Chapter Eighteen #2
Christine looked over her right shoulder and saw Matt walking toward her. When he got close enough to see the items she was putting on the conveyor, he blushed.
“Is there some sort of menstrual fairy that lets you know when I’m here buying this crap?” she asked.
“Uh, no. I guess we’re just this lucky,” he said.
“Hi,” Christine said.
“Hi.”
Matt remained by her side as the clerk scanned her items. Christine felt anxious.
She tried to remember her relaxation techniques, but nothing worked.
She hadn’t been this close to Matt since the morning after they’d made love.
Had it already been four weeks? She had come a long way in working through the trauma and was slowly getting her emotions in check, but Matt was in a league of his own when it came to stirring up her feelings.
She paid for her purchases and faced the man she loved.
“Well, it was good to see you.”
He pointed to Starbucks.
“I really need to get home and—”
“Please.” He dropped his head and let his eyes peer up at her. Then he put his hands in a praying position.
He looked so cute. She couldn’t say no. She owed him this. She owed herself this.
“Okay.”
She ordered her usual chai and he got a coffee. He paid and they sat down.
“Matt, I—”
“Please let me start.”
“Okay.”
“These have been the longest weeks of my life, not knowing how you’d feel coming out of Oasis.
I know trauma can take a long time to heal from, and I’m a direct connection to Austin and Alicia.
There were times when I felt like it was someone on the road, maybe even in our crew, and I watched people so closely.
I feel guilty I couldn’t do more to help you. ”
“You caught those two in the beginning and fired them,” Christine said.
“I did. But they were just copycats. I should have figured it out earlier. I owed you and Austin better than that. I failed.”
“You didn’t fail anything. She was good, and smart, and calculating.
I never suspected her because she was so nice to me.
We suspected Phoebe because she wasn’t nice to me.
But that should have been the flag that it wasn’t her.
We don’t think like cruel people, Matt. And that’s a good thing,” Christine said, reaching across the table to put her hand on his arm.
“Thank you for trying to make me feel better. And you’re right, we don’t think that way. But it has made me double down on doing background checks on the entire crew.”
“Would that have caught Alicia?”
“No. It wouldn’t. But it might catch someone else. Every time something else happened, I had so much pain for you. Watching it happen was devastating. Especially to someone like you. Someone I cared so much for. Felt so much for,” Matt said, putting his hand on top of Christine’s.
“Felt?” Christine’s chest constricted. Were his feelings for her in the past?
“Felt then and feel now. I love you, Christine. When I assumed I was competing with Austin, I let it go. When I found out I wasn’t, I dared to have hope.”
“What now?” Christine asked.
“I’ve been respectful and given you the space you asked for. Hardest thing I’ve ever had to do was leaving you alone when I felt you needed me the most. I want you in my life, Christine. And I don’t want to wait another minute. How about dinner? My place, tonight. I’m cooking.”
“Your place? Need I remind you of today’s purchases?”
“This isn’t about sex. This is about you and me having a date. Sex isn’t what I’m looking for.”
“What are you looking for?” Christine asked.
“Nothing. Everything,” he said, and Christine melted. His eyes met hers and he looked at her in a way no other man ever had. She saw a mix of love, admiration, and respect.
Christine’s eyes threatened to fill with tears. She was tired of crying and wanted to regain her composure. She needed to move, keep busy. She stood, gathering her stuff.
Matt stood, too, and threw away their empty cups. He reached for her bags and walked her to her car.
She opened the door, and he put her purchases inside on the seat. Then he closed the door, gently pushed her back against it, and put his hands on either side of her.
She wrapped her arms around his neck and he leaned in. He hovered above her lips, giving her a chance to say no.
She didn’t.
She felt his entire body meld with hers as he kissed her, fully and completely.
He pulled away and nuzzled her ear. “Christine?”
“Yes?”
“I’m calling in my rain check.”
CHRISTINE HUMMED TO HERSELF as she cleaned her condo. After seeing Matt at Target, she’d decided to take the day off. Her cramps were gone, and she felt great. She thought of the Claritin commercial when the film is stripped away; the sky becomes blue again and the grass looks greener.
She texted Julianna: Matt and I have a dinner date tonight at his place. He’s cooking.
Woo-hoo! Should I wait up to hear about it or is it a sleepover?
I was at Target buying tampons.
So, he loves you even when you’re not a sure thing.
Apparently so. Who would have thought? Christine texted.
I would. Have fun. I’ll have a cup of hot tea or wine waiting when you get home.
CHRISTINE TOOK HER TIME getting ready. A long, hot shower felt good.
She let her hair air dry and chose comfortable jeans and a casual yet fitted T-shirt.
She could be herself with Matt. That felt nice.
She started to walk out of her bedroom, paused at the door, and walked back to her closet.
She took out her high school yearbook and opened it to the senior pictures.
She turned the pages, finding each of the guys who had circled her that night. She paused longer on Bryan’s photo.
“You guys suck,” she said. “You’re abusive assholes who will never understand what you did to me.
But you will no longer rule my relationships with men.
It’s over. This fear that has followed me around since that night is gone.
I win. Christine Matthews survived. Chrissy is not a damn sissy. She’s one strong hell of a woman.”
She slammed the book shut, put it back on the shelf, and walked away. Then she went back, took the yearbook out, and looked at Bryan’s photo again. He looked like a kid now, although still big and burly. What was wrong with you that you did that to me?
She thought about all she’d learned in Bible study. Then she remembered the Kane Brown song “Learning” and its message of forgiveness. There was only one thing that would make her truly move on. “Bryan, I forgive you,” she said.
She stuffed the yearbook back in its place. As she left her apartment, she felt lighter. The sky looked clearer than ever before. The stars shined brighter. It was a good day to start the rest of her life.
CHRISTINE STOOD ON MATT’S DOORSTEP. At that moment, she decided to take the job with Austin.
Not only because he offered more money than she was paid at Hit Songs Publishing, but also because she’d be part of something that would be hers as well as his.
She’d be able to stay in her condo and pay for it herself.
It had taken thirty years for Christine Matthews to figure out who she was and what she was worth.
She had a lot of catching up to do. But she was ready to start.
She rang the bell.