Chapter 21
The Box O’Bribes
Returning to the idling Katu, Cha vaulted into the jump seat and rummaged in the rear compartment to dig out Phinny’s box o’bribes, before sliding over and into the driver’s seat again.
“Miss me?” she purred to Azul, who gave her a bored stare.
“I was enjoying the peace and quiet.”
“Glad you savored it, as rest time is over.” She pinged the gold channel. “Bandit here, hailing one and all of you poor suckers currently with thumbs up their asses stuck on the Thirteen by the big black line. I need a parting of the sea, stat, so I can unplug this toilet.”
Azul slid her an incredulous look. “Do you say these things to deliberately disgust me?”
“Nope. I do it to disgust everyone,” she answered cheerfully as the path-box chorused with cheers, rude comments on her metaphor, and—best of all—enthusiastic embellishments on the imagery.
Given that Obsidian fae were involved, the conversation rocketed downhill rapidly.
But the carriages also made way for her, parting to create a clear lane that Katu sailed through, thrumming with pride.
It was kind of like winning a race, albeit a bit sideways. Cha patted his dash. “Good kitty.”
It took a bit of jockeying to get through the densely stalled traffic as they reached the border.
It was defined by a wall, a black one, of course, towering to the sky and running as far as the eye could see in either direction.
The silhouettes of black gargoyles perched at regular intervals at the top, ready to drop on anyone so foolish as to attempt to run the border.
This wasn’t the only crossing into Obsidian, but they all looked essentially the same.
The Thirteen ley line forked a short distance before the wall, the inbound leys leading to a series of gated arches.
In keeping with theme—the actual fae tended even more towards dramatic architecture than their human imitators—the gates had been made to look like a spiked portcullis that lowered from above, as in a gothic tale.
The gates were all down, filling the archways with overwrought iron twisting and twining like menacing black vines with bristling thorns and roses.
Obsidian fae guards, equally spiky and gothic, stood sentry at the gates, while the border agents sat in their glass cubicles, reading books or having conversations with their colleagues, apparently at leisure—and totally ignoring the demanding questions from the carriages idling at the front of the lines.
On the outbound side, the gates stood open, allowing traffic to flow freely from Obsidian into the human realm. “Anyone can come out, but no one can get in,” Cha intoned.
“I’m sure that’s backwards,” Azul said, eyeing the Obsidian fae.
Cha gestured to the two sides of traffic. “How is it backwards? You can see for yourself.”
“What I can see is that the gates are down and we’re going nowhere.”
“Watch and learn, my darling blue devil.” She angled Katu around a train of donkey carriages, whose driver rounded on her angrily.
He’d been parked in front of a placid and towering Obsidian fae guard, who stared stonily past him, unmoved, possibly not even noticing the ranting, red-faced human as he implacably blocked the way.
“Look here,” the angry ley rider shouted, “I’m—oh, hey Bandit. You’re on the road again? Katu’s looking in fine form, as are you.” His gaze lingered appreciatively on her and Cha nearly pointed it out to Azul.
“Thank you, darling.” She fluttered her lashes at the ley rider, whose name—real or assumed—she couldn’t recall for the life of her. Had she slept with him? Maybe. He looked like her type. “Let me give this a try.”
“Happy to yield to you,” he said with a wink. “As you likely recall.”
He revved his donkey carriages, optimistically readying them to move.
“Is there anyone you haven’t bedded?” Azul hissed.
She tapped her chin thoughtfully. “Let me think… Hmm. Oh wait, you.” She gave him a dazzling smile. “So far.”
“You wish,” he muttered.
Not dignifying that jibe with a response, she smiled up at the stony Obsidian fae blocking the way to the glass cubicle ahead. “Beautiful day,” she observed. Nothing. Not even a twitch. “Mind if I pass, handsome?”
He flicked her a glance. “The border is closed.”
She pointed to the outbound traffic. “Doesn’t look closed to me.”
“But it is closed to you.”
Cha did a double-take. Mr. Stoic Obsidian Fae chose a bit of witty wordplay instead of ignoring her?
Okay, yeah, it wasn’t all that witty, but compared to his imitation of a wall, it was a step up.
She pushed out her lower lip in a sultry pout, leaning an arm along the side of the carriage and arching her back to display her cleavage a bit better.
Her bosom already looked pretty fabulous in the tight-fitting red leather jacket with the zipper conveniently at half-mast. (Conveniently and with foresight, because she’d lowered it when she got out of the carriage.) With her other hand, she raked back her short bob, hitting some dried ick leftover from the fell wolf battle and hoping it didn’t show to disadvantage.
“What would it take to…ease the opening?” she purred, letting her gaze slide over him, making the double-entendre obvious.
It wasn’t hard to look interested. The tall fae had a nicely chiseled physique, along with big feet and long fingers that boded well for other parts of his anatomy.
His dark eyes lingered on her with return interest, lingering on her breasts, but it was the glitter of the gem she’d palmed and held resting on the hand near him that truly caught his attention.
He trailed a clawed finger down her bare forearm to her palm, the gem disappearing.
“All I can do is get you to the border agent,” he cautioned.
“That’s plenty. You’re my hero.”
He actually cracked a smile. “Look me up on your way back through.”
“I’ll do that.” She idled Katu forward as the guard stepped aside, the slow black was very slow here. Even if you wanted to try to run the border, you’d be going so stupid slow someone on foot could catch you.
“You’re my hero,” Azul said in a high voice no doubt meant to be hers. He added a snort. “I can’t believe you’d trade sex to cross the border.”
“I traded the promise of sex,” she corrected. “Huge difference. Also a little sparkly jewel I figured he’d like.”
“You did?” Aha, she’d surprised the arrogant prince. “I didn’t notice.”
“You weren’t supposed to.”
“The agent looks female,” he observed. “What will you do now?”
“Who says I can’t charm a female? Dy loves me. Most of the time,” she amended, thinking how she’d carelessly hurt Dy’s feelings by cutting off communication. You’d think she’d know better, having experienced how much it hurt when Dy’s main focus went to Phinny.
“I’m sure it’s a challenge for her.”
“Never said I’m not an asshole. Now hush.
Listen and learn.” She pulled up to the booth.
The Obsidian fae woman inside had her back to the lane, her long, white hair glimmering like magical moonlight.
She leaned her elbows on the rim of the open window on the other side, deep in conversation with the agent across the way.
Without turning around, she said over her shoulder. “Border is closed.”
“Damn bosses,” Cha returned agreeably. “Never thinking about the impact on the little people. Bet that pisses you off, huh?
Now the fae looked at her. “Doesn’t matter to me. It all pays the same.”
Cha nodded, making a face of annoyed agreement. “Not much, though, right? Shit wages, I’ll bet.” She tipped her head at the slot for identification papers, where a pretty jewel now sat. “People like us, we have to stick together, share the wealth.”
The Obsidian fae woman glanced around, then snatched up the jewel with an avaricious smile, not nearly so smooth as the guard had been. “I can’t let you through. Orders from above.”
“Sure, sure. Makes it hard on all of you, though.”
She frowned. “How’s that?”
Cha jerked a thumb behind her. “Look at that jam. It’s backing up for leagues. When they finally open up, you’re going to be here way past quitting time, dealing with the backlog while the higher-ups are home enjoying the evening meal.”
“I hadn’t thought of that.” She looked out over the long queue of growling carriages. “They can all go home themselves.”
“How?” Cha held up her palms in helpless resignation.
“There’s no ambrosia station here. Everyone’s waited for the cheaper one just on the other side.
The carriages will run out of juice and revert to animal form, then you’ll have real chaos on your hands.
” She shook her head. “I feel for you. I really do.”
The Obsidian fae studied Cha. “Do you propose a solution?”
“Open the border,” Cha answered promptly. “You and all your colleagues. Let us through and out of your gorgeous hair. It’s really something, by the way—do you do something special to grow it so long and keep it so shiny?”
She put a hand to her hair, her claws long and polished with a moonstone color the same hue as her dramatic locks, starting to answer before she narrowed her eyes and dropped the hand. “If we let you through, we’ll all be fired.”
Cha had figured that. “I’m on a tight deadline and my own bosses are real jerks about it.
However, they are invested in me and my partner delivering this shipment.
How about a pretty for each of you to open the border?
Then you quit and take a little sabbatical.
” She opened the case, flashing her considerable supply of gems.
The fae woman’s gaze turned calculating. “Let me call the others over and we’ll talk numbers.”