Chapter Twenty-Four
O hmigod, ohmigod, ohmigod.
I ripped off the sheets. I was going to die. I was going to fucking die.
Ohmigod, ohmigod, ohmigod.
I stared in horror. A few spots had soaked through to the mattress. I dug my fingers into my scalp. Someone please kill me now.
I tried dabbing it up with a shirt. That didn’t do shit. Club soda? Would that work? Did he have some? Argh. Why couldn’t I fucking remember if that was one of the things in his fridge?
“Oh. My. God.”
“Perry?” he said in a groggy voice.
Ohmigod, had I said that out loud? Was I making too much noise?
“Perry, are you hurt?”
He sounded more awake now, and I glanced at the door. He was coming towards me. My breath hitched, and I momentarily forgot about what I’d done to his bed. Closer, closer. I didn’t know where to look. My eyes were ping-ponging everywhere . Legs. Abs. Chest. Tattoo? Bulge. Abs. Legs. Chest. Bulge. I could see the outline of his cock through his boxers. Holy mother of God, it looked beautiful.
I forced my leering back up to his chest, but by then he was right there . Yes, it was a tattoo, and no, I didn’t have time to sit around and ponder what it was of. Did I think this was a leisurely Sunday brunch? I had to get my priorities straight. Holy shit. The mattress.
“Perry, what happened?”
I think it took him exactly two seconds after asking to figure it out for himself. I was absolutely sure the mortified expression on my face helped give it away more quickly.
“Please, Stephen. I’ll take care of it. Just go back to sleep.”
“You can take my bed. I’ll take the couch.”
“What? No. Just go. Please .”
He nodded and turned away, thankfully respecting the fact that I was way too embarrassed to have any more words with him before anything was cleaned up. I just wanted him gone so I could deal with the mess on my own. I didn’t even check out his ass on the way out; that’s how much I resumed focus on the mattress.
I waited until he went back to his room, and then I darted into the bathroom and found some soap and a dark towel I planned to replace. I spent the next fifteen minutes making sure every speck was out before changing my clothes and taking everything down to the washing machine. I was so glad to have noticed the little laundry room set off the kitchen when I was snooping around. The last thing I wanted to do was ask.
After starting a load, I gave myself a second to breathe. I still couldn’t believe this had happened. I’d finally fallen asleep when I thought it’d be impossible, only to wake up a short time later with the damn period I’d somehow forgotten would be arriving soon. I’d stuffed a pad in my underwear right away when I woke up, but apparently that only worked if I did it before I bled all over the frickin’ bed.
What a nightmare.
God, I wished. I went to the couch and curled up into a ball. I sat on the end where Stephen had been, and if I buried my nose into the cushions, I could detect his scent. It was comforting.
“Hi.”
I jumped, letting out a little squeal. Great. Now he’d just caught me smelling him.
“Hi,” I said. He was standing on the stairs, his shorts and T-shirt back on. “You should be sleeping. You have to get up for work in a few hours.”
“So do you.”
He took a few steps down, looking less hobbly. “How’s your ankle?”
“Better.”
“That’s good.” I smiled, but it was off. I hated feeling self-conscious with him. I didn’t want to turn him on, but I didn’t want to turn him off either.
He came down the rest of the stairs and over to the couch, sitting beside me. He really needed to go back to bed. No sense in both of us waiting for the laundry to finish. This wasn’t an occasion that needed to be shared.
“I want to tell you something that I’ve never told anyone.”
I gave him a sideways glance. “Okay.”
“It was my freshman year of college. Me and a bunch of guys went out on Friday night to this little place near campus for an all-you-can-eat fish fry. We stuffed ourselves with perch, threw down a shitload of pitchers, then hit the bars. The last place we stopped, I recognized a girl from one of my classes, so I went over to talk. The next thing I knew, we were back at her place. ”
Um, not sure I’m liking this story so far.
“We were going at it on her bed and then… I threw up. All over her.”
I whipped my head around. “ What? ”
“All the fish, all the beer. I puked up everything. It landed on her chest, her face, her hair, her bed. Can you imagine what that smelled like? It was a fucking disaster.”
“Oh my God.” I covered my mouth, but I could not stop the laughter from spilling out. “I’m sorry. I don’t mean to laugh, but….”
He smiled. “Nah, don’t worry about it. It is pretty funny now. But not so much then.”
“Wow, I can imagine.” I angled my body to face him. “Actually, no, I can’t. This girl was in your class? What happened after?”
“We never looked at each other again, and thankfully I never had another class with her. And as far as I know, she never told anyone what happened. I think she was just as horrified as I was and didn’t want to advertise the fact that she had to wash someone else’s vomit off her body.”
“That’s….” I shook my head, still giggling. “I can’t even. Were you that drunk?”
“I was drunk, but not that drunk. I think I had a bad piece of fish or something. It spewed out so fast I didn’t even have time to move.”
“Wow.”
“So I take it you’ve never had that happen to you?”
“Uh, no. The closest I came was having a guy cry all over me. Never had to deal with puke.”
“Yeah, it wasn’t one of my finest moments.”
“Hey, accidents happen, right? It’s a part of life.”
His grin was wide. “So true.” All right, buddy. I see what you’re doing here. “It’s not a big deal, Perry.”
I knew he was no longer talking about himself. “I know. I probably overreacted again, but I assumed you’d feel just as disgusted as Dre. He would’ve totally freaked out.”
“I’m not Dre.” I know . “And if he’s too much of a pussy to handle something like that, what’s he going to do when he has kids?”
“He doesn’t want any.”
He was quiet for a bit, and then he said, “So, what was the deal with the crying guy? You must’ve rejected him.”
“In a way. He didn’t want to wrap it up, so I told him it wasn’t happening. I won’t have sex without a condom. Ever. Well, apparently, he had a hard time keeping it up when it was covered. He begged me to change my mind, and when I refused, he started crying and telling me about his little problem. I couldn’t help feeling bad for him, so I let him spend the next hour sobbing all over me.”
Stephen snickered. “I gotta admit, I feel a little bad for the guy too.” He gave me a thoughtful look. “Not to get too personal, but we’re kinda doing that anyway… the ‘no sex ever without a condom’ thing. Even with your boyfriend?”
I nodded. Thank God . Especially since I’d unknowingly been sleeping with every guy Christa had. I was a regular Wilt Chamberlain by default.
“Remember he wasn’t always my boyfriend, and we weren’t monogamous before that, and….” We haven’t had sex since becoming a couple anyway . And we never would be having it again. “I have another confession, Stephen.”
He smoothed his hands together. “Another? This should be interesting.”
“Dre and I aren’t just fighting. We broke up.”
His eyes widened a bit. Did I want him to be happy or unhappy about it? As long as we remained friends, I guess it didn’t matter.
“When?”
“About a month ago. The same day I moved out. The same day I went psycho on Jillian. ”
He rubbed his jaw. “Can I assume your roommate played a part in the breakup?”
I rested my head on the cushion. “I caught them fucking in the shower.”
“Shit, Perry, I’m sorry. That’s rough. No wonder you’ve been messed up lately.”
I gave him a half smile. “Yeah, it did mess me up. But it was mainly all Christa. I can’t say that I would’ve felt as gutted if I would’ve found him with anyone else. She was my best friend, you know?”
“I know.” He laid his head in the same position on the couch so we were both staring directly at each other. “You’ve had a shitty month.”
I snorted. “Yeah, you could say that. But it’s getting better. It’s just hurts how she could do that to me. And it makes me feel stupid as hell too. This wasn’t a one-time thing—it was going on for months. How could I have let them fool me like that?”
“You’re not stupid, Perry. From what I know of you so far, you seem very loyal to those you care about. You’re not going to assume the worst.”
“Thanks for that.” I still felt stupid, but I appreciated him trying to help.
“If you need a positive in this fucked-up situation, at least you never got inked for him.” I looked at him strangely. “You didn’t, right?’
“Uh, no. But how’d you know he wanted me to get one?” Before he could respond, I said, “Wait, the Brewhouse. I probably said all kinds of stuff that night. How do you remember all this?”
“I just do.”
Huh. “Speaking of tattoos…. I got a glimpse of yours earlier.” Among other things. When the heat started rushing, I had to look away. Someone throw me in a meat locker.
“I didn’t mean to surprise you like that, but when I thought something happened to you, my first thought wasn’t to put on clothes.”
I swallowed. “No problem. Um, so what is it? It looked like a lion and maybe some kind of flower design. Is it symbolic for something?”
I half wished I could take back my question. By asking about it, I was nervous that he’d take off his shirt and show me. He already looked too good not to touch, and I didn’t want to screw everything up by throwing myself at him.
“Yes. Strength and hope. It’s a lion and a lotus. My mom went through a really hard time at one point, and I guess you could say I got it to honor her. It reminds me that no matter what happens, there’s always a way to make a better life as long as you keep fighting for it.”
I felt my heartstrings pull. “That’s really sweet. What does she think of it?”
“She adores it.”
“And your dad?”
“He hates tattoos, which is exactly why I got one.” Hmm. I waited to see if he’d elaborate. He didn’t. But that didn’t stop me from feeling even closer to him.
I took his hand. This man . “I have to say, I think you’re my best friend right now.”
He looked down at our joined hands and his chest rose sharply. “Can I ask why you waited so long to tell me about your breakup? Maybe I could’ve helped.”
“You already did, Stephen. So much. The reason I hesitated telling you was because I was worried about something changing between us. I love our friendship, what we have together, and I didn’t want to ruin it. I didn’t want you acting any differently towards me or for things to get awkward. But then it’s because you’re such a good friend that I didn’t want to keep it from you any longer. Does all this make sense? ”
“Yeah. It does.”
Good. Then can you explain it to me? Because I was so confused.
I was falling in love with my best friend.