Good Morning #2
It took us an hour to shower (would have been sooner if Jai hadn’t slipped in to ‘save water’). With a towel wrapped around his waist, he opened the bedroom door, grabbed a large white bag sitting outside and handed it to me.
Frowning, I took out its contents. Jeans, tops, underwear – all with their tags still on.
How the hell can eight things cost fifty grand? ‘Jai, I can’t ... this is too much.’
‘It’s just clothes.’ He pressed a kiss on my forehead. ‘Mine don’t fit you, and you need something to go home in.’
‘I could have worn my sari,’ I protested, but a soft, melting warmth kept rising anyway.
‘It would have been a hassle,’ he said, as if having someone go shopping for me early in the morning wasn’t. ‘And you’re my girlfriend. It’s my job to take care of you.’ His lips pressed against mine. ‘So let me.’
‘Thank you.’ Heat rushed to my cheeks. ‘For everything.’
Once we were dressed, Jai led me to the dining room.
I paused at the entrance. Scrambled eggs, mini idlis with chutney and sambar, stuffed parathas, avocado toast, croissants, fruit platter, fruit juices and a whole dessert bar sat on the table. I could practically hear the table groaning under the weight of the food.
‘Are you … having a party?’ I asked as I took a seat.
Jai chuckled, sitting next to me. ‘I don’t … bring women over. I suppose Madhu aunty knew you were special and got excited.’
I tamped down my smile.
As if her name made her materialise out of thin air, Madhu aunty appeared with a broad smile. ‘Good morning! Hot chai is on its way. If you need anything else, please let me know.’
‘Thank you,’ I said. ‘It looks delicious.’
Her smile deepened. ‘Oh, and I’m making bisi bele bhat for Harish bhaisahab. He loves the way I make it. Please take it with you tonight.’
‘I will.’ Jai smiled. ‘Thank you.’
‘Who’s that?’
‘Harish uncle is Dadaji’s best friend and my mentor.
He used to be on the board of the company, but he retired last year.
’ A twinge of sadness crept into his eyes.
‘I try to see him at least once a month. He’s a widower, and his kids live abroad.
Spending time with him makes me feel closer to Dadaji. ’
I wove my fingers through his. ‘You’re a good man, Jai.’
He kissed the back of my hand. ‘We’re having dinner tonight. I’d love for you to meet him, but we’re celebrating Rivaayat, and my family is joining us too. So maybe tonight isn’t the best occasion.’
My stomach flipped at the word family. The word lodged itself in my throat. And just like that, all the food on the table turned into decoration.
I pulled my lips back in a smile. ‘Yeah, that’ll be for the best.’
I forced myself to eat, but it wasn’t much. Jai kept asking me if I was sure I didn’t want any more food, so I assured him I was fine. He looked unconvinced and just told me to let him know when I got hungry again.
A tour of the flat followed brunch. It had everything: a massive balcony, a cosy library (mainly non-fiction; very Jai-like), a study, a gym and a couple of guest rooms.
When we finished, I realised I had a missed call from Bhaiyya.
The gift must’ve reached him.
I settled on the sofa in the living room, away from anything that screamed I wasn’t at home, and called him back.
He picked up in two rings.
‘Happy birthday, Bhaiyya!’ I said with a grin.
‘Thank you. But why did you send me the shirt?’ He frowned. ‘Sisters don’t give things to elder brothers. How much was it?’
I rolled my eyes. ‘It’s a birthday gift. Try it first before asking how much it costs.’
‘But, Anu, you—’
‘He wore it for lunch with my family today. And loved it,’ Bhabhi chimed in, coming into view. ‘He’s wearing it right now. Show her! He’s been telling everyone that his little sister sent it to him from Mumbai.’
‘Sumita—’
‘Is it Ananya? Hand me the phone.’ The video swerved, and then Papa smiled at me. ‘Hi, beta. We wish you were here. The house feels empty without you,’ he said. ‘Arey, you look so thin. Are you not eating well?’
‘I am, Papa,’ I sighed.
Jai walked in and sat on the other end of the sofa, a book in his hand. He smiled softly.
‘Tell Anu that she has to come home as soon as possible,’ Maa added. ‘It’s been so long.’
I smiled back instinctively before realising I was still on the video call. I quickly looked back at the screen.
‘I will,’ I promised. ‘I miss you guys too. I’m busy, though. I’ll call you guys later.’
The screen turned dark, and my shoulders slumped. I wanted to see them more than they wanted me to be back home. But it just wasn’t worth it.
‘If you miss your family, why don’t you go home for some time?’ Jai asked, putting his book down.
‘It’s complicated,’ I sighed. ‘We miss each other when I’m away. But every time I visit, I want to return the next day.’
‘Are they still bothering you with the whole arranged marriage thing?’ He shifted closer and held my hand.
I turned my palm over, lacing our fingers. ‘No. Maa dropped it after our fight. Like she always does.’
Maa and I didn’t talk for a week after the last argument. She was upset, and I was angry. Then she called me out of the blue and started talking as if nothing had happened. I went along with it; it was how my family dealt with conflicts. We swept everything under the carpet.
‘Then what’s the problem?’ he asked, rubbing soothing circles on the back of my hand with his thumb. ‘It’d be nice seeing them.’
‘It won’t be nice because it will come up again.
’ I pressed my lips together. ‘It’s just …
they love me, I know that. But sometimes when they look at me, I can see them waiting for me to become someone else.
A girl who stays in Banaras, marries the man they choose and never asks for more than what’s given to her. ’
‘And you’re not that person,’ he said gently.
‘Not even close.’ A smile touched my lips as I shook my head. ‘I’ve always wanted … more. I want to work. To build something of my own, to prove I can do things by myself. When I try to explain it to them, it’s like I’m speaking another language.’
I exhaled sharply. ‘They think independence is rebellion. Chasing my dreams is selfish. Growing up, it caused a lot of fights between us ...’ My voice faltered. ‘They don’t say it out loud anymore, but I can hear what they’re thinking. That I’m choosing myself over them.’
‘Wanting more from life doesn’t make you selfish, Ananya, it makes you … you,’ he said, his voice soft but firm. ‘Anyone who cares about you should want that for you. I know I do.’
My eyes locked with his. They were steady and compassionate and made me want to believe him.
‘They love you, Ananya. It might take time, but they’ll come around.’
‘I know they do. But I don’t think they will ever accept me as I am. I’ll never have the kind of relationship I want with them. Going back home is a big reminder of that.’
The air was heavy with the weight of my words.
‘Hope you know that I see you – all of you – and it makes me so proud.’ His eyes stayed on mine as he tucked a lock of hair behind my ear. ‘And I hope that one day, your family does too.’
I knew Jai meant it. I could see it in the way he looked at me, like I was enough exactly as I was.
I didn’t have words for what that meant to me. So I kissed him instead.
He kissed me back, slow and gentle, his hand coming up to cup my face. When we pulled apart, I rested my forehead against his.
‘I don’t deserve you,’ I whispered.
‘You deserve everything,’ he said gently.
I wanted to believe that. With him, I almost did.
‘Come on.’ He pulled me to my feet. ‘Let’s watch something that doesn’t make you cry.’
‘I’m not crying.’
‘Your eyes are wet.’
‘That’s just emotion. Very different.’
He laughed, popping a kiss on my forehead. ‘Gladiator II? I’ve been wanting to watch it for a while.’
‘Sounds perfect.’
We settled in, his arm around my shoulders, and for a few hours, I let myself live in a world where everything was this simple.
The movie was good – not as good as the first part – but we both enjoyed it anyway.
When evening rolled around, I decided it was time to go home.
‘I’m giving you a ride,’ Jai said, entering his walk-in closet. ‘Just let me get dressed for dinner first.’
‘No, you’ll be late. I’ll just take a cab.’
‘Harish uncle lives in the house next to your building.’ He turned to look at me. ‘It’s not out of the way or an inconvenience at all.’
‘It’s probably nothing. But the morning of my interview, I saw Jai near my building. He was getting in a cab.’ My words to Rekha echoed in my head.
Jai had to be there to see Harish uncle.
And Rekha now knew it. I hoped it wasn’t important.