9. Emily
emily
T he last few weeks passed by in a whirlwind as I finished packing and preparing all of my belongings to prepare for today.
Move-in day. It just so happens that the day I’m moving out, Logan is stuck working a double shift, which means we won’t have to maneuver around him as my friends help me load up the rental truck I borrowed for the day.
Luckily, one of my coworkers, Brittany, was getting rid of some barely used furniture.
She sold me a new bed frame and a matching dresser set at a steep discount.
Moving and furnishing an apartment wasn’t in my budget, so I appreciated any money I could save.
Brittany’s been a friend of mine since we started training to work in the intensive care unit together last month.
So, not only did I have to plan to move out of my home for the past three years, but I was also taking on a new job, which included rigorous training and hours of studying.
Yeah. I was feeling a little haggard these days.
But the day has finally arrived. I’m so busy packing everything and getting ready that I barely have time to think, much less eat. I want to get my things out of Logan’s space as quickly as humanly possible.
The cats are already in their carriers and whining in my car.
They hate car rides with a passion. We have everything except for one dresser loaded into the truck since it was much too big to fit.
Logan mentioned that if there was anything that I needed help with, he would help.
I can’t help but roll my eyes at his offer to get rid of me and out of his space.
The least he could do was move the one piece of furniture we couldn’t fit in the truck.
Things had been pretty awkward the past couple of weeks as we neared my move-in date.
We avoided each other as much as possible, and when we were at home together, we were rarely in the same room.
I locked myself up in the guest bedroom with the cats to study most of the time.
I started eating my meals in the guest room instead of at the dinner table.
I don’t know if it’s because I have been so busy with all the changes happening in my life, but after the first couple of days when Logan first broke up with me, I’ve rarely cried over our failed relationship. Mostly, I’ve felt crushing disappointment at how things ended.
It also makes me sad at how quickly we went from friends to strangers. My relationship with Logan may be over, but he had been my best friend during our time together. I just feel that we won’t be able to remain friends in the end.
Especially not right now when everything is still raw.
We’re loading the last box into the medium-sized U-Haul I rented for today when it hits me that this will be the last time I’ll be in this apartment.
I walk back inside to do a final walk-through to make sure I missed nothing.
Silently saying goodbye to the place that had been my home for years.
Our laughter and happy memories echo within these walls.
I stare angrily at the couch, the place where Logan dumped me.
My fingers trace the small table where we shared countless breakfasts.
I tap the table lightly one last time, feeling the smooth surface under my fingertips, before walking out the door.
As the door clicks shut, a sense of finality settles over me, mirroring the complex emotions that are swirling inside of me as I close this chapter. Leaving all the memories behind.
I t was probably ambitious of my friends and me to think we could simultaneously move out of one space and into a new apartment, on the second level, no less, on the same day. We vastly underestimated the time needed to finish everything today.
The cats and I were the first to step foot in the apartment.
It’s officially our place now. A strange mix of happiness and sorrow washes over me.
After getting Buffy and Spike settled inside my walk-in closet, I shut the door and follow the sounds of voices.
Sasha, Amanda, and Nikki were downstairs unpacking the truck while Jason and Chris were handling the heavier furniture. We have a lot of work ahead of us.
After a few hours of unpacking the truck, I make a quick stop at the local supermarket and pick up pizza and beer to thank my friends and their partners for all their help. I don’t know if I could ever express my gratitude to them for just being here to help me during my time of need.
Ben isn’t at our apartment yet. He mentioned he needed to get a new mattress delivered, and it won’t arrive until this weekend. There didn’t seem to be much sense for him to move in when there wasn’t anywhere for him to sleep yet.
We’ve kept in touch over the past few weeks and even met to go shopping for couches.
Ultimately, the local discount furniture store was our best course of action.
We scored a leather sectional and matching loveseat, coffee table, and some decor for under a grand.
The store discounted the furniture because of imperfections or damages, but these were insignificant or easily concealed with a blanket.
For the space and the price, it was well worth the cost. The downside to shopping at the discount furniture store is that they don’t deliver, so we have to move the furniture ourselves.
Ben and Jason made plans to pick up the items later on in the week.
In the meantime, I’m staying at the new apartment by myself for the first couple of nights. Since it’s in a safe neighborhood and being on the second floor, I’m not too nervous about it. I try hard not to think about the fact that it’s the first time I’ve been alone in years.
It’s getting late, and we’re just putting the last pieces of my bed frame together before my friends say goodbye. I’m given tight hugs and firm statements to “call if you need anything” before they all leave.
I’m finally alone.
I keep busy by making up my new bed and start unpacking. I went out and splurged on a new bedsheet set to mark the occasion. Fresh sheets for a fresh start and all that.
I walk through the apartment, locking the front and back doors. I even check the windows for good measure. After securing everything, I wash up and get ready for bed.
I’m tucking myself into bed before the tears fall. The heavy weight of loneliness, a leaden pressure in my chest, finally pushed me over the edge.
I lay there, tears falling silently, as I finally let the events of the past six weeks catch up to me.
My heart aches with the loss of my relationship.
It was devastating to come to terms with the fact that I had lost the place I had cherished as home for years.
Even acknowledging Logan’s flaws, losing my best friend still devastates me.
I know everything happens for a reason, but at this moment, I’m finding it hard to find the reason my life imploded so spectacularly.