Chapter 22 #4
I clear my throat, pulling at the frayed threads of my nonexistent courage and willing myself not to look away.
The sunset highlights the golden flecks in his eyes and I can feel all of my self-control slipping away piece by piece.
It’s taking everything I have not to give into temptation and lose myself in him right here.
But anyone could walk by, and I’m not that reckless.
I lick my lips and his eyes immediately drop to my mouth.
“Hey, Wesley,” I whisper.
He releases a frustrated groan that sounds almost like a growl before tearing his eyes away and running his hands through his hair. I can’t hide the satisfaction of knowing I affect him just as much as he does me.
“Don’t go,” Wesley says, looking at me again.
My eyebrows pull together. “What do you mean?”
“Tonight. Lucky’s. Don’t go.” His voice is soft, almost pleading.
“Why?”
“Stay here.”
“I—”
The sound of a truck pulling up interrupts us. I give my best attempt to calm my racing heart, feeling the implication of Wesley’s words.
Stay here.
A small, reckless part of me wishes he meant stay at the ranch—not just skip Lucky’s. Stay, instead of getting on that return flight.
But that would be insane.
This is temporary.
We have an expiration date.
It’s not forever.
“You guys done for the day?” Emmett asks, resting his forearm on the edge of the rolled-down window.
“Yeah,” Wesley calls back. “We just wrapped up.”
“Want a ride back to the house?”
Wesley looks over at me like he’s trying to gauge my thoughts. “Yeah, sure,” he says, running his hand through his hair again before pulling his hat back on.
We slowly walk side by side to the truck.
“C’mon, put some pep in your step!” Emmett hollers. “Lyd is already at the house waiting for us.”
I reach for the door handle but Wesley gets there first, pulling it open and gesturing for me to get in. I’m about to hoist myself up when his hand settles on my waist, stopping me.
“Please stay here with me tonight.” His voice vibrates low in my ear and sends a chill across my skin. I can’t help the way my body responds to him. Folding my lips between my teeth, I give him a small nod before climbing into the truck and scooting all the way in to make room for him.
Emmett turns in his seat, eyebrows pulled together as he looks back at both of us. “That’s weird.”
“What?” I blurt, glancing at Wesley before looking back at his brother. “Nothing is weird.”
A completely rational response.
“Riiiiight,” Emmett replies, placating me, before looking directly at Wesley. “Why are you in the back seat?”
Wesley shrugs. “I don’t know. I just got in the truck. Didn’t realize you had assigned seats. Why does it matter?”
I drop my eyes to my lap, knowing my poker face is nonexistent. I might as well have I’m hooking up with your brother written across my fucking forehead.
A beat passes before Emmett blows out a deep breath and faces forward again, pulling back onto the path leading to the house.
What is wrong with me? My heart feels like it’s going to rip right through my chest, but I peek over at Wesley anyway.
His jaw is tight and his hand is flexing over his thigh, like he’s fighting some internal battle.
I wish I could reach out and pull him from his thoughts, but if Emmett saw, it would for sure look weird.
The change in our relationship dynamic is completely under the radar, and it has to stay that way.
I’m not even sure how we got to this point, but I would be lying if I said I wasn’t looking forward to bailing on going out with everyone to stay back and enjoy the benefits of my new friendship with him.
“Hey, Em?” I say, clearing my throat. “I’m going to need your help running interference with Lyd when we get back.”
Emmett’s eyes meet mine through the rearview mirror. “How so?”
“I’m not feeling up to going out tonight. I was helping Landon all day and I’m exhausted.” I add on a yawn to really sell it.
“I don’t know, Sades. You know how she is.”
“I do, and that’s exactly why I need you to help me. You’re like the Lydia whisperer. She’ll listen to you.” He sighs, shaking his head. “Or there’s always bribery. Do you have something she wants?”
Emmett jerks, coughing as his eyes fly wide. Wesley chuckles beside me, adding on, “Yeah, Emmy. Do you have something Lydia wants?” His tone is mocking.
“You can shut the fuck up,” Emmett snaps at Wesley before looking at me. “I got you. I’ll figure something out.”
He throws the gear into park right in front of a waiting Lydia, who’s sitting on the porch steps.
“Thanks, Em. You’re the best,” I say, pressing a kiss to his cheek before slipping out of the truck and making a beeline for the front door. Lydia holds her hands out, turning herself into a human barricade between me and the door.
“Hold your horses. What’s wrong?” Her voice is soft, edged with concern.
“What? Oh, nothing. I’m just, um, tired,” I say, stumbling over my words. “I’m going to bed early. I can’t do another night of staying out late.”
“Booo! Don’t be lame, grandma,” she pouts.
I scan the surroundings, searching for my white knight to distract Lyd, only to come up empty. He’s probably still in the truck queuing up his pregame playlist.
“I’m younger than you, Lyd, so that would make you a grandma too.”
“Ugh, whatever. I need you to come with us. I don’t want to be the only girl.”
“Oh, I’m glad to hear it’s my charming personality and pleasant company that you desire,” I shoot back, laughing.
“You know what I mean. You’re my best friend. I want you there with me.”
“What? I thought I was your best friend,” Emmett interjects, walking up and clutching his chest right over his heart.
Lydia rolls her eyes. “You are, but it’s different.”
“Uh-uh. That’s not how it works. You can only have one best friend,” Emmett says, resting his hands on his hips. “You have to pick. Sadie or me.”
“You’re being silly.”
“I’m being dead serious.”
Lydia scoffs. “Okay, who’s your best friend, then?”
“You,” Emmett answers without a second thought.
“Your brother is right there,” Lydia says, pointing at Wesley. “You’re gonna hurt his feelings.”
“It’s fine. Landon is my best friend,” Wesley says matter-of-factly as he moves around us and heads inside.
“I don’t want to play this game, Emmett. I don’t want to choose,” Lydia whines.
“I think you can have more than one. I’ve always said Mia and Tori are my best friends, and now I have you too,” I offer with a smile.
“HA!” she exclaims, causing me to almost jump out of my skin. “I told you you can have more than one. It’s not my fault you don’t want to expand your friendship umbrella.”
“Why would I keep looking when I already found the best?” Emmett says quietly.
“You’re so dramatic,” Lydia taunts, turning back to me. “You’re sure you don’t want to come with us?”
Emmett hops back into his truck, the bass thumping hard through the speakers, even with all the windows rolled up.
I give her a small smile and nod. “I’m sure. Next time I’ll be there, I promise.”
She holds up her pinky and interlocks it with mine. “Deal.”
As I head inside, I hear Lyd giggle when she climbs into the passenger seat of the truck. No matter how much they bicker, it seems like they’re never actually mad at each other.
Walking up the stairs, I quickly text Mia and Tori.
I can’t believe you guys will actually be here in less than a week. I miss you both so much!
I include a selfie of me and Monty for the full effect. A reply comes back almost immediately.
Mia
OMG. You’re like a full-blown cowgirl now!!
Hardly.
Tori
I want to see the cowboys on the menu please
Mia
Ew.
There are NO cowboys on the menu. I already told you the rule. Absolutely NO fraternizing with the guys who work here.
Tori
You’re no fun.
I didn’t make the rules, Tor.
She replies to my text with a thumbs-down emoji, and Mia sends a gif of a cringe face. I’m turning the doorknob when Wesley’s voice breaks through my texting bubble.
“Do you smile like that when you text me, too?”
I roll my eyes, pushing open my bedroom door. “You wish.”
He’s leaning against the frame of his open door, arms crossed over his broad chest, hair still wet from his shower.
“I wish for a lot of things,” he murmurs, voice low, before pushing off his doorframe and closing the short distance between us. Something dark and hungry flickers in his eyes as he guides me back into my room.
“What are you doing?” I whisper-shout, gaping at him.
“Relax,” he drawls, making himself comfortable on my bed. “My dad is in the kitchen and everyone else is gone.”
“I don’t want you to get in trouble,” I say softly.
“I think we’re well past that point.”
I shift on my feet uncomfortably, pressing my lips between my teeth, not sure what to say. I know if anyone found out about our pact, he would be the one to get in trouble.
In a few weeks, I leave, and he’ll still be here facing the consequences. It wouldn’t be fair. I’m starting to think he might actually be insane to have agreed to my asinine plan in the first place.
Realizing several minutes have passed with us just staring at each other, I hike my thumb over my shoulder, gesturing to the bathroom behind me.
“Well, I’m going to shower now. I feel like I’m caked in layers of sweat and horse shit.”
Wesley laughs, but his eyes stay locked on me as I slowly back into the bathroom.
Finally having the barrier of the door, I exhale a shaky breath before turning on the water to warm up. I spin to face the mirror and my eyes widen in horror as I take in my appearance for the first time since this morning.
My bun is now a rat’s nest, and my skin is streaked with dirt, sweat, maybe even actual shit.
Earlier it was a joke—now it’s a horrifying reality.
My cheeks and nose are tinted pink from the sun and roughly thirteen new freckles dot my face.
But somehow, I feel more like me than I think I ever have.
I feel like the person I want to be.
Stripping out of my dirty clothes, I take the fastest shower I’ve had since I’ve been here.
Once I’ve been thoroughly scrubbed and rinsed, I turn off the water and wrap myself in a plush, oversized bath towel. I’m about to open the door when I freeze, remembering that Wesley is currently spread across my bed.
He’s seen me in a towel before. Hell, he’s seen almost all of me. But my pulse still stumbles at the thought of walking out there like it’s nothing. I wish I could pretend this isn’t a big deal—but it is.
Before coming here, I’d only ever kissed Kolson, and kissing him never felt like how it feels when I’m kissing Wesley. Not even close. I’m one hundred percent out of my comfort zone, but when I’m with him, I don’t feel uncomfortable. It’s indescribable.
I feel alive.
Taking a deep breath, I count three full Mississippis before I exhale and finally open the door.
Wesley’s still lying on my bed, one arm tucked under his head, the other holding his phone and resting it on his chest as he scrolls.
His eyes flick up to me standing awkwardly in the threshold of the bathroom. I straighten my spine and hold my head up as I pull clothes from the dresser.
Fake it till you make it, right?
Wesley clears his throat. “Dress warm.”
My muscles stiffen but I don’t turn to look at him. “Why?”
“Because it gets chilly once the sun sets, and I want to show you something.”
“Does this something have anything to do with why you asked me not to go out tonight?” I ask, making the mistake of glancing at him over my shoulder.
His eyes roam over me, taking in every single detail before they crawl back up my body to meet mine. My skin feels like it is on fire beneath his gaze, but I nod and pull out an oversized crewneck sweater and leggings.
“I’m going to get dressed,” I announce, turning to face him. I clutch my clothes to my chest and grip the towel tightly around me.
“Okay,” Wesley replies, smirking.
I blink, glancing toward the bathroom before dropping my eyes to the clothes in my hands, weighing my options. I could get dressed in the bathroom. Clearly, he’s not going anywhere.
Does he want me to do it right here in front of him? I’m probably overthinking this entire thing.
It’s not a big deal. He’s seen most of me before. He’ll see more of me when we eventually have sex, if he ever lets us get to that point.
I swallow hard, summon what courage I have left, and let the towel fall.