4. Leona
LEONA
H ow is this happening? And why do I want it so much?
His mouth moves against mine, and something about his kiss unlocks heat deep in my core.
I don’t know if it’s all the adrenaline rushing through my system or something simpler.
I was already drawn to him, even if we were never allowed to speak.
I’ve spent the past year not being able to talk to a single man, much less kiss one while he’s on top of me, moving his body over mine, touching my bare thigh while his tongue probes the inside of my mouth.
I’m on fire, burning for him, crazy and desperate to feel more. If I’m going to be sold, this could be the last chance I ever have to decide for myself what I want. How I want it.
I cling to him, digging my fingers into his shoulders, his back, running them through his silky hair. When he groans into my mouth, I groan back, hungry for more.
Then I groan again, this time because he pulls back. I don’t want him to. I don’t want it to ever stop. It’s like time stands still when he’s kissing me, and that’s what I need. I need time to stop moving. If we could only stay like this forever.
He lifts his head and looks down at me, and it’s like he’s a different person now.
All the hardness and anger in his face and eyes have melted away in the heat of the kiss, and the tenderness now radiating from him makes my breath catch in my throat.
“I am sorry,” he whispers. “I need you to know that. I’m sorry this is happening. ”
“I know.” He couldn’t have kissed me like he did if he didn’t care at least a little. “I’m scared.”
“I know.” But there’s something else, tension running like an invisible thread through his words. The way he clenches his teeth like he’s fighting against something.
And I know what it is when he moves a little and the hardness between us presses against my stomach.
It’s enough to make an idea come to life in my head. Maybe… if I’m not… if I can get him to…
“Will you take my virginity?”
He pushes himself up on his palms, his eyes flying open wide. “What?”
“Please.” I tug at his arms and shoulders, and even in my panic, I can’t help but notice the firm muscles underneath the stiff, scratchy fabric of his shirt.
The basic uniform the men wear around here.
Now I can almost see why. They want to cover us up, so there’s less chance of noticing each other.
They wouldn’t want us to make choices for ourselves and lose control over us.
“We can’t do that.”
“Yes, we can,” I whisper, trembling. He has to; he just has to. Maybe Rebecca won’t want to sell me if I’m not a virgin. I have to try.
Besides… “I don’t want to give it to some guy who bought me,” I choke out. The words are so horrific that they bring tears to my eyes. “I would rather it be somebody I know, at least. Somebody who cares.”
“But we don’t know each other.”
I barely stop short of rolling my eyes. “Elijah. You know what I mean.” I lift my hips a little, enough to brush against his erection, and he closes his eyes while a wave of pleasure washes over his face.
He is truly beautiful. I realize that now I can see him clearly, now that we’re so close.
His finely chiseled features work like he’s fighting against something.
His conscience, his guilt, his fear. Whatever it is, it’s tearing at him.
“I have to go.” When he gets up from the bed, my heart threatens to break.
Sheer desperation makes me cling to him, almost clawing at him. “No, don’t! Please, don’t leave me alone. I can’t be alone.”
His jaw clenches, his nostrils flare, and for a split second, he looks like the Elijah who came to get me out of the cell. Furious and enraged, like he hates me. “What do you want me to do?” he mutters.
“Just stay with me. If you won’t have sex with me, at least stay. There’s no way I’m going to be able to fall asleep alone. That’s all I want. Just don’t force me to be alone.”
He blows out a long sigh before his shoulders drop, and I know I’ve won. “I’m tying you to me.”
“Fine. Whatever you want. Just don’t leave me alone.”
He groans, but that doesn’t stop him from untying one of the ropes attached to the bedframe and using it to bind our ankles together. There’s enough room to turn over if I need to, but not enough to get my foot free.
“Now, try to relax.” He sounds like I’m putting him through torture as he lies down, spooning me. Slowly, he wraps an arm around my waist. I can’t help wishing I could relax and actually enjoy his nearness and warmth. No, my thoughts are racing a million miles an hour instead.
Because he’s still poking me with that thing. He still wants me, no matter how he fights against it. I might be able to get what I need.
The worst thing I can imagine is losing my virginity to a repulsive stranger. I’ve been through a lot, more than I could have imagined when Mom was alive. But I can’t let that happen. I can’t have my only experience be with some pervert who has to pay for it.
“Stop it,” Elijah grunts when I wiggle my ass against him.
“Sorry. I didn’t know I was doing anything. I’m only trying to get comfortable.”
His grunt tells me he doesn’t believe a word of it. “Now, stay still. Don’t make me regret doing this.”
“I won’t.” But even as I say it, I stretch a little, arching my back, driving my ass against him again while groaning softly.
“I said stop.”
“I’m sorry! What do you want me to do? I had to stretch.”
“No. You’re trying to change my mind. Well, you’re not going to. Rebecca knows you’re a virgin. If you’re not a virgin after tonight, she’ll know it was me. I can’t do that.”
The erection probing my ass cheeks says otherwise.
“I only want to be with you,” I whisper, twisting my head around to look into his troubled eyes. “I know I’m not making it easy. But having you here with me like this… it’s the closest to normal I’ve felt since I got here. And kissing you felt real. I just want something that feels real.”
“But we can’t.” There’s not so much conviction in his voice anymore, though. He’s getting weaker with every second.
“Yes, we can. It’s just you and me.”
I let my hand run up the arm draped over me, finally stopping at his shoulder. “Please. Touch me. Let me have this.”
The way he growls is almost enough to make my hair stand on end. “You know what?” To my surprise, he sits up abruptly and unties the knot at my ankle. “You want me so much? Prove it. Prove this isn’t just a way for you to get me all twisted up.”
“What do you want me to do?” I sit up, puzzled, feeling a little guilty that he resents me so much. But there’s no room for that now. I need to think about tomorrow and what happens after the so-called delivery.
“Stand up. Take off your dress. Show me how much you want me.”
I should be repulsed by the idea. By the way he says it, so cold and resentful.
I’m anything but. The heat that was already stirring between my thighs explodes into something strong enough to make me tremble. I can’t pretend something about this doesn’t excite me. Having his eyes on me as I stand up and turn to face him.
He inhales sharply when I lift the dress over my head and toss it on the foot of the bed quickly because, otherwise, I’ll lose my nerve. Reflex makes me fold an arm over my boobs and cover my mound with the other hand. I bite my lip, staring at the floor.
“Show yourself to me.” When I flinch, he growls. “Leona. Show me how much you want me.”
I don’t know if I hate this or if it’s the hottest thing that’s ever happened to anyone, anywhere. Wetness fills my slit, and my nipples go hard as bullets when I force myself to look him in the eye before letting my hands fall to my sides.
He breathes deeply, taking me in with hungry eyes that have gone almost black. “Touch yourself.” The bulge in his pants twitches when he says it. Something about that makes me groan helplessly. He wants me that much. He’s helpless, the way I am.
It’s his bulge I watch while I cup my pussy and drag my middle finger through my wetness. The first touch of what’s already hot and swollen makes me shiver—then gasp when my finger makes contact with the throbbing bundle of nerves threatening to kill me if there’s no relief.
“Lie down.” He makes room for me, his eyes never leaving my body as I stretch out across the bed again. “Show me your pussy. Touch yourself. Make yourself feel good.”
I can’t believe I’m doing this, but then everything happening is unbelievable. All I can do is hold on to the pleasure now making my breath come quick, and my body hum. There’s something so dirty about this, so wrong, but I don’t want to stop. And I want to see how far I can go.
“That’s right,” he whispers, and the sound of it makes me moan. “Show me how much you want it. Prove it to me.”
I plant my feet on the bed and lift my hips, racing to the end.
How many times have I done this alone in my room, holding back my moans the way I’m doing now, working my body into a frenzy?
Only this time, he’s watching. He’s here with me, and the sound of his breathing and his deep, rich voice talking me through it makes everything more intense. Sweeter and hotter.
I’m so close. Almost there…
I gasp in shock when he pulls my hand away, rough, with no explanation.
That is until he plunges his head down and uses his tongue to part my lips and massage my clit.
It’s like I stuck my finger in a socket. White heat explodes in my core, my body tenses, and it’s like fireworks going off in my head as the most intense orgasm of my life slams into me and leaves me shaking, whimpering, and struggling to stay quiet when all I want to do is scream.
But I can’t. It’s too dangerous. All I can do is ride it out until he lifts his head and rolls away from me. I’ve never felt so exposed and vulnerable and alive.
I want more. I need it. The connection and pleasure.
Everything that was kept from me while I was here.
That’s what makes me sit up and unzip his pants before he can say a word.
He’s still hard, and a wet spot has spread across the front of his shorts.
I pull them down and leave his thick, heavy dick to spring free, swaying slightly and glistening at the tip.
“What are you doing?” he finally asks before I take him into my mouth all at once. I’m not sure what I’m doing, and I’m probably fumbling around like an idiot, but I need to make him feel the way he made me feel. I need to give this back to him somehow.
Any worry about not doing it right dissolves at his first soft moan.
“Oh, Leona…” He buries his hands in my hair, holding my head while I bob up and down.
He leaves a salty taste on my tongue when I run it around the mushroom head.
I can’t tell if his strangled groan means I did it right or not.
He’s not stopping me, so it must feel good, so I do it again before taking as much of him into me as I can.
“Just like that.” He’s breathing faster and harder, and his hips jerk while he surges in my mouth. “Don’t stop. Just a little more. Oh, Leona, yes.”
And all at once, he fills my mouth with his cum, one blast after another that hits the back of my throat. I swallow it sloppily but eagerly, almost proud of myself for doing a good job.
When it’s over, I pull back to let him fall from my lips, a soft, tender feeling in my chest. Like now that we’ve been together at our most vulnerable, something deeper than lust has taken root.
He’s breathless, flushed, and his eyes are closed.
He’s even more beautiful in the moonlight spilling over the bed.
How am I supposed to leave him tomorrow?