15. Anna #2
He lifted his arms out of the water and stretched them out on the rim of the hot tub on either side of him. If he’d taken up space before, his area just doubled. “That’s what you want to know?”
“Yeah. It’s great that you saw something you wanted to do and went for it. You’re in control of everything. It just seems so… freeing.”
Beau shrugged. “It is. I didn’t want to work for an idiot, and at the time, I was the only person I trusted to do things right.”
Anna bit her lips between her teeth. It was such a Beau thing to say, and she loved it.
“Dad gave me a start-up loan. It took every penny both of us had, but I was determined to pay him back no matter what. I had the loan paid off by the third year. Now I need to hire more employees because we have more work than we can handle.”
“That’s amazing,” she whispered. She’d spent plenty of time at Beau’s garage. Despite his gruff demeanor, customers respected his honesty, and he had plenty of repeat business. She’d seen cars float in and out of the shop more than once over the years.
“What exactly do you do online with the fashion stuff?” Beau asked.
Oh yeah. It was his turn. “I share fashion tips and tricks for different body styles and trends. Boutiques send me exclusive pieces to share and talk about. Usually, it’s either to announce an upcoming line or gauge interest so they can anticipate trends.”
“They send you clothes for free?”
That was a separate question, but she’d allow it. “Yes.”
“Do you make money from it?”
Okay, he was running away with the questions. “My social channels are monetized, so I get paid whenever someone watches my videos. I also have affiliate links with many boutiques and companies, which means I get paid whenever someone purchases something after clicking on the link I shared.”
Beau’s eyes widened. “Wow. I had no idea.”
“My turn,” Anna said, shifting in the warm water. “What has been your favorite part of this trip so far?”
Silence settled around them as Beau considered his answer. Was it really this difficult to decide? She’d assumed snowmobiling would be the clear winner.
“Pass.”
What? Why would he pass on that one?
“Okay. What’s your favorite food?”
“Steak. Ribeye. Medium.”
Anna chuckled. “So predictable.”
“Who doesn’t like steak? ”
“It’s not my favorite. I prefer baked or roasted chicken to any other meat.”
“I mean, I don’t have anything against chicken or really any other food. It’s just hard to beat a good steak.”
A gentle warning floated to the surface of her thoughts. Why had she asked about his favorite food?
Because she’d always been told—mostly by her mother—that a good wife always prepares her husband’s favorite foods. Anna had spent over a year learning and perfecting Dean’s favorite foods.
Was she programmed to repeat her mistakes? The urge to put aside anything she’d done with Dean was strong. Where had she gone wrong? How could she know what exactly drove him away?
“My turn?” Beau asked, interrupting her downward spiral.
Anna nodded, still reeling over her self-revelation.
“How many times has Dean called you since we left?”
Wow. Beau didn’t pull punches. “Um, a lot.”
“How many have you answered?”
Okay, Beau liked to double up on his turn every time. “None.”
His expression didn’t change. She’d been watching closely how the shadows fell over his features .
No reaction at all? It had taken all of her willpower not to answer calls, even if the calls were from Dean.
She brushed stray hairs from her ponytail away from her face. “Do you date?”
“That’s a very general question,” he said.
“I’ll accept a very general answer. I just haven’t seen you with anyone since maybe high school.”
Beau rested his head back, completely relaxed despite the conversation topics. “Not really. It never lasts long.”
“Why not?” If he could ask more than one question, she could too.
“I can tell pretty quickly if it’s real, and then there isn’t any point dragging it out.”
“Are you super picky?” she asked.
“No. I’m just not going to devote my time to a relationship that won’t last.”
Anna sank another inch into the water. “I wish I’d known,” she whispered.
Beau lifted his head. “What do you really love? Not who. What.”
Thank goodness he was steering the questions back to safe territory. “I love my job. Well, parts of it. I love helping people, but I don’t like bending the rules to fit an agenda for my client.”
Yes, she’d initially become an attorney because it was all she’d ever known growing up with two of them. They were both cunning and fierce, and a part of her had hoped she could somehow learn how to be assertive and confident like them.
Too bad it hadn’t happened for her. She wasn’t cutthroat, and she didn’t manipulate evidence or people to win.
“As far as the fashion vlog goes, I love building people up and giving them confidence. I want people to see themselves the way God sees them—beautiful and perfect as He intended.”
Beau didn’t respond. He just waited, which only gave her more time with her thoughts.
“What do you think I’m doing wrong?” she asked. “The truth. I can handle it.”
He didn’t ask for clarification, but he took his time staring into the night before he turned to her.
“Nothing. Wait, there’s something. You’re chasing after love, but real love won’t make you chase it.”
A pricking behind her eyes had her inhaling a deep breath through her nose. He was right. He was so right that it scared her, and there wasn’t anything she could do to change it.
No one had truly loved her yet. That was obvious. No matter what she did or how hard she worked to make someone happy, she may never find someone who would love her back.
Why was she so worried about something she couldn’t control?
Because she wanted it. She wanted a pure, real love more than anything, but that life might not be God’s plan for her. Could she accept it if that was the case?
“What are you afraid of?” Beau asked.
The answer was as clear as the night sky shining with hundreds of stars around them. “Not finding love,” she whispered. Desperate to move on, she looked up and asked, “What are you afraid of?”
Beau pierced her with an intense stare as he lowered his arms and crossed them over his chest.
Of course he wasn’t going to tell her what he was afraid of. Did Beau Lawrence even have fears? If he did, he didn’t show it.
“What are you afraid of?” she repeated, determined to push him to answer this one because she’d already told him hers.
“You.”
Anna sucked in a breath, but the air was too thick. Sweat dripped down the back of her neck and over her temples.
Her? But, why?
The alarm on Beau’s phone pierced the air, jerking her out of the present.
Beau stood in a rush and turned off the alarm. “Time to get out.”
“Beau.”
“Time’s up.” He grabbed a towel and stepped out of the hot tub. “I’ll get changed, then you can have the bathroom. ”
Who cared about the bathroom or changing clothes or anything when she had more questions?
But Beau was gone, dripping water behind him as he stepped into the room. Even if he’d stayed, he wouldn’t have given her anything else.
Now, she wanted to amend her answer to his last question. She wasn’t afraid of dying before she found love. She was afraid she’d already found it and he wouldn’t love her back.