Chapter 19 #2
I was embarrassed that tears were coming out of my eyes; I could taste the salty tears on my tongue and angrily swiped at them. “I can’t,” I said, shaking my head and covering my face with my hands as I trembled.
“Hope, I need you to try,” he said gently, removing my hands from my face and holding them in his own. “In and out now, Amapolita,” he murmured.
I forced myself to try to breathe. I cracked open my eyes a bit and watched his chest rise and fall beneath the white lab coat he wore, and tried to match my breathing to his. It took a solid five minutes for my breathing to regulate and for the tears to abate. But eventually, they did.
“You’re going to fire me,” I said, and I finally looked up at him.
He gave a low chuckle and shook his head while using his thumb to wipe away the tears on my cheeks.
“I’m not going to fire you.” His hand moved to cup the side of my face, and the warmth of his hand was soothing. “If that woman’s filling came out just because you were cleaning, it was obviously going to fall out soon anyway.”
“Really?” I could hardly believe he wasn’t firing me and sending me out the door.
“Really. She could’ve eaten an apple, and it would’ve fallen out. I’ll tell her it was most likely already loose, and we can fix it for her. Don’t worry.”
“But—” I started to argue.
“Hope,” he said more sternly now. “I don’t want you worrying about this anymore. Everything is fine.” With his other hand, he brushed back a flyaway that refused to stay tucked behind my ear, and his jaw clenched. “I’m not going to press you right now. But I saw you flinch when I walked in here.”
I was quiet, not sure what to say or how to say it. We were in a supply closet, after all. There was no way I was getting into this right now, especially with a freaking mop digging into my hip.
“I need you to know something.”
I felt naked, completely bare. I couldn’t hide from him now. It was like he could see right through me.
“I will never physically harm you.”
I nodded but couldn’t find words to respond. Jay’s face was so close I could see the faint stubble along his jaw and smell his cologne.
“Hope,” he said firmly. “I need you to repeat what I said.”
My breath hitched. “Jay—”
“I need to know you heard me.” His thumb brushed a slow circle over my cheek. “Say it.”
He didn’t seem to be asking to be dramatic. He was asking because he needed me to believe him.
I forced the words out. “You… you will never physically harm me.”
Only then did his expression relax.
“Good,” he murmured. His eyes searched my face for any flicker of doubt.
For a moment, I was transfixed by him. His hand was still on my face, warm and soft. And I couldn’t help but notice that his hands were big. His hand fully encased my cheek and up to my temple, and his fingers were long and slender. Could a man’s fingers be attractive?
Suddenly, the room began to feel a little hotter than it had a few minutes ago.
He opened his mouth to say something else, but was abruptly interrupted when a knock sounded at the door, and I jumped at the sound. I pulled away from him like I’d been caught doing something illegal.
“We’re ready for you in Op 3,” Jenn said from the other side of the door.
Oh gosh, how many people saw me run into the supply closet? And how many saw Jay come in after me?
He didn’t seem phased or embarrassed in the slightest.
“Be out in a sec!” he called and then turned back to look at me. “Are you going to be okay?”
“Yeah, go.” I couldn’t meet his eyes.
“I’ll go talk to Rachel, and then when you’re ready, you can come back out and finish the SRP, but take your time. I promise to make sure she’s not upset about it.”
He opened the door, and I found myself overcome with gratitude.
“Thank you,” I blurted out, and he simply nodded before slipping back into the hallway.
When I finally felt brave enough to leave the closet twenty minutes later, Jay had fulfilled his promise.
Rachel was completely amicable when I returned to finish the cleaning.
Whatever he’d told her, she wasn’t the least bit mad.
She informed me that Dr. Jay stopped by to do another exam real quick because he had the time and just so happened to find a broken filling.
She then said she was grateful that Jay took the time to do another exam, because she wouldn't have known about it without him taking a second look. She raved about how he said he’d fix it for free.
Something about how he should’ve seen it at the exam she got a few weeks ago.
Then she even thanked me for being so gentle with her during the cleaning.
And just like that, I could feel something knit back together inside of me.
I’d known something was broken, but I’d never been able to see it clearly or name it. It was like a vertical root fracture: hidden, silent, almost impossible to detect, but still painful and dangerous if left untreated.
And somehow, Jay had found it and fixed it.
But that was just the first of many because there were a hundred more fractures throughout my consciousness that needed mending. But whatever just happened made me believe that maybe, just maybe, it would be possible to heal the rest.