Chapter 9
nine
. . .
“Aurora,” Madeline, Aurora’s grandmother, spoke softly as she entered the kitchenette space near the large window adjacent to the kitchen, where love was cooked and brewed back in the day. “I thought you were going to sleep the day away.”
Aurora had been staring at her law notes, unable to commit any of it to memory.
Her bundles, which typically remained curled or in pin curls, were in their natural state.
Sleep had been restless. Every time she fell asleep, she heard his grunts and felt the swell of his dick inside of her.
She tossed and turned, trying to make the images of his smirk, the timbre of his voice, and the overall warmth of him disappear.
She pulled her tired eyes from the notes and law books spread about the table to her grandmother. Madeline shuffled to the coffee maker and began brewing a pot. Over her shoulder, she asked, “I thought last night wasn’t going to be a long night? You went to the club?”
There went that ache again. Aurora slightly bit her lip, letting flashbacks flood her mind, but she recovered. “No, Synia dragged me to a wedding and then one thing led to another.”
Madeline turned around and studied the glow of good sex over her granddaughter as well as all the things she wasn’t saying. “Do I need to make tea instead of coffee?”
Aurora chuckled softly. Her grandmother was her best friend.
Madeline had sat up with Aurora many nights, wiping tears of heartbreak, gushing about a cute boy in her class, and most recently ─ teaching her granddaughter how to navigate the strip club.
Two things were true when it came to Aurora, she was fiercely independent like her father, and she sacrificed like him too.
Splash wasn’t the ideal place Madeline wanted Aurora out, but she knew telling her no would only push her deeper into that world. So she gave her baby the game. She gave her the rules. She gave her the support. The same way she did her late husband and her son.
“I need coffee because I have to study and then work,” Aurora stated.
Madeline moved around the kitchen making coffee, toast, and eggs, and joined Aurora at the table. “How many rules did you break?”
“Every last one,” Aurora quietly responded, feeling as if she were going to cry. Not with disappointment but because she knew what she experienced beyond sex was a one-and-done deal. “I don’t know how many details you want but you’re probably going to cuss me out.”
“Is he married?”
“No. He was supposed to be though. It was his wedding Syn took me too.”
Madeline closed her eyes and tilted her head slightly to put the pieces together. “He was at the club for his bachelor party, I’m assuming.”
“Yes.”
“You danced for him?”
“Yes,” Aurora answered. “I’ve done so too many times to count but it all felt different. The dance wasn’t the same, the stupid-ass conversation wasn’t the same.”
“And you ended up in his bed. How’d you get there? Liquor?”
“I mean a few glasses of wine but that wasn’t it. It was this feeling. This familiarity like … it’s stupid,” Aurora stopped herself. “It’s all stupid.”
“Is it, or are you scared?”
“It’s stupid. I have nothing to be scared of because it’s over and done. I broke all my rules, I have memories and all the ideas and hopes and dreams that’ll die along with the others. So this is stupid to even recant like I’m going to get swept off of my feet.”
Madeline observed her and knew what her granddaughter danced her way into.
No matter how she tried to downplay it, erase it from her being, or train her mind not to remember, it would always be there.
Love was always there. Sometimes emboldened and in your face, sometimes playing the background until it was ready to overtake the garden.
“What’s your dream, Aurora? And don’t tell me it's to become a lawyer and get all of your daddy’s things back. What drives you? What gets you out of the bed every morning? What makes a young woman as smart and as beautiful as you dance to pay for law school?”
Aurora looked at her grandmother. “I want to make him proud. I never got to make him proud. So I have to somehow, some way. I don’t want anyone else getting screwed the way we did. But overall, I want to prove to myself I’m more than just a daughter of a pro athlete.”
“Oh, Aurora, he’s proud of you. He’s always been.
Even if he left you before we all were ready.
I think that the loss of your father affected your want to hope, dream, and have ideas.
I’ve watched you over the years, not expect too much from people because you were sure at some point they would leave you.
I think last night stirred something in you, and what you felt is valid.
You deserve to feel it and experience it.
You never know why God does what He does. ”
“I don’t think God was in anything I did,” Aurora dryly laughed. “I probably need to go to church and ask for forgiveness.”
“Mmm. Who is this man?”
“No one you’d know. We’re not going to even speak his name. If, which I doubt, he pops up, I’ll tell you. But he has some business and things to clear up and I don’t fit in that.”
“And why don’t you?”
“Because any man that worthy of having all of me, would need to be sure that there’s more than enough space for me in his life.
I’m not competing for placement or visibility.
I won’t be like those thirsty women vying for my dad’s attention.
I won’t forget who I am to attempt to wrestle for something that should be mine. ”
“Mm,” Madeline grunted. “I did a hell of a job with you.”
“You sure did.”