Chapter 23 #2
"I'm not saying you have to use it, since it probably isn't the style you would choose, but I want you to have it." A hopeful look filled Mom's face.
"Me?" Paige dropped the ring and jerked her hand back so fast Gabe thought it had shocked her. "No, I couldn't."
"Well, I'm gifting it to Gabe, to give to the woman he marries." Mom's eyes twinkled as her smile grew. "And it looks like that will be you."
"No, no, no." Paige held up both hands, palms out. "They should go to Grace. They will be more meaningful to her." Paige's pleading gaze flew to Grace, begging her to claim the ring.
"Grace has already expressed interest in having my grandmother's wedding ring.
" Mom said before Grace could open her mouth.
"This ring goes to Gabe." She leveled an intense gaze—the kind only a mother can give—on him.
"Like I said, I don't want to rush you two, but my time is limited, and I would very much like to see you married—or at least engaged—before I die. "
"Married?" Paige's voice squeaked.
Gabe didn't even try to speak, because his throat was equally tight.
Overwhelmed by how out of control his lie had become and the ease with which his mom spoke about dying, he couldn't have found the appropriate words if his life depended on it.
And judging by the wide-eyed panicked look Paige gave him, his life might very well depend on the next words that came out of his mouth.
"I uh…I don't know…what to say." A cold sweat pricked the back of his neck as he searched for words that would appease his mom and not send Paige packing.
He didn't want to disappoint his mother by telling her he'd been lying to her all along, but he also didn’t want to screw things up with Paige. He was certain she cared about him, but getting engaged was a massive jump from a fake relationship.
He licked his suddenly dry lips and turned imploring eyes on Paige, hoping she'd go along with the charade a little longer. Just until they could talk privately and come up with a plan.
She shook her head so violently, he feared she'd give herself whiplash. "I need some air." She bolted off the loveseat. Her hamstring must have spasmed, because she whimpered as she limped to the sliding glass door.
Gabe let out a heavy sigh. He needed to come clean with his mom, but a small part of him wished Paige had held out her hand and let him slip the ring onto her finger.
He'd never felt so conflicted in his life. He wanted desperately to make his mom happy for the short time she had left. Telling her the truth now would turn the joy she'd found in her final days into bitter disappointment.
And despite fearing he'd end up neglecting Paige when he became too caught up in caring for his mom, he wanted nothing more than to make her his fiancée. Knowing she would be a part of his future made the thought of losing his mom bearable.
"Oh dear. I was too pushy, wasn't I?" Remorse filled Mom's face. "I'd better apologize."
"No. I should talk to her." Gabe curled his fist around the ring he still held and pushed to his feet.
This mess was all his fault. It was only right that he be the one to fix it.
Gabe slipped the ring into his pocket and stepped onto the back deck. Deciding against turning on the back porch light, he stepped to the stairs. It wasn't fully dark yet, but it would be soon. No need to put a spotlight on what was about to go down between him and Paige.
Paige paced a line just beyond the deck, her agitation manifested in her hunched shoulders and the way her hands fidgeted.
"What are we going to do, Gabe?" A hint of hysteria crept into her voice as she turned wide eyes on him.
"We can't just pretend to be engaged. The next thing you know your mom will be pushing us to set a wedding date and asking me if I've bought a wedding dress yet.
" She rubbed her forehead with a shaky hand.
"She's going to want to meet my parents. "
Gabe's gut clenched at the thought of facing Dr. Young and having to tell him he'd crossed the line with a patient who happened to be his daughter.
I've made such a mess of everything.
"Relax." He held his hands out in a consoling gesture, feigning a calmness he didn't feel. "I didn't come out here to convince you to pretend to be my fiancée."
"You didn't?" She looked at him in surprise. "You're going to tell your mom the truth?"
His stomach tightened again, making him nauseous. He sank onto the new wicker bench he'd purchased when he replaced the trellis.
Mom loved the bench, just like he'd hoped she would. She'd spent time out here every day this week.
Sighing, Paige sat beside him. Her posture remained rigid, but the hysteria had vanished from her expression. Now she just looked sad.
The light that shown through the sliding glass door played across her blond hair and face, creating tiny golden stars in her eyes. Gabe caught his breath at her beauty. He felt like the luckiest man on earth, but he feared that was about to change.
Sitting on the bench put them in full view of the house, but taking Paige out of sight would look suspicious.
"I see you replaced the trellis." She looked up at the roses behind them. "That's how you got all the cuts and scrapes on your hands, isn't it?"
He looked down at his hands, mostly healed now, and nodded. "I needed to let off some steam on Sunday." He propped his elbows on his knees and scrubbed his hands over his face. "The medicine my mom was taking to slow the growth of the cancer was making her sicker, so I asked her to stop taking it."
"I'm so sorry." She rubbed his back in a comforting gesture that soothed the ache in his heart. "I can't imagine how difficult that must have been for you and Grace."
"She started new meds on Thursday, but we have to wait to see how she responds to them.
" He recalled his mom's unsteadiness as she got out of the car this evening.
He hoped it was just exhaustion, despite riding in the wheelchair most of the day.
"If they work, they'll buy us a little more time with her. If they don't…"
He couldn't finish his sentence, but he didn't need to for Paige to understand the gravity of the situation. Her hand on his back continued to provide the comfort he so badly needed.
Silence stretched between them as Gabe searched for the words to make right all the things he'd said and done wrong, not just with his mom, but with Paige too.
"You're a good son, Gabe. A good man."
"I sense a 'but' coming." He straightened and shifted to face her.
"But you are not responsible for your mom's—or even your sister's—happiness."
Deep down, he knew that. But it didn't change the fact that he cared about them and wanted them to be happy. If he could make that happen, then he felt compelled to do so.
"What about your happiness?" he asked softly as he took her hand in his.
One side of her mouth quirked up. "You're not responsible for my happiness either. But we seem to have become intrinsically connected. Everything you do affects me."
"I know, and I'm so sorry for this latest turn of events. I had no idea my mom was planning to give me my grandma’s wedding rings."
"I'm tired of lying, Gabe." Her eyes glistened with the sheen of tears.
"Me too, but…"
Would he scare her away if he told her the truth? That he wanted her to be his fiancée for real. Not just to make his mom happy, but because he loved her, and he wanted to come home to her every day for the rest of his life.
"Your mom looked so happy today." She shifted her gaze to the house where they had a clear view of Mom and Grace sitting on the couch. "It'll break her heart if we go in there and tell her the truth."
He nodded, hating the idea of destroying his mom’s happiness. Happiness that came from seeing him fall in love again. And boy, had he fallen. If they told his mom the truth and ended their fake relationship, would he be able to convince Paige to take a chance on a real one?
He didn’t want to wait until she’d finished PT to court her. And what if she couldn’t find a job in Providence and decided to return to Seattle? His stomach twisted with the what-ifs.
"I've lied to her long enough though.” He sucked in a deep breath, bracing himself for what he needed to do. “Just promise—"
"I wish we could drop the charade and make this real."
His eyes cut to her face. Was she serious?
"Me too." He squeezed her hand as hope exploded in his chest. "Let's do it. Let's make this real."
Her eyes widened and her hand jerked in his as if she meant to pull it away but changed her mind. "Stop kidding around."
"I'm not joking, mi amor." He squeezed her fingers and locked gazes with her.
"I know this all started out as a fake relationship, but I started falling for you long before I brought you home to meet my mom.
" Her breath hitched, but he plowed on. “And then we kissed, and it felt so right that I forgot we were supposed to be pretending.” He caressed her cheek with a finger.
"Every kiss…every touch after that was because I wanted it.
Not because I was trying to convince my mom you were my girlfriend. "
Despite her face splitting into a grin, her eyes filled with tears. "But you said you couldn't make me any promises. Just last week, you told me not to get my hopes up."
"I know, and at the time, I thought I was doing what was best for both of us. But Grace reminded me that love is a gift from God, and we don’t get to choose when it comes our way.
I tried to distance myself from you this week at PT while I decided if I could embrace that gift, and it made me miserable.
” He inched a little closer to her. “I don’t want to pretend anymore, because I'm in love with you, Paige. "
Her smile broadened. "You love me?"