Chapter Eight
J ulianna sat on Christine’s desk, pleading with her not to commit career suicide.
“I don’t care how good it is for my career. I can’t take the threats anymore. They come to my home, leave things on my car. It’s not just cyberbullying. It’s too close for comfort. I can’t hang out with him anymore.”
“I get it. I do. But geez, Christine. Are you really going to break all ties with Austin?”
“From a business perspective, no. There’s no way I can step back from Austin as a client.
I need him and Hit Songs needs him. From a personal one, let’s see.
Matt has a girlfriend so I’ve got a broken heart to deal with, and Austin is directly tied to it.
Remember when I said that was my fear? If I mixed business and pleasure, it could get awkward?
Well, here we are. My fear was real. And just to make things more fun, I get to have the fear of physical pain or death thanks to a stalker.
So, yeah, I’m going to break all personal ties. ”
“These are bound to be empty threats.”
“And what if they aren’t? What then? You can write on my grave, ‘but she was on a career roll.’”
“Not funny, Christine.” Julianna crossed her arms and pursed her lips.
“Do you see me laughing? Every part of my life has stress.”
“Something going on at work?” Julianna asked. “Something I should know about? I’ve gotten a couple of vibes from you and Rick. Is it all in my head?”
Christine thought about telling her what Rick had said, but they’d spoken in confidence. If he’d wanted the rest of the staff to know, he’d have told them. Since Julianna was his assistant and didn’t seem to know, Christine could only assume he wanted to keep it quiet.
“Just the normal stress of getting songs cut.”
“But you have Austin. Doesn’t that make it easier?” Julianna asked.
“Only if he actually records and releases one,” Christine said. If only she could talk about her daily concerns and the nonstop conversations she had with herself about how much to tell Austin and whether she should beg for his help or wait to see if it happened naturally.
“You know he’d choose your song if you directly asked him to,” Julianna said.
“I can’t. He’s an artist and has to choose the best song for himself. And on top of that, I need to ask him to stay clear of me. How do I say, ‘Hey, Austin, cut my song but stay away from me, please’?”
“Yeah, tough situation, for sure. I’m sorry, Christine. This sucks. It should be the best time of your life, and instead, some total bitch is ruining it for you. I wish I could find this person and put an end to it for you.”
“I know, and I love you for that.”
AFTER JULIANNA LEFT, CHRISTINE texted Austin: Let’s take a break for a while. Maybe the haters will go away if we don’t feed them.
He texted back, That’s crazy. Screw them. You’re my friend.
Please, Austin. For me. Let’s try it my way.
Her phone went silent as she waited for a reply. Fifteen minutes became thirty, which turned into an hour. She kept checking her phone to find nothing. At the end of the day, she packed up and went home.
Two hours later, there was a knock on her door. She gave an involuntary scream, tiptoed over to the peephole, and looked out. Austin was standing on her welcome mat. She undid the three bolt locks and opened the door.
“This is stupid, Chrissy. Don’t let them win.” Austin barged in.
“It’s not a matter of winning, Austin. It’s a matter of me wanting to stay alive. What if this person is crazy and tries to hurt me? Or kill me? What then?”
“They won’t. They just want to scare you.”
“Yeah? Tell that to the people in the grave who’ve been killed by stalkers. I’m out, Austin. I need a break, and you need to give it to me.”
“How long?”
“I don’t know.” Christine went into the living room and sat in the recliner.
“No,” he said. “I disagree with this. I think we forge ahead and force them to accept our friendship.”
She shook her head. “I don’t understand why you want to hang out with me so much.”
Austin sat on the couch across from her. “Why is it so hard for you to accept the fact that I like you?”
“Because cool guys like Austin Garrett don’t like nerdy girls like Christine Matthews.”
“Sure, they do. Don’t you watch Hallmark movies?” Austin said, a sly grin sneaking across his face.
“I do. Shocked that you do. But life isn’t a movie. And in the real world, the geek doesn’t get the hotshot.”
“Who the hell did this to you?”
“What do you mean?” She tried to appear defiant, but her voice quivered.
“You know damn well what I mean. Who made you feel this way about yourself?”
“Oh, Austin. It’s not a story you want to hear.” She got up and went to the kitchen, poured herself a glass of wine, and grabbed a beer for Austin.
He took it and clinked his bottle with her glass.
“I do want to hear it.”
“Well, I don’t want to tell it—or relive it. It’s in the past.”
“No, it’s not. It’s very much in the present. At least for you.”
Christine took in a breath and held it while Austin stared at her. It was as if he was waiting her out. His eyes held compassion. Concern. And something more that she couldn’t put a name to.
“Short Reader’s Digest version? I was bullied.
Of course, in hindsight, weren’t we all bullied to some degree in grade school?
But back then I didn’t have a big social circle, so I thought it was just happening to me.
In seventh grade, I went from being an average-sized kid to feeling gargantuan.
I grew five inches in one year and my body filled out.
While my friends were staying cute and petite, I was growing hips and breasts like a full-grown woman.
I had the body of everyone’s mom. And remember, this was all before fat shaming became taboo.
Sadly, nobody seemed to have a problem with it back then.
With my crazy, curly, unruly hair, I was called everything from ape-girl to Sasquatch.
There was another Christine in our class, but she was Cute Christine.
I was Ugly Christine. They found a way to differentiate us so nobody would confuse us.
No guy wanted to say he thought Christine was pretty and have people think he meant me. ”
Christine paused. She had to think fast. She didn’t want to tell him everything.
She closed her eyes, not wanting to remember that moment but unable to stop it from coming to the surface.
It was Senior Spirit Night and there was a big pep rally at school.
Her parents had insisted that she go, despite her protests.
They thought it would be a way for her to bond with classmates and have fun.
It wasn’t. She sat alone in the bleachers.
The four guys sitting behind her were drunk.
She could smell the beer on their breath.
They harassed her, pulling her hair and calling her names.
They talked about her like she couldn’t hear them.
She moved. They moved behind her. She moved again.
They followed. It was a game to them. She wanted to get up and leave but was afraid to be alone in the parking lot.
What if they followed her? She tried to ignore them, and when the rally ended, she got up and headed directly outside.
But even with a crowd of people leaving, they still followed and encircled her.
One of the guys was big, a wrestler, and he seemed to be the leader.
“I bet you’ve never even been kissed, have you? ”
Christine stayed silent.
“I’ll tell you what. I’ll take one for the team. I’ll give you your first kiss.”
The hair on Christine’s neck stood up. Unbridled fear.
The body reacts before the mind catches up.
Why wasn’t anyone else noticing this and helping her?
Her classmates walked by, talking with one another, laughing.
How could they not see what was happening in front of them?
She thought about screaming but worried she’d make the guys mad.
What would they do if they were angry? And her classmates still might not help her.
“Bryan, that’s so gross. You’re kissing Sasquatch?” said one of them.
“Just trying to do my civic duty and help the ugly one out. Can’t only kiss the pretty girls, can we? What do you say, Christine?”
“I say no.” She said it quietly but with conviction.
“No? You’re saying no to me?” He gave a sardonic huff.
“I said no.” Her body shook from the inside. Bile rose to her throat. She swallowed it, refusing to let them see how scared she was.
Bryan’s cheeks reddened and his voice rose in pitch. “You’re not only ugly but gutless. Scared of a little kiss, are we? Chrissy is a sissy. Who knew?” He punched the guy next to him, who nodded in agreement.
They chanted “Chrissy is a sissy” over and over.
Christine felt tears coming. She closed her eyes tight to keep them from falling, and when she wasn’t looking, Bryan’s big hands grabbed her, pulling her against his body.
Her eyes flew open. She couldn’t move. They always talk about fight or flight, but what about freeze?
She froze. He brought his mouth down on hers and ground his lips against her teeth.
“Oh, yeah. Now she’s getting it. Put the ol’ tongue in there, Bryan,” one of his friends yelled.
“Grab her big juicy tit,” another voice said.
He’d tried to force his tongue into her mouth, but she’d clamped her lips shut.
His hand squeezed her breast, hard. It hurt.
She slammed both of her hands against his chest, trying to push him away, but he was so big he didn’t move.
Her brain couldn’t catch up to think ahead of those brutes.
She was smarter than they were, but this wasn’t about intelligence. This was physical and raw and mean.
His friends circled closer. They were within a foot of her and Bryan, shielding what was happening so nobody else could see.
“Hey, Bryan. How about we move her to the shaggin’ wagon and really show her what you’ve got?” one of the guys said.