Chapter 5
Abigail and Kaden… are together?
My first instinct is to reach for my heart to keep it there in the place it should so I can remain alive. I am afraid if I even breathe, my ribcage will crack open, and my insides will spill out on the floor. I gulp, my throat going dry.
His eyes seek mine. The traitor.
I quickly mask the pain obliterating me. “Don’t keep her waiting.”
Did he go right into Abigail’s arms after he got rid of me? Was that his plan all along? Did he tire of me and not know how to deal with his mess?
“Hi, it’s so nice you’re here.” Bailey reminds me of who I was before: sweet, innocent, and vulnerable. I have become an asshole. What is wrong with being like her, being a genuinely good person? Nothing.
“Let me show you to your room,” she offers, and I walk behind her, looking around. On the left, I see the kitchen with a marble island in the middle. On my right, it’s a spacious, modern, decorated living room in tones of pale gray and white furniture with a big velvet couch where at least ten people can fit and still be comfortable, and a hand-crafted wool rug. Hardwood floors and crystal lights offer a sophisticated touch.
We take the curved stairs, and she points to a door on the right side.
“Mine is right there, and Abigail is next to me. The guys are on the left side of the staircase.”
“Don’t they share a room?” The question unbalances me. The answer will kick me in my already bruised chest.
“No, it’s not like that.” She averts her gaze. I can’t pinpoint my feelings. It’s a mix of simmering anger and bone-deep hurt. Jealousy claws at my chest, ripping through my heart.
Turning the handle, the door opens. My room is spacious and airy, painted in all white, with an en suite bathroom and adjoined dressing room. The blue curtains and duvet breathe some color in.
“Why did you come back?” she whispers, and I turn my head to her, unsure if I imagined that. “Why would you come back? You had the chance that none of us had.”
Tears glisten in her eyes, and even my incapacitated heart reacts.
I wrap my arms around her, taken aback by her emotional outburst. It’s almost like a compulsion to protect the baby of the family, even though we’re just half a year apart.
“They don’t trust me, right?”
“Grandmother brought you back for a reason. We’re all jittery…”
I nod. “That doesn’t mean we can’t be friends, though?”
Her face radiates hope, and she says, “I’ll leave you to unpack. Welcome home.”
A deep sigh rumbles out of my throat at that word. When she closes the door, I wrap my arms around myself and sigh. “I don’t have a home. I never have.”
My phone pings with a message from Mia.
We’re on our way.
Pulling myself together, I return to the car and get the rest of my stuff. I put my clothes in the dressing room, along with that damn box I carry with me like dead weight. No, like a reminder of my stupidity.
I throw it in the furthest corner, then sweep the room for listening devices but don’t find any. I am not used to doing nothing. Every day was full of lessons. No wonder I had no time for feelings, for unwanted thoughts.
Needing to occupy myself, I tour the college house. I discover an indoor pool, a gym, and a theater room, all in the basement.
Good, that will keep me occupied when I can’t sleep. The first floor is open concept. The kitchen and living room have a perfect view of Eagleton College. The crest of the Family, an eagle with spread wings, holding in its claws a globe, is stamped on the main building entrance door. The founding families named the college after the symbol of freedom. Which is pretty ironic considering we’re in chains. Our house has the best view. All other houses are farther away, behind the college walls.
“Not forgetting our legacy.” A deep voice takes me from my wanderings.
I turn and see Blake. His hair is styled back, reaching his neck, and his eyes are two cold emeralds. There’s a tic in his jaw. “I never envied anyone, but I’m so disappointed in you. What the fuck were you thinking?”
“What happened to you?”
“What happened to everyone after you left? I wish someone would have loved me like that.”
I open my mouth to ask what he is talking about, but he turns, heading up the stairs. The slamming of his door bounces off the walls.
In the kitchen, I prepare myself a ham sandwich when I feel him––my intake of air filling with his presence. I squeeze my eyes shut and force myself to eat.
I am not used to this silence between us.
“Stalking me?” I ask.
“This is my place.”
“Right.”
I turn to him, hating myself and him for needing contact. Did you forget about me, you cold-blooded asshole? Was I nothing to you?
Losing the fight with my emotions, I throw the sandwich at his face. He blinks at me while wiping the mayo running down his chin.
“You threw food at me?”
“Next time, it will be something else.”
With my appetite gone, I sidestep him, but he backs me into the fridge, leaning in. My body buzzes at his nearness. He smears the mayo on my face, showing me how everything I do to him, he will turn on me––dangerous, but so damn exhilarating.
He licks my cheek, and my heart trips over a few beats. No. No. No. I refuse to let him affect me. I shove him off me, wiping at the corners of my mouth.
“Animal.”
His perfectly shaped mouth lowers to my ear. Every inch of me is hyper aware of him. My breath hitches. Goose bumps erupt on my skin. His nearness intoxicates my senses.
“Don’t provoke me unless you want to face the consequences.” That sounds ominous, yet thrilling.
With that, he pushes off me, and I look at him, ready to challenge him.
He licks the finger he painted me with, owning my attention and making heat stir low in my belly. Swallowing hard, I glare at him. His ability to still affect any part of me is truly disconcerting.
“Enjoy the taste. You’re never getting the real one.”
“Hmm, I bet you still taste just like you always have… mine.”
“Delusional much? I’ll never be yours ever again.” I storm past him and shut my door, pacing around.
He’s such an arrogant asshole. I plop on the bed and go through my to-do list when my phone vibrates with a text from Hunter.
We’re here.
I shoot out of bed, looking from behind the curtains. Hunter waves at me from downstairs, his hands in his pockets. Mia is propped on the hood of the silver Audi R8, a book in her hands.
I fly down the stairs with eyes following me outside.
I jump straight into his arms, and he catches me in midair.
“You missed me.”
“Shut up.”
“So that bad, huh?”
Mia closes the book and gets in on our hug. With them, I can let my guard down.
“They’re watching,” he says, and I nod.
“Let’s get inside.”
Mia walks behind us. “You two, focus.”
Easier said than done, but I will be damned if I let my focus slip. He puts his arm around me. Hunter and I desperately need each other to hold on. We’re lost in darkness. My heart has been obliterated. I love him, and that’s why pretending will be easy. Hunter is broken. I am broken: we can’t fix each other, but we’re keeping each other afloat. I guess that’s what best friends do.
Kaden’s eyes pin me in the hallway, and my lungs constrict. Betrayal and anger mix in his.
Abigail shakes her head at me.
Even Bailey sighs but introduces herself. Her eyes linger on Hunter a moment longer, a reddish hue covering her cheeks. He peruses her too. From the glint in his eyes, I know he’s thinking about what he can get from her. It’s no wonder he can’t form attachments.
My other best friend blinks from Kaden to Blake. Mia swallows hard when her eyes connect with Blake’s.
Kaden and Hunter shake hands. Judging by the small twitch in Hunter’s jaw, Kaden is not pleased.
What do I care? He’s nothing to me. Fucking nothing.
Following a round of introductions, an awkward silence descends. I point toward the stairs, and together, Mia, Hunter, and I make our way up.
I lead them to my room, and Hunter immediately hops on the bed and props his back against the headboard.
“Can we talk freely?”
“Yes, I searched the room. It’s clear.”
“Kaden will be a problem.”
Yes, I know.
“The cute redhead is weak.”
I jab my finger in his face. “Do not even think about it.”
“I’m not asking for permission. We have a mission, and I don’t care about casualties. You shouldn’t either.”
His eyes turn icy, and a part of me revolts, but I beat that to a pulp to become the new me.
“You’re right.”
“I wish you could stay at our college house,” Mia says wistfully.
“She can’t.”
“I can’t.” We both say at the same time. As an heir my place is here along with the others.
“Blake will crack,” Mia adds, surprising us both.
I offer a nod. He’s unstable, always dropping hints, brandishing an invisible plea for help.
“You want to work on him, sis?”
“It’s not a matter of want now, is it, brother? Don’t underestimate me. I may not show my strength through violence and scheming like you two. You’re both gorillas. I’m more like a snake. Only one of us will get in unseen.”
“No one is underestimating you,” I say. I try to tell her it’s not about that, but she’s staring at Hunter.
“Give me the keys.”
He throws them at her, and she catches them mid-air.
“Are you going to leave me here?” he asks.
At the door, she says over her shoulder, “It’s not the first time you two have slept in the same bed.”
We look at each other, not understanding what her outburst was about.
“She wants normalcy,” I say when she leaves the room.
“We’re normal.”
I take a seat on the bed, crossing my legs.
“You know we’re messed up.”
“Do you think I don’t know that? We have been professionally trained to sabotage, to conquer, to even kill.”
“For family.”
“For family.” I repeat with agreement.
A heavy silence follows, and he curls and uncurls his hands at his sides. “I need to let off some steam.”
“There’s an indoor pool and a boxing ring.”
His eyes sparkle, and I ask, “What are we betting this time?”
“I’ll tell you when I win.”
The cocky bastard. He’s bigger and has more physical strength, but I have other strengths to counterbalance that.
“Are you sure?”
“Let them see I am not that weak girl.”
“Yes, but we shouldn’t flash them what you can do either.”
“Ugh, fine, let’s go for a swim then.”
“Boring.”
On our way downstairs, he winks at Bailey. She excuses herself quickly, busying herself on her phone.
“I thought you were innocent, but damn, that girl is kept like a precious egg.”
“She’s the baby of the family.”
“I would eat her alive.”
Guilt surges through me, but my family has my loyalties.
“Don’t. She’s innocent.”
“No one in the Family is innocent.”
With that, he enters the kitchen and pours a glass of water.
Today’s events overload my system. This is not how things were supposed to be. Yet this is my reality. Exploring what could have been is for dreamers, not for cynics.
Soft music comes from upstairs, lulling me to follow the sounds. The classic, haunting melody draws me in. I crave the pain to remind myself what he’s capable of––playing me like he plays his instrument and then moving on to someone else.
His door is slightly ajar. Kaden is bent over the piano, his long, elegant fingers flying over the keyboard with ease, playing a melody of loss and grief. An avalanche of memories breaks free. His fingers flex, and even through his shirt, his back muscles are pulled taut like he’s trying to purge something out of his system.
I step inside despite my mind telling me not to. The melody pulls at strings with a direct link to my emotions, of him playing hours on end for me.
It was soothing, now it’s maddening.
“Stop.”
He misses a note but continues. How dare he play that song, the one that made me a babbling mess, the one when I knew in my heart he would forever occupy.
I slap my palm on the piano.
“Stop.”
He slams the piano lid down. My breath whooshes out of me when he grips my waist and plants me on top of the piano. He settles between my thighs. That small friction awakens dormant needs in me.
“What are you doing in my room?”
“That was your desperate attempt to bring me here.”
“And you couldn’t withstand it?”
I clamp my mouth shut.
His fingers glide up my thigh, electrifying me. “Do you tell him the same lies with that pouty mouth of yours?”
I grip his jaw, hating him with every living fiber inside of me.
“I don’t lie to him.”
He spreads me on his piano. At least he stopped playing it. This I can take.
“You came back, fine. Who am I to prevent you from coming back? But you bring him into my house, under my roof? I have some questions, wife.”
“Don’t call me that! Not anymore.” Nothing is sacred to him.
He leans into me. His hands dig into my skin, heating me from within. Such a maddening sensation.
“Do you really want to provoke me?” His voice lowers, and goose bumps pop up on my skin. He plays with my senses as if they were a freaking yo-yo.
He’s hard between my legs, and he moves his hand toward my core slowly. Leisurely. It’s a delicious torment I am incapable of putting a stop to. His fingers brush against my covered slit, and my stomach tightens. A heat wave crashes on me, dragging me into an inferno of need. I am on edge, wanting him to continue, knowing he must stop––helpless.
He curls his hand in my hair, yanking my head back. His breath fans my cheek, searing me.
“You know… when you fucked him, you fucked us.”
His words pour another bucket of misery on me, waking me up. I push at his chest, bile raising.
“You’re one to talk, you damn hypocrite.”
I wrap my arms around myself and storm away. Rummaging through a supply closet in the basement, I find a hammer. Perfect. Holding it between my fingers, I return to Kaden’s room.
“What the fuck are you doing?” he asks with a jerk of his chin, staring from me to the hammer.
Approaching the piano, I lift the hammer above my head.
Let me show you how I felt then, how you make me feel now, how I am still stupid, weak, and pathetic.
I swing again and again, one hit after the other until the piano is a pile of splintered wood, broken keys, and tangled strings. My chest heaves, my arms tremble.
My actions have gathered an audience. Abigail, Blake, Bailey, and Hunter are frozen in the doorway. All four are looking at Kaden, not at me. But all the idiot does is smile.
I throw the hammer on top of the debris although my anger hasn’t diminished at all.
“Celine.” Hunter calls my name with a serious yet gentle tone, calming me down and bringing me back from the pit of despair.
“One piece of advice,” he addresses to Kaden. “Next time, listen to her.” He smirks. “She doesn’t like when things don’t go her way.”
Kaden’s jaw tics while I go to Hunter.
“I can’t be here…”
“Come on, let’s take care of that adrenaline rush. We’ll go for a drive.”
I pull my hair back into a messy bun as we descend the stairs.
“Don’t give me shit tonight, okay?”
“Okay. Piggyback?”
I hop on his back and smile, flying through the entrance door.
We leave the campus grounds in my car, driving for a while. Music blares through the speakers, drowning my thoughts. With every mile, I calm down.
He parks on a hill overlooking Greenville. A familiar sight, yet it feels different now without him by my side.
“We need Kaden distracted, and the way he looks at you… You just ruined his piano and he was grinning.”
That’s because he knows he got to me. Never again.
Why are my promises when it comes to him worth dirt?
“Mia is on Blake. I got Bailey, and you will work on him.”
“What about Abigail?”
“That girl wants things in order, and you’re disrupting that. We shouldn’t underestimate her.”
“They’re together.”
“Ah, that makes you even more pissed.”
“You don’t get it.”
“What? Two girls wanting the same guy? It’s as if you’re narrating my own story.”
I roll my eyes at him. “It’s more than that. She’s… particular about things. I doubt it’s even about him.”
“Perfectionist?”
“My parents were great, but in her case, nothing she ever did was good enough. The Family fucked us all up.”
“You’re quite a badass.”
“I wasn’t back then.”
“Guys protect the people they love. It’s instinct.”
“He kept me weak, and I hate myself for allowing that.”
Hunter turns to me, suddenly intrigued. “So, would you have preferred he treated you differently?”
I was someone else, and back then, everything he did was perfect. It made sense. We made sense.
My silence answers for me.
“Thought so.”
How can I make someone else understand when I can’t do that myself? The girl I wasback then never thought something was off, or that I was dependent on him. I would have blissfully continued living in my bubble. It’s not like the person I’ve become was in my plan, but this version is better equipped for this life. For this family.
Kaden is smart, and by playing that song, he found my weakness. I don’t want a reminder of that girl.
Hunter suppresses a yawn, and I say, “Let’s drive back.”
“Focus on what we have to do.”
“And for that, I need the key to Kaden’s family mansion.”
How can I stay away when every part of the plan involves Kaden?
When Hunter parks the car at the house, I say, “Mia misses England. London was her home.”
He shudders, “That awful misty and mostly foggy place?”
“She’s a romantic.”
“I bet she knows more ways to hide a body than we do. Are you sure she’s reading romance?”
“Oh, yes, I bet you’d like it too, with that perverted mind of yours.”
I kiss him on the cheek and say, “Thank you for coming.”
“Anything for you.”