Chapter 13
Chapter Thirteen
THE DARE LIST
(To be undertaken by Lady L, under no duress whatsoever, except perhaps that of curiosity)
stargaze from a roof
explore somewhere new and bring back evidence
flirt with someone
get rain-soaked on purpose
keep your eyes up for an entire gathering
tell someone no
stand up for someone who cannot stand up for themselves
take a midnight swim
smoke driftshade leaf
be entirely improper
speak your mind to someone who scares you
kiss someone
Completion of each task will result in excessive self-discovery, unanticipated confidence, and my eternal admiration.
Signed,
R — Architect of Questionable Ideas and Occasional Triumphs
P.S. No gossip birds were harmed in the making of this list, though one did call it ‘boldly optimistic.’
P.P.S. Before you begin composing a thousand excuses as to why you cannot possibly complete this list (I see you eyeing dare number six), allow me to save you the trouble: it is far too late.
You’ve already agreed, and as such, I am taking you at your word.
Yes, I am perfectly aware that these dares range from mildly improper to utterly indefensible.
Nevertheless, I have every confidence you will find a way.
P.P.P.S. If, however, any of these prove truly distressing, you are not required to complete them. In truth, you are not required to complete ANY of them. But I suspect, deep down, that there is a very small, very curious part of you that rather wants to.
“No,” Aurelise said aloud to the silence of her bed chamber. “Absolutely not.”
She paced the length of her suite, R’s latest letter crumpled slightly in one hand.
The timebloom she’d brought from home sat on her bedside table, its petals shifting from lavender toward silver, indicating that it was close to midnight.
She should have been asleep already, but after a day spent resting from the previous night’s Crown Court Ball, she was nowhere near tired.
Instead, she found herself wearing a path in the plush carpet, her bare feet silent against its softness, her nightgown swishing with each agitated turn.
A dare list. He had sent her a dare list.
She stopped, smoothed the paper against her palm, and read it again, though she’d already memorized every outrageous suggestion:
Stargaze from a roof.
Well, that seemed harmless enough, if rather impractical. Why did it have to be from a roof, of all places? And how was she to manage such a thing—both physically and without being discovered and sent home in disgrace?
Explore somewhere new and bring back evidence.
Vague, but manageable perhaps.
Flirt with someone.
Her cheeks heated at the mere thought. She could barely manage ordinary conversation without stammering. How was she meant to flirt?
Smoke driftshade leaf.
“Absolutely not,” she muttered again, her voice rising slightly in indignation.
Driftshade leaf was what rakish gentlemen smoked in enchanted gaming parlors where illusionary dice rolled and fortunes unraveled at the turn of a card.
Or so she had been told. The very idea of a lady partaking in such an activity was beyond scandalous.
Kiss someone.
The paper trembled in her hands. Kiss someone? Kiss someone? Had R taken complete leave of his senses?
“Of course I cannot do these things!” she exclaimed to the empty room. “The sheer impropriety of even suggesting—”
OH MY STARS, WHAT IS HAPPENING? Thimble’s voice burst into her mind as the tiny pink mouse zoomed into the air from somewhere behind her. Lady Aurelise, why are you SHOUTING? Is there danger? Should I alert the palace guards?
“I—you—when did you come in?” Aurelise stammered, instinctively pressing the letter to her chest.
I’ve been napping in your slipper, Thimble admitted cheerfully. It’s perfect for curling up in. So cozy!
Spark’s grumpy head appeared over the arm of one of the chairs in the sitting area, his amber eyes narrowed with sleep. Some of us were trying to get a moment’s peace, he growled, a wisp of smoke curling from his nostrils.
“Oh, you’re—also here.”
Thimble’s sister snores like a hibernating troll, Spark explained dryly.
She couldn’t sleep, but was too frightened to navigate the palace’s secret corridors alone at night.
So naturally, she woke me. He flicked his tail and added with a knowing glance, I’d have thought you’d notice us come in, but you seemed rather …
preoccupied. Lying atop your bed, eyes fixed on that curious wooden box you were all but snuggling.
“I was not snuggling the—”
What is that? Thimble zipped closer, her tiny eyes bright with curiosity. Is that a LETTER? At this hour? How deliciously improper!
“It’s nothing,” Aurelise said hastily, attempting to fold the paper as she made to move toward her dressing table, but Thimble was already hovering directly in front of her face, wings beating frantically.
It doesn’t look like nothing! You’re all flushed and pacing and muttering about impropriety! This is the most exciting thing that’s happened since Lady Ellowa’s gown caught fire at the ball last night!
Which I’d like to point out once again I had ABSOLUTELY nothing to do with, Spark added.
“It’s merely a … a bit of correspondence,” Aurelise said weakly.
At midnight? Spark’s golden eyes narrowed. From whom? How did it arrive here? I didn’t notice any messenger pixies at the door.
Aurelise sighed. “It arrived via the enchanted wooden box you seem to think I was snuggling. And it’s from a—a friend.”
A friend who has you pacing your chambers and declaring things absolutely not? Thimble squeaked with delight. This friend sounds FASCINATING! What did they write? Can we see?
Aurelise clutched the letter to her chest once more. “Certainly not. It’s private correspondence.”
Private correspondence that has you in such a state? Spark puffed a small cloud of glittery smoke. Now I’m intrigued despite myself. It wouldn’t happen to be from a certain prince who selected you for the first dance of the evening last night, would it?
“No, of course not!” A letter from the prince himself would have been almost as shocking as the outrageous Dare List R had sent.
Well, Thimble said, settling on Aurelise’s shoulder, if you won’t show us, at least tell us what has you so distressed. We are your companions, after all. We’re here to help.
Aurelise sank onto the edge of her bed, the fight going out of her. Perhaps it would help to have someone—or rather, two someones—to discuss this absolute madness with. “It’s a list of dares,” she admitted quietly.
A list of dares? Spark’s mental voice sounded appropriately horrified. Someone has sent you a list of DARES?
“Yes.”
Can we see it now? Thimble asked, vibrating with barely contained excitement.
With a sigh of resignation, Aurelise smoothed the letter on the bed beside her where both companions could see it. She watched as they read, Thimble’s wings fluttering faster with each line while Spark’s expression grew increasingly horrified.
KISS SOMEONE? Thimble shrieked in Aurelise’s mind, launching herself into an ecstatic aerial loop. Oh, this is WONDERFUL! This is ROMANTIC! This is—
This is completely inappropriate, Spark interrupted, breathing out an particularly impressive cloud of glittery smoke.
Smoke driftshade leaf? Take a midnight swim?
Be entirely improper? Lady Aurelise, whoever sent this is clearly attempting to compromise your reputation.
Should you be discovered undertaking almost any of these activities, you would be removed from the Crown Court immediately.
Your family would be scandalized. The gossip birds would feast upon your disgrace for years.
“I know”, Aurelise said miserably. “Which is why I cannot possibly—”
But you COULD do some of them! Thimble interjected, landing beside the letter and pointing at the first item with a tiny paw.
Stargazing! That’s perfectly innocent! And exploring somewhere new—that’s just adventure!
Oh, and speaking your mind—you should absolutely do that one. You’re far too quiet all the time.
“I am appropriately reserved,” Aurelise protested.
You’re practically mute in company, Spark corrected. Though that’s generally preferable to the inane chatter most people produce. Still, this list is clearly the work of someone trying to lead you astray. Who is this ‘R’ person?
Aurelise’s fingers twisted nervously in the folds of her nightgown. “A friend. Well, I don’t actually know who he is, but—”
HE! Thimble interjected with a mental squeal.
“—but we’ve been corresponding for some time,” Aurelise finished.
Let me understand this correctly, Spark said slowly. You’ve been corresponding with a complete stranger who has now sent you a list of increasingly scandalous dares, and you’re actually considering completing them?
“No! I mean … no, of course not. I couldn’t possibly …” But even as she spoke, Aurelise found her gaze drawn back to the first item on the list. Stargazing from a roof. It was the least scandalous of all the suggestions. Almost innocent, really. And the night was clear …
You’re thinking about it, Thimble accused, delight coloring her mental voice. You’re actually considering it! Oh, we should start with that one! Right now!
“Now?” Aurelise squeaked. “It’s almost midnight!”
Perfect timing for stargazing! Thimble countered.
And I know just the place. The sky garden!
On the eastern wing’s uppermost level. It’s essentially a rooftop terrace, almost hidden and very much out of the way, with magical flowers and glowing fountain stones and the most PERFECT view of the stars!
Absolutely not, Spark interjected firmly. We are not assisting our lady in sneaking through the palace in the dead of night to complete questionable dares from mysterious correspondents.