Chapter 63
CHAPTER
The team carry me from the stage with the European Publisher of the Year trophy lying in the folds of my skirt, like a very well-behaved lap dog. Once I hit the carpet, I wheel myself at speed to the back of the room.
‘Ahmet. Hi.’ My eyes lock on Ahmet’s knees, too awkward to look up. ‘You managed to get in without a ticket. Well done. I hear the security here is pretty tough –’
‘Shall we talk?’ Ahmet asks.
‘Yes.’ I swallow. ‘I think that’s a good idea. Let’s go outside.’
It’s cold and dark outside the Kaiserhaal, and I shiver in my velvet dress.
‘You’re cold.’ Ahmet removes his jacket and places it around my arms. ‘Here. Take this. I suppose congratulations are in order.’
‘Thank you.’
‘It was wonderful to see you up there with the team. Katerina, about you and Freddy –’
I take a deep breath. ‘Ahmet, you’re a wonderful man. But …’
‘I knew there was a but coming.’ Ahmet gives a short, nervous laugh. ‘How long has it been going on?’
‘Nothing has been going on.’ I take a deep, shuddering breath. ‘Ahmet, you’re wonderful, but being with you would be settling. Tonight has shown me that miracles can happen. I can have more than I ever dreamed possible.’
‘Katerina.’ Ahmet takes my hands. ‘I can do better. Please. Give me another chance. I admit, maybe I’ve come to this relationship a little too … practically. My family want me to get married and that has overshadowed what should be a more passionate meeting of minds –’
‘Ahmet, you haven’t done anything wrong,’ I say.
‘But I want love with a capital L. The kind my mother was thinking about when she helped make the Meeting Place Statue at St Pancras station. Two people who set each other’s worlds alight.
I don’t know if I’ll find it in my lifetime.
But I’m going to hold out for it, nonetheless. ’
I slide Ahmet’s engagement ring off my finger and pass it to him. ‘Thank you. For everything. You’ll make some lucky girl a wonderful husband.’
‘I understand.’ Ahmet gives me a tired smile. ‘I’ll take you back to the hotel. And then I’ll get packed and hop on the next flight back to London.’
‘Okay,’ I tell Ahmet. ‘I’d still like us to be friends.’
Ahmet manages the glimmer of a smile. ‘Yes. I’d like that too. You know, fairy tales are simple. It’s the believing that’s hard work.’