Micah
Watch it, kid. I’m still plenty cool.
Now, 2024 | Sirena Beach, California
“Mom! Where are my suspenders?”
closed her eyes and focused on the way her lukewarm cup of coffee made her feel instead. It had been piping hot at some point, but raising a teenager meant that even though she started one thing, she ended up doing a million other things. Not to mention spending most of her life with undiagnosed ADHD and it was a miracle that she did any of the things on her list. Sure, she had her medication now and it helped a lot, but her teenager was still the biggest source of distraction.
“Moooooooom!”
They’d done this enough times that she knew there was no point responding or even offering to help her daughter find what she was looking for. She sipped on her coffee and found her mug empty. Pouting, she rinsed it out and set it in her dishwasher before letting it slam shut.
“I found them! Was with my socks!”
“Where they always are,” she whispered and moved around the kitchen wiping down counters and putting things away. She started packing their lunches, keeping one ear focused on the movements upstairs. For all her complaints and concerns about her daughter, was beyond grateful that she existed. Emery was the one thing she did right in her marriage, which was doomed from the start.
Geoffrey only proposed when they found out she was pregnant.
That entire relationship had been such a mess and every time she looked back on it, she winced. Fresh out of college, and Geoffrey met at a friend’s birthday party. He was a little punk rock and a whole lot boring, but he’d indulged her need to mix ridiculous drinks, humored her when she cracked bad jokes and listened intently when she talked about her ‘life list’. She hadn’t crossed a single thing off it since her night with Fletcher, but she kept it with her at all times. Geoffrey—never Geoff—had offered to help with a few of the items, but she politely declined. Instead, she slept with him that night and found out she was pregnant a few weeks later.
Her South Indian parents were less than pleased about the development, reminding her that was exactly why they’d been hesitant about sending her to another state for college. She moved home to Sirena Beach, California during her pregnancy, Geoffrey followed and insisted they get married. Three months later, with both sets of parents and her two best friends present, they were pronounced husband and wife at city hall in San Diego.
Emery Asha Mathis was born a few months later.
Three years into the marriage, Geoffrey drunkenly confessed that he hated being a father and husband. Then promptly forgot about those damning words when she filed for divorce.
Unfortunately for Geoffrey, he had to pay child support and alimony because she didn’t have a job since he’d all but demanded that he be the primary breadwinner of their family.
In the ten years since then, and Emery had made a life for themselves. She used her savings and borrowed money from her parents, plus money from Geoffrey, to find the perfect home. She put all of her attention and love into raising her daughter, ensuring that Emery never once felt like did when she was young—which was proving harder than she realized. Especially since her very opinionated mother always had something to say.
“Tie or no tie?”
She looked up at the staircase where her daughter was dressed like a punk rocker from the early 2000’s—think Avril Lavigne’s classic look—in a crisp white shirt tucked into baggy black pants, with black and red suspenders. Her once light blonde hair had dark tips and her eyes were drawn with the blackest eyeliner she could find. If herself hadn’t dressed the same at some point in her life, she would have been horrified by the sight.
Emery had gone through millions of phases in her short fourteen years. Starting at eight, she got into a lot of trouble with the other parents at school. Instead of curbing her daughter’s creativity and confidence, she did her best to keep it a little less in people’s faces. She’d been raised with strict rules in place for what she could wear, what she could say and how she was meant to present herself. didn’t want that for her daughter, she wanted Emery to make mistakes and learn from them.
She’d gone through the expected princess and Disney phases, both were the shortest lived for a few months each. Then there was a Vikings phase, which had been hard for to understand when her daughter insisted on wearing leather in the California heat. It was safe to say Emery came home a sweaty mess almost every day and crying most of the time too. The superhero phase was the longest and was glad when she refused to wear spandex. She’d also settled into her Lord of the Rings phase where she spoke like Legolas while dressed like Aragorn and it was a whole complicated mess.
For the last six months, she’d been obsessed with punk rock from the 2000’s—“these classics are epic bangers, Mom, how did this not change your life?”—and was having daily flashbacks. But she was glad that Emery was obsessed with finding her passion instead of aiming to become popular or getting into trouble. In so many ways, Emery took after her and she was glad for it. Because all Geoffrey brought to the table were good looks and the sad ability to talk about only five things—money, cars, golf, Cancun, and cigars.
What Emery did get from her father made grateful, because growing up Brown, fat and sassy hadn’t done her any favors in the world. At fourteen, she stood at five feet six inches with an athlete’s body, blonde hair and beautiful brown eyes. sometimes wondered if they’d switched babies in the hospital, because there was no way she had given birth to this kid.
Not to even mention how often people thought she was the nanny when Emery was growing up. Ah, casual racism, how I love you.
“Black one, stick to the darker tones with your outfit,” said.
“Can you help?”
Nodding, she tapped into years of helping her ex with his tie and looped it around Emery’s neck. Making sure not to strangle her daughter, she pushed the knot up and then stepped back. “Perfection.”
Emery shoved the second tie into her bag as she said, “You remember that we’re going to Big Waves after school, right?”
Right, Hank Scott’s music store .
A month ago, Emery had come home with her best friend and both of them proceeded to talk at her about how Hank’s music store was under new management and they were offering lessons. Growing up in Sirena Beach, the store had been a staple and when Emery first showed interest in music, she would drop her daughter off with Uncle Hank —no relation, just the friendliest old man their hometown had to offer—to get a solid musical education.
When Hank died four years ago, something shifted in her daughter. Having grown up with the older gentleman, Emery was attached to him. He functioned like a pseudo grandfather, one who celebrated all of her quirks. She was hesitant about visiting the store after that and more importantly, struggled to spend Christmas at Santa’s Village. For as long as Emery had been alive, Hank had been Santa every year. After he passed, the newspaper announced a new Santa would be taking over and Emery couldn’t come to terms with it.
The fact that she was ready to go back to the store now was a huge deal and wasn’t going to question it.
“I remember.” She filled their water bottles before handing one to Emery. “Do you want me to pick you up?”
“Nope. Nico wants to go as well, so we’ll ride our bikes over.”
“You have all your questions ready?”
“ Mom . Please don’t bring that up when you get there. I don’t want Mr. Kelley to think I’m some kind of dweeb.”
“Is that the new owner?” Even as she asked the question, her mind wandered to the Mr. Kelley she did know. The very same one who had delivered the most number of orgasms she’d had in a single night. The man who was a beast behind the drums, but soft and gentle in bed. She’d had more chemistry with Fletcher Kelley in one night than she’d had with her ex in the three years they were married. A part of wondered if her marriage had failed because she held onto those memories of Fletcher.
“Don’t be weird, okay? Benson said Mr. Kelley is like super cool for an old dude and I don’t need you being… you .”
“Watch it, kid.” frowned, but her tone was all humor. “I’m still plenty cool.”
Emery groaned, head tipped back. “I’m already regretting this.”
“I’ll be on my best behavior and I won’t embarrass you in front of the super cool dude or Nico.”
At the mention of her best friend—and person she was convinced her daughter had a crush on—Emery blushed. “Nico knows you’re weird, they expect nothing less from you.”
“So I can’t embarrass you in front of Mr. Kelley .”
“God, you’re going to be insufferable.” Emery grabbed her lunch and stomped to the front door. chuckled and packed up her bag for work, knowing that any minute now, she would stop and turn around. The stomping ceased and she looked up to find her daughter smiling wide. “I love you, Mom.”
“I love you, too, kid. You’re the best thing I’ve ever done in my life.”
“Damn right I am.”
She blew her daughter a kiss and smiled to herself as Emery grabbed her sticker covered helmet and walked out the front door. When silence enveloped the house, her mind wandered to Fletcher again. Which was silly, because even though she’d listened to The Rescuers for years after their one night stand, she hadn’t really thought about the man himself too much. He was a part of her history, but that’s all he could ever be. A checklist on her life list—have the most epic one night stand with a famous person.
And that’s all he can ever be.
Six hours into her work day, with all thoughts of her former lovers and partners erased from her mind, opened her office door to let her eleven year old client in. His mother offered her a small wave from where she was seated in one of the reception chairs and smiled in response before closing the door behind Dexter.
“Good afternoon, Dexter, how are you?”
He smiled and then inhaled deeply, steeling himself before he released his breath and said, “I’m g-g-good.” Dexter nodded and she did the same, gesturing to the other chair. He sat down, fidgeting until he was comfortable. “I visited my grandparents last week.”
“They have horses, right? Did you go for a ride?”
He nodded excitedly, flashing his teeth and when she laughed, he pointed at the gap in the front. “I fell off the p-p-po-pony—” nodded at the soft sound that accompanied the word before Dexter continued, “She left me there!”
“Did she take your tooth with her?”
He giggled. “She did! So, no money from my fairy godmother.”
“We can’t have that!” She grinned and held out the bowl of candy she kept for her younger patients. Dexter’s smile widened, flashing his missing tooth, and he took a few minutes to decide which candy he wanted. Once he was settled back in his chair, reached for the picture book from her stack of children’s books. “You up for some reading today or do you want to tell me more about your visit?”
He hesitated and took the book from her, flipping it open to the first page. The table beside where they were seated was stacked high with books for different age groups. So no matter which client came in, she had something for everyone to read. Because of Dexter’s stutter, she always had him read easier books. He had already graduated into books with bigger words that had more consonants and syllables, but the progress was slow.
“We’re not in a rush, okay?” she said, reminding him that there was no time limit to how fast or slow he needed to improve. “You read at your pace. Take the time to sound out the words in your head, repeat them as many times as you need to.”
Dexter nodded firmly, gripping the open book. “I can do it.”
“Do you remember how many pages you read last time?”
“Four. Today I will re-re—” He huffed in frustration and tried again, “—I will read five p-pa-pages.”
“Great. Whenever you’re ready.”
Cautiously, Dexter started reading the book about the unicorn and the mouse. His finger traced the words as he said them out loud. She was glad that even though he’d read the first four pages many times already, he didn’t assume that he was ready for the more advanced pages.
Watching, listening and guiding Dexter made her think about her own struggles with her speech when she was a young girl. Her parents moved to the States from South India when was five and she already had a stutter, struggling to get what she wanted to say out in a timely manner. Combine that with her still learning how to speak English properly—she’d been raised in a house with grandparents who only ever spoke in Malayalam—and was made fun of, bullied and mistreated in the neighborhood and then at school.
Like a lot of South Indian parents, ’s didn’t believe that you needed to get tested for speech disorders, so she suffered silently. Her mother would always say ‘you’ll get over it’ or ‘try and focus on your words before you speak’ like it was that simple. It was her English teacher in the fourth grade that finally encouraged her parents to see a speech therapist.
Years of sessions, reading slowly, being taught how to sound out words in her head and then out loud helped her learn the best way to overcome her stutter. It didn’t go away completely, but she’d finally learned how to ease herself into it. By the time she was in high school, had become the student body president and could give speeches without problem. But there were always kids who remembered what she was like in middle school and had no qualms being assholes about it.
She continued meeting with her speech therapist all the way through college, where she studied Audiology and Speech Language Pathology. The decision wasn’t made lightly, no matter what her parents said, and she worked her ass off to graduate. She was applying to schools for her Masters program when she found out she was pregnant, so put that on hold and spent the three years she was married raising Emery. Once the divorce was finalized and she was able to find people to help out with Emery, she went back to school and followed through with her clinical hours. It was a lot of work and hours she spent away from her daughter, but did everything she could to be a present mother. By the time she got her certification, she was ready to sleep for an entire year. But she got so lucky when she met with Haven Williams, founder of the Haven Clinic which was outside the town limits of Sirena Beach.
The clinic housed therapists that provided different services and often one client saw multiple people in the clinic. But the whole place was started by and run by queer women, making it an extremely safe place for queer folk to come by without the fear of being judged. Within twenty minutes of meeting Haven, was hired. It took her a few years to build a reputation and a client list, but now she was well known for her skills, no matter the age of the person visiting her.
“The mouse p-p-poi-pointed—” Dexter huffed and looked up, she nodded for him to continue. “The mouse pointed at the rainbow and the unicorn sm-sm-smiled.”
When he slammed the book shut, she leaned back in her chair and waited for Dexter to go through the emotions he was feeling. She remembered how frustrating it had been to struggle through books she usually had no trouble with. While she was fluent most of the time, there were situations where she still stuttered. was working towards showing her younger clients that it was absolutely normal to have moments like that.
“Dexter, tell me why the book made you angry.”
He set the book in his lap, refusing to meet her eyes. “They were…easy words. I str-str-struggled.”
“Words might seem easy the first and second time, but they can sometimes get difficult later. The important thing to acknowledge is that you got them all.”
“I finished five pages!”
She held a hand up and grinned when Dexter gave her a high-five. He was still quite young, but Dexter was determined and that was enough. She could help him if he was interested in being helped, beyond that it was impossible to even consider guiding someone in the right direction. After escorting him out to his mother and a quick update on how the session had gone, grabbed herself a large mug of freshly brewed coffee and returned to her office to new texts in the group she had with her best friends—Sadie and Tatum.
Sadie
Remind me again why I thought one night stands this close to 40 were a good idea?
Especially with younger men.
This stud blew my back out and I fucking thanked him for it.
Tatum
Does this mean you’re going to let him ride you again?
Sadie
Possibly. Depends on if he can keep it casual. Because I saw ‘love’ in his eyes last night.
How do you see love in someone’s eyes?
Sadie
When their eyes sparkle as their balls deep inside you, it’s love.
Tatum
doesn’t know what that’s like, she’s been celibate for a millennia.
Try raising a kid on your own and you’ll be celibate too.
I encountered cobwebs during a self care session the other week.
Tatum
You should definitely get that checked out.
Sadie
Or you can borrow my stud for one hot ride.
No more one night stands for me, thanks.
Tatum
I’m sorry, NO MORE one night stands?
Sadie
OH MY GOD THE ROCKSTAR
Tatum
The one from when we were kids?
We were 22!
Sadie
Jesus, you were walking funny for days after that.
Tatum
Oh shit, that’s right. You said he was the best you ever had.
Sadie
And you said that AFTER you filed for divorce from Geoff.
Sometimes I forget that you’ve known me all my life and know everything about me.
Tatum
Even the things we don’t want to know.
Sadie
I like knowing everything, Mick. But hey, we’re due a girl’s night out.
Nonna will be happy to keep Emery for the night.
You know she’ll say HELL YES to spending an evening with Nonna.
Sometimes I think she loves your grandmother more than me.
But then she says she loves me before leaving for school and I know I’m good.
Tatum
Fuck that’s cute. Your kid is the best.
Sadie
She’s my favorite young person.
She’s pretty great.
But yes to girl’s night out. I want to know what it’s like to be flirted with.
Tatum
And what it feels like to get your back blown out by some young stud.
Sadie
Worth the money I’m spending on this midday massage, I’ll tell you that much.