Chapter 9 #2
In truth, Marisol Rivera had had a difficult life; orphaned at the age of eight, then raised by her grandmother who died shortly after Marisol turned nineteen.
She'd had a happy life with his dad—or so Gabe had thought—until he walked out on them, leaving her practically destitute with two teenagers to finish raising on her own.
But she'd never complained. Instead, she rolled up her sleeves and went to work.
"My only regret is that I didn't get to see you both married with families of your own.
" She put her hand on Gabe's where it rested on the table.
"I'm sorry you were dealt such a difficult hand.
Your father left just when you needed him most in your life.
I tried to make up for his absence, but I failed miserably. "
"Come on, I don't think I turned out so bad.
" Gabe's attempt to ease the somber tension earned him an eye roll from Mom and a scowl from his sister.
"Mom, you didn't fail us." He covered her hand with his.
When had hers become so frail? "You did everything you possibly could for Grace and me. I attribute the man I am today to you."
Tears gathered in her eyes as she smiled.
"You did most of that on your own. You had such an unbreakable spirit.
Until Harper jilted you, that is." Her smile faded.
"I kept expecting you to bounce back eventually, but her betrayal left you bitter.
" Her lips pressed into a thin line as she slowly shook her head.
"I'm not bitter," Gabe said defensively.
He had been for a long time, but he'd eventually come to realize he was much better off without Harper. Especially when she and Dirk divorced only eighteen months after eloping.
"Then why haven't you moved on? I know PT school was stressful, but that's behind you now.
" Mom squeezed his hand again, giving it a little shake.
"My experience with your father probably left a bad taste in your mouth when it comes to marriage, but it's time for you to settle down, Mijo.
" Tears filled her eyes, and she dabbed at them with her napkin before taking Grace's hand as well.
"All I've ever wanted was to see you both in happy, fulfilling relationships. "
Regret weighed heavily in his stomach. Yes, PT school was grueling, but he graduated two years ago, and he had yet to make a real effort to form any lasting relationships, let alone get married.
"Don't worry about us, Mom." He cleared his throat to loosen the perpetual lump of emotion that had taken up residence there. "Gracie and I will be oka—" His voice broke on the last word, because how could they possibly be okay without their mother?
Across the table, Grace's sniffles grew louder.
"Oh, I know you will. You've both got my stubborn streak.
But there's a big difference between being okay and being happy.
I'm not saying you need to be married to be happy, but…
" Her voice turned tearful again, and it broke Gabe's heart.
"I always thought I'd get to meet your spouses.
" She released his hand and brought her napkin to her eyes again. "And hold my grand babies."
He wanted so badly to fix this for his mother, like he'd done with everything else that had broken over the last twelve years. He hated that he'd let her down in this regard.
If only I could alleviate her concerns…
"I'm seeing someone." The lie was out of his mouth before he could think about how stupid it was. He grabbed his water glass and chugged it to alleviate his suddenly dry mouth and to hide behind.
"You are?" Mom pressed a hand to her chest. Her eyes lit up, all sadness and worry gone. "Since when?"
Grace's head popped up, eyes narrowed, her face full of questions.
Trying to ignore the trembling deep in his core, he gave a noncommittal shrug. "For a while now."
"Who is she?" Mom leaned forward in her seat, elbows on the table. "What does she look like? Where did you meet her?" Excitement filled her voice.
So many questions, and he didn't have an answer for a single one of them. But making his mother’s final days happy justified a few lies. Didn't it?
"I uh…met her through work." It seemed like the safest answer, since school and work had consumed his life for the past ten years.
"A colleague or a former patient?" Mom's attention remained on him as she picked up her fork and started eating again.
Most of his colleagues were men or young college-aged girls who worked as assistants, so dating a patient was a more believable option.
"Patient." His stomach rolled as he forced out the lie. If he hadn't already lost his appetite earlier, it was long gone now. He tightened his grip on his fork to keep from fidgeting.
"Why didn't you tell me sooner?" Except for the slight redness around her eyes, all signs of Mom's tears were now gone as she put additional small bites in her mouth.
Perpetuating his lies to keep her eating was wrong, but he couldn't back down now. "I…um… I wanted to make sure it was going to work out first."
"Why wouldn't it work out?"
"Well…she…got hurt pretty badly by an ex…who cheated on her. So she was hesitant to get into another relationship." The lies rolled off his tongue now, and he realized his fictional girlfriend suddenly had a name and face, complete with a tragic backstory.
"And you're sure it's going to last?" Mom's next question pulled him from his thoughts.
"I hope so." Warmth filled his chest as he realized this wasn't a lie.
Was it possible for him and Paige to have a future? Would she say yes if he asked her out after she finished her therapy? His stomach sank as he remembered she might return to Seattle at the end of the summer if she didn’t find a job locally.
"Tell me about her. What's her name?"
Gabe's heart stalled. This is where Mom caught him in his lies.
Throwing Paige's name out felt like he was deceiving her as well as his mom. But for the life of him, he couldn't think of the name of any other former female patient he'd found attractive. Not that attraction mattered. It didn't, but he drew a blank on a name at all.
"Well…" He gave a big grin. The grin that had gotten him out of many a lecture when he was young.
Hoping it still worked, he winked. "I usually call her mi amor or mi corazón.
" He prayed the Spanish endearments would distract her from wanting a name.
"Or sometimes sweetheart or darling." Then he sighed.
"She has the prettiest blue eyes and an amazing smile that lights up the whole room. "
"So, when do I get to meet her?"
Gabe choked on the bite of enchilada he'd just shoved in his mouth. The acid in his stomach bubbled and churned, giving him indigestion.
"I uh…I'm not sure we're at the meet-the-parent’s stage just yet." He shifted in his seat that had suddenly grown hot. Fabricating a girlfriend was one thing, making one materialize to bring home to meet his mom was another thing entirely.
Idiot, of course she wants to meet your girlfriend.
"But you said you're sure it's going to last. If you're that serious, why don't you want me to meet her?" Mom's face fell, and so did Gabe's hopes of making her final days happy.
"It's not that I don't want you to meet her.
I just…don't want to scare her away by coming on too strong after everything she's been through.
" And asking Paige to come home with him to meet his mom would definitely scare her away.
It could also cost him his job. "I'll…uh…
I'll talk to her and see what her schedule is like.
" Each lie Gabe told sat in his stomach like sharp shards of glass, ripping his gut to shreds.
"Perfecto." Mom patted his arm before pushing away her plate that still contained more than half her food. "I'm going to rest on the couch for a bit while you kids clean up dinner, then we’ll see if there is a new movie available to stream."
All too eager to end this discussion and escape the lies he'd told, Gabe grabbed his plate in one hand and his mom's in the other and headed to the sink.
Grace followed him, carrying what was left of the enchiladas. She set the casserole dish on the counter and smacked his shoulder. "What are you doing?" She kept her voice low, but her whispered words were loaded with disapproval.
"Ouch!" He flinched even though it hadn't hurt that bad. "What was that for?" He kept his own voice low to avoid being overheard by their mom who was just around the corner.
"Why did you lie to mom?" Grace folded her arms and glared at him. "You and I both know you've hardly dated since Harper left you standing at the altar."
He sank back against the counter and sighed. "I don't know. I just…"
"Just what?" Her tone softened.
"I don't want Mom to…" He couldn't say it—the word that meant she'd soon be gone. "I don't want Mom to have regrets." Tears stung his eyes. He still couldn't wrap his head around the horrible news they'd received today. "I don't want her to feel like she let us down somehow."
"Of course she didn't." Grace's voice grew husky. "She was the best mom ever. Especially under the circumstances."
"Yes, she was." Gabe's own words were fervent as he scraped the uneaten food from the plates into the garbage. He reminded himself to lower his voice. "But I think she's afraid that because her and dad's marriage failed, and she chose not to remarry, that we believe marriage isn't worth it."
Grace's brow creased as a puzzled look filled her face. "I don't think that. Do you think that?" When he shook his head, she asked. "Why would she think that?"
"Because neither of us are married. I'm pushing thirty-one and you just turned twenty-seven. Most people are married by the time they hit their mid-twenties."
"Yeah, but many aren't." She gave him a look that said "duh" as she pulled plastic wrap from the drawer to cover the still half-full pan of enchiladas.
Gabe folded his arms and looked down at his feet as he recalled Mom's subtle hints over the years about seeing a therapist. "She thinks I have a fear of commitment."
"Well, do you?" Grace mimicked his posture. "I wouldn't blame you if you do after what Harper did to you."
"No, I don't." He scowled at her. "I just haven't found the right person."
Now that I think I have, she's off limits. I may never get a chance to see if she feels the same way.
Grace rolled her eyes at him. "I'm not sure you've been looking all that hard."
"I'm not the only one who hasn't been looking." He pinned her with a glare, daring her to argue.
It was Grace's turn to study her feet. "Mom has mentioned many times how much she looks forward to having grandkids. She often apologizes for being sick when I…you know."
Gabe nodded. He knew exactly what she referred to but didn't want to say out loud. They’d agreed many years ago not to talk about what happened to Grace when she was fifteen because it was a painful reminder of a dark and difficult time in their lives.
Marisol Rivera had a granddaughter that she'd only been able to hold briefly for a few minutes before the newborn infant was handed over to Social Services. And they hadn't seen her since.
"I think she worries I'll never get married because I have trust issues. Or that I'll always punish myself for the mistakes I made."
Gabe could have questioned Grace like she did him by asking if she had trust issues or if she was still punishing herself, but he didn't. That wasn't the point here. The point was they were going to lose their mom and neither of them were ready for that.
They were silent for a long moment; each lost in their own thoughts as they loaded their plates into the dishwasher and cleaned the kitchen. Then Gabe broke the silence. "Did you see how dejected she looked when she realized she'd never get to meet our future spouses?"
"She says she has no regrets, but she does." Grace's words were quiet. Then her expression changed, and she pinned him with a glare. "It was still wrong of you to lie to her."
"I know." He let out a heavy sigh and shoved his fingers into his hair. "We don't know how much time we're going to have with her though, and I just want her to be happy and at peace."
"Me too, but making up a girlfriend? Seriously?
" She shook her head in disbelief. "Did you really believe her 'thinking' you had a girlfriend would be enough to make her happy?” Grace made air quotes when she said thinking.
“Of course, Mom wants to meet her." She propped a hand on her hip. "What are you going to do?"
"I don't know." Gabe poured a glass of milk and took a long swig, trying to calm the acids having a heyday in his stomach. "Do you have any friends or coworkers who'd be willing to play the part of my fake girlfriend?"
Grace snorted. "Most of my female coworkers at the radiology lab are married or are considerably older than you.
And I'm sure both Natasha and Miley would be all too eager to pretend to be your girlfriend, but mom knows them too well.
She would have known if you were dating one of them.
Besides, neither of them has blue eyes."
Gabe grimaced. Why did he have to be so specific in his description of his fake girlfriend?
"You really dug yourself a hole, Hermano." Grace patted his shoulder before turning to the sink and wetting a washcloth. "From the way you described this woman, it sounded like you had someone in mind. You almost had me convinced."
For a moment there, he'd almost had himself convinced Paige could be his girlfriend. That they had a future together. Too bad it was all a pack of big fat lies.
Not only was he losing his mom, but he might also miss his chance with the only woman to interest him in a long time because she was a patient.