Chapter 36
Miranda
My eyelids flutter open as bright sunlight shines on my face. As soon as my eyes focus, I momentarily stiffen. It’s too bright out to be early morning. The plan wasn’t to sleep in. The plan wasn’t to be here in the first place before my mother decided to meddle during the reception.
“Morning, sweetheart.”
Hayden kisses my shoulder, and I find myself snuggling against him, melting into his touch when he tightens his arms around me. “Good morning. What time is it?”
A laugh rumbles through his chest. “Got somewhere to be?”
I turn to face him and feel a spark of heat when I look at his messy hair and the extra scruff on his jaw. Hayden always looks good, but seeing him when he first wakes up does something for me. I think it’s knowing I’m the only one who gets to see this version of him…
“I wanted to get home before anyone notices my truck isn’t at my house.”
Hayden gifts me with a sleepy smile. “That wouldn’t be the worst thing in the world, would it? You’re twenty-six years old. Certainly, you’re allowed to come and go as you please. Come on. I won’t kidnap you, but let me at least fix you breakfast before you leave.”
I watch as he stands from the bed, wearing nothing but a pair of boxer briefs.
Once again, there’s no reason anyone should look this good.
I can’t take my eyes off him. The muscles of his back move and flex as he digs through his dresser drawers.
All I can do is grin when he turns around to toss me a shirt and catches me ogling.
“Put that on,” he says as he pulls on a pair of sweatpants. “Because if you walk around naked, there’s no way you’ll be leaving this house anytime soon. And even less chance of me cooking breakfast.”
After slipping into his shirt, I follow him to the kitchen and prepare to enjoy the show.
I head toward the kitchen island, but Hayden intercepts me, lifting me and setting me on the counter between the stove and the refrigerator.
I watch quietly as he removes eggs and bacon from the refrigerator and holds up a loaf of bread.
“Eggs, bacon, and toast okay?”
I shrug my shoulders and nod. Any breakfast that I don’t have to make sounds like a good breakfast to me.
This view is much better than what I would have had from the island.
I try not to drool as I watch him move around the stove, and I’m disappointed that it only takes him a few minutes to cook the simple meal.
“Coffee?” he offers. “I keep that on a timer, so help yourself.”
I pour us both a cup before joining him at the island.
The breakfast is delicious. Perfectly cooked eggs, and bacon just the way I like it.
We eat in comfortable silence, and I’m grateful that neither of us feels the need to fill the space with meaningless conversation.
I steal glances at him, once again appreciating this version that most people don’t get.
It’s another first for me. I dated here and there while in college, but no one felt like home.
I never felt like I belonged the way I do in Hayden’s presence.
He doesn’t speak until we’ve finished cleaning up and loading the dishwasher, and I’ve returned to the island for another cup of coffee.
“So, why Carruthersville, other than to get away from me?” Hayden asks.
“I’m not moving to get away from you,” I say with a sigh before meeting his gaze.
“Then why? Why are you still determined to go?”
I heave a sigh before turning in my seat to look directly at him.
“I’ve lived here my entire life. I know it sounds silly, considering most people in this county have lived here their entire lives, but I went to college and got a degree so I could make a difference.
So I could do something besides watch life pass me by. ”
His expression is impassive as he waits for me to continue. I haven’t really spoken about my plans out loud to anyone. They’ve mostly just remained in my head as I argued with myself over my feelings for Hayden.
“I feel like I’m just here. I don’t do anything that matters. I live on my parents’ property and work at the same ranch I’ve been at since I was Sierra’s age.”
“You aren’t happy here.”
Hayden is quiet as he waits for me to respond to his statement, and I allow my mind to drift to the big aspirations I had in college.
I was going to move much further than Carruthersville.
Maybe even New York City to be a journalist. But I found I like living in a small town.
New York may not be the place for me, but I want to do something.
“I’m not unhappy…”
He takes my hand in his larger one and looks at me.
Really looks at me. I’m reminded of how this whole thing started between us.
The sex is beyond amazing, but Hayden is the only man who has ever truly seen me.
I think back to the trip that changed everything.
Even when I was being awful, I was met with kindness and understanding.
Just like now. He isn’t trying to change my mind, only to understand me and my decision.
He tilts his head as he studies me. “But starting over in Carruthersville will make you happy?”
“It’s not the location. I just want a purpose. Maybe work in a library. Or take some editing classes so I can go in that direction with my degree. Something,” I answer with a shrug.
“You’ll figure it out. And fortunately, I have no problem driving back and forth to Carruthersville.” He flashes me a smile that would melt my panties if I were wearing any. “It’s getting late. You’d better get home if you really don’t want your parents to get suspicious.”
My heart sinks at the mention of going home, and I resist the urge to tell him I don’t care if my parents figure it out.
If I only have a few weeks before I move, I don’t want to spend them hiding.
I want to soak up all the time I can with Hayden.
But I don’t say that. It would be selfish to set our worlds on fire, only to walk away like the pile of ashes doesn’t exist.