24. The Groupie
The Groupie
BETTY
Watching Mary play center of attention in my cousin’s crowded music room confused me and filled my cup.
I was used to hanging back as the youngest child in a family of Very Important People.
What wasn’t normal was feeling like an outsider.
Of course, I wasn’t in showbiz, but here I was twenty feet from a person I longed to touch unable to get a word in.
“It’s weird to be the groupie, huh?” Leah snickered, putting her arm around my shoulder. “Oh, sweetheart, just go mosey over there.”
I shook my head. “I don’t even know where to begin. We’re in this weird limbo. I don’t want to make her feel awkward or to steal the spotlight. It’s really her night. They killed.”
“Totally slayed, yeah. They’re going to be super-duper famous, but she’s also your girlfriend, so you shouldn’t feel weird hanging out with her at a party.”
“She’s not. And Keir and Ingrid are here—”
“Given that I have played wingman for your idiot brothers with so many bad choices in women and you basically spared him Ingrid’s wrath on how many occasions… I think you have earned the right to be yourself.”
“I’ve never even told Ingrid.”
“Well, maybe now is the time?”
“What? So she and Keir can laugh?”
A pained expression crossed Leah’s face.
“Oh, sweetheart, you need to get past that if you’re going to date an older lesbian.
I know Mary. She’s not going back in the closet for you.
She might pretend you’re not together for now, but once you’ve both fulfilled your contractual obligations with UniVox, she won’t want to hide you. ”
“It just… it feels like I gotta make everything about this suddenly. It feels silly. Because we’re not together—not officially—but if I don’t just live my life as though we are, she’s not interested. Is that normal?”
Leah nodded in Lourdes’s direction. “I gave Lou and ultimatum before we got back together-together. I said either we were all in, or we weren’t at all.
It was painful, but she began to live her life far more authentically.
The rest is history. I just cannot live like that. I’ve lived as myself for many years.”
It occurred to me that Leah had been in Mary’s place, as I was in Lourdes’s.
Leah patted my shoulder playfully, “Just… if you need to tell Ingy and Keir to feel comfortable here, do it. You don’t have to worry about anyone else.
They either know or won’t care. This place is a fishbowl but the girls, the gays, and the theys in this room will stand up for you.
It’s a line we do not cross. That’s the beautiful bit about having a showbiz family. ”
I smiled. “Okay. You’re right. Time to be brave.”
I left the corner, made another drink, and found Keir and Ingrid laughing by the windows. Ingrid scrolled through pictures of their youngest.
“Oh, come on!” I teased. “You finally get out for five minutes and we’re just looking at the baby?”
“Lex is perfect,” Keir said. “The nanny sent photos.”
“Uh-huh,” I said.
“What are you up to? You’re being weird. I’m still cross about the snub,” Ingrid said.
I rolled my eyes, “Darling, it wasn’t a snub. I have… reasons. And I was worried if I stayed with you and shit hit the fan, you’d be upset. I also didn’t want to put you in an awkward situation where I brought someone home.”
“Who are you shagging then?” Keir asked. “Because if he’s—”
“He’s not a he,” I said.
His eyebrows raised. “So, it’s not a man?”
“He is a she and it was a miscommunication,” I confirmed.
“Oh, wow. So it is the rocker who was eye-fucking you backstage and got all weird when she met me?” Ingrid slapped Keir’s arm. “Pay up, Keir!”
“What?”
“We had a bet that she did or did not have a crush on you,” Ingrid explained. “This seals it.”
I recoiled in confusion. “I… I’m sorry, but like… I just told you I’m also into girls and you’re confused about settling a bet?”
Ingrid took me by the shoulders maternally, “Sweetheart, you have made out with women in bars half a dozen times while I was with you. You’re hornier than ever for men and women. It’s obvious.”
“Can we please not?” Keir groaned. “In my mind, my little sister doesn’t have sex, and we never talk about our exploits.”
“Keir, she’s a grown adult who is barely younger than I am.”
He glared, always annoyed by this reminder.
“So, you’re not going to like… say anything to me?” I crossed my arms. “Like be weird about the fact that she’s a woman or—”
“No! Oh my God, why are you asking that?” Keir erupted in annoyance. “Fucking hell, Bets! I remember both the grans still being alive. That was normal. Uncle George and Uncle Patrick are so dear to me. Why do you think I’m some awful, homophobic—”
“Dear straight man, don’t take it personally.” I stopped him.
“Then why assume the worst?”
I looked down, unsure.
“She’s being really vulnerable and you’re being a prick,” Ingrid spoke.
Keir thought about it, then sighed. “I’m sorry, Bets. I just… I am a little cross about the implication.”
“It’s not an implication. It’s a secret I’m entrusting you with, Keir.”
“Why? Are you worried about Mamma and Peder? You shouldn’t.”
“I’m more worried about the press eating her alive,” I nodded at Mary. “She has no idea how awful they could be. You must understand that?”
“I do. I worry about Ingrid endlessly,” Keir said.
“And right now, we can’t say shit because of the cameras following us everywhere. Tonight even, I had to stand back. I was only there to support Leah. They followed us, but I had to mind myself.”
“Oh, because we’re all competitors?” Ingrid asked brightly. “They do realize we often train together and ride against one another all the time, right?”
“No one cares about horses that much, Ingy,” I giggled. “Not the Norwegian press, anyhow.”
“It’s better there than here,” Keir said.
“But it will not stay there,” Ingrid reminded.
She turned to me. “Sweetie, you should tell your parents when you can. It’s important and your mum will absolutely want to hug you and tell you she loves you. I know because I’d want to do the same if it were one of our kids.”
“So, just… we won’t speak for you,” Keir agreed.
“But, I am with Ingrid on this. Live your life authentically. I won’t deny I worry about the press all the time, but it’s not worth it to be deeply unhappy.
My deepest regret was keeping Ingrid stowed away as long as I did.
It’s not great to love someone in secret for years. ”
Ingrid looked at him sweetly and rested her head on his shoulder. “I’d make different demands if I did it all again, but the outcome is the same. Live your life, Bets. You have more freedom than most of us. Don’t let this hold you back.”
“Now, you’re going to lose her if you don’t puff up your chest and get in there,” Keir said. “Go on. Be a little brave. I’ve never seen you shy away before.”
I snickered. He always wished I would be a little more subtle. Taking my brother’s advice and thinking about Leah’s words, I grew bolder, pressing into the crowd. I came face to face with Mary. As our eyes locked, she stopped her conversation.
“Oh, there you are,” Mary said. “Gem, this is Betty. Betty, this is Gem. She’s a producer. Betty is Princess Ingrid’s sister-in-law and is somehow in charge of hosting UniVox.”
“I’m also probably the head of the Zamboneys fan club by this point.” I extended my hand. “Really nice to meet you.”
“Oh, wait… are you one of them? Should I… bow?” Gem asked.
“Not right now, please,” I groaned. “I’m just Betty. Yes, I’m Keir’s younger sister. No, I don’t want to talk about it. Tonight, I am just the biggest fan of the Zamboneys’s lead singer.”
Mary blushed.
“That’s adorable. And Norway isn’t upset about its princess falling for the Brits?”
“They’d have to hate on my aunt, if so, but she’s the most beloved royal even if she was born Queen Natalie’s sister,” I talked more to myself than Gem.
None of the love stories in our family were easy.
Keir was maligned for marrying a woman from out of the country that he’d hidden away for five years.
My mother was accused of being not good enough for Keir’s father and raked over the coals for “hooking up” with my father by the British press while they grieved the loss of Keir’s father—as his best friend and widow.
Uncle Olav and Aunt Kiersten had a scandalous communication debacle that went public and led to a snap engagement between two separate royal houses.
Ingrid and Keir were right. It would never be simple. But as I smiled at Mary, I couldn’t help but fall deeper in love, and lust, with her. Seeing her in her element and having her choose to spend the night with me—little old boring me—brought about all the butterflies.
“Well, I’m gonna go talk to AJ,” Gem said. “Nice to meet you, Betty.”
She stepped back and finally I had Mary to myself.