Chapter 60

While I waited for interview day to arrive, I started looking for jobs.

It felt much like the time I’d first come to Big Bear and started searching—extremely difficult.

After only a few hours of scrolling through listings and applying for a few dozen random positions, I was officially spent. I could only stare at a computer screen for so long before my head and eyes started to feel like they were melting.

I debated picking up a book. But something in me just couldn’t crack open a paperback. Especially not by Lindy, who used to be my escape, because now it made me think of Jay every time I read one of her novels.

But I did have a tiny, minuscule desire to write…maybe.

It had been a while since I’d had any desire.

I was desperate.

I opened All The Lights and stared at a blank cursor.

The story didn’t feel right as I stared at the last chapter I’d written a few months ago.

And then I had the inane thought that I needed to try something new. Start over. But I’d written almost fifty thousand words in this manuscript. I hesitated but then opened a new blank document and that felt better.

Maybe I just needed a fresh place to escape. Something that hadn’t been touched.

I started writing down my thoughts on everything that happened over the last few months. I didn’t think too much about it.

Before I knew it, I’d spent the entire afternoon writing.

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