Chapter 15
That nigga put his lips on me.
That. Nigga. Put. His. Lips. On. Me.
I stood in my living room staring at the door after Kane finally dragged his weird ass out of the house at three in the morning when the last Bad Boys movie went off.
That was my first kiss…if that’s what you wanted to call it because I definitely didn’t kiss him back and there was no tongue involved. I almost vomited thinking about swiping spit with Kane.
“It seems like he kind of likes you…”
Mama’s words came right to the forefront.
Loud and clear. Was she right all this time?
I just thought she was just being mama, seeing things that weren’t really there, but then I really thought about it.
Kane does spend all of his time with me when he could be anywhere in the world right now for spring break with the kind of money his family has.
He could be on a beach somewhere surrounded by the bad bitches.
But no, he had come home to be here with me. Why?
I wasn’t girly. I didn’t come from money. I didn’t dress with expensive threads. My hair wasn’t hanging down my back with the longest weave. I didn’t care about earrings or makeup. I barely remember to rub on lotion somedays. I was just…Slim. Scottie.
What was that kiss about?
As much as I wanted to text Kane and ask him what the hell his problem was, I chose to go to my room and let it go.
He’ll be gone back to school in a few days, and I’ll be finishing up my last few months of high school.
We were strictly friends. I didn’t even ask for that.
He just really came out of nowhere and forced his ass in my life.
My brain was so conflicted, I had to press my fingers on my temples and massage them.
Even if the kiss was more…I wouldn’t no a thing about kissing him back. I don’t know anything about being someone’s girlfriend. I don’t know how to be soft or how to let a nigga care for me. All I knew was how to survive, how to ball, and how to keep my head above water.
Wait, Scottie. I had to pump the brakes on myself. Why would I even think about being Kane’s girl? That was so weird. I didn’t have anyone to talk to about this except my mama and that was weird too.
In bed after handling my hygiene, I thought about what it would be like to actually be Kane’s girlfriend. Two ball players. Two different colleges. He didn’t bring it up, but I was sure Kane was knocking a few females down at LSU. He was an athlete. Hoes love athletes. Athletes loved the hoes.
Either way…it was just a thought that quickly disappeared as my eyes closed, dragging me into a restless sleep filled with confusing dreams of basketball, and soft, stupid lips.
Sitting outside on the steps two days later, I watched a kid’s birthday party down the way.
They were frying fish, kids were jumping in a bouncy house, and the older folks were cutting up to the music.
The projects could be a place of happiness at times, but I could never forget how it took my best friend.
My head turned to the left when I heard a car coming. That was my first instinct now. I was paranoid and anxious all the time since Vani’s death. My shoulders relaxed when I saw the white Bentley.
“There go yo’ lil’ boy frieeeend,” one of the hood niggas teased. “That lil’ nigga got it bad.”
I frowned. “You got it all wrong.”
One of the guys named Justin spat onto the grass. “Nah, you in denial, Slim,” he chimed in. “That nigga don’t care how rough it is over here. He don’t care ‘bout getting hemmed up and niggas jacking him. He still come over to see you. Nigga got heart.”
Kane pulled up, the engine purring. All the niggas had their eyes set on it. Kane climbed out, dressed in simple black joggers that hung off his hips and he was shirtless. The sun bounced off his silver chain around his neck. A pair of Griffey’s were on his feet.
“Nigga basic and still clean,” someone chuckled.
Ignoring the stares, Kane bopped over to me with a grin on his face. I mean showing all perfect thirty-twos as I he didn’t violate the other day.
“Hey, Slim,” he spoke before nodding his head at the guys. They all spoke back, one even joking asking him if he could take a spin in the Bentley.
“You be just popping up over here,” I told him without greeting him back.
Kane sat beside me and shrugged. “I know you’ll be around.”
“I could be busy,” I shot back.
He turned to me, his brown eyes digging into mine. “Busy doing what?”
“Stuff,” I mumbled.
“Let’s move around. They finna have a lover’s quarrel,” Justin joked, causing the guys to break out into laughter. I refused to entertain them.
Kane pointed at the moving bodies. “What they meant by that?”
I shook my head and picked my phone up. “They just talking. What you doin’ over here?”
“Why I always come over here?”
Our eyes met again when I cut my eyes in his direction. The front door open.
“Oh, hey, Kane,” Mama said through a yawn.
“How you doin’ Mama?” he replied, smirking at me. I nudged him with my elbow.
“Doing good. You ate?”
I turned around and eyeballed her. “You didn’t ask me if I ate.”
Mama waved me off playfully. “I know you did with that bowl sitting in my sink, Scottie.”
Kane snickered. “No, ma’am. I had breakfast on the way. Thank you.”
“You’re welcome, baby. I’m about to mop my floors, Slim. Stay outside for a while.”
I mumbled out an, “Okay,” and she closed the door.
“You want to go riding?” Kane asked, standing. “It’s too hot to just be out here.”
“You don’t even have a shirt on, nigga,” I cackled. “Coming over here like that.”
Kane looked down, running a hand down his bare chest. “I look good, don’t I? All fit ‘n shit.”
I groaned, standing and rolling my eyes. “Scrawny as fuck.”
“I know what ain’t…”
My eyes ballooned and so did Kane’s.
“My bad, Slim. I be forgetting I can’t play wit’ you like that,” he laughed, holding his hands up in surrender.
My face heated knowing exactly where he was leading too. Now, it was stuck in my head.
“Yeah, let’s go riding and don’t talk to me because you’re doing way too much. I’d hate to have to punch you in your throat.”
Kane guffawed. He started walking away with his hands inside the front of his pants. A walk that had a group of girls stopping to gawk. My eyes narrowed, but then I had to catch myself again.
This. Was. Not. My. Nigga.
We ended up at an axe throwing venue, just doing random shit. Just being teenagers and having fun. Kane and I were both super competitive which made it even more fun. Sweat was coating both of our faces in the end.
“I let you win,” he cackled as we sat in his car.
“Lies! You were trying your best, but my aim was just better,” I shot back, shoving his shoulder playfully.
The windows were cracked because the temp dropped just a tad bit.
The sky was getting dark because rain was on the horizon.
The cool air was a welcome relief after the heat of the venue.
The adrenaline from throwing axes was tickling my skin.
A deep rumble escaped from Kane’s mouth, causing my stomach to do flips. Why was my stomach doing flips?
“About the other night,” he started, making a left onto the main road. I opened my mouth, but Kane stopped me. “Let me talk, Slim. Before I leave, let me get this off my chest.”
I swallowed—hard, not knowing what Kane was about to say.
“I like you. Not like a friend…but more.”
I felt like I was about to vomit. I let my window down and stuck my head out.
“That kiss…I meant it, even if it was just for a second. I’m not trying to force it on you, Slim, but I…I want us to be together.”
“Pull over,” I gurgled.
Kane pulled over safely and I pushed the door open after unfastening my seat belt, leaning over and let the cereal from breakfast come up.
“Damn,” I heard him release. I stayed leaned over, my stomach heaving until there was nothing left but bile. My whole body was trembling. The cool air felt good against my sweaty forehead, but it did nothing to calm my insides down.
I heard Kane open his door, then his footsteps on the pavement. Luckily, we weren’t on a very busy road. I didn’t look up. I was embarrassed.
“Slim…” Kane said in a soft tone. He was standing a few feet away, giving me space that I appreciated. “You aight?”
I finally straightened and Kane reached out a KFC napkin to me. Wiping my mouth, I closed the door and closed my eyes after the leaning the seat back a little. All it took was someone to tell me they liked me for me to be sick.
“I’m tired of pretending,” Kane continued as he sat behind the wheel. His voice rose with frustration. “I’m tired of acting like I don’t feel this way.”
“We’re not supposed to be like that, Kane. We’re just…friends. Why mess that up?”
Kane started driving again, pulling back onto the road. “Alright. I respect it.”
I tried not to look over at him, but his jaw was clenching. Glancing away and out of the window, I wondered if our friendship was now ruined. He ruined it. One friend was gone…buried in the dirt, and the other…the other ruined it by his heart getting in the way of our friendship.
Back then, I wouldn’t have cared, but somehow my heart was beathing faster. My stomach was clenching. I was scared.
“Are you…mad?” I pushed out through a breath.
Kane shook his head, then said, “No.”
“Are we good?”
He nodded, but it didn’t come out of his mouth.
I tried not to let my feelings show, but this was new to me.
Very new. In my lap, my hands were trembling.
Holding my phone tighter in my right hand, didn’t help at all.
My left hand was balled up, my nails digging into my palms. Kane was trying to respect my boundary, buy it felt like he’d just built a wall between us, and I was on the wrong side of it.