Chapter Eighteen
T he tower crashed down for the umpteenth time that morning, followed by a mass of giggles. I didn’t know whose were louder—mine or hers.
Emily and I were sitting on the floor. I was building the blocks, and she was knocking them down. Every time I thought she’d had enough, she’d point at me and blow out a ‘p’ sound telling me to do it again. We were having the best time.
Everything was good. Shiny new day and all. Christa had left early that morning for a seminar and wouldn’t be back until late. After she’d finished crying, and we’d finished talking, the air had cleared. Things were back to normal. And in a matter of hours I’d be with Dre again, and I was determined to make things right.
“Pa.” Emily waved her hands around. She couldn’t say my full name yet, but I wouldn’t expect her to at barely a year old. I blew a raspberry on her belly, and she grabbed my hair and tugged .
The doorbell startled me and she laughed, pulling harder. She probably thought she was the one who’d caused me to jump and wanted to see it again. I wondered if Dre had changed his mind. How outrageous would that be?
“Who’s at the door, Emily?”
“Doh.”
“Come on, let’s go see.” I picked her up and carried her there.
She pointed. “Doh.”
“Who do you think it is?” I peeked through the small window. Uh… what? Emily started bouncing in my arms like she couldn’t contain her excitement anymore.
I opened the door, swallowing down the butterflies trying to escape through my throat.
“Hi.” Emily waved.
“Stephen, what are you doing here?” He gave us both a bewildered look.
“Hi,” she said again.
Stephen smiled. “Hi.”
“This is my niece, Emily,” I told him. “She’s keeping me company today.”
He took her little hand and shook. “Nice to meet you, Emily.”
My heart damn near melted.
“Where’s the red hair come from?” he asked, touching a little curl. Emily showed off her adorable grin.
“What? Oh.” I snapped out of it. “My mom. Not as red, but….” I looked back at him. “You never told me what you’re doing here.”
“You left something in my truck yesterday. I found it under the seat and came to return it.”
“I did? What?”
Emily stuck out her arms towards him. What was this—he was her new buddy now? I stepped back to allow him to come in.
He pulled a tube of lip balm out of his pocket. “This. ”
I laughed, and of course, Emily had to get in on it too. I took it from him and set it on the counter before she could grab it. “You came all this way to give me lip balm? I think that could’ve waited until Monday.”
He shrugged. “I wasn’t too far from here anyway. And it looks like it’d be one of your favorites. I thought you might miss it.”
Cotton Candy Jelly Belly . It was one of my favorite flavors, but I hadn’t noticed it missing yet.
“Well, my lips thank you.” I could feel my face drop. Shit! That did not sound right. “Um, would you like a cup of coffee since you’re here?”
“That’d be great.” Emily stuck her arms out again. “Here, let me take her.”
“What?”
“I’ll take her while you get the coffee.”
“Ah….” Emily was kicking her legs, trying to push off me to get to him. Okay, what the heck is going on? She didn’t usually take to unfamiliar men so quickly. “Are you sure?”
“Yeah.” He laughed. “I think I can handle it.”
I handed over Emily. “So, you don’t mind kids?”
He gave me a funny look and Emily tried imitating it. She was too damn cute for her own good. How could anyone not fall in love the second they saw her?
“We’ll be fine, Perry.”
He walked off with her to the family room. Huh. I prepared a fresh pot, and while it was brewing, I sneaked over and peeked in. Emily was propped up against his leg, and they were taking turns scribbling on construction paper.
My breath hitched. Something came over me then and I had to head back to the kitchen. This man . I rested my palms on the counter and stared out the window until the coffeemaker beeped. I inhaled deeply, then grabbed a mug from the cabinet. There was no one else to blame for my light-headedness but myself. I was the one who’d invited him to stay.
Several minutes later I was carrying his coffee—black—and a sliced-up banana for Emily. They were now rolling a ball around the floor.
“Ball.” Emily looked at me and grinned before whacking the ball at him.
“Get this girl a bat and glove. She’s ready to go.”
I smiled and set down his cup on the table behind him. I preferred not to speak since it’d probably come out a garbled mess. I wasn’t sure why seeing Stephen interacting with Emily affected me so hard, but it did. I wanted him to hurry up and leave so I could stop feeling this way.
“Thank you,” he said, picking up his cup before eyeing me. “You okay?”
“Mmhmm.” I nodded, then sat at the edge of the table and held out the plate. “Do you want some banana, Emily?”
She toddled over and grabbed a piece. Stephen sipped his coffee and watched us. My heart bludgeoned my chest like a crazed maniac. I tried pretending like everything was normal, but it so fucking wasn’t.
Emily shoved a bit of banana in Stephen’s direction, offering it to him. He put his mug down, then pretended to eat it. She pulled her hand away, laughing.
Just shoot me now and put me out of my misery.
That continued for several more rounds until she got a little too close. A mixture of banana and toddler drool ended up smearing on his shirt.
“Oh sh—shoot.” I jumped up and handed him a napkin. I stopped before wiping it up myself. Or worse—asking him to take it off so I could wash it. “Sorry about that.”
“No big deal. ”
He really did seem like it wasn’t a big deal, but his shirt was light-colored and I didn’t want it to stain. I went to the kitchen and wet a towel with a little soap, then handed it to him when I returned.
“Thanks.” He rubbed at the spot, and I focused on Emily. She was happily munching on her food and had appeared to have forgotten about Stephen for the moment. It was easier that way.
“Why did you say you never wanted to get married?”
I jerked my head towards him. “What?” Where the heck had that come from?
He set the towel on the table. “That night at the Brewhouse. You were coming back to the table after dancing with Kate and I overheard you. I was just curious, wondering if you had a bad experience to make you feel that way.”
I stared at him a bit. My first thought was that the question was too personal, but it wasn’t like I had a problem talking about it with anyone else.
“The opposite, actually,” I said. “My parents never married and they continue to this day to have as close to a perfect relationship as you can get. I’d rather be like them than the majority of other couples I see who are married and unhappy.”
He tilted his head as if studying me. “That’s something I don’t hear often. Usually, someone’s gun-shy because of a parents’ nasty divorce, not because they’re happily unmarried.”
“What about you? Are your parents still together?”
“Well, I did have the nasty divorce experience, but your situation is more interesting. I’d rather talk about you.”
“There’s not much to say. My parents aren’t the norm, but it works for them. I grew up wanting that same freedom, whereas my sister turned out the opposite.”
“Emily’s mom?”
I nodded. “She was embarrassed because my parents weren’t married, and it seemed like her way of rebelling was marrying the instant she could. Unfortunately, it was to a jerk who doesn’t deserve her.”
“Another unhappy marriage.”
“Yeah, but she won’t admit it.” I glanced at Emily who was starting to get sleepy. I was already careful about swearing around her, but I was going to have to start watching my mouth when talking about the asshole too. “He’s a lousy husband, but so far he seems like a decent-enough father. That’s the only thing that allows me to tolerate him.”
“It’s just you and your sister, then?”
“Yep.”
“Are you two close?”
“To an extent but only because of my niece here.” I cuddled her in my lap. “I love my sister, but we don’t exactly have anything in common. At least not until Emily was born.”
I wanted so badly to ask about him, if he had any siblings, if there were any children in the family since he seemed so comfortable around them. I wanted to, but I didn’t. I didn’t want to find out anything that would make me like him even more.
“Speaking of Emily,” he said, standing up. “She’s going down for the count. I’ll get out of your way so she can nap.”
I smiled, happy that he’d noticed. I hadn’t looked forward to being rude and kicking him out. He picked up his empty cup, looked into it a moment before resting his eyes back on me.
“I’m meeting a few friends tomorrow night at Wengo’s if you’d like to stop by.”
My chest yammered away. I couldn’t get it to shut up. He’d asked in a casual way, just friends hanging out, but it had a date-y feel to it. I’d never been so relieved to have plans already. I didn’t trust myself not to say no. I knew I was strong enough not to cheat on Dre, but I wasn’t sure if I was strong enough to decline the invitation to spend more time with this man .
“I’ll be babysitting again, but have fun. If Alex is there, tell him I said hi.”
He nodded and headed towards the kitchen with his cup. He looked over his shoulder. “If you ever want help with that, let me know.”
“With babysitting?” What?
My phone rang in my purse, and I quickly pulled it out and silenced it before the noise roused Emily. Too late. She hadn’t been sleeping yet, but at least her eyes were drooped. Between the loud tone and my jerky movement, they were now popped wide.
“Yes,” he said when he came back into the room. “I have a nephew. I could use the practice.”
“Oh, how old is he?”
Emily was being all grabby, trying to stick her hand into my purse. I pulled it away, then focused back on him.
“Fourteen—”
Emily belted out an excited squeal and made a sound that I knew as the word ‘flower.’ I looked down and realized I’d been too late pulling away my purse. One second earlier and she wouldn’t have had the shamrock necklace clenched in her tiny fist.
When I glanced at Stephen, he was smiling. I carefully unhooked her fingers and set the necklace aside. She did not like that. Her tiredness caught up with her once again and she began wailing.
I stood as she fussed in my arms, straining to get the shiny green flowers back. “I really should put her down for that nap now.”
“Of course. Thanks for the coffee.”
“You’re welcome, Stephen. Thanks for stopping by.”
We walked him to the door, and he waved goodbye to us both, although she wasn’t interested that time. I rocked her as I watched him leave, feeling an unexpected melancholy at doing so.
I used to think that what Dre and I had was complicated. That was nothing compared to the friendship Stephen and I shared.
Lips trailed up and down my neck. An erection poked sharply against my hip. Gun to head? It was a little annoying.
“God, I fucking missed you so much, Perry.”
Dre’s mouth covered mine before I could respond. Not that I even had a response. Had I missed him too? Except when I’d felt guilty, I hadn’t thought of him much at all. That only sparked new guilt, and I put more effort into the kiss.
We’d been on my couch for the past half hour or so, me sitting sideways across his lap. As soon as the place had been declared a kid-free zone he’d come over. The moment he saw me, he slung me off my feet and carried me to the couch. He hadn’t been able to keep his hands to himself since.
“There’s so much I need to tell you,” he said when his mouth was free.
I smiled. “Then tell me.” I’d much rather talk anyway. Actually, I’d prefer to go to sleep, but I was trying. That was what relationships comprised of—give and take.
“I’d rather show you first.”
Oh Lordy. This was going to be one of those giving times.
He shocked the hell out of me when he took something out of his pocket instead. It was wrapped in hard plastic. He pulled it out and held it in front of me. A heart on a chain. Jewelry? Dre never gave me jewelry. I didn’t even like jewelry.
“What is this?” I asked. As if I couldn’t tell that it was a heart on a chain.
“A present for you.” He draped it over my neck and clasped it. “I know you’d never want a ring, so I wanted to give you some kind of symbol to show how serious I am. Something besides a part of my truck, of course.” He kissed my shoulder. “At least until we get our matching tats.”
I disregarded his last sentence and held the heart up. It was platinum with several diamonds in the center. I couldn’t deny that it was gorgeous, but it just wasn’t me. I didn’t care if he gave me something that only cost a dollar; I just wanted it to represent me. I wanted him to get me.
“This must’ve been very expensive, Dre. You really shouldn’t have, especially since you just had to put money into your truck.”
I’d received a present when I was the reason he had to put that money into it? Add another check to the guilt tally.
“I’m doing well, you know that. I can afford to buy you something nice.” He traced his fingers underneath the chain. “I could even go as far as supporting you if you didn’t want to work at all and just focus on school.”
“Dre.”
“You’re right. I’m sorry. Let’s not talk about that now.” His fingers dipped lower to the tops of my breasts. “Do you like the necklace? You didn’t say.”
I suddenly felt like an unappreciative brat. My boyfriend had picked this out for me, and all I was doing was complaining about it in my head. Ever since I had ears, I’d heard that it wasn’t the gift; it was the thought that counted.
“It’s beautiful, Dre. Thank you.”
He wrapped his arms around my waist and held me tightly. “Remember when I told you on the phone that I did a lot of thinking this past week? Well, I need to explain what I meant by that.”
“Okay.”
“The weekend that I went up north, I was actually going to give you the necklace then. But I freaked out. I got scared. Started questioning if I wanted to be in a relationship.”
I stared at him. “But it was your idea to begin with. You even asked me to move in with you.”
He gave me a squeeze. “I know, baby. I know it was my idea, but that didn’t stop me from wondering if I’d made the correct decision. I had to do some soul-searching to make sure it was what I really wanted. I was relieved when I had to cover for Regg because even though I was swamped at the gym, I also had that time away from you to put things into perspective. Do you know where I’m going with this?”
“No,” I whispered, hoping he wouldn’t ask me to move in again.
“I came to the conclusion that I only want you. I’m sure of that now. One hundred percent. I don’t need anyone else. We have a history together. We’ve always found our way back to each other no matter who else came into our lives. I can imagine us together now without an ounce of doubt, and that feels fucking fantastic. When I gave you the necklace, Perry, it felt right.”
His pretty words were coming through faster than I could process them. I’d never known Dre to act like this. He was saying all the right things, doing all the right things. He was beautiful to look at. Sure, he had his share of irritating traits just like everyone else, and he preferred his kids to have wheels and tranny fluid, but all that aside, he was a great catch.
He nuzzled his face into my neck. “You and me, Perry, that feels right.”
Yes, a great catch. Now I just had to convince my heart that he was the right catch for me .