Chapter 10
CHAPTER TEN
Oh, I already see how you look at her. Can’t get that past an old man.
Rafael was lucky Grace’s Spanish was terrible.
Thankfully, she seemed to have no clue that Christian had already remarked on Rafael’s attraction.
Rafael wasn’t sure how he’d been looking at her, exactly, but he didn’t find it hard to believe that he’d been staring.
The way her hair fell over her shoulder, little wisps escaping her braid and framing her face.
The way she pursed her lips at him when she was annoyed, which was often, even if her grimaces were starting to turn into smiles far more than before.
The way she rested her body against the cave wall, clearly lost in thought, her blue eyes gleaming when she had another idea.
The way she hovered over him while he was writing in his notebook even though she couldn’t read a word of it.
He could smell her lavender soap. He could feel her breath on his neck.
He’d always been attracted to her. The first time he’d met her, and then the first time he saw her in Alma’s apartment so many years later.
It wasn’t exactly newsworthy. He supposed the intensity of his attraction had crept up a few notches since she moved in, but he was spending so much more time with her, it was expected that his level of interest would increase, too.
He ran the water at the faucet in the little kitchen and washed his hands before splashing some of the cool water against his face.
Clearly, things were getting worse. When she’d first arrived, he’d thought about her on occasion.
She was an attractive woman, but she was living with his sister, and she clearly wasn’t his biggest fan.
Then, she moved in with him, and she didn’t seem to hate him as much anymore.
Actually, it almost seemed like she enjoyed talking to him, at least a small amount.
Sometimes he made her laugh, and Ay Dios mio, if that wasn’t the greatest sound he’d ever heard.
It was a stupid thought. Absolutely idiotic.
But she’d been so sad lately, and to hear her laugh at something he’d said—it felt like the instant warmth from a shot of tequila but without the burn. It felt like the sun.
What a ridiculous load of sentimental bullshit.
One pretty girl smiled at him and suddenly he was a completely different person full of nonsense and bad poetry?
He groaned inwardly and took a sip from his bottle of water.
Grace had followed him into the room, and now she was waiting for him to do something—like his job, perhaps?
He was supposed to be working, not thinking about how the smell of his temporary roommate seemed to waft through the entire apartment after she stepped out of the shower.
Christian only made it worse by commenting on it. Rafael had assumed that all the heat inside of him was his alone, safe inside his body for no one else to ever know. Did his face look different somehow when she was around? Was it that evident to everyone? To her?
“Is everything okay?” Grace asked. “I know the kitchen’s small, but I’m sure you’ll be able to figure something out.”
“Yes.” Rafael swallowed and started fidgeting before quickly stopping himself.
“I think we can manage something. There’s enough room for a large refrigerator, and while the oven is small, it should be enough for reheating food.
Counter space might be the big concern, really, and then we need somewhere for the food to go.
Maybe we could fit a large table in that side room?
Tapas would be fine, but if someone were to host a full dinner, it might get tricky.
I’ll have to take some more measurements. ”
He was rambling. And sweating. Estupido.
Grace was patient, waiting for him to finish his thoughts, even though he’d lost track of them himself.
He wasn’t entirely sure what was happening to him, but between trying to figure out what to do with this exhibition and spending so much time with Grace, he didn’t feel quite like himself.
He was flustered and insecure, two things that could rarely have been used to describe him in his entire life.
He wasn’t sure how to overcome it, but he was sure that he would.
His confidence in that fact remained. He would figure his shit out and get back on track.
It turned out the van with the paintings was delayed.
Christian had forgotten to mention that upon his arrival.
With no artwork, Rafael decided there was no reason to keep Grace hanging around the cave for the rest of the day.
They chatted with Christian for a while and then said their farewells.
Grace was calm and kind, even though Rafael knew she probably had some choice words for Christian in her head—her criticisms of the whole endeavor, the limited audience, the exclusivity of it all.
He could tell her smile was tighter than usual, her face a mask of indifference.
The drive back to the apartment was quieter than it had been on the way to the cave house, perhaps because Rafael’s head was busy analyzing every look he’d given Grace, the tone of his every phrase, the way he’d taken her hand after opening the car door for her or placed his palm on the small of her back to make sure she was safely inside.
What was she thinking over there in the passenger seat as she twisted the tail of her braid around her finger?
Finally, it came to him: the logical explanation. Rafael knew what this was, and it wasn’t some weird crush or overpowering magnetism between them. Now that he realized what was going on, it all made sense. This was way more in line with his personality.
Grace was forbidden. Not in the Romeo and Juliet kind of way, but he couldn’t have her, not even for one night.
It would make everything far too complicated.
She was his sister’s best friend in the entire world, and now she was living in his home and helping him with his work, and she was in an extremely vulnerable place, and all of that added up to one thing. He could not sleep with her.
That was exactly the problem. It was in his nature to want the very thing he couldn’t have.
It wasn’t like they shared some special connection or some particularly meaningful bond.
She was hot. She was off limits. And therefore, the more time he spent with her, the more he wanted to put his hands on her.
That was the simple truth of it. Mystery solved.
If he could have just slept with her one time and gotten it all out of his system, he could have forgotten her immediately and gone on with his life, but as it was, he just needed to recognize his area of weakness, accept his ill-timed attraction, and move on with his life.
Rafael exhaled, and then he felt Grace glance over at him. He was relieved to have figured this out. He could handle it. He simply needed to name the issue and address it in his mind, and it would lose its power over him.
“I’m starving,” Grace said, and Rafael immediately conjured an image of the two of them out for a meal at his favorite restaurant. Dim lighting and her wine-stained lips. Her leg brushing his underneath the table.
Where was this coming from? They’d talked about work and Picasso. They’d barely even flirted, and yet a couple hours in a historic cave had him fighting his attraction? He almost banged his head against the steering wheel. “Me too, yes. We should eat something.”
“You’re sure everything’s alright? You’re acting kind of weird.”
“I’m not.”
“You are. You’re all jumpy and tense. Did something happen with Christian?”
He hesitated. Oh, I already see how you look at her. “No.”
“Why do I not find that convincing?”
There she was again, pestering him. He worked hard to see it in a negative light, as if she was annoying rather than endearing, as if everything else was just a silly infatuation.
Rafael adjusted his facial expression, trying to present a mask of calm. “Leave it alone, Grace,” he said, and she did.
She was craving pizza, so they stopped at a simple pizza counter in the city center with bright lights and checkered tablecloths.
There was no wine and no touching, and as Rafael gnawed on the crust of his final slice, he started to feel like himself again.
“What do you think of the venue?” he asked.
Grace smiled with her mouth closed, cheeks full of mozzarella.
She chewed and chewed until she was finally able to swallow and answer the question.
“I know you’re frustrated that he chose this place, and I can see why.
It will be difficult for large paintings, but also…
it’s amazing. I’ve never seen anything like that before in my life.
It has so much character, and I know you said you don’t have quite the vision for what to do yet, but I am positive you’ll make something beautiful. ”
Rafael’s hands fidgeted in his lap again. At least someone believed he could pull this off. “And what do you think about where to put the paintings?”
“It’s hard to know without having seen the collection yet.
” She took a sip of her water. “I think there’s more wall space than you realize, though, and it’s not all curved.
There are several long walls with plenty of space.
I was also thinking, maybe in that large room, we could add something.
Like, maybe build a free-standing wall in the center that would split the room and allow you to hang several large pieces there as a focal point? ”