43. Anna
Anna
B rittany waited on the porch with her arms wrapped around her middle. A thin layer of snow covered her car. How long had she been waiting?
Anna reached for the door handle, but Beau rested a hand on her arm.
“We have to be careful,” he reminded her.
“I know. I don’t think she would hurt me.” Though, how much did she know about Brittany? They’d lost touch over the last few months, and she’d never explained her spur of the moment visits before.
Showing up at Dawson and Olivia’s house was another breach of privacy. Anna had mentioned that she was staying with her friend, Olivia, but she most definitely hadn’t given out the address.
Beau’s lips pressed together into a thin line. The wrinkle of worry between his brows deepened. “I don’t like this.”
“We’re not going to find out why she’s here by sitting in the truck. I need to talk to her.”
Beau sighed but reached for his door.
She had the freedom to make her own decisions, but this one affected Beau too. Was she sailing them into a storm?
Anna pulled her coat tighter around her as they approached the porch. Beau took his place dutifully at her side. The warmth of his body seeped into her side.
“Brittany. What are you doing here?” Anna asked, mustering every ounce of care and concern she’d been holding onto for weeks.
Shivering, Brittany just stared at her feet. She had to be freezing.
Anna unlocked the door and ushered Brittany inside. “Let’s get you warmed up.”
After taking her coat and leading Brittany to the couch, Anna made them all some hot tea while Beau started the fire.
While she prepared the kettle, Anna silently prayed for guidance and discernment. She couldn’t help Brittany if she didn’t want to open up about what she needed.
When Anna returned with mugs of hot tea, Brittany continued to stare into the fire. Beau sat in the recliner, but he remained on the edge of the seat.
Anna gently handed Brittany the tea. “Here. This should warm you up. How long have you been waiting?”
Brittany broke her trance and looked up at Anna. “A few hours.”
“Why didn’t you call me? I would have come sooner.”
Brittany inhaled a shaky breath. “I don’t know. I—I don’t know why I’m here.”
Anna sat beside Brittany on the couch. Resting a hand on Brittany’s shoulder, she whispered, “It’s okay. Maybe we can figure that out together.”
Brittany took a few more stuttering breaths, but they didn’t even out. Instead, the shaking grew worse until her entire body convulsed. “I’m just…lost.”
The tears came immediately, and Anna wrapped her arms around her friend. The emotions she’d been hiding for months broke free in gut-wrenching sobs.
Anna caught sight of Beau over Brittany’s head. His head was bowed and his eyes were closed. Was he praying? Probably. He didn’t have much experience with emotions, and if she knew Beau, he was asking for guidance in a situation he wasn’t equipped to handle.
“I…I should just quit. I should just end it all, and this pain would go away,” Brittany said, loud and sorrowful through her tears .
Anna tightened her hold. “No. Listen to me. We can do this together. I can’t promise to have all the answers, but I know someone who does.”
Brittany’s eyes widened. “Really? Who?”
“God. Our Heavenly Father. He’s the only one who knows us inside and out. He knows your struggles, and I believe He led you here for help. Let me try my best.”
Brittany shook her head. “You don’t understand.”
“Help me understand. I want to,” Anna begged.
Brittany’s chin quivered as she tried to gather the courage to speak. “You’ll hate me.”
“I can promise you that I won’t hate you,” Anna swore.
Sniffing, Brittany grabbed a tissue from a box on the end table. “I went to your wedding.”
The wedding that never actually happened. It wasn’t Anna’s wedding because she never married Dean. Her life had changed so much since then. Everything had fallen into place just as it was meant to—hard times and all.
“I invited you, but you never said you were coming. I’m sorry I didn’t see you there. When I heard about what Dean did, I just…ran.”
“I didn’t see you either, but I met your mother.”
No. Anna’s mom had been on a rampage that day. Olivia and Everly said Catherine screamed at everyone in her path after Anna left .
“What did she say?” Anna asked.
“I introduced myself because I was looking for you. She was furious with you for not staying, but when she found out I was your friend, she offered me a lot of money to…find you.”
The hit stung. Anna knew her mom was mad at her, but hiring someone—a friend—to spy on her was a breach of privacy. She’d needed space, but her mother wouldn’t allow it. Her mom had to have Anna under her control at all times.
“I’m guessing you took that offer?” Anna asked.
“I’m sorry,” Brittany sputtered. “I haven’t been able to keep a job with any of the designers you guided me to, and I thought I didn’t have anything to lose.”
“What do you mean?”
“I don’t have a job. My parents haven’t called me in years. I don’t have friends. It’s just me, and I betrayed the only friend I had.”
Anna squeezed Brittany’s hand. “I’m still your friend. I understand why you did what you did. My mother can be intimidating, so even if you hadn’t been vulnerable, she might have still been able to convince you to do it.”
“But I shouldn’t have said yes. You were my friend, and I snuck around looking for you. Then I gave her the information. It felt wrong at the time, and I did it anyway. I’m so sorry. ”
“I forgive you. Brittany, I forgive you. Do you understand what that means?”
Brittany wiped at her tear-stained face. “No. I don’t. Why would you do that?”
“Because we all make mistakes. You did what you thought was right at the time, and you didn’t know you could just come to me. If you needed money, I would have helped you. If you needed a friend, I would have been there for you. I’m here for you now.”
“I…I stopped taking my medicine,” Brittany said, low and thick as she held onto Anna’s hand.
“You don’t have to tell me what you take the medicine for. I love you no matter what it is, but I am here for you if you need support.”
“I didn’t think I deserved to feel normal after what I’ve done. Then I felt ugly on the inside after what I did.”
Anna took the mug of tea from Brittany’s hand and set it on the end table.
Wrapping Brittany in a tight embrace, she focused on breathing deeply and evenly.
“Listen to me carefully. You are not ugly, and you are not your mistakes or a diagnosis. You are human and flawed, but you are loved unconditionally by a Father who created you in His image.” Her breath rattled in her chest as she fought to keep control of the tears. “Can I pray with you?”
Brittany hesitated, then gave a small nod .
Anna bowed her head and closed her eyes, keeping a firm hold on Brittany’s hand.
“Father, I humble myself before You for my friend, Brittany. She’s lost and scared, but You are the one who can comfort us when we are alone and afraid.
Please wrap Your loving arms around her.
Let her feel your presence as she meets You in her darkest hour.
I also pray that You will show me how to be a good friend to her.
Thank You for the forgiveness You offer us whenever we come to You with our sins.
In the name of Jesus Christ I pray. Amen. ”
Brittany raised her head and sniffed. “I don’t understand that.”
“It’s okay. You don’t have to right away. It’s still hard for me to wrap my head around too.”
Brittany fidgeted with her fingers in her lap. “I just got scared whenever you would stop responding to me. You were all I had, and even though I needed the money your mom gave me, I was still alone.”
“You don’t have to be. You have me. But I have to ask, why did you come to the wedding without telling me?”
Brittany crumpled the tissue in her hand and straightened it back out again. “Because I designed your dress, and I wanted to surprise you by telling you in person.”
“You did? TrueBlue didn’t mention the designer, even when I asked. I had no idea it was you. ”
The dress was gorgeous. When TrueBlue sent her the design to approve, Anna loved it immediately. Brittany hadn’t even mentioned a partnership with the boutique.
“I asked them not to tell you because I wanted to be the one to tell you. I was so excited because I made it especially for you. I thought it would be the big break I needed too, but after you didn’t wear it at the wedding, they cut all ties with me.”
“And your beautiful dress was never seen. Brittany, I’m so sorry. I love that dress. It was perfect.”
Brittany’s tears began anew. “Nothing ever works out for me.”
Anna clasped her hands at her chest. “Please don’t give up. You are extremely talented, and I believe in you.”
The front door opened, and Dawson entered wearing his full police uniform. Though he usually wore a friendly expression, his jaw was set as he looked from Brittany to Anna.
“Everything okay here?” he asked.
Brittany tensed beside Anna. “You?—”
“He’s our friend,” Anna quickly said. “This is Dawson, Olivia’s husband. He lives here, and they’re letting me stay for a while until I find a place of my own.”
Beau stood and jerked his head toward the kitchen. “Let’s give them some privacy. ”
Dawson offered a hand to Brittany. “It’s nice to meet you. Anna told us about you.”
“I’m sorry for showing up unannounced,” Brittany said.
“It’s okay. Any friend of Anna’s is welcome here,” Dawson assured.
When the men left the room, Brittany wiped at her face again. “I should return the money your mom gave me.”
“Actually, I have an idea. Your decisions are up to you, but I’d like to talk about some ways you can use that money.”