28. Anna
Anna
A nna was going to miss the coffee from Mountain Mugs. The cafe conveniently located in Freedom Ridge Lodge was some of the best she’d ever had. If only the line were longer, she could drag out the leaving.
They’d slept late, then taken advantage of the hot breakfast at Liberty Grille. That was another thing she wanted to take home to Blackwater—the food.
Beau joined her as she stared at the menu written on a chalkboard high on the wall. He wrapped his arm around her as if it were the most natural thing in the world. “What are you getting?”
“I think I want to try the peppermint mocha. You?”
“You get three guesses, and the first two don’t count.”
“Black coffee,” she said, rolling her eyes at the simplicity of his order. “Don’t you want to try something new?”
“No. I know I like black coffee.”
Anna leaned her head on his shoulder. “That’s one of the many things I love about you. You know what you want.”
He pressed a kiss to her hair. “I think you know what you want too. You’re just afraid to speak up and go after it.”
She angled her head toward his face. “You’re right, but there’s this great guy who is teaching me how to do that.”
Beau squeezed her tighter. “It’s all you. Reminding you that you’re awesome makes me a cheerleader, not the one who gets the credit.”
She thought about what Beau said as they got their coffee and stepped out into the cold December morning.
Snow covered every surface for as far as she could see.
It settled on rooftops, roads, and mountains for miles.
She was used to snow, but this level of coverage was reserved for the high elevations of the Rocky peaks.
Soon, they were venturing north, and a nagging sat low in her gut along with the coffee. What was she going to do when they got back to Blackwater? What did she want to do?
It was both freeing and terrifying knowing she wasn’t beholden to anyone anymore. She could make her own decisions—something she hadn’t been able to do since she started dating Dean. Actually, her parents had been pressuring her into making decisions her entire life.
Whatever was building between her and Beau was a completely different animal.
Sure, she still wanted to be one part of a whole, but Beau made it easy.
It was as if they fit together like two pieces of a puzzle.
Making decisions was simple because they understood each other and actually communicated.
Dean hadn’t liked talking. He made decisions for himself and did what he wanted without considering her. He’d also shamed her whenever she brought up something she wanted to do, or flat-out refused to do things with her if it wasn’t something he was interested in too.
What a contrast to the entire week she’d spent with Beau.
She glanced over at him as he drove. Would he eventually get tired of being around her too? Would he ignore her calls and claim she was too needy the way Dean had?
They were chasing sunsets with the darkness at their backs, ready to claim them. Was the trip meant to be a fleeting moment of happiness and then just a memory?
“What’s going on in that head of yours?” he asked, giving her a quick glance before turning back to the road.
“Just wondering about…life. My future. Our future.”
“Well, that’s a lot. Care to share with the class?”
Anna rested her head against the seat. “Will you forget about me?”
Beau swallowed before answering. “I could never forget about you.”
“I couldn’t forget about you either. I don’t want to go back to the way things were before. I want to be able to talk to you and be happy with you. My old blissfully ignorant life has disappeared, and I can’t get it back. I don’t want to.”
Beau reached for her hand. “It’ll be tough. You might lose everything, and I can’t live with that.”
“I won’t lose everything if I have you and my friends. I’ll be happy. That’s all I want.”
Beau let out a deep sigh but kept his attention on the road.
“Can’t we just stay? I bet Jan would give me a job at Stories and Scones, and you could lead snowmobile tours over the mountains.”
Beau glanced at her again. “That’s tempting, but I think Olivia would show up at the door to yell at us.”
Anna sank into the seat. “I love Blackwater. It’s my home, but it’s more than that. I really have the best friends. ”
Dean had put a strain on all of her friendships.
Actually, she’d let him, all in the name of love.
How could they forgive her for taking his side all this time?
Her friends had only been looking out for her.
They were the ones who’d begged her to stand up for herself, but she hadn’t listened until Misty metaphorically slapped her in the face.
Not having Dean in her life was one problem solved, but no matter how supportive her friends were, they couldn’t protect her from her mother’s sharp tongue.
After a few minutes of silence, Anna whispered, “I want to go home, but I want to run away too.”
Beau adjusted his hand and threaded his fingers into the spaces between hers, careful not to move her wrist too much now that she wasn’t wearing the brace. “If you’re running away from your problems, I’m glad you ran away with me.”
“Me too.” Her voice broke on the two simple words. He’d given her a safe place to heal and get her feet back under her, and words couldn’t express what that meant to her.
“I have a theory, if you’re interested in hearing it,” Beau said.
“By all means, please share.”
“The happiness of this week wasn’t because of where we were or how far away your problems are.
You were happy because you were just being you.
No fake smiles, no putting on a show, no bowing to someone else’s orders.
I know it won’t seem as easy as it was in Freedom, but you can still do that at home. ”
Anna lifted his hand and turned it over until his palm was exposed. She focused on the lines, calluses, and curves as she explored the man who continued to surprise her. “I need to be a better me.”
“That doesn’t mean you have to do everything alone,” Beau reminded her.
Anna swallowed hard, dreading the conversation they needed to have before they crossed the town line back into Blackwater. “Where do we go from here?” she asked.
“What do you mean?”
She brushed her fingertips over the lines on his palm before trailing up each finger. With a deep inhale, she asked, “What are we? Do we have a label? What do you want?”
Beau lifted her hand in his and kissed her knuckles. “I want you to be happy. As much as I really, really want to jump into things with you, I think you need time to find out how strong you can be.”
Anna’s chest tightened. It sounded a lot like he was letting her down slowly. “What are you saying?”
“I’m saying I want to make sure this is what you want. You have a million things to take care of when we get back, and I don’t want to get in the way of that. ”
“You’re not in the way,” she quickly added.
“Listen, nothing that I’m saying is bad. I’m not going anywhere. I’ll be here. Just don’t stress too much about us when you have other things going on. I’m not going to be upset if you don’t call, because I know you’re busy. I’ll be happy to hear from you when you do have time for me.”
“That’s…good, I guess.”
When she stopped exploring his hand, he began to lazily explore hers where it lay on the console between them.
“I’m trying to say I’ll give you time to realize that you can do things on your own without questioning every move you make.
You don’t have to worry about what I think because I’m on your side. Always.”
Beau was giving her a gift, and it was the best thing anyone had ever done for her. It only made her want him more.
“Is that what you want?” she asked.
“What do you mean? This isn’t about me.”
Anna leaned closer to him, propping on the console between them to whisper, “Ask me what I want.”
He gave her a playful smirk before facing the road ahead. “Okay. What do you want?”
“I want you. I also realize that you’re right. I trust you, and I’m not afraid. I’ve never had this before—a relationship that was stronger than the storms life throws at us. ”
“See? You can do this.” He blew out a quick breath. “I can’t believe I’m saying this, but we can do this.”
Anna chuckled. “Yeah, it sounds strange to me too. I don’t think anyone could have seen this coming. Me and you!”
Beau narrowed his eyes. “I’m starting to think Olivia pushed me to go with you because she knew.”
She hadn’t thought about it before, but she certainly was now. Had she missed Liv subtly prodding them toward each other? “You think? She’s never said anything to me about the two of us.”
“I wouldn’t put it past her. She’s sneaky like that.”
A carefree laugh burst from Anna’s chest. “Do you think she saw an opportunity and ran with it?”
“You’re laughing, but I think I’m right.”
“I think you are too. I don’t know whether to kick her behind or send her a thank you card.”
Beau was quiet for a few moments, but he held onto her hand with an unwavering grip. “I think we should wait to tell people.”
Anna could easily spiral into doubt, but none of that feeling made an appearance. Beau wasn’t ashamed of her, he was protecting what they were building. “I agree. It would take a lot of the pressure off, at least in the beginning. Liv and Dawson know.”
“We could ask them not to tell,” Beau said .
Anna nodded, then squeezed his hand in a show of solidarity. “I like that idea.”
Their week in Freedom was only the beginning. The new relationship they were bringing home was worth protecting at all costs.