Chapter Eleven Alex
When we step into the clerk’s office, my first thought is: we are in the wrong fucking place. Every surface is covered in wedding photos and paraphernalia. White bunting decorating the front of her desk says: ‘Just married.’ From the aged look of it, ‘just’ was a long time ago.
Several wedding photos line the back wall, with the largest frame featuring the brunette woman sitting behind the desk and another woman with bright pink hair exchanging vows.
The other pictures are too small to see if the clerk herself is in them, but the subjects remain clear: women in white, men in tuxedos, bridesmaids in every color of the rainbow.
Then there are the wedding toppers lining the top of the file cabinets.
Some of them look antique, the clothes old fashioned and the paint chipped.
Others are novelty, with cartoon characters from every major franchise tying the knot.
There aren’t any of the ‘ball and chain’ joke toppers, only ones that show loving couples in happily wedded bliss.
We are definitely in the wrong place.
“Good morning!” the clerk exclaims, standing up to greet us. “I’m Stephanie, it’s nice to meet you both.” She makes a point of offering us her left hand.
As I shake her hand, my eyes are drawn to the large solitaire diamond engagement ring and the wedding band next to it. Does she insist on shaking left-handed so she can show it off? I wonder if she’s newly married and still excited or if it’s a habit she cultivated years ago.
She settles behind her desk and gestures for us to sit down.
Then she leans forward and whispers, like she’s confiding a big secret, “I love weddings. Issuing the marriage license is my favorite part of the job. And I’m not supposed to be biased, I know, but I reserve a special place in my heart for queer weddings.
” She picks up a rainbow flag from the mug on her desk and waves it in the air to emphasize her point.
Once she finishes showing her pride, she plunks it back in the mug. It clinks and rattles for a moment before settling, the sound echoing in the room because Euan and I are too stunned to say anything.
“So, let’s get your application started!” She pulls forms out from a stack on her desk and lays them before us. “Dylan said you had some special circumstances?”
Special circumstances? A strangled noise escapes my throat.
At least Euan manages to find his voice. “He didn’t explain the whole situation to you, did he?”
For the first time, Stephanie’s enthusiasm dims. “No, he just said you had a few concerns?”
I glare over my shoulder at the closed door, hoping Dylan can feel my disapproval at his understatement. Few concerns, my ass. I bet he purposefully didn’t tell her we didn’t want to be married so he wouldn’t have to deal with her response.
“We were married in a virtual ceremony Saturday night and are questioning the legitimacy of it,” Euan explains. “Dylan couldn’t find us in the system, so he said we’d need to speak to you.”
“Oh, of course! Virtual marriages were all the rage a few years ago”—she gives us a significant look, implying the reason without spelling it out—“but they’re not as popular these days, so the ins-and-outs are a little murkier.
I always recommend an in-person wedding whenever it’s at all possible to avoid any issues. What service did you use?”
“Virtual Vows.”
She winces and hisses through her teeth.
I sit up straighter at her response. “Are they a scam?” Please be a scam, I repeat in my head, as if I can manifest that result into existence.
She hesitates before explaining, “They aren’t a scam, they are a legitimate service.”
I slump back in my seat. Euan brushes the back of his fingers over my hand, the gesture comforting but all too brief. He pulls away after only a second.
“The problem is the price. If you apply for a marriage license with me, it’s under fifty dollars, even if you need expedited processing. Through Virtual Vows, well …”
“It’s six hundred,” I mutter.
“Six hundred!” she exclaims, then whispers a quiet apology. “Sorry, but the last time I checked, it was only three hundred.”
“We paid for expedited,” Euan explains, his expression flat.
“Wow, you guys were really eager to get married.”
I sigh and put my head in my hand. “We were drunk.”
She winces. “Oh. That complicates some things.”
I perk up, sitting straighter in my seat. I feel like a spring someone is playing with, stretching it taut and letting it bounce back into shape. “Because it invalidates the marriage?” I ask hopefully.
“Let me review everything first,” she says, turning back to her computer.
“It looks like they sent me the full package on Saturday night. They’ve got your application for the license, copies of your government identification, the signed certificate, and the required video of the ceremony.
” After a few clicks, she pops an earbud into one ear.
Her brow furrows in concentration as she watches something on the screen.
The minutes crawl by at a snail’s pace. My leg starts jiggling, shaking mine and Euan’s chairs.
By now, Theresa would have grabbed my thigh, forced me to be still.
Euan does nothing. I almost wish he would, even if it’s only the brief touch from earlier.
I imagine his large hand splaying across my thigh to keep me in place.
Or maybe to spread me open wider so he can—
“Alright!” Stephanie exclaims.
I freeze like I’ve been caught with my hand down my pants. The fantasy didn’t go nearly that far but I’m still embarrassed about the brief images.
She removes her earbud and focuses on Euan and me. “Everything appears to be in order. Barring any surprises in the final document review, you two are legally married.”
“Even though we were drunk?” Euan asks.
“That’s where things get complicated. If you were drunk, that can invalidate the marriage because both parties need to give their informed consent.
” Her earlier enthusiasm drains away and without it the room seems a little dimmer, the whites dingier.
“However, it’s not an automatic process, you’ll need to file for an annulment. ”
“Alright, an annulment.” I look at Euan again, but his expression is too difficult to read. Is he in shock? “Can we do the annulment with you?”
Stephanie shakes her head. “No, you need to file it with the court. And I highly recommend you consult a lawyer first.” She opens her desk drawer and withdraws several business cards. “These are from local lawyers who should be able to help you.”
I accept the cards, then flinch at the name on the very first one: Theresa Ackers. I carefully set that card back on her desk and review the others, also removing any who work at Theresa’s firm. No reason to involve her or any of her coworkers in my annulment.
“Thanks,” I say as I slip the cards into my pocket.
“I’m sorry I couldn’t give you better answers,” Stephanie says. All her opinions on weddings and marriage are now securely hidden behind a wall of professionalism.
She stands up and I take that as my cue to stand as well. Euan remains seated for a moment before he joins us and walks to the door.
Euan still hasn’t said anything by the time we reach the parking lot. Once we’re in the car and have some semblance of privacy I ask, “What’re you thinking about?”
The question finally pulls him from his reverie, and his dark eyes focus on me.
He reaches out and brushes a thumb over my cheek.
I freeze at the touch, not sure what he means by it.
It’s so light it tickles and yet the weight of it lingers like a permanent mark on my skin.
“Selfishly, I’m happy it wasn’t a normal one-night stand.
That I’ll have you in my life a little longer.
” His hand drops into his lap. “But it’s not that simple.
There will be legal fees and court dates.
We have no idea how long the process takes, which will complicate dating. ”
My heart clenches at the idea of him dating someone else. I imagine him brushing me aside, explaining ‘Oh, him? He’s nothing. Just a drunken mistake. You’re the one I really want, baby.’ A surprising jolt of jealousy surges through me.
“What are you going to tell Theresa?”
I shove the imaginary figures off a cliff and refocus on the real Euan in front of me. “What?”
“About the marriage,” he says. “You’ll need to tell her before you get back together.”
Oh shit, he was talking about me. I was so focused on his hypothetical relationships that I’d forgotten about my own.
“I don’t know. I think …” I trail off as I try to wrangle my thoughts back toward Theresa.
“That even if you and I weren’t married, I’m not ready to revisit my relationship with her.
It’s too soon. If you’re going to break up, you should at least stay broken up for a week, right?
Or maybe a month. Really give yourself time to think about it. ”
“My personal rule is ten years,” Euan offers.
“Ten years?!” The concept is baffling. I sometimes struggle to picture myself five years from now, let alone ten. For some reason, it feels different to put a timeline on it rather than thinking about the vague notion of ‘forever.’
“Long enough for them to change and grow without you, so it feels like you’re meeting a whole new person.”
“Oh, so you’re saying that if we stay married for ten years, I’ll be married to a whole new Euan?” The question slips out before I realize I probably shouldn’t joke about remaining married while actively seeking an annulment.
He grins, the air of solemnity slowly melting away. “And I’d be married to a whole new Alex.”
“How about we focus on this Alex and Euan’s marriage first?” I pull out the business cards and hold them out to him in a fan. “Pick a card, any card.”
Although his smile has faded, amusement clings to the corners of his lips. He plucks a card from the fan and offers it to me. “This one.”
“Alright, we’ll call Richard Beiler first.” I call the number on the card and wait for the receptionist to pick up.
“Bailey, Beiler, and Pratchett, how can I help you?”
“Hi, my … husband and I were hoping to meet with Richard Beiler to speak to him about an annulment.”
“An annulment?” The only hint of her surprise is a slight inflection. “Let me check his schedule.” She puts me on hold for a few minutes before returning. “If you’d like to speak with him today, he has an opening in his schedule at eleven a.m. Otherwise, he has some availability next week.”
“Today would be perfect! You said eleven?”
“Yes, sir. Can I get the name of you and your spouse please?”
I give her mine and Euan’s information, then confirm two more times that she means for today at eleven. She verifies the date and time without any change in tone. “Thank you, we’ll see him then.”
“So, today at eleven?” Euan asks, his lips twitching.
“I wanted to be sure,” I reply defensively, though I feel an answering smile try to break through. I glance at the clock. It’s just past nine, which means we have a couple of hours until the appointment. Since I took the whole day off, there’s nothing else for me to do except hang out with Euan.
I put the car in drive and start heading back to the hotel. As I do, a new thought occurs to me. “Have you booked a room for the rest of the week?”
“Not yet. I should probably talk to the front desk about it when we get back.”
“Don’t.” It’s not the most articulate protest but it spills out faster than I can organize my thoughts.
He arches an eyebrow, waiting for me to explain.
“I mean, you don’t need to keep wasting money on a hotel. You’re my husband, even if it’s only temporary. You can stay with me.”
“Should you be inviting a stranger into your home? What if I rob you blind?”
I snort. “Anything you steal I’ll take back in the settlement.”
“I don’t know if annulments have settlements. I think that’s just divorces.”
Since I can’t think of another quippy remark, I settle for sincerity instead. “Seriously, Euan. If you want to come stay with me, my home is open to you.”
He’s quiet for a moment, his gaze locked on me, as if he’s waiting for me to snatch the invitation away.
Like Nick did.
“Alright,” he finally says with a soft smile. “I really appreciate the offer.”
Every smile from him, no matter how small or fleeting, warms my heart a little.
Euan said he likes having this connection to me, even with all the complications, even though we both know it will end.
If I’m honest, I understand the appeal. From the beginning, we’d been drawn to each other, two people seeking a light in the darkness.
Maybe we can still be that for each other during our marriage, however short-lived it is.