Chapter 3 #2
Thinking about her therapist brought to mind the strange dream she had this afternoon. Gabe had twisted her up like a pretzel then demanded she confess. She wasn't sure what he wanted her to confess, nor how her body contorted like that, so the whole thing left her feeling confused.
She'd read somewhere the brain processed emotions and consolidated memories while dreaming. What emotions and memories did she need to process from her PT session?
She recalled the way Gabe caught and held her secure in his strong arms. His concern and tenderness made her want to tell him exactly what drove her to dart in front of a car.
She hadn't told anyone the full truth about Phillip, and apparently it was eating at her so badly it affected her dreams now.
She’d cried so many tears while in the hospital she thought she’d processed all the emotions from his deceit, but maybe she still had some unresolved issues.
"Paige?" Judging by the look on Riley's face, she'd said her name more than once.
"Sorry." She gave Riley a sheepish look. "What did you say?"
"Where do you want to go?"
"Anywhere. I don't care." She waved her hand in a circular motion, ending with pointing out the window. "Let's drive up to the bluff."
"Are you okay?" Worry lines creased Riley's forehead.
"Of course, I'm fine." Paige pasted on a smile then changed the subject. "Where's Daniel tonight?"
"At his AA meeting."
"That's right. I'm glad he's still going."
"Me too." Riley put the Jeep into gear and backed out of the driveway. "He just started mentoring a guy who is ten years older than him."
"That's great."
They talked as Riley drove north of town, then turned to the east before hitting the Double Diamond Ranch that had been Paige's second home growing up.
Even though it felt like old times, Paige's chest grew tighter with each mile.
She didn't want everyone to know what happened with Phillip, but she needed to talk to someone.
And Riley was her person. She talked to Riley about everything.
Riley had barely put the Jeep into park on top of the bluff before she grinned at Paige. "I've got a secret I've been dying to tell someone."
Paige smiled back at her best friend. She loved that she was Riley's person too. "What kind of secret?" She suspected she already knew, but she played along.
"I'm pregnant!" Riley said with a squeal. "But you can't tell anyone yet. We're trying to decide how to announce it to our families."
"Congratulations!" Paige carefully leaned over and hugged Riley with feigned enthusiasm. No, not feigned. She was truly happy for her cousin, but her own secret put a massive damper on her ability to be cheerful.
They chatted for several minutes about Riley's morning sickness, her due date, and whether they were going to find out the gender, then Paige couldn't fight it anymore. "There's something I need to tell you," she blurted out. "Phillip was cheating on me."
"What?" Riley's smile disappeared as she turned wide eyes on Paige. "Are you serious?"
"Dead serious." Paige held her gaze. "Actually, he was using me..." She jabbed a finger into her chest. "To cheat on his fiancée."
"He's engaged?" Riley's eyes grew even wider, and her jaw dropped. She looked so comical Paige would have laughed if she wasn't so miserable.
"Well, he's married now, and she's—" Paige's voice broke as the emotions of that terrible Valentine's Day rushed to the surface all over again. "Sh-she was very pretty and nice, c-considering the circumstances."
"Wait, you met her?" Riley unbuckled her seat belt and shifted to face Paige. "Like actually talked to her?"
"She showed up at Tulio's on Val-Valentine’s Day before Phillip did." Snot and tears ran down Paige's face now, but she didn't care.
She thought she’d worked through Phillip’s deceit, but apparently, she hadn’t even started. All the tears she’d shed in the hospital had simply been her grieving the loss of what could have been.
"She ambushed you and told you she was dating Phillip too? And you believed her just like that?" Riley grabbed napkins from the glove compartment and handed them to Paige.
"No, not just like that." Paige mopped at her face. "She said she'd been engaged to Phillip for almost a year, but I didn't believe her—even though she had an engagement ring—until she showed me a picture on her phone of her and Phillip at her ultrasound appointment."
"Ultrasound?" Riley's mouth dropped open again. "She's pregnant?"
A new rush of tears filled Paige's eyes as she nodded. "They got m-married last month."
"That lying, cheating louse!" Riley smacked the steering with the palm of her hand. "How could he do that to you?"
"And why?" Paige sniffled. "Why did he ask me out when he was already engaged?”
"I always knew there was something I didn't like about that man." Anger filled Riley's voice.
"You should have told me." Then before Riley could speak, Paige waved her hand and went on.
"I had a feeling you didn't like him. At first, I thought you were just jealous of the time I spent with him.
Then later, I got the impression you didn't think he was good enough for me because he traveled so much. "
Except he didn't really travel.
"He wasn't good enough for you.” Riley's brows tilted downward as remorse filled her face.
"I'm sorry I wasn't around for you to talk to last year.
Maybe if I'd told you something felt off about him, you would have thought twice about getting involved with him.
" She leaned over the center console to slide her arm around Paige's shoulders and pulled her close until Paige's head rested on her shoulder.
"Maybe, but none of it was your fault. You were dealing with so much after being assaulted last year." Paige shook her head. "No, this is all on me. We had so many friends getting married, I decided I wanted that too. When Phillip paid attention to me, I jumped in with both feet."
"So, when you left the restaurant and got hit by the car it was after meeting Phillip's pregnant fiancée? Not because Phillip dumped you?"
Paige dabbed at her eyes as she nodded. "I was in shock and utterly humiliated, but then I spotted Phillip coming down the sidewalk with a bouquet of roses. I just couldn't face him, so I…" Paige's voice died off as she acknowledged yet again how stupid she'd been.
She should have had the courage to face Phillip and tell him to take a hike. She was just so certain she'd been hearing wedding bells that finding out they weren't for her left her reeling.
Riley brushed a lock of hair back from Paige's face. "Why didn't you tell everyone what really happened?"
"I just couldn't." Paige lifted her head and pointed a finger at her cousin. "And you can't either."
"Why not?"
"I'm ashamed. I-I…was the other woman," she said the words with disgust. "I'm practically a homewrecker." Paige shifted her gaze to stare out her window. "I'm such an idiot."
"It's not like you did it on purpose. It’s not your fault he was living a double life."
"Maybe not, but I should have realized something wasn’t right." Paige shook her head again as she straightened in her seat.
"Hey," Riley massaged Paige’s shoulder. "I know it's been a rough road, and you still have a ways to go, but you're going to be okay."
Paige wanted desperately to believe Riley, so she nodded. "But why did things have to turn out like this? Why couldn't God just tell me with a neon sign or something that Phillip was wrong for me. I would have listened. Eventually."
Paige's mind raced over the past year. Had God tried to warn her? She couldn't think of any signs she might have missed. Sure, Phillip was gone a lot, but he was very devoted when he was around. Had she been so sure he was “the one” that she’d overlooked the warning signs?
"Maybe you just needed a love reset," Riley said.
"A what?" Paige's full attention was on her cousin now.
"It's something Daniel and I joke about.
A year ago, I was content with my life in Seattle.
No way would I have considered coming back home if Collin hadn't attacked me.
And Daniel would never have come back home if he wasn't struggling with his sobriety.
" Riley grinned as she shrugged. "God needed to break us down to build us up again, and He needed to put us where we could find the one we were meant to be with. "
Did God break me down, so He can build me up again? The way He wants me to be.
For the first time since they parked, Paige took a moment to appreciate the beautiful view that lay before her. Green pastures with grazing cattle, circular hay fields, and a golden sunset took her breath away.
Did God mean for her to find love in Providence? Paige almost burst out laughing. The prospects in this small town were seriously limited.
No, she couldn't trust a man with her heart again. Not for a very long time. Besides, she had other more pressing matters to worry about.
“Do you think I should go back to Seattle?”
"Why wouldn't you go back?" Riley's brows knit together. "You love your job there."
"I do, but it's so far away from family."
"I know what you mean. When I first came back last year, the last thing I wanted was my mom and my brothers nosing around in my life, but they were all there for me when I needed them most." Only a hint of dark shadows flitted through Riley's eyes at the mention of needing her family.
Paige was glad her friend had been able to work through the trauma of being drugged and abducted last spring. "Exactly. I didn't realize how much I missed my family until I came home."
Riley rested a hand on the steering wheel as she watched the sun set. "It's funny how when we were young, we couldn't wait to get out of this small town. But after living in the city for years, we realized it's not so bad."
"Oh, it's still bad." Paige laughed. "With it's quirky citizens, gossip mill, and slow pace, but I've decided I don't mind those things so much anymore."
"Are you thinking about moving back then?" Riley's face turned hopeful.
"Other than my job, it doesn't feel like there's anything left for me in Seattle.
" Paige ticked items off on her fingers. "First you left, then Jen got engaged, and Shaylee accepted that job on the east coast. Come August, I’ll need to find new roommates.” That prospect made it even harder to want to return to Seattle.
"Besides, if I go back to Seattle, I risk running into Phillip—at the gym or the grocery store. "
Riley grimaced. "That's reason enough alone not to go back, if you ask me."
"So, you think I should stay here?" Hope flickered in Paige’s chest.
"Will you be able to find a job?" Riley pointed a finger at Paige. "I know you. You won't be content sitting around doing nothing."
No, I won't.
Being laid up over the last few months had taught her that.
"I doubt they'd have an opening in the elementary here in Providence, but maybe I could find one in the Tri-Cities area."
"I think you should go for it!" Riley slapped her palm on the console. “I mean, what have you got to lose?"
"Nothing, I suppose. Principal Stevens has been hounding me, wanting to know if I plan to return next year."
"Then you'd better stop dragging your feet and see if there are options for you here."
Paige’s phone dinged with a text notification, distracting her from thoughts of finding a new job. She pulled it from her pocket. An unfamiliar number showed on the screen, and below it the words: This is Gabe Rivera.
Surprised to be getting a text from her therapist, she tapped the screen to read the full message.
Gabe: Just checking in to see how you're doing after today's PT session. Hope I wasn't too hard on you.
Warm brown eyes surrounded by long, thick lashes and a charming smile filled Paige's mind followed by her strange dream this afternoon.
"What is it, Paige?" Concern filled Riley's voice.
Paige's head jerked up. "Oh, it’s just my physical therapist."
"Your physical therapist is texting you?”
"He’s just checking in with me to see how I'm doing after today’s session of PT." Paige’s lips turned up. “I think he's afraid he pushed me too hard."
"Did he?"
"At the time, I felt like he expected a lot of me, but I actually feel pretty good."
She typed a response: I’m fine.
Gabe: Good. Meet me at the pool at 8 Wednesday morning for aqua therapy.