Chapter Seven
I was relaxed and happy and slightly buzzed. I was laughing a hell of a lot and no longer felt leery about getting that buzz in the first place. Drinking during a mandatory work meeting—what kind of crazy shit was that? I couldn’t determine if I was relaxed and happy because of the sweet frosty drink or if I was drinking because I was relaxed and happy. It was all an awesome circle that didn’t appear to be ending soon. But wasn’t that the point of circles—they didn’t end?
“I think Perry needs another drink before she starts dancing on the tables.”
“That doesn’t make sense. She needs to get cut off before she starts snorting out margarita from her nose.”
I looked between Adam and Kate who were both smiling at me. “Neither, you guys. I’m just right.” I was still finishing my first one, and I was in a good place. I especially loved that it was Friday night and I didn’t have to wake up early in the morning.
“Wait, what am I saying?” Adam pushed my glass towards me. “Drink up. I think I’d like to see you dance on the tables. How many more before it takes you to do that?”
“Considering the really good mood I’m in, probably just the one.”
Almost too good. I tried to dredge up a little guilt for bailing on Dre, but I couldn’t force the feeling. Maybe if it’d actually bothered him that I had to cancel our night out, but that hadn’t been the case. He was totally fine with it and said he’d meet up with me afterwards.
“Damn, a cheap date. I knew you were my dream girl.”
I smacked him on the arm, grinning. “Hey, when are we going to start doing the work stuff?” We’d been there over a half hour already and the only thing accomplished was starting a tab. On the company dime, of course. The appetizers were starting to make their rounds, so soon we could add stuffing our faces to the agenda too.
“Whenever more people get here,” Kate said. “We’re supposed to come straight from work but not everyone does or can.”
I glanced around our reserved back room. I’d never been in Nic’s before but was told this was their place of choice. I’d driven over with Kate since it wasn’t too far from work and I could go back and get my car later.
“I guess not everyone got the same memo as you,” she said as more people filed in. “It doesn’t look like it’s employees only. You could have brought someone. Was it your boyfriend you had plans with tonight?”
“Boyfriend?” Adam clenched his chest. “You’re breaking my heart, Perry.”
I rolled my eyes. He was such a flirt. All week he’d been teasing me, but he was the kind of guy who joked around with everyone. He was way too good-natured to be threatening.
“So, what’s his name?” Kate asked.
“Who? ”
“Your boyfriend.”
Oh right. Boyfriend.
“Andre. Dre. But I’m not sure if I’d use that word to describe him.”
“Fuck buddy?” Adam waggled his eyebrows.
“No, he’s more than that. So I guess boyfriend it is.” I frowned. That just sounded… off. I had to start getting used to it, though.
Adam and Kate exchanged glances, then started laughing. “What?”
“You look like someone’s forcing you to lick up day-old cat vomit,” Kate said.
Ugh. “I do not!” They just laughed harder. “It’s complicated, that’s all.” I threw my napkin at Adam.
“So were my husband and me, and that worked out pretty damn well. Been married seven years now.”
“New relationship?” Adam asked, throwing my crumpled napkin back, bouncing it off my forehead.
“Yeah, but we’ve been together five years.” They both gave me strange looks. “Like I said, complicated.”
Adam grabbed some bacon-wrapped ball from a passing server and popped it into his mouth. “Think you’ll end up getting married too and live happily ever after like Kate here?”
“Nope. I’m never getting married.”
“Never?” Kate said.
“Never.” I slammed down the rest of my drink. Too much serious talk going on. I needed to chase back that buzz.
“Now I really know you’re my dream girl.” He wrapped his hands around his throat and stuck out his tongue. “You gotta stop killing me here.” He dramatically collapsed to the floor before bending on one knee. “Marry me, Perry. Leave your ‘complicated, more than a fuck buddy but not really a boyfriend’ boyfriend and marry me and have all my babies.”
“I thought I was your dream girl because I don’t want to get married?”
“Then just have all my babies. I’m okay with that.”
“Get up, you goof-ass. Everyone’s looking.” I was laughing to the point of having to catch my breath, but it was exactly what was needed to lighten the mood.
“Or we can just go through the motions. I’m absolutely okay with that too.”
He tugged on my wrists and I fell forward. “How has no one accused you of sexual harassment yet?”
Kate was cracking up along with me. “I try every week, but for some reason it doesn’t stick.”
I felt like I’d consumed way more alcohol than one drink. I guess I was a cheap date. I attempted to pull him up but ended up tumbling down instead.
“You guys look ridiculous,” Kate said.
“Agreed.”
Adam rose, and I jerked my head up at the deep voice that’d just dipped into our conversation. You’ve gotta be shitting me . “What the hell?” I said. “Seriously, are you stalking me? This is a private work function.”
“Yes, I should’ve guessed that, considering how professional you look down on the floor.”
His mouth was set in a tight line. He didn’t look too happy, but why should I care how happy he looked? He was the one interrupting, the one who seemed to be turning up everywhere I went lately. His tongue-panting looks didn’t excuse his bad manners. In fact, it just pissed me off more.
I stood up and put my hands on my hips. “Excuse me? You have no right to—”
“I have every right.”
“Who the fuck….” I could sense Adam and Kate’s stare on me. I flicked my head back and forth between them. “What?” Kate made a slashing motion across her throat. She looked like she was in some serious pain trying to keep her laughter inside. I was damn confused.
“Adam, if you’re done playing around, I’d like a word.”
“No problem, Stephen.” Adam winked at me, and I squinted at him, even more confused now. How did they know each other?
The guy named Stephen gave me a hard look before pulling Adam aside. They soon disappeared into the other room. My mouth dropped slightly and I turned towards Kate. She finally let herself bust up.
“That was… I don’t know.” She shook her head, banging her palms on the table. “Fucking hilarious? But also kinda bold, Perry. I cannot wait to hear this story. It’s gotta be a good one.”
“What are you talking about, Kate?”
“I thought you said you didn’t know him.”
“Know who? You’re not making any sense. All I know is that whoever-the-fuck crashed our little party right now is the same guy who’s been popping up way too often. This is the third time in a week. It’s… distracting. And how does he know Adam?”
“Oh man.” She shook her head again. “Remember when I told you about a certain hot-as-fuck honcho you might meet tonight? Well, I guess you’ve saved me the introductions.”
“What?” What? It took a whole two seconds for everything to click into place. I’d never felt more sober. Stephen…. “ That’s Stephen Davidson?” I whispered. “S. Davidson from corporate?”
“Uh-huh.”
“Fuck.” I dropped my head in my hands and groaned.
She nudged my shoulder. “Come on, divulge. How do you know him, Perry? Another complication?”
She giggled, and I peeked at her through my fingers. “My God, it’s nothing like that. And stop laughing! It’s not funny.”
“I think it’s very funny. Knowing the man but not the name? That has hookup written all over it. Damn, if I weren’t married I’d be jealous as hell. No, forget that. I’m frickin’ jealous anyway.” She leaned in closer and yanked my hands down. “And dying to hear the details.”
“I already told you, it’s nothing like that. We’ve never hooked up.” I felt another groan forming in my throat. The whole dynamic just shifted on its ass. “Shit. I love this job too.”
“What does that have to do with anything?”
“Because I have no idea what I’m going to do now or what’s going to happen. It’s only my first week and I’m already getting in trouble.” People like me were expendable. The company wouldn’t think twice about letting me go for insubordination.
“Pfft. You didn’t know who he was. Just from now on, it’d probably be a good idea to refrain from talking to the higher-ups like that. Their egos are fragile.”
“I hope Adam’s not getting bitched at too hard.” Or worse. He wasn’t that high up on the food chain, but he was still a rung above us. His job description included overseeing the operators, not frolicking on the floor with them.
She waved her hand. “I’m sure it’s fine. Stephen’s not our boss. He doesn’t even work in the same building. He’s probably just reminding Adam to show a little restraint in front of the new employees. Wouldn’t want to set a bad precedent.”
“But he does have enough clout to cause problems for us if he wants to. He’s still a boss, just not for our department. He could easily talk to Mr. Krismer, who is our boss, right?”
This was a game changer. I had to decide between keeping my job and speaking my mind. I had to start biting my tongue from now on whenever I dealt with him, which I prayed wasn’t too often.
“Well, yeah, but….” She smiled. “Just don’t worry about it, okay? Have another margarita.”
No, I was done for the night, and not just with drinking. I had to get out of there before my mouth did any more damage. Probably not the smartest move to leave a mandatory work meeting before the actual work portion started, but who knew if I’d even have a job come Monday. There was a disgruntled Norse god in charge of my fate now.
Dammit. I really fucking loved this job too.
“I really like working there, Dre.”
He gave me a sideways glance before focusing back on the road. “Okay.”
“And I don’t want anything or anyone to fuck it up.” Especially not Stephen Davidson. Now that I had a bit of distance between him and me, I just felt irked. Why did that man keep showing up in my life? No, I was downright pissed off. The second he’d seen my badge that night at Wengo’s, he’d known that I worked for the same company, but he failed to mention it. All this could’ve been avoided. What a jerk.
“Okay.” Dre eyed me again. “How much did you drink tonight?”
“Not much. Why?”
“Just wondering. Let me know if I start driving too jerky for you.”
Unbelievable. I knew him way too damn well. “Don’t worry, Dre. I’m not going to puke inside your precious truck.”
He shrugged. “I just assumed that’s why you wanted me to pick you up early.”
“No, I said I wanted to leave for work-related reasons that I was trying to explain to you and…. Never mind. I don’t need to talk about it.”
“Okay.”
“And you seriously can’t tell by now when I’m drunk enough to get sick? ”
“Well, yeah. Usually. Can’t hurt to be too careful, though.”
I sighed, tucking my legs underneath me and resting my head back. I could see him through the corner of my eye getting all twitchy because my shoes were on the seat. I knew he was picturing all kinds of dirt and crud getting on the leather. But it was fucking leather. It’d wipe off.
We were quiet for the rest of the short drive. When he pulled into the FiTech lot where I’d left my car, I opened the door and hopped out. “Thanks for the ride, Dre.”
“You coming back to my place?”
“I’d rather go home.”
“All right. I’ll follow you over, then.”
By home I’d meant alone, but I guess we had planned to do something that night. I nodded before walking to my car. It wouldn’t kill me to at least try and be some decent company to him for a change. I’d be the first to admit that I wasn’t much fun lately. But honestly, I’d much rather curl up on the couch and talk to Christa than entertain my boyfriend.
As I drove, my mind wandered back to Nic’s. I wondered what had happened after I’d left. I never got a chance to speak with Adam because I’d gone outside to wait for Dre before he’d finished with Stephen. Kate planned to explain my absence by saying I wasn’t feeling well.
Stupid. So, so stupid. I should’ve just stayed. It was my responsibility to stay. I knew that now. I hated that some random guy could throw me off like that. I didn’t care who he was or how he was affiliated with the company. So he was a boss. He wasn’t my boss. It wasn’t as if we had to work in the same room or I had to report directly to him. This didn’t have to affect me at all if I didn’t let it.
I was feeling much better by the time I arrived home. I pulled into my spot and Dre parked in a visitor’s. Christa’s car wasn’t there. I had no idea where she was or when she’d be back .
We went inside, and I’d barely closed the door before Dre was pinning me against the wall. “I’ve missed you so much, baby.”
His body was mashed against me, his mouth sucking on my neck. I slapped his chest. “You’d better not be marking me up.”
“Would that be so bad?”
“It is when it’s no longer cold enough to wear turtlenecks.” He chuckled, then suctioned back on my skin. I pushed him away. “Dre! I’m not sixteen anymore. I am not going to walk around with a damn hickey on my neck.”
He pressed his lips to mine instead. They were familiar, and I tried to take comfort in that. “I’m glad you called me to pick you up,” he whispered into my mouth.
“Even knowing there was a chance I could throw up all over your upholstery?”
“Even then.” He stroked my hair. “It seemed like a couple thing to do. You know, go to the other half when they need help. Was I your first choice?”
“Well, um, I actually called Christa first, but I couldn’t get a hold of her.” That shouldn’t matter, really.
The look on his face told me it did matter. “I want to be your first choice, Perry.”
“Okay. It’s just that I’m used to going to Christa for everything. This thing with you and me is still new, you know that.”
His hands wandered down to my ass, and he kissed me again. When he pulled away, I could see that look in his eye. He was ready to go. Sadly, I was not.
He gripped between my legs and squeezed. “Have you given more thought to getting inked?”
My body froze up. “Not really.”
“I don’t see what the problem is. It’s going to be you and me, baby, for a long time. You’re mine and I’m yours. I want everyone to see that. ”
“A long time isn’t forever. A tattoo is forever, Dre. That’s the problem.”
He ground against me. If our clothes were off, he’d already be done by now. Any moment he was going to tug down my jeans and poke around for an opening. I was not going to fuck by the front door when at any time Christa could waltz in. I was getting frostier by the second.
“We’ll call it forever, then.” He unzipped his pants.
“Dre, stop.”
“Why? I need you.”
His actions were becoming more frantic. He was starting to grunt. It wouldn’t be a big deal to just let him shove it in. It’d be over quickly, so I really didn’t need to worry much about Christa. I could reach over and lock the door if I was that worried about it.
“I need you so bad,” he breathed into my ear. All that hot air annoyed me.
His fingers were working the button on my jeans, and I was afraid he’d rip it off. I wasn’t the best seamstress; I’d never get that thing back on straight.
“Dre, stop. I just… don’t want to right now, okay?”
He sighed loudly. “You never want to anymore.”
I refrained from rolling my eyes. He didn’t need that. “It hasn’t been that long.”
“Over a week.”
“Exactly. It hasn’t been that long.”
“What’s going on with you? Ever since…. Does couple sex turn you off or something?”
I wished he’d stop saying ‘couple.’ I wished he’d stop saying a lot of things. I didn’t want words, but I didn’t want action either. Whatever was wrong with me, I wanted it to end. A blue-eyed boss invaded my mind for a flash. Where the fuck did that come from?
“Don’t I turn you on anymore? ”
He actually looked hurt, and all my irritation turned to guilt. I felt like shit. I should have just sucked it up and let him stick that damn thing wherever he wanted. Take one for the team. It wasn’t like I hadn’t gone through the motions a million times before. In and out. Out and In. Maybe a little twisting. It was like sharpening a pencil. Once again, I was making something into a major thing when I didn’t need to be.
“It’s not that, Dre.” Or was it? Was I just lying to him through my fucking teeth? I wasn’t sure.
“How about watching porn together? That’s worked sometimes before.”
Hope glimmered in his eyes. Dammit. He was trying. This whole relationship thing. He wanted us to have a real shot at being together, and all my doubts and unexplained emotions were ruining it. I sucked.
“I just want to lie down in bed. I… I feel like I might get my period early.”
He moved back. Step away from the menstruating lady slowly. “Well, why didn’t you just say so from the beginning, babe?”
I shrugged. There was no questioning whether or not that one was a lie. I was a big fucking liar. Plain and simple. I told myself that the relief covering his face made it worth it. It wasn’t him. It was me.
“Do you mind if I watch some?”
“Go ahead.”
I went to my room and flopped on the bed, dropping my purse beside me. The piece from Dre’s truck sat on my dresser and taunted me out of the corner of my eye. I shook my head. A freaking piece of his baby. It didn’t matter how I felt about it; it meant a huge deal to him. I pulled my phone out of my bag to see if Christa had ever texted me back, but there was nothing. I caught the green shimmer covering the bottom of my bag and I dragged it out slowly, shamrock by shamrock .
I held it in my palm and wished for some luck. I didn’t think it worked that way, but I was so damn muddled. I may have made Dre feel better, but I felt worse. He’d been a part of my life long enough to deserve the truth. I just had to figure out what it was first. Was it a commitment issue? A Dre issue? A something-else-entirely issue?
I lay my head down on the pillow, the necklace still clenched in my hand. The man who’d given it to me was now going to be a part of my life too, even if it was in a strictly professional sense, even if I only saw him occasionally during work events. However infrequently we ran into each other, things had still changed. We’d gone from possible chance encounters to definite ones.
And something about that terrified the shit out of me.