Chapter 2
Cheyenne
S hame is defined as a painful feeling of humiliation. Did I make a foolish decision? Yes. But I didn’t regret it, and I sure as heck wasn’t humiliated enough to be here in Agatha’s home for troubled girls. The only one who felt shame about what I’d done were my parents.
The Davis family name was one of the more predominant one in South Carolina.
With that name came certain expectations.
Boys hunted, played football, and married a nice girl with a good reputation.
Girls competed in beauty pageants, attended debutant balls, and always had to smile.
So they could be that nice girl the good men would marry.
Getting pregnant at seventeen didn’t fall into that plan, which was why I’d been hidden away.
Now, instead of being the daughter my parents bragged about, I was their dirty little secret.
“Hey.”
I smiled at the familiar brunette struggling to sit down on the grass beside me. “Hi.”
Megan Cooke was the only bright light in this house of the damned.
From the outside this place looked like an oasis.
A beautiful building tucked in the middle of lush trees and flowers.
The kind of place someone might go to escape the chaos of city life.
But the instant Daddy drove me through those gates, I knew better.
A dark cloud didn’t just hang over the plantation house in the center, it followed every girl around in the halls and yard.
There were ten other girls here and not one of them smiled when we were introduced.
That first night I went to bed feeling utterly defeated.
Until I heard someone yelling out in the hall.
The last thing I expected to find in this place was hope.
But when I peeked out in the hall, that’s exactly what I saw.
Megan was wrestling with the head mistress while yelling at the rest of us not to give into their shit.
The determination on her face didn’t fade when two orderly’s drug her away.
It deepened. That was my first introduction to the only friend I had here.
When they let her out two days later, I couldn’t help but talk to her. We’d been attached ever since.
“That crotchety old bag told me I had to cut back on my calories.” The old bag Megan was referring to was Agatha, the stern elderly woman who ran this hell hole. “So, I stole her cookies.”
A snicker escaped my lips when she held up a bag.
“You’re going to get locked up again.”
“We aren’t locked up. We’re given time to reflect on our actions.” Megan snorted and enthusiastically devoured an Oreo.
“Reflection’s not a bad thing.” I’d been doing a lot of that lately.
She rolled her eyes. “Don’t give into their bullshit, Cheyenne. No one wants to reflect that much. If we could be trusted with our own thoughts, than we wouldn’t be here.”
Her gaze dipped down to her round belly and I nodded in agreement.
I thought I could have one night of freedom. One night where I didn’t have to sit up straight and smile. Look where that got me.
“If you think about it,” Megan stuffed another cookie in her mouth. “This is all our parents fault. If it wasn’t for them we could’ve gotten birth control and fucked whoever we wanted.”
“Megan!”
“Oh, don’t blush at me. You know I’m right.”
She did have a point, but…
“I’ve only done it once.” That’s right, I was that girl. The one who got pregnant when she lost her virginity. How embarrassing was that?
“Really?” Megan’s face scrunched up in disbelief.
“Yes really.”
“You’re telling me you spent the night with him and he only fucked you once?”
“Yes, just one time.” I thought.
To be honest I didn’t know what constituted as one time. There were breaks, and he finished a couple of times. I didn’t have a lot of experience. It was one long amazing night.
“Well, that’s boring.”
Boring was the last word I would use.
“At least he’s not a deadbeat.” She muttered and tipped her head back while shaking cookie crumbs from the bag in her open mouth.
I felt bad for Megan. Her baby’s father was her dad’s boss.
At least that’s what she claimed this week.
Last week it was some guy she met on a train, before that it was her teacher.
There was no telling which one, if any, were true.
The only thing I did know for sure was that she didn’t want to talk about whoever got her pregnant.
Most of the other girls were the same. There was no point in talking about them, because they couldn’t or wouldn’t do anything to help. My situation wasn’t the same. If I contacted my baby’s father I would get out of here and he’d go to jail.
There was a reason I refused to tell my parents who got me in ‘trouble’ .
Louis Kessler was a powerful man, which was exactly why Mama and Daddy would go after him.
He was nineteen and I was seventeen, a big no, no in my state.
It wouldn’t matter to anyone that the act happened somewhere else.
And that was exactly what my parents would play on.
What better way to get sympathy than to present your virtuous daughter as the victim.
As much as I wanted to keep my baby, Louis didn’t deserve that. Christ sake the man didn’t even know my real name. I gave him a fake one when we met, and left before he woke up in the morning. He shouldn’t be punished for my decision.
I looked around at my beautiful prison and sighed. “This really is the only choice.”
“Bullshit.” Megan snorted. “There’s always another option. Know what I do when they tell me to ponder my decisions? I think about how Daddy is sitting in his office working at the same desk his best friend fucked me on.”
I shook my head and snickered. “You’re incorrigible.”
Megan frowned down at the empty bag in her hand. “You know what’s incorrigible, the fact that that fat whore is hiding cookies from the rest of us. We’re trying to grow humans here.”
My hand smoothed across my growing belly. Feeling the little kicks from the other side was all I’d get of my baby. In less than two weeks he would become nothing more than a forgotten member of the Davis family.
That was the whole point of this place. To take the unwanted grandchildren of the world and hand them over to someone else.
Nine months of carrying a baby, feeling it grow and move, only so someone could make it disappear in five minutes.
One signature and it was as if none of it happened.
All because our parents were more concerned with their precious reputation than the miracle of life.
But I would never forget him.
That was the silent promise I made when I sat out here under the magnolia trees and imagined what it would be like to hold my son.
Would his eyes glitter like mine when he laughed, or would he be more serious like his father?
I’d never find out the answers to those question, because as much as I hated my parents for what they were doing, I’d go along with what they wanted.
I always did.
“Do you think anyone knows where we are?”
Megan let out a breath and leaned back against the tree next to me. “Apparently I’m at camp.”
Something similar was probably being said about me.
Though my parents would put some spin on it to make themselves look good.
Cheyenne was accepted to an advanced academic program or something along those lines.
After my brother Robbie was paralyzed in a car accident last year, they had to have one brilliant child.
A distinctive chime rang through the air, signaling that it was time to head back in for ‘school’ . Though I’d argue that school wasn’t the right word. Most of our classes consisted of bible quotes that reminded us how we’d damned our souls by opening our legs.
“We should go.” I grunted while struggling to get on my feet.
“And listen to another one of Mrs. Gable’s lectures.” Megan crossed her arms. “No thanks.”
That wasn’t a good idea. The last time we decided to piddle around we were both locked up for three days. The only thing worse than being hidden away by your family, was being trapped alone.
I arched a brow down at my friend and said, “Don and Ruben are working today.”
That made her move. Megan pushed herself up with a loud oof.
I couldn’t blame her. Those two names were enough to snap anyone of us to attention.
The other orderlies weren’t too bad. A few were even nice.
But Don and Ruben… They considered us tainted goods that couldn’t be tainted anymore.
So, when they drug you off to the quiet room, you wouldn’t spend that time alone.
I’d only had the nauseating experience of those two pawing at me once. Megan however, was a regular.
“Fine.” Megan scowled at the building and reluctantly followed me across the yard. “Let’s get this over with.”
As we made our way past the garden and into the house, I couldn’t help but think about the irony of my Sunday school lessons.
Growing up I was taught to look out for the devil’s temptations because he hid behind a mask of beauty and smiles.
To my parents that would be the man who put this baby in my belly.
To me it was this place with its marble flooring and pretty little ornaments. It looked nice.
A beautiful illusion like Mama’s dinner parties.
She’d put on her Sunday finest, lay out her expensive China and walk around pretending she was happy to see everyone.
The truth was that Mama hated most of the people that came.
But that’s what us girls did. We stuffed our pain and misery down our throat and hid it with a sweet smile.
Funny thing was, right now I’d give anything to mingle at one of her parties.
Megan looped her arm in mine and waggled her brows. “Did you get any more letters from that guy?”
“Brett?”
She nodded, “yeah.”
Brett Grace was my parents top choice for a husband, which was probably the only reason they forwarded his letters to me. I thought he was sweet in high school – he was away at college now – but that was about it. Don’t get me wrong Brett was a good man, but he was… boring.
“Not since the last time.”
“Maybe he found out about your scandalous one night stand?”
I rolled my eyes. “My parents like him too much for that.”
“Oh come on.” She chuckled and gave me a teasing nudge. “You never know, he might be fun?”
“Fun isn’t in Brett Grace’s vocabulary.”
“He might surprise you.” Megan argued.
Maybe she was right? Maybe I should give Brett a chance? He did write me every week. If nothing else, he was committed.
I forced myself to smile and pulled Megan walk over the grass. “Why don’t we get through this before I marry myself off.”
She tipped her head to her shoulder in a small shrug, which was a tame reaction. Megan was full of life and sass. The kind of girl my parents would call a bad influence. I expected more of an argument. Maybe she was finally falling in line with the rest of us?
I should’ve known better.
When we rounded the corner into our classroom and Agatha’s cold eyes narrowed in on my friend, my stomach flipped.
“What are you two talking about?”
Before I could stop her, Megan blurted out, “I was just telling Cheyenne that she should give her pen pal a chance.”
Agatha’s next statement only confirmed one of my suspicions.
“I think that’s a wonderful idea.”
She was in league with my parents.
“Right.” Megan tipped her head and smirked back at the woman. “In my experience, it’s usually the reserved ones that really know how to ride a woman.”
Everyone in the room froze as Agatha’s face dropped. I could literally feel the air around us growing denser. And what did Megan do?
She gave Agatha the biggest, sweetest smile and said, “so, what’s on the docket today? The whore of Babylon?”
“That’s it Miss. Cooke.” Without missing a beat, Agatha snapped her fingers, signalling the orderly’s to drag her away.
Before Don and Ruben could pry her off me, Megan leaned in a whispered, “don’t worry, I have a plan.”
The smile she gave me as she was dragged away would forever be burned in my mind.