Chapter 27
I open my eyes and the silence is eerie, as if the ghosts I evoked have accompanied me in the present.
Dr. Camden looks at me with big, incredulous eyes before she snaps out of it.
“Are you okay?”
I push the words out through the lump in my throat. “I was in the laboratory, wasn’t I? They took me there.”
“I’ll inform our fathers,” Hunter says.
Kaden rushes to me. I fist his shirt, crying in his arms.
“It’s okay, I am here. I can’t believe Felix did that. But, Sky, he will pay for it. I swear. Your mom has to be alive.”
“Why are you so sure?”
“Because if my father was capable of love, his love is the selfish kind.”
“We have to save her.”
“We will,” he says with such resolve I believe him.
Hunter disconnects the call and says, “No one is doing anything today, we all need to process what we learned. But Sebastian wants to see you.”
The moment we’re at my father’s house, he has his arms open, but I stay rooted to the spot.
“How could you not tell me?”
“I didn’t want you to be even more traumatized.”
“Why now?”
“I’m sorry.”
Sorry? That’s the best he can offer. Kaden glares at him.
“I told him to tell you the truth,” Cillian says.
“I trusted you.”
“Celine, you’re hurt, but we didn’t know what they did to you. Or if something might trigger you.”
“So what changed?” I ask.
“We’re ready now.”
I inhale and exhale, trying to breathe through the wave of high emotions. Kaden pulls me to his side and the hurt becomes bearable. With him next to me, I can handle anything.
“I hope that you enjoy getting your power back and sitting on your throne, but I am so done after this.”
“Celine.” Both Cillian and my father call for me. I halt and turn to look right into my father’s eyes.
“If Mom’s alive, I’ll paint her the image of the father I have in my memories.”
His eyes glisten, but I walk away.
Kaden pushes a helmet in my direction as I hop on his bike. With pure gentleness, he locks it under my chin.
“You trust me?”
“With my life.”
I desperately want to tell him everything. How I feel, what I think, but he swings his leg over the bike, and I wrap my hands around his torso.
Emotions clog my throat. “I don’t want to be here anymore.”
“Then let’s get the hell away.”
With my head pressed to his back, he speeds away.
He follows the road down the coast until he parks in front of a cliff. As I get off the bike, my feet falter, awkward and unsteady like a deer taking her first steps.
I yank the helmet off, drop to my knees, and scream, falling apart. I scream until my throat dries up. Kaden pushes a bottle of water my way, drops next to me and pulls me to his side. His presence, accompanied by him gently stroking my back, is the balm my wounded insides need.
“It hurts. All these years, I have lived thinking I killed my parents only to discover one is alive but too preoccupied with finding his dead wife. I thought about my mother as his dead wife so as not to hope, or even worse, to find her and she’ll be like…”
“Like your father.”
“He’s not evil, Kaden, he’s just…”
“Lost.”
“And I have been like a kicked, sad puppy wanting his love and his approval for too long. But I am serious. I am so done.”
“Even if we find your mother?”
Seeing how she protected me with her life, her love for me shining through even while blood covered her.
“I owe it to her to save her too.”
“Whatever you want to do, baby.”
“Let’s stay for a while longer.”
The sun sets, painting the sky in oranges, violets, and reds. With every inhale, the haze in my mind clears. I lay my cheek on his shoulder and he caresses my arm in a soothing motion.
“Strangely, I wanted to protect you from that place, and you were the first to experience it.”
“They wiped my memory, but I doubt it could have been any better for you.”
“My father, my own father… I fucking hate him.”
I place my hand on his, my thumb caressing along the knuckles. I won’t allow him to go there.
“You’re nothing like your father. I hope you know that.”
“What makes you so sure?” he asks, voice ringing with doubt, breaking my heart.
“Even if Felix loved my mother, he was selfish and turned into a monster. You sent me away to protect me and you hold on for the others. Really, Kaden. You’re nothing like him.”
He takes my mouth in a long kiss. I straddle his lap, needing more of his body against mine. When our lips part, he brushes his finger on the side of my face. I lean into his soft touch, rejoicing in this peaceful moment.
“You would think after generations, they would learn that this is not the right way.”
“They only care about keeping the legacy going.”
His heart beats strongly under my palm, comforting me, and the silence surrounding us carries a beacon of hope.
I smile and look right into his blue orbits, impossible to pull away from.
“I can’t wait to settle down and escape this corrupt legacy.”
“We will, baby. I promise.”
He pushes himself up with me in his arms. I giggle and snuggle deeper into his body.
“Hmm, I found this sweet little Monchhichi, and as the story goes, if you find one, you keep it for life.”
“Do you now?”
“Yep.”
He kisses the tip of my nose and places me on the bike, a muscle in his jaw ticking.
“I hate limiting our time together.”
Me too.
Kaden throws one leg over the bike, revving up the engine. It purrs under us, a dangerous beast. I place my hands on his ripped abdomen and press my head on his back. I am physically and emotionally exhausted.
He gives my hand a little squeeze. “Do not fall asleep on me.”
He knows me so well. It’s impossible to fall asleep thinking of all the things we’ll do together. Daydreaming beats dreaming in my sleep every damn time.
When we reach the house, we find the group sitting together in the living room around the table, watching the map intently.
“Do you have it?” Kaden asks Blake.
“No, tomorrow.”
Kaden balls his hands at his sides while Blake’s eyes stay on the map.
“Tomorrow. I don’t want to hear any more bullshit excuses.”
Blake gulps down a glass of water, and we all look one more time at the map.
“Now, let’s go to bed. We have a long few days ahead of us.”
He doesn’t say that after this is all over, nothing will be the same. I remember vividly my mother telling my father things don’t always go as planned. I shake my head, shoving the ominous thoughts away.
Mia drags me by the hand toward the kitchen. Abigail follows right behind us.
“So, how was it?” Abi asks.
The girls look at me with sympathy.
“I didn’t cause the accident.”
“Of course you didn’t. Never doubted it,” Mia says.
“Those assholes violating us like this, physically, emotionally, mentally.” Abi’s eyes burn with anger, storming away. I get the impression she went through something much worse than I did.
“Something is wrong,” Mia says as we climb the stairs.
“What?”
“Blake should have gotten the code with no problem.”
“Hey, this situation is making us all paranoid.”
She lets out a deep sigh. “Yes, I hate when feelings hinder rationality.”
“They went through a lot.”
“Well, I doubt any of them were made to believe she killed her parents.”
“What if she’s alive…”
After so many years of captivity, that leaves scars behind. The thought strangles my vocal cords. Mia hugs me, and I hug her back tightly, needing comfort.
I remain alone, deep in my thoughts, when Blake steps inside my room as I peel my shirt off. I cover my chest with my hands.
“Blake, knock.”
“Sorry, but this can’t wait.”
“What is it with you?”
“When Kaden falls asleep, I’ll wait for you in my car.”
“Cryptic much?”
“Celine, this is not a joke.”
Clarity stretches in my head. Blake stopped drinking. His sober side is serious, detached, and even a bit grumpy.
“Fine, I…”
“I know you don’t want to lie, but it’s the only way.”
My heart twists at breaking the promise I made. I swallow the gallon of guilt.
“This better be a life or death situation.”
“It is,” he says, slipping out of my room.
I’m freshly out of the shower when I feel Kaden’s hands glide down my skin.
“What took you so long?” I sound like he makes me, greedy.
“Just checked in with Bailey.”
“She’s great at pretending.”
I turn in his arms, but I can’t keep eye contact. Split between two promises, I have no clue what the MO is for this type of situation.
“What is it?”
“Just tired.”
Yes, dig yourself deeper.Here I am doing something I would hate if he did the same thing.
I will confess later. Now, I just want to feel him inside of me, and forget the world around me for a bit. And he never disappoints.
***
Hyperaware, I watch the door crack open and Blake’s eyes seeking mine.
“Come down,” he says, tiptoeing away.
Damn, I forgot he said to go to him when Kaden falls asleep.
I open my mouth, but the words die on my lips. Kaden’s deep breaths fill my ears. I could wake him and tell him about Blake. Instead, I pull on a pair of jeans and one of Kaden’s shirts, tucking it inside the waistband of my pants and rolling up the sleeves.
I watch Kaden sleeping, his features drawn in peacefulness. He should be. He fucked me long and intense. I love how we can’t get enough of each other.
With a mix of heavy guilt and duty, I close the door behind me, letting him sleep.
Kaden will understand. Blake is family too, and if he needs something, I will be there for him.
I get in Blake’s sleek McLaren.
“I have never seen him be relaxed and an asshole at the same time.”
“I think that’s a part of who he is.”
The atmosphere is light, so maybe we have all been worried for nothing.
“You stopped drinking,” I press.
“I can’t hide anymore. After tomorrow, everything will change anyway.”
His words are ominous, chilling me. He stops in front of the cliff where the secret races take place, but now it’s deserted.
He steps out of the car. I follow him and hop onto the hood. There’s a nervous energy thickening in the air around us. And with every second he remains silent, nerves assault my brain, having my mind spin with all possible scenarios.
“You changed everything. I was protecting them the best I could, but then you came back, offering us all another view of things. We could actually take them down.”
“We will.”
“Yes, but how far would you go, Celine?”
There is something dark in his eyes.
My eyebrows furrow when he says, “Would you betray their trust?”
My heart races, pounding in my ears. I shake my head.
“What did you do?” I whisper.
His eyes move over the cliff. Even with so many stars above, the night does little to hide the gloom veiling him in.
“A choice.”
“That’s not what I asked.”
Blake looks straight ahead. “I was protecting them.”
“You work for them. You’re a mole.”
Incredulity has me pushing myself off the hood, pacing around.
His eyes snap to me, anger blaring in them. “After Abi was initiated, I…”
“You preferred to work for them instead. Really? I thought you had more balls than that.”
“That was the plan, anyway. For me to work for them. But you can’t imagine the things the Family can do. They can fucking track us anywhere. Do you know that? Of course not. I had to know everything they do for us to even stand a chance, but that was not the only reason.”
I push at his chest, but disappointment settles more heavily on my chest than anger. Anger can be productive. You can channel it. Disappointment is just moving past fighting.
“I would have never thought you’d be disloyal.”
Blake doesn’t even flinch at my blow.
“Loyalty is one way. Maybe I am the most loyal among you.”
He’s either delusional or plain insane.
Suddenly, he bursts into laughter that ends hysterically.
“I am also preparing to face my best friend. Kaden won’t look at me the same.”
“And that’s on you. So what is my role, then?”
“Your mother is alive. I’ve met her.”
Everything stops. My brain halts from processing this train of thought. I am reconsidering the whole staying calm and not fighting him.
“You knew this entire time?”
“She’s the one I’ve been working to free. I needed a scapegoat to pull my plan off, and then you came along, offering the perfect cover.”
“Tell me about my mother. Nothing you will say will ever be forgiven. Stop being delusional.”
“Quite harsh, aren’t we?”
His face remains impassive. He doesn’t get sympathy or understanding from me.
“Cassandra’s alive, but…”
“Blake, I’m losing patience here.”
“They have kept her in a drug-induced coma most of the time, but she’s holding up, adapting to what Felix wants her to be.”
Tears brim in my eyes and a scream rips from my throat as I vow to make him pay.
“You allowed that to happen to her?”
“She insisted because they had to see that I am loyal. I did my best.”
“Your best means nothing, fucking nothing. Why didn’t you tell Grandmother?”
“Who would she have believed? Me or them? My father has created serums that could make you lose your mind so easily and make you compliant. He has something for everything you can think of. Felix would rather kill Cassandra than let her go. He has planned to take over for years and only Grandmother is standing in his way. Felix and Caleb are just too well organized. They have at least three plans in place if one small thing goes wrong.”
I bend over, my palms slapping at my knees. My mouth opens, trying to gasp for air. My vision gets blurry. My heartbeats turn irregular.
“I have to go to her.”
He blocks my way and I push him away, but his feet remain planted.
“That’s part of the plan.”
“You have thirty seconds.”
He’s the enemy. Don’t trust him.
“They must catch you in the act—with proof of your disloyalty. Tomorrow, you will tell the group that you have something to do. I’ll inform them when the time is right. In order for our plan to work, we need Felix and Caleb together to blow that whole thing up.” He drags in a lungful of air. “I’m sorry.”
“For what?”
“Because if you thought you knew what pain was, you’re about to get a wake-up call. I will come for you. I swear I will get you out of there. Both of you.”
I shove at his chest but he’s an unmovable stone. “I hate you for this. You just turned me into your accomplice.”
“They’ll forgive you.”
“You don’t fucking get it, do you? We’re family, all of us. What was in your damn mind? We would have found a solution.”
“I don’t expect you to understand.”
I turn my back to him. While I’m on the brink of emotional mayhem, he is the definition of composed.
“Whenever I could sneak there, I told your mother about you. She might appear weak, but she will recover. She’s strong. Now, let’s go back.”
Heartache clenches its crawls around my heart, making it bleed for my mom.
A headache throbs behind my temples, and I rub at them in a circular motion to ease the pressure.
Blake starts the engine. “I wish there was a different way.”
“We would have found one. Now we’ll never know.”
I can’t even look at him right now. I hate that I can understand his thought process. When we think we know the best solution to solve something, we become opaque.
Blake parks the car, and I stare out the window. I have a few more hours with Kaden. That’s why I prefer plans. They give you a sense of security, as shallow as it might be.
“I need to ask something else of you.”
“Oh, another thing? Please, I’m not stopping you.”
“We need to keep the pretense alive.”
I shut the door behind me and tiptoe into my room. I scream on the inside as I go to the bathroom and slide down the door. My ass hits the floor, and I throw my head against it.
But feeling sorry for myself is not an option. I stand, deciding to take an even bigger risk.
I go to my desk, pull a paper and a pen out of the drawer, and write.
Dear Grandmother, you can’t imagine how I feel having to look you in the eyes and act as if it means something. It doesn’t when it should have.
By the time you read this, I will be held captive in the laboratory. I heard it”s quite the fun experience, but you seem to thrive on our fears and weaknesses so I hope you don’t choke on it. (That’s a lie.)
I smirk while writing this. I won because I made you believe I was the subdued, behaved, and brainless soldier you wanted. Newsflash, I am not. I came back to avenge my father and get my mother back. Oh, didn’t I tell you? My father is alive and has done what you couldn’t: search for my mother.
I bet you want to know where she is? Right under your nose, literally. I guess your little soldiers have run amok. Hmm, Grandmother, Grandmother, did you turn soft? Or just blind? I think the coup is going to hit you right in your condescending face.
What was it? Fear breeds respect and loyalty? Imagine me throwing my head back and laughing at your credo. Love breeds loyalty, but you wouldn’t know that.
Let me tell you a story. I didn’t cause my parents’ accident. The brakes were tampered with. Your little soldier turned traitor, Felix, was still obsessed with my mom. I guess that’s what happens when you don’t let people screw on their own. I despise him even more than I do you. But I understand the pain, the rage, and the injustice. And when we take it in our hands, we turn justice sour. Felix erased my memories, quite a brilliant move. Are you proud of him? Because you should be. He’s even more ruthless than you are. Mom was alive then. She is alive now. You blamed me, but guess what, it never was my fault.
And I don’t care. You are nothing to me, anyway.
Do with this whatever you want. But my mother’s last words were to tell you she was loyal, but her love for me demanded she take me away. She knew you’d eventually see her loving me as a weakness. My parents left with me because they didn’t want to live their lives in cages under your tyranny.
I place the pen down and read it, feeling vindicated. The only thing I regret is not seeing her face while she reads my letter.
The little girl who wanted love and comfort will never get the satisfaction of having it.
I fold it and put it in an envelope.
Mia is asleep when I approach her bed. Her eyelashes flutter open, and her fingers wrap around my wrist.
“I said stop coming.”
“Mia?”
She apologizes quickly, and I ask, “Who made you this mad?”
“Doesn’t matter.”
“Just because I don’t say things doesn’t mean I am not seeing them.”
She pulls her knees to her chin. “I thought it would be a fresh start here, but it’s just been about…” She sighs and says, “Ignore me.”
“After this, we all need time to find ourselves.”
“All that sex must have made you more malleable.”
“Ha, that was almost funny.”
“No, honestly. I like you happy and less keen on destroying things. It’s good.”
My head drops. She is my best friend, and I hate to keep things from her, but time is running out.
“Say it already.”
I give her the envelope. “I need you to bring this to Grandmother tomorrow.”
“When?”
“You will know.”
“If this is one of your solo initiatives––”
“I want tonight to be just like any other night. Please.”
“I won’t like it, will I?”
“No, but it’s the only way.”
She smiles at me, a nostalgic gleam in her eyes before we hug each other tightly.
“I’ll always have your back.”
“Ditto.”
By the time I climb into bed next to Kaden, the sun is making its daily ascent. He pulls me to his warm chest, and I cuddle myself deeper to him. He will be so mad at me, but Blake is right about one thing: me being in the laboratory provides the best distraction.
“I love you, Kaden,” I whisper. “I’m so proud of the man you’re becoming.”
“And I hear this only when you think I’m asleep?” He makes a fake pouty face and I caress his jaw, giggling.
“I will compliment you from time to time. That ego of yours doesn’t need assurance that often.”
“Why aren’t you sleeping? Are you in pain? What can I do?”
My heart is so full it drips with the endless amount of love I feel for him.
“No. All I need is you.”
And in what I dub the sweetest moment possible, he kisses my lower belly and says tenderly voice brimming with love, “Here’s a small request. Be gentler with her. I love her.”
Emotions overwhelm me. When I think there’s no possible way I could fall deeper in love with him, he proves me wrong. He lays his head on my stomach, and I caress it, threading my fingers through his hair.
“I can imagine you being pregnant.”
“Maybe one day.”
“No. One day.”
I smile at his confidence, but first we must get over this hurdle.
“What if it’s true that Felix is holding my mom captive?”
His eyebrows furrow. “What is this? Are you testing where my loyalties lie?”
He will be so mad at Blake. My heart breaks for their friendship and brotherhood. We all think we are doing the right thing.
“He’s not a father to me. And if he does have your mom, he’s dead to me.”
“I want you to promise me something.”
“What?”
It’s incredible how he doesn’t question my request. That might change when he finds out.
“We forgave each other. We overcame the strain because our love is worth it.”
“You’re it for me. I have no idea where you’re going with this?”
“Loyalty is subjective. Nothing is black and white—everything is mostly on the gray spectrum.”
“Celine?” He tenses. I quickly add, “Promise you’ll listen. And when you calm down, I don’t want you to react like a volcano that has no choice but to erupt.”
“You’re hiding things again, aren’t you?”
He pushes himself off the bed. Instead of making things better, I’ve made them worse.
“Kaden.”
“No, tell me.”
“Baby, it’s nothing.” Yes, lie, way to go. “I couldn’t sleep, and I am emotional, and… forget it, okay? Come back to bed.”
He turns halfway to me, and I pat the mattress. “Please.”
But the version that comes to bed is not the sweet Kaden. It’s the angry one, because he knows something is wrong.
“You’re mine.”
“I swear, just yours. Only yours. Today, tomorrow, always.”
When I wake up sometime later, Kaden’s not next to me, but I find a note.
You’re perfect—the only woman for me. I love you to insanity.
I put it on my chest when he steps inside the room carrying a breakfast tray.
“How are you feeling?”
“Great, considering you fucked me so hard I thought I was teleported to three different galaxies and back.”
He chuckles, and I wrap my arms around him, kissing him.
After we finish breakfast, he says, “I have to go to the company for a few hours.”
My mouth fills with brittle sand, so instead of lying, I say, “I’ll think of you.”
“You’d better.” He disappears into the walk-in closet. Dressed in a fitted suit that hugs his athletic body, he looks beyond mouthwatering. I arrange his tie and walk with him downstairs. I kiss him again, my lips lingering on his, my body clinging to him.
“Should I stay?”
“No, no, it’s fine. I’ve got this.”
He kisses my forehead and then leaves.
Tension creeps in. I look over my shoulder, and Blake is behind me.
“For a moment, I thought you’d reconsider.”
“It’s not like I have much of a choice.”
“I made the phone call.”
“If anyone asks, I went to class. We all should go more.”
I change and take my duffel bag, where the so-called evidence is. It’s a picture of the safe in Felix’s house. They will just have to follow the rest of the plan.
I change quickly and slip outside. My fingers tremble as I start the engine and drive away. I hate being in the open, vulnerable, even though I know what is about to happen.
You’re doing this for your mother and family.
Whatever will come, you’re strong enough.
I repeat this affirmation as two black SUVs block me in the middle of the road. I don’t put up a fight, deciding it’s better to preserve my energy. One masked man yanks my door open and grabs me by the elbow while putting a cloth on my mouth. Then everything turns black.