Chapter 37 #2
“Five minutes,” I said, biting my lip to fight back the emotions.
“I released this woman five minutes earlier than he wanted me to. And this time, I just couldn’t take it.
I told him that he was being ridiculous, that the patient was satisfied, and that I knew I had cleaned her teeth sufficiently.
And then…” I swallowed, the following words almost painful to get off my tongue. “He threw the tray across the room.”
“The tray?” Jay’s eyes widened. “Did it hit you?”
“One of the scalers cut my cheek.” My voice was surprisingly monotone as I continued to speak.
“He’d thrown things before. When he got angry, he was known for kicking chairs, throwing pens, and other stationery.
But never something like this. And never directly at me.
” I closed my eyes. “And then he grabbed me by the arm, and he said I was the worst hygienist he’d ever had.
” I felt the tears start to well in my eyes, and I hurried to blink them away.
“He’d clenched my arm so hard it left bruises. ”
I could see fury ignite behind Jay’s eyes. “Please tell me you turned him in.”
“I tried.” I felt dead inside as I continued.
“I told my father what happened and that I was going to the police. And then my father asked me not to. He said it would tarnish his reputation and the business he had built if word spread that an abusive dentist was working for him. He said he would take care of it quietly and begged me not to cause a PR mess.”
Jay shook his head, muttering something in Spanish under his breath, his jaw clenching.
“Weeks passed, and I soon realized he had no intention of confronting Dr. Pike or holding him accountable. He was going to keep him around because his loyalty to his friend outweighed his loyalty to his own daughter. I mean, I had no proof. It was my word against his. The bruises on my arm eventually faded. I knew it would be a battle, and one I probably wasn’t going to win in court. ”
There was a long pause before I continued.
“So I left. I told my father that I was sick and disgusted that he would choose his business partner over his own daughter, and I said I’d figure things out on my own.”
“Oh, Amor—” Jay closed the space between us, pulling me to his chest.
My forehead fell to Jay’s shoulder. His hand cupped the back of my neck while the other rested on the small of my back. It was unexpected, and I knew I shouldn’t be doing it, but it felt nice after revealing all that to him.
“I’m so sorry,” he murmured against my hair.
I blinked back the tears and pulled back just a bit, our faces mere inches apart.
“I shouldn’t be crying about this. What happened with your mom…”
“Stop,” Jay said firmly. “Stop comparing yourself.”
I shook my head, hating myself in that moment for how I’d viewed him. “I’m sorry that I’ve made you out to be one of them when you’re not. I’ve grouped you in with those who have hurt me, and I’m sorry.”
He shook his head and gave me a small, sad smile as he wiped a stray tear off my cheek.
“You’re not the only one. You don’t think I’ve struggled with the fact that you’re a writer?”
I sniffled, trying to compose myself. “You’ve never said it bothered you.”
He let out a weak laugh. “You are the very thing I fear most, Hope Elmswood.”
I didn’t know what to say to that, and before I could formulate a response, he spoke again.
“Want to know why I became a dentist?” he asked suddenly.
I nodded.
“It was the furthest thing from being a writer. My whole life, I was surrounded by my mother’s art, her fantasies, and that urgent need to create.
” He sighed, taking a few steps back and leaning against one of the tables.
“My childhood was either spent waiting for her to come back to herself or listening to my parents fight. “
He looked down at his feet.
“And so when she died, I went looking for the complete opposite of the life I’d grown up in. I wanted something predictable. Stable. A small town felt safe. Dentistry felt safe. It was practical and structured. No chaos. No extremes.”
“So why did you hire me then? If you knew I wanted to be a writer?” I whispered.
“Because I don’t want to believe that creativity equals instability,” he said quietly.
“So what do you believe now?” I dared to ask. “Do you believe I’m the same as her?”
“I’m compelled to ask you the same question,” he said. “Do you think I’m the same as him?”
Silence filled the library, and I felt conflicted, trying to see things from a different perspective, trying not to let my scars taint what was before me now.
“No,” I whispered.
“Me either,” he responded, and the space between us became charged with an electric sort of energy at this realization.
I felt myself wanting to go over to him. To feel his touch again. I wanted to let my walls down completely now that I’d let them fall halfway. How nice it would feel not to hold back anymore.
But I had to. Because I couldn’t compromise everything here. There was a risk of getting hurt again, only in different ways.
Even if I wasn’t afraid of him in the way I was of Dr. Pike, I still didn’t want to get involved with my boss and my landlord. It was asking for something to explode. It would be like holding a match near a pile of perfect kindling.
I cleared my throat. “I appreciate you listening to me. I haven’t really gotten all that off my chest before.”
“Me either,” he admitted.
“Jay—”
“You don’t have to explain yourself, Hope. We can just let this moment be what it is. Nothing more, nothing less.”
“Thank you.” I felt my whole body relax a little.
“You should get some sleep.”
I reached for my package and held it in front of my chest like a shield. Thankfully, it was dark, so he couldn’t really see the blush tinting my cheeks.
“Yeah, I probably should.”
I turned to leave the library.
“Are you still okay to go with me this weekend to the CE conference?” Jay’s voice suddenly echoed off the tall ceiling again.
I turned back to face him. “Yeah, I’m planning on it.”
“I’ll be waiting outside for you. Seven o’clock.”
“See you,” I said, walking toward the door again. “Goodnight, Jay.”
“Goodnight, Amapolita.”