Chapter 10
KWAMé
“Why are you so mean sometimes?” I asked Adrian.
He’d been extra crabby with everyone because he was leaving for school tomorrow.
The stress of it all laid in his eyes. I didn’t want to believe that some of his irritation stemmed from him leaving me and Jessie.
He invited me to dinner at his place and promised to keep his hands to himself.
So, I was here to appease him even though his attitude was on ten.
Across the dinner table, Adrian frowned. “As opposed to being nice? If niggas think I’m nice, they get tempted to try some dumb shit. Then, I’ma have to kill ‘em. I prefer to give niggas the chance to leave me the fuck alone.”
“So, you’ve always been this way?”
“I’m a Bell, baby. Pick out one of my family members who gives play wit’ me energy.”
After a full minute passed, I was stumped.
“Exactly,” he mumbled. “It’s not easy belonging to a family who has the power we have. We’re always a target even when shit seems quiet. Nice makes niggas comfortable. I don’t ever want a nigga or a bitch to be comfortable around me.”
“What makes you want to be nice to me?”
He frowned. “You ain’t a nigga or a bitch. You my girl, and if anybody fuck wit’ you, I got a pit deeper than a black hole ready for ‘em.”
“Hush,” I chided. “You’re not killing anyone because of me.”
“Shiittt… You don’t know me very well, do you, baby?”
I glanced at him as he cut into his steak. The frown remained. Not a hint of humor laid in truth behind his eyes.
“Adrian?”
“Yeah, lil’ mama.”
“I’m not your girl—”
“Not you finna fuck up the mood by makin’ me live in reality.”
Waking up without Adrian beside me was a feeling I hated.
Especially because there would be many days like this.
Come August, he’d be knee deep in his rotations.
Life would be so boring without him near.
He was so thoughtful, sweet, and funny as hell.
I was going to miss that every day. Nevertheless, I was stuck to him like glue and would see him through every single day of the rest of his journey to becoming a doctor.
I wouldn’t be selfish and add more stress to him by pouting about the situation.
Relief washed through me, recalling that I’d confessed my trauma to Adrian. At first, I thought he would blame me, or worse, not believe me. He listened, though, and held me until I was all cried out. I fell asleep with his whispered decrees floating around in my head.
Getting out of bed, I was heading for the bathroom when something on the television caught my attention.
A picture of Damon was on the screen. I thought to walk past until a video appeared on the screen, showing yellow tape in front of a large mansion.
My heart stopped inside my chest as I grabbed the remote, rewound the newsclip, pressed play, and turned the television up. My fingers shook as I held the remote.
“…Sad news coming from the NBA. Superstar power-forward, Damon Brooks, was found dead in his home.”
My heart pounded, and I felt light-headed as blood rushed through my ears.
“Around 9 a.m. eastern time, Brooks was discovered by his cleaning service. Details of Brooks’s death aren’t clear at this time. However, authorities do not suspect foul play.”
“Mornin’, baby,” Adrain drawled, startling me.
He stood by the door, quietly observing me.
“You… You…” My voice trembled as I stared at the man who’d confessed his love for me. Slowly, he approached me. The expression on his face gave nothing away. As he stood in front of me, he peered down at me, sighed, then pushed his hands into the pockets of his black joggers.
“I didn’t kill him the way I wanted to,” he revealed.
“He should’ve suffered. I wanted him to think about what he did to you.
I wanted to make him feel as hopeless and powerless as you felt.
I wanted to remove every one of his fingers and wrap them muthafuckas around his throat.
If you ask me, he got off easy as fuck.”
Blinking up at Adrian, the emptiness behind his eyes scared the fuck out of me. I’d never seen him like this before. When his fingers touched my chin, I jumped a little.
His eyes narrowed. “Does my touch scare you now?”
I shook my head. “No, I’m just surprised is all.” This time when his fingers smoothed over my cheek, the love he felt for me soothed the fear away.
“We good?” he asked.
“Of course,” I replied. “I love you.”
His eyes flickered with life, then he smiled. “I love you.”
As crazy as it sounded, Damon made his own bed. The moment he threatened me, he sealed his own fate. I couldn’t be mad at my man for handling business the way he saw fit.
Later that afternoon, Dr. Lewis summoned me to her office.
I was out shopping with Adrian and Jessie, which was a good distraction from the news of the day.
The media was going wild with theories on what happened to Damon.
The NBA world was stunned because the Jets were only two games away from a championship and their star player was deceased.
Adrian pulled up in front of the high-rise building where the Jets’ human resources offices were located. My office was on the seventh floor, two doors down from Dr. Lewis’s.
“I’ma park and wait for you in the lobby,” he told me.
He leaned over the arm rest to kiss me just as Russ opened my door.
Taking a deep breath, I got out and let Russ walk me inside the building and to the elevators.
Once I reached the seventh floor, I went straight to the suite where the medical staff’s offices were located.
Seeing my face made everyone bittersweet. They knew I wasn’t due back until August, yet here I was because someone decided to kill DeAnna. I hugged my colleagues, then went to Dr. Lewis’s office.
I walked inside Dr. Lewis’s office and shot a surreptitious glance at the gentleman sitting across from her desk. He was a dark-skinned man wearing a custom black suit and expensive loafers. I’d never seen him before.
“Thank you for coming by, Kwamé,” Dr. Lewis said. “Have a seat. I want to introduce you to Special Agent Tracy King with the FBI.”
“FBI?” I questioned as I sat down.
Special Agent King nodded. He shook my hand and smiled. “It sounds a bit intimidating, but I come in peace… Well, sort of.”
Dr. Lewis cleared her throat and added, “Special Agent King has some updates on DeAnna’s case.”
“Oh…” My heart started racing. Since Adrian killed Damon, I hoped that nothing would ever trace back to him. Although his death had already alleged there was no foul play, I was still on edge a little bit. I hated it.
“I’ve been over every scenario and looked at all the evidence. I’m convinced that DeAnna was attacked by Damon Brooks.”
My eyes widened.
“Since Damon took the easy way out, there’s no way of finding out if he has more victims. You’ve spent time with him, counseled him… Do you have any hints as to where I should start?” Special Agent King eyed me as if he knew my deep dark secret. That was impossible, though.
I swallowed several times and prayed they couldn’t see the truth behind my eyes. This shit with Damon was coming back to haunt me again, and I wanted to break down and cry because of it.
“Can you give me a second?” I asked them.
“Sure,” they answered in unison.
Stepping out of their office, I rushed down to my office, then closed the door behind me. As tears threatened to spill, I called Adrian.
“Hey, baby. You ready?”
“No,” I replied. “Adrian… What do I do?” I asked him because telling the truth would put us in the investigation’s spotlight.
Keeping quiet just for it to come out later would surely make me and everyone around me look suspicious as hell.
I gave Adrian the information I knew as I paced my office floor.
“Calm down, Sug,” he instructed. “This is what you’re built for. You thrive in crisis, baby. I trust you. I know you trust me. Tell them what you need to. Everything else is not an issue.”
“Are you sure?” I questioned.
“I’m more than sure, baby girl. That’s one thing you never have to worry about. Aight?”
“Okay,” I replied. “I’m scared.”
“No need for that. Matter of fact, I’m on my way up the elevator.”
Relieved, I said, “Okay.”
Sure enough, Adrian came walking into my office just four minutes later. He hugged me, then kissed my lips.
“Where’s Jessie?” I questioned.
“With Russ,” he replied. “I called Dothan. He needs to be privy to the conversation. Is that okay wit’ you?”
“Absolutely. That makes me feel a whole lot better.”
“Aight, let’s go.”
Hand in hand, we walked back to Dr. Lewis’s office. Adrian spoke to Dr. Lewis, then I introduced him to Special Agent Tracy.
Reliving the evening my body was violated caused me so much anxiety and stress that I couldn’t make it through my story without breaking down.
Adrian was right there to soothe me and wipe away my tears.
Dothan was on video call, directing Special Agent Tracy to filter any further questions through him.
“My client wishes to remain anonymous,” Dothan stated but was interrupted by Dr. Lewis.
“You have to go public,” she stated emphatically.
“What?” I looked at Dr. Lewis like she was crazy. “I can’t do that.” It would ruin more than my reputation.
She sighed heavily. “Kwamé, this is deeper than you, now. DeAnna is dead, and so is Damon. Speculations are high right now, and the investigation will uncover shit I’m not even ready to hear.”
“The manner in which DeAnna was killed wasn’t the act of a first offender,” Special Agent King stated. “There are victims out there who may be afraid to come forward, or worse.”
Right, I thought.
“I know it’s hard, and I hate to ask. However, will you think about it?” Dr. Lewis asked.
“Please, just think about it,” Special Agent King intoned.
Dothan chimed in then. “My client will be in touch.”
With that, Adrian and I shook the agent’s hand and bid Dr. Lewis goodbye. I felt like I was up a creek, and the current was too choppy to go anywhere.
That night, I laid on Adrian’s chest with a million thoughts swirling through my head. This headspace I was in wasn’t good for the twins, so I did my best to put the thoughts out of my head. Ten minutes later, I was still obsessing over what to do.
“Listen, mama. I know this ain’t what you wanna do.
As ya man, I’ma stand ten toes down behind you regardless of ya decision.
If you wanna say fuck all ‘em muhfuckas and for every last one of ‘em to mind their business, I fuck wit’ that. On the other hand, if you wanna stand on that stage and speak ya truth, I’ma stand beside you so you don’t fall. It’s all up to you, baby.”
I propped my head back on his chest and sighed. Listening to his strong heartbeat broke through the roar of the erratic heart that beat inside my chest. Adrian was my safe space, my calm in the middle of chaos. He was my stillness with his crazy, mean ass.
“My concern is Jessie. If people find out that she’s Damon’s, it’s going to be messy as hell.” I hated that I had to go through this let alone Jessie. We were both innocent but protecting my baby’s name was paramount.
“We can easily solve that,” Adrian stated.
“How?”
He chuckled and said, “I just put an entire damn ring on ya finger, love. Before summer’s over, remember?”
Surprised, I leaned up again to look into Adrian’s dark brown eyes. He looked at me like I was crazy, so I laughed.
“Everything can be done and sealed. No one will find what they’re lookin’ for. Ever.” He was so sure that I didn’t even doubt him.
It only took a beat to pass before I said, “Let’s do it.”
He kissed my forehead, then tilted my chin back to catch my lips. “As scary as it is, I’m proud of you, baby. Don’t let anyone dictate how ya story is told. If you tell it for the world to hear, then there’s no adding to or taking away. Yeah?”
“Yeah,” I replied.
An hour later, I finally fell asleep. I dreamt about flashing lights, heckles, and dozens of headlines plastered with my name and face. This shit was horrible.
Two days later…
Three weeks ago, Adrian showed up on my doorstep, demanding to be a part of my life.
Since then, I’d received a let’s be together ring, a proposal ring, and now…
a wedding. So much was packed in this past three weeks.
From being banned from spa days to making the sweetest love, three weeks with Adrian seemed like a lifetime.
Where my life began at the farm was where Adrian stood before our closest family members and friends, professing his love for me.
With my baby girl standing by my side, I professed my love to Adrian.
In his absence, he was able to make me fall in love with him.
In his presence, he was capable of continuously reminding me why it was so easy to love him.
His resilience at claiming Jessie as his own was the icing on the cake.
My baby was just as clingy to Adrian as he was to her.
Whenever she wanted his attention, he gave it to her.
At any time she cried, he was there to wipe her tears.
Then, there was his protection of her. He didn’t let her out of his sight. He was her father through and through.
If there was ever a way to my heart, he tapped into all facets, quietly and effectively. That evening, we made love, consummating our union with declarations, affirmations, and promises that would never be broken.
Before addressing the world with the devastation of my past, I sat down with Margarite and laid everything bear. That was the first time I’d ever seen Margarite breakdown. It was crazy how trauma wasn’t always so personal.