33. Anna
Anna
F lurries of soft snow rushed over Anna’s windshield in the dark night as she followed the taillights of Beau’s truck. The hands that gripped the steering wheel ached, and her wrist throbbed. Her entire body shook as she gasped for air.
I left. I just…walked out.
The adrenaline pumping through her veins was either excitement or fear, but none of it mattered. She needed to use the energy to figure out what to do next.
“Father, I need some help. What am I doing? I want to honor my parents, but at what cost?”
Her parents didn’t love God. Did they even love her? She’d blindly trusted that they’d had her best interest at heart her whole life, but did they? It certainly didn’t feel like it at the moment. Was blind obedience at twenty-eight the only way to honor ?
She’d left her mom—the one thing she’d always said she wouldn’t do. Her mom’s parents had been taken from her, but this was different. Anna had left on her own.
But it was time. She knew it. She wasn’t ready, but for some things, she might never feel ready.
“God, help me. I—I don’t know what I’m doing. I don’t want to hurt her, but I don’t like it when she hurts me either.” Her breaths were ragged as her tight muscles racked her whole body. “Help me, please!”
Then the tears came again, blurring what little she could see of the road in front of her. Beau’s taillights were the only thing guiding her now.
“Am I supposed to follow him? Where is he even going?” Anna asked as tears rolled down her face, chasing each other before falling onto her lap.
The rest of her prayers were more of the same. What else could she do but beg for help? She was as lost as the hundreds of snowflakes that peppered her windshield.
Beau parked behind Blackwater Automotive, and she followed. She spent a lot of time hanging out with Olivia and their friends at Beau’s place, and while she knew he lived in the back, she’d never had a reason to explore that area.
He met her at her car as she stepped out. Snow crunched under his boots as he wrapped her in his arms and settled his stance around her .
Beau huffed a warm breath against her hair. “I’m sorry. I didn’t know what to do or say. I wanted to fight her for you.”
“You were great.” She was still shaking, but hopefully he wouldn’t notice. “I don’t think I could have done that if you hadn’t been there.”
“You might not have had the same conversation if I hadn’t been there.”
Anna was already shaking her head. “No. It’s not your fault. She’d already made up her mind before she showed up. I could tell. She was going to push me to the limit.”
Beau pressed a kiss to her head and took her hand in his. “Let’s go inside. You’re freezing.”
She wasn’t shaking because of the cold, but she didn’t correct him as they entered the back of his building. He took her straight to the kitchen that served as the break room and pulled out a chair at the table for her.
He opened a cabinet and grabbed two mugs. “You want coffee? I think Olivia keeps hot chocolate here somewhere.”
“Coffee sounds good.” She brushed her hands into her hair, trying and failing to shake off the exhaustion of the day.
While the coffee brewed, Beau pulled a chair away from the table and rested it in front of her before sitting down. He cradled her hand in both of his and propped his elbows on his knees. “What can I do?”
“I don’t know.” Her mind was still inconveniently void. “I have no idea what to do.”
“Do you want me to schedule a moving company to come? Dawson, Asa, Travis, and Gage would all help you move since your mom has evicted me from the property. I’m sure Olivia is on her way here right now.”
Anna hadn’t made a single phone call on the drive to Beau’s. While she’d been praying, Beau had been making a plan for her.
“Thank you. Yes, I do need a moving company and plenty of friends. I’m still in shock.”
Beau straightened his shoulders and gently tugged her hand. She moved from the chair to sit on his lap where he wrapped his strong arms around her, forming a fortress around her that shut the rest of the world out.
“You’re not alone. You have plenty of friends, which means you have options on where to stay until you can find a new place. That is…if you want to.”
“What do you mean?” Anna asked.
“I feel like this is my fault. If I hadn’t been there, she wouldn’t have told you to leave. I don’t want to cause any more problems between you and your family.”
Anna raised her head and cradled his face in her hands. Beau might have a masculine look about him, but there was a vulnerability in his words she’d never heard before.
“Newsflash, Mom and I had problems before you came along. Beau, this is not your fault. Well, actually, it is. You’re the one who believed in me and made me believe I could do it.”
His arms tightened around her. “I’m really proud of you. I just hope you did it for you and not me.”
Her heart still pounded hard and fast, but the fear had disappeared. There was a peace about what happened with her mother, and she had to believe that was a sign.
Anna slowly dragged her fingernails through his short beard, and he closed his eyes at her touch. He was so calm and steady—he was the rock they’d always said he was.
“I did it for both of us. Do you have any idea what you did to me on that trip?” she asked.
Beau slowly shook his head, never breaking eye contact with her.
“I was a mess after the wedding, but I didn’t stay that way. I was looking for myself, and I found you.”
“I don’t want?—”
Anna pressed her lips to his in a quick kiss. “I’m not finished. What I mean is, you showed me how to be myself. You gave me hope and courage. You can’t possibly know what that means to me.”
Beau nuzzled his head into the crook of her neck, and she held him close. Last week, he was an acquaintance—her best friend’s brother. This week, he was her confidant and teammate.
“What do you want me to do? How can I help?” he asked.
“You’ve already done it. You stood beside me.”
He raised his head and set his jaw. She was used to his stern demeanor, but this wasn’t the grumpy attitude so many of their friends teased him about. This was bold determination, and it was all in defense of her.
He brushed a hand over her cheek and into her hair. “I told you I’d always be here for you, and part of standing beside you means guarding your heart when someone tries to hurt you. So when you need me to, I’ll stand in front of you and take the hits if it means you get to be safe and happy.”
A lump sat heavy in Anna’s throat, and she tried and failed to swallow it. “Thank you,” she whispered.
He pulled her head toward him until her forehead touched his. As her eyes closed, she took her first healing breath.
Beau’s hand fisted in the hair at the nape of her neck. “I don’t want to cause you any more problems, but I will fight for you. All you have to do is ask.”