Chapter 31
Miranda
Ihaven’t stopped thinking about Hayden. Also, I haven’t really talked to him, and it’s been a few days.
I had an interview in Carruthersville that kept me away during Sierra’s lesson earlier in the week, and I’m sure Hayden assumes I’m avoiding him…
which I guess isn’t completely false. I just don’t know what to say.
I can tell by the way the sun shines into my kitchen that it’s late afternoon and Sierra’s lesson is likely coming up.
I don’t even need to look at the clock, so I do what any responsible woman would do.
I pull out a bottle of my favorite wine, fill my glass to the top, and head outside to face the man responsible for the best sex of my life.
As predicted, I step onto my patio in time to see Sierra head out with my mom, and there’s no stopping the smile that spreads across my face.
It’s good that she found something to make her happy despite her tragic loss.
And it’s good that she ended up with Hayden, who actually gives a shit, and not some group situation or a disinterested family just there to provide food and shelter.
My smile grows when Hayden’s silhouette appears at the other end of the property as he makes his way over. I wasn’t sure if he would still come by, considering we haven’t talked about anything that happened or what happens next. But I’ve missed him.
“Hey,” Hayden greets from the edge of my patio. “Mind if I join you?”
I gesture toward the empty seat beside me. “Of course I don’t mind. Wine?”
He shakes his head to the wine but takes the seat beside me. “I missed you the other day. I didn’t see your truck, so I just watched Sierra’s lesson instead of walking over.”
My shoulders sag with relief. I thought I would feel awkward around him, but somehow this feels completely normal. “I had an interview in Carruthersville, so I didn’t get back until late. Her lesson went okay?”
“Of course.” He removes his hat and runs a hand through his hair. “So, are we done avoiding each other?”
I let out a short laugh. “I wasn’t avoiding you—well, not exactly.”
“We can talk about it, if you want. Or we don’t have to. Just don’t hide from me.”
Whipping my head around, I stare at him in surprise.
Last time, I was the one who went to him and asked him not to avoid me.
It didn’t do much good because we both ended up avoiding each other.
I went as far as to quit my job just to keep from seeing him.
Even now, I’m only here temporarily. My choices are still in motion.
I have an apartment lined up. I’m looking for a job. Nothing has changed.
“As long as I’m still here, I won’t avoid you,” I say quietly.
“Still determined to get away from me?”
I’m already shaking my head before he’s finished the question.
“I’m not trying to get away from you. Not anymore, anyway.
I have a college degree that I don’t use.
I’ve always lived in the same place. Had the same job, aside from the few months I worked for Mrs. Crawley.
It just seems like everyone’s moving on and doing new things, while I’m stuck in place. ”
He’s quiet for a moment while my words sink in, and I hope more than anything that he believes me. That he understands. At this point, I don’t want to leave. I want to stay here with him. But I won’t just sit here and hope things between us will change. I’ve done that long enough.
“I haven’t stopped thinking about the other night.”
“You aren’t the only one,” I respond with a small smile.
Another silence passes between us, but it isn’t exactly uncomfortable. It becomes even less uncomfortable after I down a good portion of my wine. Hayden snorts out a laugh, and I find myself chuckling along with him.
“You sure you wouldn’t like some wine?”
“No. It wouldn’t take much alcohol to shred this tiny bit of control I have over myself. It’s already taking all of my strength to keep from kissing you right now,” he says in a gruff voice.
“Would kissing me be such a bad thing?”
I expect him to respond with a witty comeback, but instead, he grabs the back of my neck and pulls me to him, devouring my mouth in a hungry kiss.
My lips instantly part, and I accept everything he gives me, our tongues swiping and tangling as we both let out a relieved groan.
His tug on my hair causes heat to rush to my core as memories from the other night race through my mind.
As abruptly as the kiss started, he pulls away, resting his forehead against mine as we both struggle to get our breathing under control. “Kissing you could never be a bad thing. It’s the stopping that’s a problem.”
“Where do we go from here?” I ask, finally breaking my personal oath and asking the question that’s been hanging over us since we spent the night tangled in each other’s arms.
His lips curve into a small smile. “Wherever you want. You’re the one leaving, not me.”
“I’m not moving out of state… I’m not even moving out of the county.”
We are both well aware of where Carruthersville is.
It isn’t far, but it’s not convenient. It’s not an easy drive, especially for someone busy with ranch work.
People around here tend to only go into the city when necessary.
So, while it wouldn’t count as long-distance, it wouldn’t be easy to keep seeing each other. If that’s even what we decided to do.
“Why don’t we just see where this takes us?” he suggests.
“I don’t like sneaking around, but I’d rather people not know about us. Especially since this might only be temporary. No need to ruin your friendship with my dad when you’ll be here and I won’t.”
Nodding, he leans closer and tucks a stray lock of hair behind my ear.
He pulls me close, and together we sit and watch for Sierra’s lesson to finish up.
I’m okay with the silence. There are still plenty of unspoken words between us, but I like his idea.
We can just see where this thing goes. If we want to get serious, we can.
But for now, we’ll just continue to live life and see what happens.