Chapter 9
W ith those few words, Brute was a different man.
Beyond confused, angry, and hurt, I felt like I was drowning even though my head bobbed above the water.
My mouth went dry. It wasn’t just that he spoke.
It was that I believed, deep down, he never would.
That at times, I thought I was alone, completely alone, and had built him in my head like a fever dream.
For a second, I thought maybe I’d gone mad.
That none of this was real. That I was still lying in the jungle, bleeding out. Alone.
“ What the fucking hell? ”
Brute swam to me.
Part of me wanted to swim away, but I stayed put.
His wet face twisted with confliction before he murmured, his lips barely moving, “I’ve been alone a long time. I thought you were a figment of my imagination. For a while.”
I exploded, “ For a while ! How long?”
“Once I realized you were really with me, every day. Not just some mirage,” he emphasized that word. “A fantasy,” he added. “It seemed too late to explain.”
“Are you going to let me leave now that we aren’t playing anymore?”
Brute’s nostrils flared. “I never said you couldn’t leave.”
“You haven’t said anything.”
“You consented to everything.”
I gasped. “Did I?”
“Of course, you did.”
At his words, I cried so hard that I hiccupped.
“Of course, you can go. God.” He seemed to chide himself. His arms circled me. “Jayne, don’t cry. I’ll take care of you until we’re rescued.”
Raising my head to look into his light eyes, I beat my fists on his vast chest. “Rescued?”
“Yes. And until then we can still enjoy ourselves. Right?” He smirked.
Escaping from his large arms, I couldn’t answer that.
As much as I was mad at him, his voice and words made me find him more realistically attractive.
However, anger gurgled again. “Is that why you pretended to be dumb? So, you could play caveman? Fuck me like that? Take me whenever you felt the urge?”
Brute smiled sideways. “You didn’t complain.”
“Didn’t you listen to me before? There’s a safari camp near here. I could’ve taken us there weeks ago.”
He shook his head like he didn’t believe me. His dreads danced as he spoke. “Jayne, I’ve been lost for… I don’t even know how long… I’ve been all over this jungle and can’t find where it ends.”
“How did you get lost?”
His brow pinched as he rubbed his head. “Plane crash,” he exhaled.
“Five or six of us survived, but I got separated from the others. I’ve seen no sign of them since.
Not even the plane. Once we ran out of supplies, peanuts, and soda, I went off alone searching for food.
” He stroked his temple again. “I don’t remember.
I’ve been alone too long with my own thoughts.
I’m not sure what’s real or speculation on my part. ”
“Maybe you ate them.”
“What?”
“Maybe you ate the others to survive.” I began imagining the worst.
“That’s sick.”
“I’ve told you. I was at a wedding party nearby. I could’ve been home by now if you hadn't been pretending.”
“I wasn’t pretending. And is this about Chris? You want to get back to your Chris.”
“No. I see you listened about my boyfriend but ignored that I could lead us back to civilization.”
“How could I not listen, Jayne? He’s all you ever talk about.”
“You picked up my name but haven’t shared yours.”
Brute scrubbed his forehead yet again. “It sure as hell isn’t Brute, but I don’t….” The man became frustrated. He couldn’t remember his name.
While he struggled, I got out of the water. For a moment, I felt awful. The guy fell from the sky and probably had a head injury. I was being the asshole. That’s until he spoke.
“Brute…” He laughed. “I wasn’t the only one enjoying a fantasy.”
I huffed. “Fantasy?”
“Yeah, Brute kept your pussy wet.”
I blew out my nose like a bull. “If you know the spot you rescued me from, I can get us out of here. This can all be over.”
“Is that what you want?”
“Yes. Fantasy over. I need to get home. Not only to Chris, who will be worried sick. My mom. Margo. For God’s sake, I’m supposed to be back to work soon.”
“Then let’s go. Let’s find this camp you’ve been talking about.”
I insisted on going back to the cave first to dress. Brute didn’t have any clothes anymore.
He explained, “I used them for traps, I think, and for my bed… Hold on.” Under his bed of oversized leaves was a pair of dirty, ripped khakis. The burn marks seemed consistent with a plane crash.
Checking the pockets, he found a wallet. “I don’t think this is me.” He handed it over.
The license read Bram Stevens, who was apparently six foot six and two hundred pounds of muscle, with short blonde hair and blue eyes. Their faces looked identical.
“It’s you, without the long hair.”
Taking it back, he felt his clean-shaven face. “Is that what I look like?” This strange man stared down at Bram in disbelief, and I realized I hadn’t checked out the address or anything else in the wallet.
“Yeah. And how do you shave?”
“My knife. I don’t like the feel of a beard.”
I knew he had a knife. That’s how he gutted the animals. “How did you get a knife on a plane?”
“I don’t know. Maybe I found it like the rope and the pot.”
“Are we ready?” I asked him, wanting to get back to the real world.
Bram tucked his wallet away in the pocket, before he stepped into his pants.
I lead the way. I remembered the direction we came from all this time. But it took the rest of the day to make it back to the clearing.
“This is the spot.” I picked up one red stiletto and wondered about the other. “What were you doing out here?”
“Hunting.”
“So late at night?”
Bram smirked. “I had nothing else to do at night until I found you.”
The reminder of all the sex we had zipped through me. I ignored the longing in the pit of my stomach. Twirling around, I recalled the direction I’d come from.
“This way,” I told Bram, then took off.
He followed me through the thicket. In my anger, I hadn’t remembered how long I’d followed Chris. Therefore, I was relieved when I spotted the bush with the unmistakable tree at dusk.
“There.”
“It’s a tree.”
“I recognize that tree.”
“Trees all look the same, Jayne. Trust me.”
I crossed my arms. “No, that’s where Margo and George got married.”
“You’re imagining things. It happens. Believe me.”
“You went from not talking to mansplaining in the blink of an eye. Come on.” Tugging Bram forward, I led him to the remains of a fire. “See.”
He bent to feel the ashes. I followed suit. They were still warm.
“Had to be another wedding party here tonight. We probably just missed them.”
His expression was hard. “I don’t see any of the lavish quarters you spoke of.”
Blowing out a breath, I started to argue but then thought better.
I supposed he was upset I quickly found the way out of the jungle when he couldn’t.
I softened. “Of course not. We took Jeeps to get here. It took twenty minutes. The camp’s probably still pretty far off.
Honestly, I didn’t pay attention on the ride. ”
“We can follow the tracks. In the morning.”
Bram rekindled the fire. We sat beside it, both of us dressed for once.
“You can lay on me,” he offered.
“Nah.”
“You went from spreading your legs for Brute to a cold fish in the blink of an eye,” Bram mocked my earlier comment.
“You’re awful quick-witted for someone who couldn’t talk this morning. Oh, the only thing you can say is come… I should have known what you were after…” We sat in silence until I had to know. “When did you realize I was real?”
Bram turned to me. I refused to look at him as he spoke. “I started to when you first fought me. But it took days of you being there.”
“Why didn’t you say something when you realized? I mean except saying come?”
“I wanted to, but I hadn’t spoken much in a long time. You’re lucky I was asking for your consent.”
Finally, I turned to him. “Lucky… that you didn’t rape me? You seem to talk just fine, now. Lots of words... And how did you know I wasn’t just scared into submitting? I mean if I had sex with you under false pretenses how was it not rape?”
“Rape?” Bram shouted, like it was ridiculous.
“You wanted it. That much was clear. And I wasn’t even sure you were real…
” Then he hung his head in his hands. “I practiced speaking every day when I left the cave. I listened to you ramble on every night and something clicked. Once I got it right, I didn’t know how to tell you. When to tell you.”
“You lied to me.”
He huffed. “You assumed.”
“I had sex with you,” I barked.
“You loved it as much as I did.”
“No. I didn’t,” I lied. “I would’ve never let you do anal.”
“You really think it’s that easy?” Bram muttered, not quite meeting my eyes.
“I think you’re a liar.”
“Maybe I am. Maybe I’ve been lying to myself. Because if I wanted to be found, Jayne, I would’ve found a way out by now.”
I stared at him, heart dropping. “You lied to me.”
“No,” he said too quickly. “Maybe I just… didn’t want to leave. Not once I had you.”
We slept apart for the first time in weeks.
I laid there staring at the dark sky, thinking about air conditioning and toothbrushes and iced coffee.
But the thought didn’t excite me. I didn’t want to answer questions.
I didn’t want to talk to anyone. I didn’t want to go back to being invisible.
With Bram, I was everything. Desired. Needed.
Claimed. Maybe captivity wasn’t a cage after all.
Maybe it was the first place I’d ever belonged.
The next morning, we didn’t talk about our fight. Bram found the tire tracks. We spent a few hours following them until we spotted the remote resort.
“Fancy,” Bram remarked. “I wonder if Chris is waiting for you. Are you just going to go back to him?”
I wondered too.