Chapter 27
CHAPTER TWENTY-SEVEN
Grace closed her eyes for a moment. Fear seemed to rush through her veins.
She wanted to tell him the truth, but what was the truth?
She’d stayed away for Alma’s sake, but also for her own.
She didn’t want to hurt again. She didn’t want to have to rebuild a whole new life if all of this went to pieces.
She didn’t want to be vulnerable anymore.
She didn’t want more pain. But now that Alma had rescinded her objections to Grace’s relationship with Rafael, it seemed like every other concern was falling by the wayside.
If she had Alma’s support, she knew she could get through anything.
She’d done it before. And maybe it was still risky, but Grace felt a strength she hadn’t in the past. She knew Gram would have wanted her to take a risk, because it was what she’d encouraged Grace to do her entire life—to move downtown, to study art, to find what she loved and hold onto it.
Even if Rafael’s feelings for her were something abstract, something she was never able to pin down and hold in her hands, that didn’t make them any less real, and it didn’t mean they would disappear.
Rafael had asked her a straightforward question, and in that moment, she knew the answer. No matter what else was holding her back, all her worries and fears and brokenness from before, she knew. “Yes,” she breathed.
He moved closer to her in an instant, as if that was all he needed to hear. He brought his hands to the sides of her face, inching his lips closer to hers. “This is what I want,” he said. “You are what I want.”
One of his hands slid to the back of her neck, and he kissed her again. God, she’d been waiting for that for ages, but it felt even better than she’d imagined—to have him kiss her again, desire radiating from him in waves.
Rafael broke the kiss and exhaled sharply as he pressed his forehead against hers. “Come to bed,” he said, his voice deep with want.
Grace nodded, which was hard with her forehead pressed to his, but not impossible. She found herself smiling.
There were times over the past several months when she’d thought she would never be happy again, when she was sure she had lost herself, and there was no way to get that person back.
She didn’t think she’d be able to find a moment of peace from the constant grief that rolled through her, the knowledge that her true family was gone, and nothing would ever be the same.
But Rafael had shown her it was possible.
Even though the sadness would live inside her forever, a hard little kernel of pain deep in her chest, she could still find a way back to herself.
She could still find happiness, too, on occasion.
She knew that because of him, because as he took her hand and led her to his bed, his fingers interlaced with hers, she was happy.
When they got to his bedroom, he kissed her slowly, like they had all the time in the world.
There was no Alma to walk in on them this time.
There seemed to be no one else in the world.
Rafael left the door to his bedroom wide open as he pushed Grace toward the bed.
He kissed and sucked the side of Grace’s neck.
He took his time trailing his fingers up the skin of her back, pressing her close against him.
They stayed that way for a long time, lying on the bed making out, slowly exploring each other.
Grace ran her palm along his abs, delighting in how firm he was.
This beautiful, incomparable human specimen wanted her.
She bit at his bottom lip with her teeth, letting that knowledge sink in and fuel her desire even further.
She’d never even dared to imagine it before—that he might want her as much as she wanted him.
Slowly, Rafael stripped her bare and splayed her across the white sheets.
Grace watched as he kneeled over her, tugging off his shirt.
She could see his arousal pressed against his slacks, and it only made her heart pound harder.
She would never get enough of him. She hungered for him in a way she never had anyone else before.
The want spread through her so easily, so constantly.
She pulled him toward her and hitched a leg around his.
He brought his mouth to her breast, teasing her with his tongue.
Her fingers wove through his hair. “Rafael,” she whispered, overwhelming need pulsing between her legs.
He slid a hand down her soft belly and then lower, until he was almost to the place she wanted him most. She wriggled beneath him, trying to get his hand to move down farther.
“What do you want Graciela?” he whispered.
“Touch me,” she said.
“Where?”
She arched toward him, and finally his fingertips pressed against her in just the right position. “There,” she said. “Everywhere.”
He did just as she had asked, and Grace gasped with pleasure.
It felt so good, but Grace still wasn’t satisfied. It still wasn’t enough of him. She reached out, sliding a hand up his thigh before she ripped open the button on his pants and reached for his length, letting out a breath as he continued to touch her.
“You don’t have to be quiet this time,” he said. “This time I want to hear every sound you make.” He kissed her again, and she hummed against his mouth. He wriggled to work his pants lower, until finally he reached down and yanked them over his feet. Then he spread her legs wider.
Grace pushed against him, hauling her weight up and rolling them until she was on top of him. She bit her lip as she felt his erection press right between her legs. She leaned against him and kissed him harder as his hands roamed her back, then tangled up in her hair.
“I want you so badly,” he said.
“You can have me,” she said, grabbing him.
“You’re sure about that? I don’t just want tonight. I want all of you, Graciela.”
She nodded but had no words. Instead, she leaned back and guided him inside of her. Rafael pressed his fingertips into her hips, and Grace shuddered, enjoying the feel of him all over.
They moved together in the dark, both of them moaning and letting out shallow breaths, both of them desperate and reckless.
If Grace would have been able to think, she might have been awestruck by how comfortable she felt with him, even though everything was wild and exciting and new, it still felt like they were intimate friends, like they knew and trusted each other.
As it was, however, Grace could barely put two words together, and when she managed that, all she was able to say was, “holy shit.”
Grace rolled her hips, taking Raf even deeper, and every time she pulled back, their bodies snapped back together in the middle like magnets.
Raf’s grunts became more fevered as he lost himself in her, and Grace relished every moment of it.
She felt so sexy and powerful. She felt desired like never before.
It was enough to send her over the edge with a breathless laugh.
Her entire body seemed to spasm before she bent forward over Rafael, touching her breasts to his chest and kissing him fiercely as he followed her into oblivion, groaning her name and continuing to thrust into her while he rode out his own orgasm.
Then he laughed, too, and he sounded so happy, it made Grace’s heart turn to mush.
How was it possible that she’d been with Derek for three years and never felt like this a day in her life?
She’d been entirely comfortable with him but also too complacent.
They’d often felt more like roommates than lovers, boring and bland and distant.
And yet, she and Rafael had started out that way—as roommates—but the word had never seemed to fit.
There’d always been something more, something so far from boring and complacent, something comfortable and untamed all at the same time.
How was it possible that this snobbish playboy, a man she’d completely written off ten years ago, could envelop her in this completely sexy, delicious emotional tornado?
They lay in the dark together, their sticky skin still touching wherever possible—Grace’s leg hooked around his middle, his hand on her thigh, her cheek against his chest. He let out a contented sigh, and it was the cutest fucking sound.
Damn it. She was in love with him. Grace pressed her nose against his nipple and nuzzled playfully.
She hadn’t wanted that to be true. She wanted to keep as much emotional distance as possible for a little longer, at least until they actually started dating, if that’s what they were going to do next.
It would have been nice to go out to dinner a few more times, sleep together once or twice more, before admitting to herself that she was absolutely head over heels in love with this man.
Being in love with him meant that there was no way to tread lightly anymore, and if this all went to shit, it was really going to suck for Grace, of course, but it was really going to suck for Alma as well, which is why she’d tried to prevent it from happening from the start.
The problem hadn’t exactly gone away just because she had Alma’s blessing.
But they could be adults about this whole thing, even if it ended badly. They could manage not to put Alma in an unpleasant position if they tried hard enough.
“You’re quiet over there,” Raf said. “Everything good?”
“Yes. I just need to stop thinking.”
“Hmmm. Why don’t you just replay everything that just happened in your head again? That’s what I’m doing. Starting with the part where you said you wanted me.” Grace couldn’t see his face, but she could hear his smile. “Actually, starting with the part where you were eating that pomegranate.”
Grace nuzzled into his chest again. “Oh yeah? That’s what does it for you? Spanking some fruit?”
“I never realized it, but the way you slapped the skin on that thing? It gave me chills.” He shivered against her dramatically.
She poked him in the ribs. “Oh how the mighty have fallen. Losing your head over a little light pom dom.”
Rafael snorted. “Pom dom?”
“Pomegranate dominance. Was that a stretch?”
Grace could feel Raf’s chest shaking as he laughed. “The mighty have fallen indeed,” he whispered. Then he kissed the top of her head again, and Grace’s brain started screaming. She loved him, and the words were crawling up her throat, begging to be set free.
What a terrible move that would be. Seriously. It was too soon. It was too much to handle, and she didn’t want Rafael to feel responsible for protecting her feelings just because she’d had a shitty year. She didn’t want to put that on his shoulders.
She pressed her mouth closed. Actually, there were better things to do with her mouth.
She leaned up on her arm until she could reach his neck, and licked the soft skin below his ear until he turned his head and started kissing her lips.
She just had to keep kissing him. That was the best plan of action.
No more talking. And then maybe she could keep her explosive feelings to herself.
They made love again in the dark. At least, it was making love to Grace even if she didn’t know what it was to Rafael.
The way he moved his hands all over her was insanely addictive, like he couldn’t get enough of her hair, her breasts, her thighs, her ass.
He was everywhere, and she was so on board, offering herself up to him in every way, because she couldn’t get enough of him either.
They showered together in the little bathroom where she’d only dreamed of showering with him before.
Of course, she’d fantasized about him when she was in there alone, naked, and he was on the other side of the wall brewing coffee or working on his laptop or scrolling on his phone, and she was just wishing he would walk right in and press her against the shower stall.
The fact that this whole scenario could be a real possibility was thrilling, even if she was already completely spent.
She dressed in his clothes, and they held each other again, his soft breath like a lullaby, more comforting than she ever would have imagined.
“What about Alma?” Raf asked.
Grace glanced up at him. “She gives us her blessing.”
“What? She already knows?”
“When she told me about the event and what happened with Christian, she said she thought you really might have changed. She said I could do whatever I wanted, but if I wanted you, then she’d be okay with that.”
“Alma said that? My stubborn, over-protective sister?”
“I think those are family traits,” Grace said, and Raf pinched her.
“It is unusual for the Ferrer-Martíns to admit they were wrong about something,” Rafael said with a laugh.
Grace shifted slightly. Her only worry was that Alma wasn’t wrong. Maybe she was wrong about the fact that Rafael hadn’t cared, and he wasn’t just trying to get Grace in bed, but what if she was right about all of this being a terrible mistake?
Especially now that Grace loved him. Rafael obviously wanted her.
He obviously had feelings for her, but the man had still never been in love.
He’d never been in a real relationship, and just a few short months after Grace’s entire world had fallen apart, after her heart had been squashed on the side of the street like roadkill, she’d already lost it again.
Clearly, she was ridiculous, but also, as she looked over at the gorgeous man lying next to her, she wondered what else she possibly could have done.
She should have known she would fall in love with him the second she agreed to move into his apartment.
And if she would have known, well… She would have done the same thing all over again a hundred times.