Chapter Four
“T he cancer has spread. At this advanced stage, I think the best thing we can do is try and keep her comfortable.” Doctor Matthews’ face was devoid of emotion as he delivered the news. “I’m sorry Miss Wyatt. We’re out of options for your mother’s treatment.”
“What about another round of chemo?” Katherine Wyatt asked, trying to ignore the sharp pang in her stomach. She hoped she wasn’t about to be sick right there in the doctor’s office. She looked into his stony face. Although on second thought, maybe that would at least cause him to react. She still wasn’t sure he was a real person. Katherine had often joked to her mom these past weeks that he must be some kind of vampire or something. Jane Wyatt had accused her only daughter of watching too many movies and had continually assured her that Dr. Matthews was the best in the business.
“She hasn’t responded to any of the chemo we’ve tried.” He shook his head. “I know how difficult this is for you.”
Katherine rose from the chair. “Do you? Do you really? Have you ever had to stand by and watch as your mother wasted away right in front of your eyes?” Tears began to trickle down her face, and she angrily brushed them away. “Have you sat in a hospital where the people treat you like you’re crazy for hoping or for believing a miracle can happen?”
Dr. Matthews regarded her quietly, his expression never wavering.
“I didn’t think so. She’s all I have. I’m only twenty. I’m not ready to be all alone in the world.” She knew how childish she must sound, but she didn’t care. She grasped the edge of his large desk as if it were a lifeline. “There has to be something else you can do. What about a transplant? If she could get a new liver, she would be fine, right? I could give her part of mine. I read somewhere that they can regenerate.”
The older man let out a deep sigh. “Miss Wyatt, again I am sorry for your situation. We don’t think you’re crazy for continuing to hope for recovery. It is wonderful to see a patient and family keep their faith through a tough diagnosis. But it is my job to make sure you know the facts. And the fact is chemo didn’t work. And she isn’t strong enough to withstand a transplant. So even if you were a perfect match, it isn’t a viable option.” He closed the chart in front of him as if to indicate the discussion was over.
Katherine sank back down into the chair. “There has to be something that can be done.”
“I think perhaps you should speak to your mother. She and I have already discussed the situation. It was her idea for me to explain it to you.” He rose from his desk and peered at her from beneath his round glasses. “I’d recommend that you try not to upset her with your desire to pursue other options. She’s had a tough day. I’ve seen patients in her condition live for many months, possibly even a year depending on how things go. She still has some good times ahead of her.”
Katherine stood from the chair and let the doctor walk her to the door. “So that’s it. You’re just giving up.”
“Miss Wyatt, we can continue to evaluate her to see if there are any changes. I assure you that if she’s ever a candidate for any other treatment, I will let you know. But at this point, I would strongly suggest you let her digest this information before discussing with her how you think she should proceed.”
Katherine nodded. “Okay.” She felt weak. How could she face her mother now? They’d always shared everything. Her mom would know immediately how upset she was. And right now, she was expecting Katherine to stop in and tell her all about registration for the upcoming year of college classes.
Katherine put on a happy face before stepping into her mom’s room. She’d taken a few acting classes. This was California, after all. Surely growing up a stone’s throw from the Hollywood sign was good for something. “Hi, Mom,” she said brightly, stepping into the sterile hospital room.
Jane Wyatt looked up from a Sudoku puzzle and smiled. “How was your day? Did you get all registered?”
Katherine’s resolve to be upbeat faltered. She managed to keep the happy expression on her face, but she was sure her mom could see right through it. “Registration was a pain, as usual.” She stood awkwardly at the foot of the bed. Her mom had always been one of the strongest people she’d ever known. Surely she could beat this, no matter what the doctors said.
Katherine’s mother patted the bed. “Sit down, honey. I know Dr. Matthews spoke to you this afternoon. I wanted you to hear it from him first because I knew if I tried to tell you, you’d come up with a million reasons the diagnosis was wrong.”
Katherine perched carefully on the bed and took her mother’s hand. “I’m sure he has to say that, Mom. But we both know you’re a fighter. Remember when you were in that car accident and the policeman said he’d never seen anyone walk away from something like that. This could be just like that.”
Her mother reached up and stroked Katherine’s face. “Oh, honey. You know this isn’t the same thing. And for us to pretend this might turn out differently wouldn’t be right. I need to help you deal with this.” Her voice broke. “I can’t leave you until I’m sure you’ll be okay.”
Katherine felt the hot tears spill down her cheeks. “I’ll never be okay without you here, Mom.” She choked back a sob. “You’ve been beside me my whole life. I can’t.” She inhaled. “I can’t do this alone.”
Jane leaned her head against the pillow and shut her eyes. “Katherine, I think it’s time for me to tell you the truth.”
“What’s wrong?” Something in her mother’s voice made her nervous.
Her mom opened her brown eyes, the eyes that everyone said were almost a mirror image of Katherine’s. “Honey, I’ve done an awful thing. I hope you can find it in your heart to forgive me.”
The thought that this woman, who had practically devoted her life to her daughter, could even think that she might not be forgiven was crazy. “Oh, Mom. I can’t imagine you doing anything that bad. Just tell me.”
Her mother gripped Katherine’s hand tightly. She drew in a ragged breath. “There’s something I need you to do for me.”
“Anything.”
“Go home and look in my closet. Up in the very top there’s a box. I want you to go through it tonight.” She squeezed Katherine’s hand. “Promise me you’ll look through the contents with an open mind.”