Chapter 17
CHAPTER SEVENTEEN
“What?” Grace tried to regain her composure and focus on what Alma was saying, but she was still breathing a little harder than usual, and her bra hung limply under her shirt.
Maybe she should have tried to hook it back into place before opening the door.
She snuck a glance over to Raf, who was tucked behind the counter, leaning with his forearms pressed to the shiny black surface.
God, he was gorgeous, and there was still an almost painful warmth spreading between her thighs, but she wasn’t supposed to be thinking about that.
She needed to reset her brain and listen to her best friend.
There was no way Alma and Obinna could be done.
Alma resumed her pacing, and words fell out of her mouth, English mixed with Spanish, so Grace was only catching pieces of the rant. “Too much pressure,” she was saying, and “of course I’ve thought about it, but just not to that extent.”
Rafael, who must have had a better grasp of what was happening, spoke up then. “It’s all new for you, mi hermana. Obinna must understand that. Have a seat, and I’ll make you something to drink.”
“I’m too furious,” Alma said, pressing her hands to her cheeks. She didn’t look furious, though, more like she was on the edge of crumbling, just barely holding herself together. It was a side of Alma that Grace had never known before.
Grace stroked Alma’s arm and led her toward the sofa. “Sorry,” she said. “I don’t think I’m quite understanding.”
Despite her frantic energy, Alma did manage to relax into the couch with Grace by her side.
She took a breath and started up again but stuck to English.
“He started talking about marriage and children. And I was open to having that discussion, I really was, but then he got so upset that I hadn’t given it much thought, as if that meant I’m not committed to our life together.
I mean, we’ve barely said we love each other, you know?
I’m not one to get ahead of myself, and I still don’t know if I want to get married or any of that. Not because of him, but just because…”
Grace nodded, and suddenly Rafael’s earlier response made perfect sense. All of this was very new to Alma. She’d never had such a serious relationship in her life, and it wasn’t surprising that she was hesitant and unsure.
“Anyway, it turned into something much larger than I was anticipating. About how I don’t feel the same way he does, and if I’m not certain of us then something must be wrong with our relationship.
He said if we don’t want the same things, then it’s better to know that now, and if I’m not serious enough about us…
” She hung her head, covering her face with her hands.
“Oh, Alma,” Grace cooed. In ten years of friendship, it was rare that Grace was the one doing the comforting. She wasn’t sure where to begin.
Rafael handed over the drink before settling himself into the chair across from them.
“It sounds like tensions were high, and you just need to have another conversation when you’ve both calmed down,” Grace said.
Alma shook her head. “He was so upset with me, Gracie. So hurt. He said maybe we should take some time away from each other, but I don’t think he’ll even want to speak to me again.”
“I’m sure that’s not true,” Raf said.
“I just walked out. I didn’t know what to say anymore. I felt like he wanted me to decide our whole future right away, like I should just know. I’m sorry to barge in like this. I meant to call on my way, but I was too overwhelmed. I didn’t mean to ruin your plans for the night.”
Grace and Rafael shared a glance, and Grace used all her might to keep her face neutral. She couldn’t imagine offering up the news that she’d started boning Alma’s brother in the midst of everything else. “It’s totally fine. I was just doing some dishes.”
Alma glanced over at Rafael. “I’m surprised you’re not out for a wild night on the town charming some beautiful women.”
Grace started coughing uncontrollably. Even before anything had happened between the two of them, Grace had never known Rafael to do such a thing. She’d never even seen him with another woman, but maybe he just refrained from bringing women home while she lived there.
“I don’t do that,” Raf said, frowning. He jumped up and grabbed Grace a glass of water.
Alma squinted her eyes at him. “Um, yes, you do. I also thought you’d both be trying to get out of the apartment and as far away from each other as possible, but I’m glad you’re both here.” She took a sip of the concoction Raf had created for her. “Can I stay with you?”
“Stay?” Rafael repeated.
Grace finally stopped coughing and nodded instead. This was probably a sign. She shouldn’t be having sex with Rafael, and here was her reminder, waltzing in and throwing a blanket over the fire, making sure Grace didn’t make any further mistakes.
“I could sleep with you, Gracie?”
Grace didn’t hesitate. “Of course.” She thought she might have seen Rafael flinch out of the corner of her eye. “Whatever you need.”
That night after they’d tucked themselves into Grace’s bedroom, Alma told her even more about the fight, and Grace listened with rapt attention, sure her friend had never been so vulnerable in her life.
Perhaps the closest Alma had come was after a fight with her mother, but even that didn’t seem to compare to this argument with Obinna.
“I think I’m just not cut out for this, Gracie, this relationship thing,” Alma explained. “You were so good at it.”
Grace snorted. “I thought so, too, and look where that got me.”
They were side by side in Grace’s tiny bed, whispering in the dark just as they had for so many nights throughout their entire friendship.
“It takes some adjustments,” Grace said. “But that doesn’t mean you’re bad at relationships or this isn’t meant to be. You and Obinna love each other. You just have to figure out the best way to fight and work through this stuff.”
“I don’t know how to fight when he can’t even look at me. And I was so angry.”
“I’m sorry, Alma. I know it’s hard, but it doesn’t mean you can’t handle it. Sometimes you’ll get angry. Sometimes you might want to scream, but it doesn’t mean it’s over.”
Alma’s eyes softened. “I’m so glad you’re here, Gracie. This is exactly the situation where I need my best friend in the same city. I wish we were living together right now, but I’ll take what I can get.”
Grace reached out and put a hand on her best friend’s arm.
“I’m glad I can be here for you, too.” She meant it with every fiber of her being.
When Derek had ended things with Grace, Alma had called every day and listened to Grace cry.
Alma had never needed this kind of support before; she’d always been so tough and independent, but now that she was in crisis, Grace wanted to return the favor, to be the friend Alma deserved. “We’ll figure this out.”
Alma blew out a thick breath. “I don’t know. We’ve had fights before, but not like this. This felt like too much.”
“Too much because you don’t want to deal with it? Or too much because of how much you care?”
Alma groaned. “The second one. That’s the scary part.”
“We’ll get through this, Alma. I promise, and you know I wouldn’t promise that if I didn’t mean it.” After all, Grace was still standing after everything had happened, and she was sure Alma was a stronger woman than she was.
Alma squeezed her eyes shut, as if trying to hold back tears. “I don’t know how to fix it, though.”
“Maybe you both need a little time before you talk it out. Maybe you need time to consider all the marriage and kids stuff. That’s not unreasonable.” Grace shifted on the bed, turning further toward her best friend.
“He thinks I already should have been considering it.” Alma opened her eyes and frowned.
“That sounds like it’s just coming from a place of insecurity. He’s worried about how you really feel.”
Alma sighed, adjusting her position so she could lean her head on Grace’s shoulder. “I love him, Gracie. You know I do, but that’s a lot to consider.”
“It is. And he should understand that.”
“I’m so glad you’re my best friend,” Alma said, and Grace felt a new sense of guilt bubbling under the surface of her skin.
“Me too,” she whispered.
Despite how keyed up Alma had been when she arrived, she fell asleep next to Grace quickly, her breath heavy and her knees digging into Grace’s side.
It was Grace who was too agitated to sleep, too wrapped up in her own thoughts, consumed by daydreams of slipping out of bed and into Rafael’s room to pick up where they’d left off.
She knew that made her a terrible person.
After everything Alma had done for her—beautiful, fierce, heartbroken Alma—Grace was just flagrantly ignoring all of her advice and good judgment and obsessing over Rafael anyway.
But the way his skin felt against hers made her feel like she was about to burst into flames.
She hadn’t even known that was possible.
And the way he looked at her… Who could resist that? Why would you ever want to?
Because most likely she would end up with a broken heart all over again.
And then she would still have to see him and be civil for the rest of their lives.
It would make things awkward for Alma, and at the moment, Grace was still living with the guy.
She could get kicked out on the street again, just like with Derek.
What would happen when he woke up one morning, ready to move on with someone else, and Grace was still just there in his apartment, pining for him?
That was pathetic. She was pathetic, and painfully aware of it.
Grace’s phone vibrated with a text alert on the nightstand, and she snatched it up, knowing it could only be one person, the person she most wanted to talk to.
Rafael: “How quickly do you think we can get them back together?”