Chapter 50
Going to work on Monday was, oddly, fine.
Somehow, kissing my boss/neighbor/landlord hadn’t actually caused the world to stop spinning.
I woke up like any normal day. I came downstairs and instead of driving separately, Jay asked if we could go together.
He drove with one hand on the wheel and the other laced through my fingers, like it was a totally normal thing we did every morning.
No dramatic conversation. No declarations.
Just the radio humming quietly in the background and the soft jangle of his yarn keychain against the rearview mirror.
The clinic appeared at the end of the street, and my stomach started doing weird, flipping things again. Jay pulled into his usual spot and turned off the engine.
He glanced at me. Then at our hands.
“So,” he said.
“So.”
“You alright?” he asked, and that was when I finally noticed his expression was a little wary, like maybe he was worried I might bolt or something.
I bit my lip. “I think so? I don’t know.” I took a deep breath. “It’s just that, even though the last two days have been really great—”
Saturday had been the day we’d kissed for the first time, and all day Sunday we’d pretty much lounged around the house enjoying each other’s company. It had felt like a literal scene from a movie, getting to just spend the day watching shows, eating snacks, and snuggling.
Now that it was Monday and we were back to our normal schedule, I suddenly didn’t know how to act.
“—this is all so new, and now that we are going to work together, it’s just…”
He smiled, like he’d been waiting for this. “Nothing important is going to change at work.”
I let out a weak laugh. “Even if we’re… doing this?”
He tilted his head. “Doing what?”
I gestured vaguely to our still-interlocked hands resting on the center console. “This.”
“Just because we’re dating now doesn’t mean things at work need to be any different. I promise I’ll be as professional as ever.” There was a mischievous glint in his eye, though, that made me feel slightly skeptical.
I nodded slowly, trying to think of a response, but the words “we’re dating” were looping in my head on repeat, making it hard to think straight.
“So we’re really dating, then?”
“Hope. Of course, we’re dating.”
“We never actually established that,” I pointed out. “We kind of skipped a few things.” I glanced down at our hands. “Am I really your girlfriend now?”
He laughed, throwing his head back against the headrest. “Yes, you’re my girlfriend, Hope.” He sobered just slightly. “If that’s what you want.”
I nodded, my cheeks warming even more. “Yes. It is.” Then I imagined Macey finding out and the absolute freak out she was going to have. “But, maybe let’s wait to tell everyone for a bit. I don’t know if I can handle the massive Q&A I’m going to get when I tell Macey.”
“That’s probably wise,” Jay said, stifling a smile.
“Alright. So we go in and act as if nothing has changed.”
“Sounds like a plan.” He leaned across the console. “But just one thing before we go in.”
He closed the distance between us, his mouth meeting mine, and all coherent thought vanished.
I made a small noise in the back of my throat and reached up, my fingers naturally threading into his dark curls. He cupped my face and kissed me for thirty spectacular seconds before pulling away.
“Sorry,” he said, his eyes still on my lips. “I just had to do that.”
I was still recovering when he got out of the car and came around to open my door.
“After you,” he said, cool as a cucumber.
I stood, using the car to steady myself, and I swear I heard him chuckle under his breath.
At the door, he let go of my hand and stepped ahead to pull it open.
I walked in first.
I headed toward the break room like I always did, trying to pretend everything was normal and that my boyfriend wasn’t walking beside me.
Before turning down the hall to his office, Jay caught my eye. He gave me a small, almost secret smile and then disappeared.
Macey and Tyler were already in the break room when I walked in. Macey was telling an animated story while Tyler listened, scrolling on his phone.
“Hey, Hope,” Tyler said when he spotted me.
“Hope! I was just asking Ty if he thinks it’s a good idea to go out on a second date with a guy who plays the mandolin?”
“The mandolin is a beautiful instrument, Macey,” Tyler said. “Why would that be a bad thing?”
“It’s a mandolin, Ty. A mandolin.”
I stifled a laugh as I put my things into my locker.
Macey bounced over to my side, clearly ready to continue, but then she paused, her eyes narrowing. “Huh.”
“What?” I asked, closing my locker door. She was staring at me intensely now.
She squinted. “You look… different.”
I blinked. “Different how?” My heart rate sped up.
“I don’t know.” She tilted her head. “Brighter. Or—”
“Sleep,” I said quickly. “I slept.”
Tyler nodded like that explained everything. “That’ll do it.”
Macey didn’t look convinced, but she let it go.
I grabbed my water bottle and escaped before she could analyze me further.
The rest of the morning was normal. No patient drama. Routine procedures. Nothing unusual.
And Jay was normal.
He spoke to me the same way he always had, incredibly professional and calm, which should have been a good thing.
Instead, it was driving me absolutely insane.
Every time he passed behind me, the air felt charged. When his arm brushed mine as he reached for a chart, a sharp electric jolt shot straight through me. Even when he wasn’t touching me, if he was existing in the same room, I was hyperaware of him.
Like my body hadn’t gotten the memo that we were pretending nothing had changed.
By midday, I was officially strung out. I felt like I’d drunk a hundred milligrams of caffeine.
So when I saw his office door open, I didn’t give myself time to chicken out. I knocked once and stepped inside.
Jay looked up from his desk, where he was reviewing a patient chart. “Hey. What’s up?”
I shut the door behind me, keeping my voice steady. “Okay. I don’t know if I can do this.”
He frowned slightly. “Do what?”
I made a vague gesture at everything and nothing. “This. Today. This whole pretending nothing has changed thing.”
He set his papers down and came around the desk, leaning back against it and crossing his ankles. “You were the one who asked for normal.”
“I know,” I said quickly. “And I stand by that. But also—” I exhaled sharply. “I am so aware of you right now, it’s borderline unbearable.” My cheeks burned when I realized I’d really said that out loud.
His mouth twitched.
“I notice every time you walk into a room,” I continued, unable to stop myself. “Every time you’re near me. Every time you brush past me—which, by the way, you do a lot for someone supposedly being professional.”
“I’m just moving through my clinic,” he said mildly.
“It’s too much, Jay.”
He shook his head, a smile tugging at his lips. “I’m not doing it on purpose. I promise.”
“I know,” I groaned, running a hand through my ponytail. “That’s almost worse.”
He pushed off the desk and stepped closer. “Hope,” he said gently, “I think you’re overthinking.”
“I feel like I’m losing my mind.”
“It’s going to take time. It hasn’t even been six hours.”
My eyes widened, the panic taking over. “Are you sure this is a good idea?”
His gaze softened. “Amor.” He closed the distance and cupped my cheek, and I immediately melted, letting out a sigh. “Relájate.”
“I’m sorry,” I groaned. I really was overthinking everything. “I’m just worried. What if this never gets easier?”
He smiled. “Then I guess you’ll just have to get better at ignoring me.”
“It’s obviously not that simple,” I said, cheeks flushing. “I tried.”
He pursed his lips. “Then maybe you need to stop ignoring me instead.”
The air shifted, suddenly electric.
I reached for the door, my hand already on the knob. “We’re at work.”
“I know,” he said confidently.
“So we need to keep things professional.”
“Right.” His navy eyes flicked to my lips and back up. He released me and stepped away, returning to his desk.
“Well then,” he said evenly, shuffling his papers, “you just let me know when you’re ready for me to kiss you on this desk so you can finally forget what you’re so worked up about.”
My mouth fell open. “Absolutely not.”
He bit his lip, failing miserably to hide his smirk.
“I am not—” I trailed off, my thoughts betraying me as I pictured exactly what that might feel like. My cheeks were suddenly hot. “We’re at work,” I said firmly.
“Okay.” He returned to his paperwork, radiating a confidence that made me want to low-key smack him.
“You’re insufferable,” I muttered, opening the door. “We are not kissing in your office.”
I didn’t give him a chance to respond. I left, closing the door behind me, slightly out of breath when I returned to my exam room.