Chapter Twenty-seven
No. No. No.
This isn’t happening. Not now. Not here.
“I need to go,” Sidney pushes past me, her steps heavy and quick as she makes a beeline for the door. But I don’t let her go alone. There’s no way she’s leaving right now until she lets me explain myself.
Fuck. I should have just come clean. I knew this would happen.
How did she even find out!?
“Sidney!” I call her name, shoving people out of the way to get to her, but I’m not quick enough to stop her from rushing out the doors, almost knocking a server carrying a tray of champagne over.
“Sidney, wait!”
“Leave me alone, Noah.” She calls back, holding onto the rail to rush down the steps. Heads swivel our way, questions murmured, asking what’s going on.
“Sid, please,” I finally reach her, my hand circling her arm to pull her to a stop. She spins to face me, her eyes glazed, but no tears have spilled out.
“How could you?” She asks thickly, her voice wavering.
“Just let me explain,” I don’t let go of her, far too afraid that if I release her, she’ll slip right through my fingers.
“What’s there to explain?” She snaps, “You lied to me. You let me believe that I was the problem. That there was something wrong with me!”
“I didn’t—that wasn’t my intention, Sid, you have to know that.”
“Do I?” She laughs without humor. “How many other times did you intervene, hm?”
I snap my mouth closed.
“Once?” She presses. “Twice? How many, Noah?”
“Just three.”
“Just three.”
“They were never good enough for you!” My voice rises a little, drawing even more attention to us. Cameras turn our way, and I turn us slightly, shielding her from the vulture’s lenses. “Sid, they were never good enough. Not those mediocre men you found on the street, and certainly not Isaac Shaw.”
“So, you pretended they ghosted or stood me up?” She accuses, “You led me to believe that I had done something to warrant that!”
“I understand you’re hurt because you didn’t get a chance with them, but I—”
“No!” She cuts me off sharply, “I’m not hurt because I didn’t get a chance with them, Noah. Why would I care when I had been in love with you? It never would have worked with them anyway because every single one of them wasn’t you.”
“Sid…”
“I’m hurt because you lied. You got involved and pushed them all away when I didn’t ask you to! And why? Because you loved me?”
“Yes.”
“Not good enough, Noah,” A tear slips out the corner of her eye but she’s quick to swat it away, “In all the years we have been friends, and all the shit we have been through both together and apart, I never thought you would be the one to hurt me the most.”
My heart does a painful thud inside my chest, splitting me open.
“I don’t care about the failed dates. I don’t care about the what ifs. I care that you betrayed me and lied. Instead of telling me how you felt, you inserted yourself into my love life to make sure I was spiraling in that pain too.”
“You never told me how you felt either.”
“No, you’re right,” She wipes another tear, “But I didn’t try and hurt your prospects.
Whenever you were with someone else, I cheered you on.
And yeah, it hurt to watch you be happy with someone else, but as long as you were happy, then so was I.
You were my best friend, and I wanted you to have the world. I was just happy to be a part of it.”
“You are the world to me, Sid.”
“I need to leave, Noah.” She pulls out of my grip and steps back, the space between us opening, cracking and splitting with no bridge to get across it.
“Please, Sidney.” I beg, “Cricket, please.”
“Don’t follow me.” She wraps her arms around herself, turning to leave but pauses, “Oh, by the way, Lauren is in love with you. Might want to let her know that you don’t feel the same.”
“Lauren? What does she have to do with this?”
“How do you think I found out, Noah?” Sid laughs without humor and then turns and leaves and all I can do is watch her walk away.
Fuck!
She steps up to the sidewalk and hails down a cab.
With one glance back at me, the pain of what I did written all over her face, she climbs into the cab and drives away. My head drops as the thing inside my chest that has always belonged to her shatters into a million pieces.
She’s right. In all the times I tried to find someone else, she gave me nothing but support. She cheered me on and I did the opposite of that.
I am not a good man.
I am not a good friend.
My steps are full of lead as I head back up the stairs. I need to speak with the valet to get my car brought up. The last thing I want is to stay here without her.
“Noah?” Lauren’s voice sounds to the left just before her hand touches my forearm. Cold washes through me as I turn to my assistant, Isaac behind her barely paying any attention.
“You’re fired.” My voice is low, but the words are harsh.
She snatches her hand back, “Excuse me?”
“Pack your shit up on Monday and then security will escort you off the premises.”
“Why are you firing me?” She blinks in shock.
“I could have let your little crush slide,” I sneer, “But you went too far.”
“I didn’t realize it was a secret.” I smell the bullshit a mile off.
“You’re fired. Maybe you should ask your date for a job. I’m sure he’ll be willing to accommodate. He always did like going after the shit I had.”
“Hey now,” Isaac huffs, “What did I do?”
“You can’t fire me,” Lauren snaps, “I did you a favor! She was only using you, Noah!”
“Are you fucking insane?” My cool is wearing off, and I am about to lose my shit.
“Is she talking about Sidney?” Isaac asks.
“Yes, she’s talking about Sidney.”
“Did you know he sabotaged you and her?” Lauren quirks a brow like she’s suddenly got the upper hand. “Took her phone and changed your number in it. She probably text you and you never received it.”
“Is that true?” Isaac asks me.
“Yes.” No point denying it now.
There’s a moment of quiet before he lets out a chuckle, “Don’t blame you. If I had a girl like that, I would have done the same.”
My brows lift at his admission.
“Plus, I only asked her out to fuck with you. I already knew she was in love with you and I didn’t stand a damn chance.”
“Yeah, well,” I shake my head, “Sid doesn’t see it that way. She left.”
“How do you not see she just wants your money? I mean look at the gifts and the food.” Lauren rolls her eyes.
“Shut the fuck up,” I snap at her, “You have no fucking idea what my woman wants. And even if she did want everything from me, I would give it to her! She loved me when I had nothing, saw all my shit and all my pain and cradled it to her chest. She loved me before the world even knew who the fuck I was. So, you can take whatever bullshit you’re about to spit, and shove it where the sun doesn’t fucking shine. ”
Lauren’s mouth drops open.
“If you don’t collect your shit by mid-day on Monday, I’ll have it put in the trash.”
She sputters out a couple of words but I’m not sticking around to listen to any of her bullshit any longer. I want out of here. I need to speak to Sid, beg her to give me a second chance but for now, I’ll respect her wishes and leave her alone for tonight.
This isn’t it for us. We have not gone through everything we have for it to end like this. And even if she won’t take me back, maybe we can salvage whatever is left of our friendship. I can’t live without her, so I’ll take whatever she wants to give me, be it friendship or more.
“Harsh,” Isaac’s voice has me curling my lip, “Didn’t think you had it in you to be that ruthless.”
“You don’t know me at all.”
“She really leave you?”
A bitter laugh grumbles from my throat, “Stay the fuck away from her, Shaw.”
“Wasn’t planning on going near her, Calahan.”
“What does it matter if she fucking left me?”
Isaac shrugs, “Just didn’t realize you were a quitter is all.”
“What the hell are you talking about?”
“If that were my girl,” He starts walking backwards, “There would be no way in hell I’d just let her go.”
Rolling my eyes, I let him leave without another word and head back to where I dropped my car off. Surely, he doesn’t think I’ve just let her go.
I am just giving her space. She needs it.
But I don’t want to go home, and I can’t go to hers, so I go to the only other place that provides a touch of comfort, even if the beer is fucking warm.
Scotty’s.