’s not exactly a center-stage kind of person so it wouldn’t surprise me if she wanted to get her diploma mailed to her,” I laugh.
“That doesn’t sound so bad. Maybe I’ll do that, too.” He raises his eyebrows and looks around as if he’s contemplating.
“Nope. You’re in it now.” I zip my makeup bag and toss it on my bed. “Ready?”
***
T he graduation ceremony went well. Only one person tripped up the steps on their way to the stage. Meredith did show up. And when all was said and done, everyone had a diploma in hand. I spent most of the day with Meredith and her parents. They were kind enough to let me tag along to their celebration dinner. It was nice to enjoy the day with a normal family. Meredith is an only child, and her parents are amazing. They’ve brought me into their family circle on more than one occasion, and I always relish the idea that this is how it should have been. It gives me an escape for a few hours. They treat me like one of their own. They even got me a Christmas gift last year. Some new jewelry that Meredith must have mentioned to them that I wanted. Nothing crazy, but they accept me with open arms.
My mother always scoffs at my request for jewelry or money for tattoos. She says it’s the devil's work, which, somehow only makes me want them more. I used to hide them from her, but I have since stopped. At this point, if she notices them, it’s her problem how she chooses to react. I can’t say I’ve ever gotten a good response from her other than the memorial tattoo I got for my dad.
“Thank you for the ride!” I yell back as Meredith’s parents pull away from the curb. Dallas and Logan are home but seem to be ready to go somewhere when I shut the front door. “Hey. How was your day?” I ask, looking between them.
“Good,” Logan says, searching the cabinets for something.
“Not too bad.” Dallas watches Logan curiously. “What are you looking for?”
“I bought a little special something for today, but I can’t remember where I put it.” He opens and closes multiple cabinets before finally landing on the one he needs. “Got it!” He pulls out a large bottle of amber-colored liquor and sets it on the counter. It lands with a thud.
Dallas raises his brows and then looks at Logan. “Have at it, man.” He shakes his head with a little laugh then turns to face me. “Hey, we’re going to a party tonight at one of my buddy’s houses. You want to come?”
A party? I mean, it is graduation day so I can’t say I’m surprised. However, I am a little hesitant since the last party I went to ended so poorly.
Dallas moves from the barstool he was sitting on and meets me where I still stand in the entryway. He takes my hands in his and squeezes gently. “I know you might be a little leery of parties and I don’t want you to feel like you have to come. You are more than welcome to stay home if you want. But if you do want to come, just hang next to me or Logan the whole time. We’ve got you. I promise you that. Nothing will happen.” Looking at our hands, the warmth feels good. It feels safe.
Deep breaths, Abby. Sam isn’t in town. I have Dallas. And Logan. What could go wrong? Not every party is going to end in chaos. I take another deep breath, forcing air deep into my lungs, imagining it steadying me. “Okay, I’ll go.”
They both smile. “We were going to take the bikes. Do you want to ride yours or do you want to ride with me?”
A grin spreads across my face. “I’ll ride bitch this time.”