Chapter 24 #2
“He won’t hurt you.” He brushes the hair off my face. “I swear on my life, Nova, he won’t touch you.”
“We need a plan.” I try to brush his hands away.
To sit up and twist. To set my feet on the floor and…
I don’t know. I have no clue what comes after that.
“I wanted Aster to die, but all I did was drag you into this, and…” But then a new realization hits me, a pained gasp sprinting along my throat. “You work for him!”
“Nova, I—”
“He thinks you’re on his side! That means you don’t have to die. This isn’t as bad as it seems.”
“Babe—”
“I memorized the code.” I grab his hands and stare into his eyes. “I memorized it, Lincoln. Before I drilled into the coin.”
His cheeks pale, because the numbers he thought no longer existed suddenly do again.
“I’m the last person on the planet who knows them, right? And Tank plans to hurt me until I admit them. This probably isn’t even about Arabella anymore. It’s about loyalties and business and a whole heap of money hidden away.”
“Nova—”
“Kill me.” I stun him with my words and tighten my grip as he pulls away. “I am the key. Me. My memory. If you kill me, it’s gone. Lost to history.”
“Are you fucking crazy?” He throws my hands off and spins away from the bed. “You no longer have decision-making privileges.”
“You could make it painless.” I shakily crawl to the edge of the bed, draping my legs over the side.
“Aster will torture me, and Tank will do so much worse. I won’t give up the code, Lincoln.
For my brother. My father. My mom. To honor everyone who died for these stupid friggin’ numbers, I refuse to give them up.
But that refusal will come with punishment.
If I must die either way, then there are less painful ways to go than what Tank has planned. ”
“No!” He digs his hand into his hair and tugs at the ends. “No, Nova!”
“I wanted to kill Aster,” I cry. “Maybe take Tank out on the way. I wanted this to end with Richard. But there’s another way for it to stop.”
“I am not killing you.” He stalks back my way and stops with his hand around my throat, his thumb digging in just enough to hold me captive.
Towering over me that way I so love, he stares down into my eyes and shocks me to my core when I find tears glistening in his.
“I am in love with you, Nova Nichols. Don’t you understand that? I won’t hurt you.”
“They’re going to hurt me.” I thrust a hand toward the door. “They’ll make it horrible. Painful. Terrifying. They’re going to keep me alive for as long as it takes to get the code, and I’m not giving it up, which means I’ll exist in hell. Not truly alive, but not blessed enough to be dead.”
“No.” His face twists in agony. “I won’t do it.”
“You’re safe as long as you don’t admit we fell in love. Make up a code and tell them I died while you were torturing me. Tell them I gave in at the last moment, and now it’s done. They can’t bring me back after that. With my death comes the end of this war.”
“Nova—”
“I didn’t realize before. I hadn’t considered the reality that whoever possesses the code must die.”
His hand shakes. It’s a violent fluttering he tries desperately to control as he strokes my cheek.
“I’m already dying,” I choke out. “I don’t even mind, really. I want to go to my family.”
“Baby.” A single, fat tear rolls onto his cheek. “No.”
“This is my destiny, Lincoln. Ryan fought back by writing that letter, but even he knew Nova Nichols must die to make this go away. He couldn’t accept the stark truth, so he tried to create a loophole, a new identity, and a new home.
But I would have been hiding all along. Running.
Scared,” I whisper. “Which isn’t living at all. ”
His beautiful eyes flicker between mine, so soft, so sweet, so broken.
“Death is my destiny. And maybe we met and fell in love for a reason—”
“Exactly!” He clings to my words. “We met and fell in love for a reason. If you give up now, you dishonor our destiny. Let me come to that new life with you, Nova. I could love her, too. Whoever she is. Whatever her name.”
“And abandon your sister?” I force a smile onto my face and desperately attempt to show him bravery, despite the bone-deep exhaustion I feel.
“If you leave her, then Aster breaks another heart. We’re stuck here, Lincoln.
In this house. You think I didn’t see the security panels?
The guards? The guns.” I swipe my eyes clear again.
“I’m not walking out that front door. Not today.
Not ever. The only way I get to leave is in a body bag. But you still have a chance.”
“I’m not abandoning you.” He clutches my face, his long fingers stretching around to cup the back of my head. “You’re so fucking sure everyone eventually leaves, Nova. But not me. I refuse.”
“If you try to get me out, they’ll know you’re no longer on their side.
You’ll die, they’ll capture me again, and we'll end up right back here with torture and Tank. That outcome still leaves Scarlett abandoned, and me, alone with a man who thinks he can rape a string of numbers into existence. If, by some miraculous chance you get me out successfully, we’ll always be on the run.
We’ll always be in hiding. And if Aster finds us, which he probably will, seeing as how fucking determined he is, then you still abandon Scarlett, you’ll probably die anyway, and then I end up right back here, captured, violated, and clamping my lips shut because I refuse to give up the numbers they want so badly. ”
My entire body shakes, aching and weak, but I push off the bed and whimper at the burning pain that radiates up through my feet.
Still, I step forward, thankful that Lincoln supports my weight, and rest my ear against his pounding heart.
“There’s no happy ending for us. But there’s mercy… if you help me toward death.”
His pulse skips and stutters beneath my ear.
“You have guns,” I whisper. “And a knife, probably. Maybe our destiny wasn’t to fall in love and be together forever. Maybe it was to fall in love for now, so you could help me onto the next step.”
“To kill you,” he moans, setting his chin atop my head and crushing me in a tight embrace. “You can dress it up however you like, Nova, use whatever pretty words you think will help, but you’re asking me to kill you. I won’t do it.”
“You could deepen the wound on my neck.” I wrap my arms around his torso and hold on with every ounce of strength I have left.
“It wouldn’t even hurt. You could slice my wrists and sit with me until it’s over.
” I wipe my face on his shirt and swallow the sobbing despair trying so desperately to undo us both.
If I give in to the fear, I might not follow through.
If I consider a life where we escape and live our happily ever after, I might falter…
just in time for reality to sprint back in and kick my ass.
Death is inevitable. But choosing how it happens, lying with someone you love in those last moments… that’s a blessing.
“I’d rather sleep beside you than bleed under Tank,” I whimper. “If those are my choices, then I know which I’ll make a million times over.”
“But there has to be a third choice.” He pulls back, exposing dark, glittering eyes. “There must be. The universe owes you more than this.”
“Maybe the universe gave me my gifts already.” My lips curl into a trembling smile as I reach up and swipe the tears from his cheeks.
Our roles have finally reversed; I allowed my villain to clean my face and hold me while I grieved.
Now, I get to be his villain, stealing his heart and refusing to give it back.
Before my final betrayal, I have the honor of wiping away his tears.
“My destiny could have been like Arabella’s.
Brutality.” I swallow. “Violence. Dying at the hands of my enemy. But the universe allows me this opportunity instead, where it would be like falling asleep. Lucky me, I get to do it while staring into the eyes of the man I love and end a decades-long war. There’s honor in that. ”
“No.”
“And dignity.”
“No! I won’t do it.”
“Then give me the knife,” I whisper past a hitching exhale. “Turn away. Let me choose for myself.”
His strength buckles, his face wrinkling with anguish. “Nova…”
“If you love me, you’ll allow that.”