Pussy Power Group Chat
Daphne
You’re all invited to a barbecue at my house this weekend. Rules of conduct to follow.
Mellie
We’ll be there, but why the fuck do we need rules?
Daphne
Because I know you.
Mellie
Set one person’s hair on fire and suddenly you’re in time out.
Lacey
We all know it’s been more than one.
Mellie
Nope, just one.
Kai
If you’re only counting this month, sure.
Mellie
…
Maverick
*screenshot of him adding $200 to the bail fund*
Mellie
Much appreciated, big brother. Keep it coming.
Maverick
We could afford an alpaca farm if you kept yourself out of trouble.
Mellie
Alpacas spit.
Maverick
I’m pretty sure that’s llamas.
Mellie
I’m pretty sure anything related to camels spit, Mav. The internet said so.
Lacey
Can we focus? Daphne’s going to let us meet her pack.
Daphne
They’re not the only ones you’re going to meet.
Mellie
Please let it be a hot mechanic. I’ve got a thing for blue collar guys.
Lacey, Kai and Daphne
We know.
Daphne
You cannot breathe a word of this to anyone. She takes her privacy SO seriously.
Lacey
Uh, hello. Anonymous audio erotica star over here. Big fan of privacy.
Daphne
Travina Bellencourt and her pack are coming.
*Five minutes of silence*
Daphne
Um, hello?
Maverick
Sorry. Mellie screamed. When she didn’t answer, Kai broke the door down.
Everyone’s fine, but the neighbor heard. He didn’t care, but I had to talk his friend out of calling the cops.
Mellie
I AM NOT OKAY. TRAVINA FUCKING BELLENCOURT IS COMING TO DINNER AND I DON’T KNOW WHAT TO WEAAARRRRRRRR.
Daphne
Might I suggest clothes?
Mellie
Fuck you, Daph. This is serious.
Daphne
Yes, I know. I just spent an entire afternoon with her.
She just wants to be normal. Have friends. I think we could be good for her.
Kai
Or corrupt her until her pack blames us for their misfortune.
Mellie
I’m down with whatever.
Lacey
You really think she’s lonely?
Daphne
Definitely.
Lacey
Then we’ll be on our best behavior. Right, Mellie?
*Silence*
Kai
If you don’t stop screaming, I’m going to kick down every fucking door in your place.
Maverick
*puts more money in the bail fund* We’re going to need this.