LOST
Sitting in the departures lounge at London Gatwick, a Bloody Mary in one hand and her phone in the other, Jamie started to email Kate but then the message alert tone rang out from the phone, prompting Jamie to stop writing and she quickly pressed open.
Cameron: Hey, gorgeous! Just
wanted to wish you a
fun trip and let you know
I’ll be thinking about you
… and your return!! xx
A half smile crept onto Jamie’s lips. She was still seeing Cameron, although that had become more challenging since the day she’d overslept at his. Nevertheless, she was beginning to tire of the relationship, if you could even call it that. The sex was still very good, there was no denying that. But what more was there? Ennui had started to set in. She decided to reply later and resumed emailing Kate:
Anyway, I’d better go now, I left Madison checking out the shoes for me whilst I try to calm my nerves before the flight. Y’know how it is. See you when we land.
CANNOT WAIT. J xxx
As Jamie put away her phone, she cast her eyes back into Dune to look for Madison, but she couldn’t see her. Quickly dialling Madison’s number, she heard ringing coming from her daughter’s white carry-on, her favourite, emblazoned with fluorescent pink flowers. Jamie groaned, grabbing both of their cases and darted into the store, but Madison was nowhere to be seen. Where had she gone? She’d told her to stay in the store. She went up to the sales girl at the cash desk who was on the phone and interrupted, “Excuse me, my daughter was just in here. She's ten-years-old but looks about twelve; have you seen her?”
“Sorry, could you hold a moment?” the sales assistant spoke to her caller, “There was a girl in here, I think? But … we have so many people coming in and out. I really can’t be sure.” The pretty, but overly made up assistant paused before asking, “Who was she with?”
“She was with me. I was just sitting there.” Jamie pointed over to the row of seats in front of the shop, somewhat irritated to have to deal with some young assistant who likely didn’t give two hoots about anything.
The sales girl stared blankly around the tiny, virtually empty store, still holding the phone in her hand. “I’m sorry, I vaguely remember a girl like that, but I can’t be sure.”
“She was literally just in here. You must remember her. She’s got long brown hair, and she was wearing khaki combat pants with a pink T-shirt and trainers. I just want to know where she went.”
“I’m sorry. We have so many people coming in and out. I really don’t remember …” her voice trailed off as she turned back to her caller.
Goddammit . They hadn’t even left, and Madison was already causing trouble. Storming out of Dune, Jamie started to frantically pace up and down the stores, trying to guess where Madison may have wandered off to … then she saw it—Hamleys. YES . That was it. She’d be in there for sure, cooing over some new toy, no doubt. With a sense of relief, Jamie marched over to the store, but once inside, there was no Madison in sight. Certain that’s where she would have gone, Jamie searched every inch of the interior, like a hungry dog sniffing for food, expecting to find her hiding behind a toy display or something. But Madison was nowhere to be found. Of course she isn’t; she’s not five anymore, what was I thinking? Jamie’s heart started to race. She’d been convinced that she would find her there. She glanced at the departures board. Their flight would be boarding soon and she didn’t have a clue where her daughter was. Heart now galloping, Jamie scurried around the terminal like someone who’d misplaced their phone, let alone their child. Her eyes darted so fast she could barely focus.
“Madison, Madison!” Her voice grew louder as she tried to be heard above the din of the crowds. Running this way and that, bumping into several travellers with their cases as she attempted to weave her way through. Damn it, where is she? She rushed across to Accessorize, hoping to find her looking at hair clips, but once again, she wasn’t there. Over to LEGO—a possibility, although Madison hadn’t played with LEGO for years. No Madison. Shit. SHIT . What if she wasn’t playing at all? What if something had happened to her? What if someone had … gulp, kidnapped her, and she was on the next flight out to Guatemala? FUCK .
“MADISON, MADISON! Excuse me, have you seen a little girl? Not so little actually.” Jamie began to randomly stop passers-by, but her frenzy and the Bloody Mary left her hazy, unable to focus or even hear clearly. The terminal was one large blur of colours and motion. She felt dizzy. Any second now, she was likely to faint. Or throw up.
“Are you alright?” Jamie heard a voice come out of nowhere. “Are you alright, dear?” The question came again. A smartly dressed older woman appeared to be talking to her, but Jamie’s mind, along with her rapidly beating heart, was in overdrive; nothing was registering. “Excuse me, dear? Have you lost someone?” The woman’s eyes were kind and concerned.
Jamie snapped out of her stupor long enough to realise the woman was talking to her. “Yes, my daughter. I can’t find my daughter and our flight is leaving soon and I can’t find her.” Jamie's voice had taken on a slightly hysterical quality.
“Why don’t we go over to the Information Desk? They might be able to help there. They’re bound to have a tannoy or something.” The woman pointed across the crowds towards the arc-shaped booth.
“Tannoy?” Jamie’s eyes widened at the mere thought of it, but the woman had already taken hold of her arm and was gently but firmly leading her in that direction.
“Hello, I wonder if you could help? This lady appears to have lost her daughter.” The kind woman informed one of the women at the desk, before turning to Jamie. “What’s her name, my dear?”
Stunned, Jamie stood gawking. Words escaped her. Just like Madison. Oh my god, what had she done? She couldn’t even look after her own daughter for five minutes. Just five minutes emailing Kate and she’d lost her daughter. What would Maria say? SHIT . Maria would absolutely lose it. Why hadn’t she just made Madison stick next to her? Like any normal mother would do? In an airport of all places. One doesn't leave baggage unattended, let alone children. SHIT SHIT SHIT .
“Excuse me, dear”—the kind lady interrupted Jamie’s muddled thoughts—“what's your daughter’s name? Can you describe her to us?” Now the lady at Information was also looking directly at Jamie, both waiting for a reply.
Like a robot that had just been unpaused, Jamie broke out of her daze. “Uh, sorry. Yes, my daughter … Madison. Her name’s Madison. She was just with me. She was looking at the shoes in Dune. She was just with me.”
“Yes Miss, could you describe her to me please?” said the dark-haired lady at Information, her thick-rimmed glasses obscuring her pretty features; contacts would be far more flattering. Distracted again, Jamie had to be reeled back in.
“Sorry, yes, of course. She’s ten-years-old but tall for her age so she looks more like twelve, thirteen even. She’s got long honey brown hair and hazel eyes, and she was wearing baggy khaki coloured combat pants, with a pink T-shirt on top and white trainers. A really cute outfit actually. Oh and she’s also got her own bag—a lilac O’Neil rucksack with her Nintendo and snacks for the plane. No idea why she hasn’t got her phone too!”
Jamie was frightened. What if she really had lost Madison? What if, heaven forbid, she never saw her again? Her stomach sank, and then it sank again, so low that it would soon be joining the Titanic. Suddenly, a two-tone signal sounded across the terminal. “This is a public announcement. If anyone has seen a little girl on her own, please could you bring her to information point B. She’s ten-years-old, with long brown hair, and was last seen wearing Khaki trousers and a pink T-shirt.” The voice rang out across the sea of travellers.
Oh my god, I can’t believe this is happening. Not only have I lost my daughter, but now the whole world knows I have too. The whole world knows what a crap mother I am. The reality of the situation hit Jamie, whose mind was now beyond whirling. Why had she let Madison out of her sight? For even a second? What was she going to do if they didn’t find her? WHAT?
“Excuse me. Is this who you’re looking for?” The kind lady tapped Jamie on the back.
Suddenly, Madison materialised right before her very eyes. She appeared more beautiful and more precious in that instance than ever before.
“Madison!” Jamie leapt towards her daughter and hugged her with such force that Madison all but stumbled.
“Sorry, Mummy, I really had to go to the loo,” Madison said sheepishly, clearly worried that she might be reprimanded for the obvious chaos she’d caused.
“Wonderful, she’s here. That’s so great. Just keep an eye on her next time. This is a busy airport, you know,” said the customer service adviser, with warmth but still judgmentally.
“Happy that you found each other again,” echoed the kind lady as she left.
“Don’t ever, ever, ever, leave me again! Do you hear?” Jamie grabbed Madison’s shoulders to face her.
“Yes, Mum. I just needed the loo so desperately and you were busy. I didn’t want to disturb you.”
“Never mind. Next time, I don’t care what I’m doing, just interrupt me and we’ll go together. Airports are dangerous places. Anything could’ve happened to you. Anything. Promise me, Madison, okay?” Jamie, relieved to have her daughter back, was still trembling from fear.
Once on board, Jamie’s fears over Madison were quickly replaced by her fear of flying. She desperately wanted another drink to calm her down properly, but if she hadn’t been drinking, and on her stupid phone, she would never have lost sight of her daughter. No, a drink would have to wait. She grabbed one of Madison’s hands and held on just a little too tightly.
“I’m sorry, Mum … about today. I didn’t mean it. I promise I won’t do it next time.”
Madison gazed up at her mother, her huge eyes resembling one of those kitty cats that turn the cuteness up to the max so no one can resist. It was funny really. One minute she could have this feisty almost-teen attitude, and the next she was her little girl again.
“No Maddy. It wasn’t your fault. There won’t be a next time. I’ll make sure I’m right here next to you.”
As the plane began its taxi up to the runway, Jamie’s anxiety levels started to rise again, palms becoming sweaty. For such a frequent flyer, she really shouldn’t be this nervous. Eying up the aisle, she reconsidered another drink. Although only two hours, flights to the island were notoriously bumpy. But she would refrain. The terror of the last hour had still left her shaken. Suddenly, the roaring sound of the engines suggested they were about to take off. Yes, she would absolutely try to refrain.
* * *
“This is your captain here. Just to let you know, we will soon be starting our descent to Palma airport. You’ll be happy to know it’s a very warm thirty-two degrees.” Some passengers let out a cheer, mostly the British ones. “On behalf of myself and the team, we would like to wish you a very enjoyable trip. Thank you for flying with EasyJet.”
Jamie and Madison both peered out of the little oval window. The sky was clear and blue, with not a single cloud in sight. Ahead in the distance, their little island was coming into view, surrounded by a sparkling sea of turquoise. Jamie exhaled. This was the part of the flight she actually enjoyed. Landing. It had been bumpy, and she had ended up ordering a drink, rationalising that Madison could hardly get lost on a plane, and besides, she didn’t want to pass on her fear of flying to her daughter. No, it was the sensible thing to do. Gazing through the window, Jamie was reminded of how leaving the UK to fly to Spain was like being in a black and white movie and suddenly finding yourself in full glorious Technicolour. Her heart skipped. She hadn’t wanted to admit it to herself, but she’d missed the island. A lot. It was as if she’d left a little piece of herself there. She felt free there. Life seemed much less complicated. And lovely Kate was there, too.
“Mum look.” Madison was excitedly pointing out of the window. “Look at all those boats. It looks so pretty.”
Jamie took her daughter’s hand, a little more gently this time. “Yes, it is sweetie. Soooo pretty. We’re going to have an amazing time.” And perhaps, for the first time ever, Jamie believed that was possible.