Chapter Twenty-Nine Alex
As soon as my alarm goes off, I snatch up my phone and check the text messages. Nothing. Just in case, I also check school closing notices—double nothing—and my email—triple nothing. Dammit, that means I have to go to work.
Groaning, I drop my phone on the pillow beside me and roll my head to the side. The bed is empty. Of course it is, because I went to bed alone last night.
After dinner, I’d curled up in Euan’s lap like a needy little cat. I meant to initiate another round of experimenting—or at least a little bit of making-out—but at some point I actually fell asleep. By the time I woke up, we weren’t even watching the same movie anymore.
Euan had practically carried me back to my bedroom and then he just …
left me here. Returned to his own room to sleep alone.
At the time, I was too tired and groggy to ask, but now I can’t help but wonder: did he not want to share a bed with me because I accidentally hit him when I woke up yesterday, or because sleeping next to each other is outside the bounds of our relationship?
The night before might have been an exception. The power was out. The storm was still active. We’d fooled around in the shower. Sleeping together could have just been part of aftercare, like when we snuggled on the couch yesterday morning.
It wasn’t aftercare when you cuddled with him last night. I grab the other pillow and cover my face with it, as if to smother the confusing thoughts. A lingering scent of sweet peaches clings to the pillowcase and I freeze, holding my breath.
Fuck, this was Theresa’s pillow.
I mean, it’s my pillow, but it was the one she always slept on. It still smells like her because it hasn’t even been two weeks since she last slept here. Because it’s only been a week since we broke up.
Somehow, I keep forgetting that, as if she wasn’t a big part of my life for a year and a half. Maybe it’s just because Euan is living here, but he seems so much more … filling. Like he’s crawled inside my head, made himself at home. Pushed other things aside to make room for himself.
Knock knock. “Alex? I heard your alarm go off.”
“I’ll be out in a minute,” I reply, the sound muffled by the pillow.
By the time I’m showered and dressed, breakfast is already on the table. I pause and look it over, noticing that he made chocolate chip pancakes. Since I don’t own any box mix, he must have made them from scratch. “Are you trying to spoil me or one-up me?” I ask, taking my seat.
Euan chuckles as he sips his coffee and doesn’t answer my question. He eyes me up and down, gaze lingering on the button-up shirt. “So, you have work today.” It’s a neutral statement. I can’t tell whether or not he’s disappointed.
“Yeah, seems like the power is back on.”
He nods and focuses on his breakfast without other comment.
Once we finish eating, I clean up the table and Euan grabs his laptop.
We head for the door at the same time, getting ready in silence.
Half my mind is already focused on my to-do list for the day, both to catch up after yesterday’s unexpected day off and to prepare for my afternoon off tomorrow.
Only working one-and-a-half days this week has really thrown off my schedule.
“Okay, I’ll see you after work,” I say, leaning up to kiss Euan’s cheek.
We both freeze. It was an automatic motion, leftover from a long-term relationship filled with casual gestures of affection. The beard tickling my face is definitely new and different though. Settling back on my feet, I clear my throat awkwardly. “Sorry, I—”
Euan’s large hands grab my face, holding me in place as his mouth descends on mine.
It’s not a quick, casual kiss. His tongue parts my lips and dives inside, devouring me like he’s eating Second Breakfast. I grab onto his shirt, twisting the fabric in my hands.
It doesn’t even cross my mind to push him away—if anything, I’m pulling him closer, sucking on the tongue invading my mouth.
I don’t know how long passes before he pulls away and whispers in my ear, breath hot against my cheek, “See you tonight.”
He leaves first, and I just stand there in my open doorway, dazed and wanting.
I end up being very late for work.
Work has never felt like such a chore before. Usually, when I’m busy, there’s not enough time in the day. But today, even as I correspond with half a dozen people, bounce from meeting to meeting, and process every document as soon as it lands on my desk, the minutes seem to crawl by.
I glance at the clock for the hundredth time this afternoon: three-thirty-five. I groan and drop my head into my hands. What do you mean I have an hour and a half left? All I want to do is rush home to see Euan again.
“Hey, boss, I was wondering—”
“No,” I say automatically, not even looking up at Felix.
“Aw, come on, you don’t even know what I want to ask.”
“You want to take tomorrow off, and the answer is no.”
Felix makes a noise of complaint, then calls over his shoulder, “Jazz, I thought you were working tomorrow.”
“I am,” she calls from the other room.
Sighing, I finally look up to find Felix giving me a disgruntled look.
“If Jazz is here, why can’t I take it off?” he demands.
“First, unless it’s an emergency, you’re supposed to notify me two weeks ahead of time before taking time off.”
His scowl deepens. “You never enforce that rule.”
“Maybe I should enforce it more often going forward.”
He stares at me for a moment, then very deliberately raises his hand to his mouth and coughs twice. “I’m sick.”
“Second,” I continue as if he hasn’t said anything. “I won’t be here tomorrow afternoon.”
Felix stares at me for a long moment, then slowly backs out of the room. “Jazz, I think our boss has been replaced by an alien replica of himself.”
Jasmine appears in the doorway next to him, her giant pink headphones resting on her neck. She narrows her eyes at me and says, “Or possessed by a demon.”
“Why would a demon have him take time off? Don’t you think it’s purpose of possessing him would be to infiltrate the college to corrupt everyone here?”
Sometimes, I wonder how much money the college pays them to read on the clock. Our office is one of the busier ones, but I know Jasmine usually listens to audiobooks rather than music. “I have not been replaced or possessed—I just need some time off.”
“For the second time this week,” Felix replies.
“And we had yesterday off,” Jasmine adds.
They both narrow their eyes at me, searching for some sign that I’m not really their boss.
My hand twitches with the urge to slap it over my neck. Euan hasn’t left any hickeys—I checked this morning and again at lunch—but I can feel the ghost of his lips across my skin, so tangible that I’m worried they’ll see the marks too.
Jasmine suddenly gasps and clasps a hand over her mouth. “I know what it is.”
I tense at her words. She can’t possibly know, right? I didn’t even explain to my boss why I need tomorrow off, I just said there’s a legal matter I need to deal with and that it won’t reflect badly on the college.
Felix’s head swivels back and forth between us. “Well, come on! Let me in on the secret!”
“He’s gonna propose to Theresa!” Jasmine exclaims, her voice rising to an excited squeal. “Of course you need the afternoon off! You have to make it absolutely perfect!”
The blood drains from my face. Both of my subordinates met Theresa when I brought her to college functions, but I generally don’t talk about my personal life at work.
Certainly not enough to tell either of them that we broke up, or anything about Euan.
There are plenty of openly queer employees at the college—Nick included—but that doesn’t mean I’m ready to be one of them.
At least not while my identity is tangled up in a legal mess.
“I’m not—”
“Oh my god,” Felix interrupts. “No wonder you’ve been so distracted this week. That’s gotta be terrifying—what if she says no?”
Jasmine elbows him. “Don’t put those thoughts in his head!” Then she beams at me. “She’ll definitely say yes!”
The irony claws through me, settling into a heavy weight in my chest. Not only are her assurances wrong, they’re a week late. I’m not about to explain the breakup, the marriage, or anything about my current relationship with Euan, so I just say, “Both of you need to get back to work.”
“Don’t worry, boss, I won’t call off tomorrow,” Felix says before dipping out of my office.
Jasmine grins and gives me two thumbs up, mouthing, “Good luck” before she pulls her headphones back on.
I grimace and glance at the clock again: three-forty-two. How did that conversation only take seven minutes? The least they could do is waste enough time for me to go home now.
Slowly, my eyes move to my jacket hanging on the wall.
To the bulge on the righthand side. As casually as possible, I stand up and stroll over to my jacket, grabbing the small bag I’d hastily stuffed inside the pocket this morning.
It wasted a few extra minutes while I was already late, but Euan’s kiss riled me up enough that I needed some time to cool down anyway.
The plastic bag is wrapped up tight, hiding the contents. If anyone finds out I brought this to work, I’ll at least have a very strange, awkward meeting with my boss, if I’m not fired on the spot. It’s definitely a risk I shouldn’t have taken.
And yet …
I slip the bag into my pants pocket, which is deep enough that even if someone notices the new lump, they’ll probably guess it’s my wallet or phone. When I enter the main office, both Jasmine and Felix are focused on their work—or at least on their computers.
“Going down the hall,” I say.
Jasmine’s headphones are back on, so she doesn’t hear me.
Felix nods in acknowledgement, dark brows furrowed as he glares at his screen.
Thankfully, they’re both done interrogating me for the day.