Chapter 28 #2
Every moment together is stolen. A hidden secret tucked into the long, busy days. But I would spend the rest of my life tiptoeing into his room for a taste of the way he makes me feel.
He strolls in as I’m getting started on barn chores, handing me the list of horses that need to be pulled for the day. We try our best to be professional, but before I can even finish looking it over, he’s pressing me against the wall, undoing me in seconds.
My shorts and panties slip down around my ankles, and his mouth is on me in record timing. He lifts me, his hands holding me firmly as he hooks one of my legs over his shoulder, anchoring me there.
“Wesley—” I gasp, his name slipping out before I can stop it.
“Fuck…Sadie.” His fingers bite into my thighs, his voice rough against my skin. “You gotta be quiet for me, baby.”
He pulls me open with his thumbs, dragging his mouth over me again, groaning into me. Then he looks up at me, his eyes wild, like he can’t believe what he’s doing.
“I could eat you like this and revel in you moaning my name all morning. But right now you have to be quiet, or someone will hear us.”
He devours me like he’s starving and I’m the only thing that can satisfy him. My fingers knot in his hair, tugging, pulling him closer even though he’s already everywhere I need him to be. The scrape of stubble, the press of his tongue—it’s too much, not enough, everything all at once.
When it’s like this, when his mouth moves over me with that single-minded intensity, he gives me exactly what I asked for.
He makes me forget.
Forget the rules. Forget the risk. Forget the ache in my chest every time I remember those three words.
He makes me weightless, burning, broken in his hands—and for those moments, it feels like enough.
But still, every night I lie awake, his arms heavy around me, thinking about what I said. This is what love is supposed to feel like, right? So why can’t he say it back?
How can he keep fucking me, knowing how deeply I feel for him?
I shake the thought away, forcing myself to focus on the day ahead.
I try to lead trail rides as much as I can—anything to stay busy, anything to keep my mind off him—but today’s group is small, and they specifically requested Wesley as their guide.
It’s not an unusual request, so I didn’t think twice about it.
I’m finishing up my last stall when I overhear them getting ready, and I can’t fight the urge to go to him. I hastily brush hay off my shorts and check for any stray manure on my boots, telling myself I’m only saying hi and checking to see if he needs help.
But I know that’s a lie.
The truth is, I miss him. Even after a few hours apart, I ache for him.
I find him right away.
He’s laughing, not his usual low, sarcastic chuckle, but a wide, unguarded grin. The kind that crinkles the corners of his eyes and makes my stomach flip.
Only this time, it’s not for me.
There’s a girl standing too close. Dark curly hair, smooth golden-brown skin, and a bright, flirty laugh that cuts straight through me.
Her hand rests on his arm. Not casual. Not friendly. Intimate. Her thumb pressing into his skin.
I freeze. My body flares hot all at once. Cheeks, chest, and fists ignite in a burning inferno. That awful, twisting blaze of jealousy creeps up my throat, tightening my muscles and making my palms tingle.
Except this time, I don’t get to be mad. Not really. Not after the fight we had when Wesley thought I was flirting with someone else.
But this is different. They’re touching. Standing so close it hurts to look.
I must be staring because Emmett steps up beside me and bumps my shoulder.
“You okay?” he asks, eyes flicking over to where Wesley is, like he already knows.
“Oh yeah, I’m great.” My voice comes out flat.
“Don’t worry about her,” he says. “Wes made that mistake once, but he’s not dumb enough to do it again.”
I blink. “What?”
Emmett snorts. “Oh. You didn’t know?” He glances at me, then shrugs.
“They’re the reason Dad made the no-fraternizing rule.
Samira’s dad caught them having sex a few summers ago when they were teenagers, and he freaked the fuck out.
Wesley had to do shit work for an extra year or something to earn Dad’s respect again. ”
My vision blurs, my heart thudding like I just ran a marathon. No, I didn’t know. He never told me. Nobody did.
After everything I’ve shared with him, this is what he chooses to keep hidden?
“Not sure why I’d care who Wesley is sleeping with,” I say, shrugging. “But you’re right. He would be an idiot to make that mistake twice.”
I don’t go to dinner. I can’t.
I’ve been lying in bed for hours, wrapped in my favorite quilt, staring at the ceiling. The walls feel too quiet, too heavy.
There’s a soft knock on my door. Not just any knock—our knock. Two quick taps, a pause, then a thump.
I don’t move, remaining curled under the covers as the door creaks open and he slips inside.
For the first time, my heart doesn’t race at the sight of him.
“It’s over,” I say. My voice is hollow but steady.
Wesley freezes. “What?”
“I don’t want to be another mistake for you,” I say. “It’s better if we end it now.”
His brows knit together, confusion etched in his eyes. “Sadie, what are you talking about?”
“Emmett told me why your dad made the rule.”
He exhales hard, muttering, “Motherfucker.”
“And I saw you with her today.”
His head snaps up. “You came out?”
“It’s over, Wesley.” My voice wavers as I move to sit up, my hands clenching the quilt.
He steps closer. “No—Sadie, listen to me. Nothing is going on with her. We hooked up one summer, years ago. We were kids. I haven’t even talked to her since then.
Her family just showed up and she was catching me up—telling me about her fiancé, who couldn’t come on the trip.
I swear, that’s all it was. You’re it for me. Okay? You’re it.”
I shake my head, my throat closing.
How can I be it for him if he doesn’t love me back? How can he look at me like that, touch me like that, and still not be able to say those three stupid words?
“You lied to me.” My voice is raw and broken. I can barely look at him.
“I didn’t lie,” he says quickly, the muscle in his jaw twitching. “I just…didn’t fully explain.”
I laugh, sharp and bitter. “Are you kidding? Wesley, you were caught having sex with a guest, and that’s the reason your dad made the rule. You had so many opportunities to tell me everything, the whole truth, and you didn’t.”
“I was embarrassed. I didn’t want you to think this was anything like that.” He sighs, dragging his hand down his face. “I…I don’t do hookups. I never have.”
I turn to him, swallowing the lump in my throat. “That’s bullshit.”
“It’s not.”
“Emmett has complained nonstop about how you haven’t hooked up all summer, that you desperately needed to get laid so you would stop being so cranky.”
“I’m going to fucking kill him,” he mutters under his breath, running a frustrated hand through his hair. “If I tell you something, can you promise it stays between us?”
I choke on a sob. “I think I’ve proven I can keep a secret, Wesley.”
“I used to do this thing. At Lucky’s, I’d offer to give tourists a ride back to their hotel or Airbnb in town.
They were usually girls, and when I came back a few hours later, the guys would come up with their own assumptions and I never corrected them.
But I swear to you, I never—ever—hooked up with any of them.
I only gave them a ride. Every single time. ”
I stare at him. “Every single time?”
He nods. “Every. Single. Time.”
“Why?”
“I don’t know.” He shrugs. “I dated a few girls in high school, but nothing too serious. Samira is the last girl I was ever with. We were seventeen and lost our virginities together. We snuck around a few times and one night, her dad caught us. That was it.”
I wrap the quilt tighter around my body, hating how much I want to believe him. “Why did you feel like you couldn’t tell me that?”
“I wanted to,” he says softly, his voice breaking in a way that makes my chest ache. “I just…didn’t know how. I thought if I told you, you’d see me differently. I didn’t want you to think I was using you. That this didn’t mean something to me.”
I blink away tears, shaking my head. “I thought you felt the same way I did.”
He reaches for me. “I do. This…what we have? This isn’t the same. Not even close. I meant what I said—you’re it, Sadie. You’ve always been it. I don’t want casual. You are the only one I’ve ever wanted. You’re the only one I’ll ever—”
“No.” I pull away from him, my heart racing as I try to process everything. “No, you don’t get to do that. You don’t get to come in here and say all the right things and expect me to forgive you.”
“Sadie—”
“No.” I put up my hand. “I can’t do this anymore.”
He swallows, his jaw tight, eyes glassy and soft as he nods. “Okay.”
I stand abruptly, my heart in my throat, every pulse a reminder that this was supposed to be simple, but it never really was.
Tears streak down my cheeks as I walk to the door, holding it open for him as he backs out of my room and into the hallway.
“I’m sorry,” he whispers softly.
“Me too.”