Chapter 15 #3
"Wow. Now I understand why you reacted so strongly that day at the pool. Between your dad having an affair and your ex cheating on you, I don't blame you for being relationship adverse."
"It's a little more involved than that, but I'll come back to that in a minute.
" He rolled his shoulders as he launched into a subject that after all these years still managed to cause his shoulders to bunch with stress.
"After the divorce, we struggled financially. Even though my dad paid child support and a pitifully small alimony, it wasn’t enough to live on.
My mom got a job, but after being a stay-at-home mom for so many years, she didn't have the earning potential my dad did.
Then when our car died for good, Mom had to buy a new one.
It was used, but the payments were more than she could afford, so she got a second job.
I felt bad that she had to work so hard to support us, so I got a part-time job working at a car wash to help with the bills and cover things like my wrestling fees. "
"Wait. Didn't you injure your neck during your senior year of high school?"
"Yes." He clasped his hands behind his back and studied his shoes as he walked. "Between school, wrestling, work, and homework I was exhausted all the time. That may have contributed to my injury. I wasn’t in peak physical condition."
"I can't imagine having that kind of stress and responsibility as a teenager." Sympathy filled Paige's voice.
Gabe wasn't the only teenager forced to grow up before he was ready. He'd learned—like so many others—that feeling sorry for himself wouldn't change anything.
He shrugged. "I went back to work as soon as I could after recovering.
I graduated high school and busted my butt all summer, working two jobs, to come up with enough money to pay tuition and rent an apartment.
Then I moved across the city to attend college.
" His steps slowed. "Halfway through my first semester, my mom was diagnosed with breast cancer the same day Grace—" He cut himself off and stopped walking.
Staring across the park at three teenage boys, who played Frisbee, he relived that horrible night.
He hadn't planned to go home for the weekend because he had a ton of homework and was running low on money.
But when his mom called, saying she needed to talk to him, the emotion that choked her voice had him rushing to the bus stop.
He arrived home to find his mom and Grace in a heated argument about a party. Mom didn’t want her hanging out with that crowd. But Grace was adamant. He could still hear her yelling about how horrible her life was and how much she hated her family before slamming the front door as she stormed out.
Gabe had held his mom and assured her she was doing the best she could.
Then he comforted her all over again when she told him she'd been diagnosed with breast cancer. Shortly before midnight, he’d convinced her to go to bed, promising to wait up for Grace.
Thirty minutes later, he answered a call from the police station.
The party Grace was at got busted and several kids had been arrested for underage drinking and two adults for possession of cocaine. Grace swore she'd only had a few drinks and didn't touch the drugs.
Going to court with her—because his mom was too sick from her chemo treatments—was stressful, but that was nothing compared to the bomb she dropped on them a few weeks later.
She’d made out with some guy at the party, who took advantage of her in her inebriated state. And now she was pregnant.
Gabe's chest grew tight, restricting his breathing, as he recalled the stress he was under that year.
"It's okay." Paige slipped her hand into his, bringing him back to the present. "Whatever it is, you can tell me."
He gripped her hand, drawing strength from her presence. If he was going to share the most difficult parts of his life with someone, he wanted it to be Paige. He led her to a nearby bench.
She sat beside him, her hand still in his.
"It's not my story to tell, but…" He shook his head and tightened his grip on Paige's hand.
"Grace went off the deep end after my dad left.
She started hanging out with a bad crowd, skipping school, and partying.
Mom was doing the best she could, but she wasn't home much, especially after my injury and she had to take me to PT all the time. "
"I'm sure your dad's leaving was hard on her."
"It was hard on all of us, but Grace took it especially hard.
She did things she shouldn't have and ended up…
in a bad situation…that had some serious consequences.
She needed a lot of help and support while my mom was going through chemotherapy.
" He scrubbed his free hand over his face.
"I barely managed to pass my classes that first semester after I moved home to take care of them.
Then I dropped out of school for the next year to work full-time and take care of Grace and my mom until she was in remission and Grace's… issues were resolved."
For weeks, he’d sat beside Grace, pouring over applications from prospective adoptive parents and praying they were making the right decision.
Grace had been full of remorse and had done a one-eighty.
It had been a turning point in their relationship.
They'd bonded during those difficult months and had been close ever since despite their almost four-year age gap.
Paige leaned into him, pressing her shoulder against his. "What about you?"
Warmth flooded through him at the contact. The sympathy in her blue eyes eased the tension inside him. "What about me?"
"Who took care of you while you were taking care of everybody else?" Compassion and concern filled her face.
He could have used a friend like Paige twelve years ago when his world was in chaos.
Someone who could help carry his burden or at least listen when he needed to vent.
But then he would have fallen in love with her, and he didn't have time back then to foster a relationship. It wouldn't have been fair to Paige.
What about now?
Never mind that she was his patient and should be off limits. He had even less time now than he did back then. He needed to devote every minute possible to his job and his mom for the foreseeable future.
"I didn't really have anyone, but my boss at the grocery store where I worked at the time was very understanding."
"I'm sorry you had to go through that."
"When our lives returned to normal, I threw myself into my studies again while working part-time at a physical therapy office.
I took courses through the summers to make up for the lost time.
I eventually got a couple scholarships, but they weren't enough to pay my full tuition, so I had to take out student loans. I was determined to succeed."
"And you did."
He smirked and shrugged. "I'm not sure I'm truly successful yet, but I'm getting there."
That is if I don't screw it up by dating a patient.
Except, he wasn't really dating Paige. This was all fake.
So why did I kiss her? And why am I still holding her hand?
Stomach tight, he pulled his hand from hers to scratch his other shoulder.
He continued before he lost his nerve. "I didn't have much of a social life at college because I was so focused on my studies, but at the beginning of my final year of undergrad studies, one of the girls in my physiology class invited me to join a study group.
I ended up being the only one to show up.
We talked for hours and studied very little.
Then we got together again the next evening.
The rest, as they say, was history." Gabe rubbed the back of his neck as the old familiar tension filled him. "Except it wasn't."
"Was this the woman who cheated on you with your best friend?" Sympathy again filled Paige's voice.
He nodded. "Except Dirk wasn't just my best friend, he was my best man. And Harper was my fiancée."
Paige gasped. "Seriously?"
"Harper left me standing at the altar. Literally.
" He kept his voice as neutral as possible, not wanting to admit how much pain still accompanied memories of that humiliating day.
"Her mother handed me a note while I stood in front of a hundred of our closest friends and family members.
It said she was sorry, but she'd realized she didn't love me enough to marry me.
" He gave a rueful laugh as he shook his head.
"Then she ran off and eloped with my best man two weeks later. "
"Ouch." Paige drew out the word dramatically. "I thought finding out about Phillip's double life the way I did was bad. I couldn't imagine learning the truth in front of all my family and friends."
"I should have seen what was happening." Gabe berated himself. "Should have known she wasn't content. I was so focused on getting into PT school that I neglected her."
"If she truly loved you, she should have been supportive of you. Not running around behind your back." She lowered her gaze. "Except for my cousin, who is my best friend, I haven't told anyone what happened with Phillip and the real cause of my accident."
"Why not?"
She gave him an incredulous look as she poked herself in the chest. "Hello. I was the other woman. I didn’t want everyone judging me for the part I played in Phillip breaking up with Avery."
"No. Phillip is the reason his relationship with Avery fell apart. He should never have asked you out when he was engaged to someone else."
"I keep playing every interaction over in my mind, wondering how I missed the signs.
" She shook her head in disgust. "I'm so gullible, I believed him every time he canceled our plans because something came up with a client in London or India.
And I should have known he didn't need to travel so often on weekends for his business trips. "
"Some people can be very convincing," Gabe said to make her feel better, but his words made his gut tighten. Had they been convincing enough with his mom?
"You said your mom has stage-four pancreatic cancer.” Paige changed the subject. “Do they have a treatment plan? Or is it too far…?" Her voice died off, but Gabe felt to his core the words she didn't voice.
His chest tightened just as it did a week ago when he first learned about his mother's diagnosis and as it did every time he considered how little time he had left with her.
Despite Paige's willingness to help him, he still struggled to draw in a full breath every time he thought about losing his mom.
"It's too advanced." Gabe swallowed the lump in his throat before continuing. "The doctor couldn't tell us how much time she has left, but he said probably three to six months. Maybe longer, maybe—" Emotion clogged his throat, making it impossible to finish his sentence.
"I'm so sorry." Paige leaned into him again, and Gabe couldn't help himself; he wrapped his arm around her and pulled her close.
He buried his face in her sweet, floral-scented hair.
He shouldn't encourage what was supposed to be a fake relationship, but he needed this.
He needed to know he wasn't alone. Sure, he had Grace, but he felt like he needed to be strong for her even though she was an adult now.
Sometimes though, he needed someone to comfort him.
He held Paige until the tightness in his chest eased. With her in his arms, he felt like he would somehow survive this nightmare. He kept his arm around her when he finally relaxed his hold.
For several long minutes, they watched the sunset in silence, enjoying the way the golden rays of sunlight pierced the scattered clouds. The sounds of the city surrounding them grew gradually quieter.
"I know I shouldn't have lied to my mom about having a girlfriend, but her biggest regret is that she never got to meet our spouses and see us married."
"Married?" Paige's voice squeaked as she pulled away.
"Don't worry, I don't plan to carry the ruse that far. I just wanted to bring her a little peace and happiness. I want her to see that Grace and I are going to be okay." That was a bigger lie than telling his mom he had a girlfriend.
"Is Grace bringing home a fake boyfriend too?"
"No." Gabe laughed. "Like me, Grace doesn't date much. She has trust issues. If we both suddenly announced that we were dating someone, Mom would have seen right through that."
"Do you think she bought our act today?"
"I think so. She sure looked happy. Happier than I've seen her in a long time.
I know you hate lying to your family and mine, but I need you.
" He turned imploring eyes on her. "At the risk of sounding like a teenage boy, will you please be my girlfriend a while longer?
" He rushed to correct himself. "I mean fake girlfriend. "
He needed to remember their relationship wasn't real, no matter how much he wanted it to be.
Indecision filled Paige's face, and Gabe's lungs burned from the breath he held there. Finally, she nodded. "I do hate lying to your mom and my parents, but at least now I understand why this is so important to you."
"We can't let the truth get out, not just with my mom, but at the office." Gabe shifted on the bench. "The only reason I got a full-time position as a therapist as quickly as I did after graduating was because the doctor I replaced was caught with a patient."
He'd reportedly slept with his patient, which Gabe had no intention of doing with Paige, but after that amazing kiss this afternoon, he was reminded how strong temptation could be. Besides, rumors had a way of convoluting and polluting the truth. His career might not survive scandalous rumors.
Nor did Paige deserve that kind of scrutiny.