Chapter 19 #2
“I can’t tell you his name. It’s a casual fling which will be over soon,” Ruby admits.
“How long have you been seeing him?” Stella asks.
“Since November. Casually. Less than casual. It’s only sex.”
“You’ve been fucking someone for three months, and you haven’t said anything?!”
“It was only supposed to be one time, but one time turned into more, then… Like I said, it’s just sex. I plan on ending it after tonight, anyway. One last hurrah before we go our separate ways.”
Stella’s head tilts, and I swear I can see the wheels turning.
“First of all, three months is not casual. Second, there are only five eligible men within an appropriate age range living here, so I’ll figure it out eventually.
Third, I’m a little hurt you haven’t said anything.
Why did you keep it a secret? Does Saint know? ”
“No, Saint doesn’t know.” Ruby looks at me, “You can’t tell him, okay? He’ll… he’ll freak out if he ever finds out.”
I frown. “I think he’ll be more hurt you’re keeping it from him. He loves you so much, he just wants you to be happy. It’s not my secret to tell, though, so I won’t say anything.”
“Thank you. Stell, I’m sorry. I thought it would be a one-time thing.
Then one turned into two, then two turned into weekly, and…
and I don’t know. But like I said, it’s not serious.
” I can tell Ruby is trying to make it sound like she’s okay.
Like she wants it to be casual and not mean anything at all, but I think there’s a bit of melancholy in the words.
She’s trying to convince herself as much as she’s trying to convince us.
“It’s okay, Ruby. All is forgiven. Do you want me to take the pictures for you, instead? It is my job after all. Leave him something to stare at when it all ends?”
Ruby perks up and nods. “I would love that. Let me freshen up my hair and makeup. Mikey, you should take one for Saint, too. Really drive him mad.”
“Oh, I don’t know. I’ve never taken a picture like that.”
“No pressure, but it can be… freeing. Empowering, even.”
I think about how I felt this morning while looking in the mirror wearing nothing but lingerie. For the first time in a long time, I didn’t hate my body. Maybe this can help further my healing.
“Okay. Let’s do it.”
Twenty minutes later, Stella is spraying setting spray over my face. She didn’t let me watch the process because she wanted to do a big reveal. She has me close my eyes, spins me around to face the vanity mirror, then counts down from three.
When I open my eyes, I gasp. The woman in the mirror is me but not at the same time. The eyeliner makes my eyes pop, and the subtle highlight enhances my cheekbones. My hair looks pretty much the same but slightly less frizzy than usual.
I look… pretty.
I like it.
“Wow, Stell. You really are a wizard.”
She shrugs. “I know. So, you like it?”
“I love it. Thank you so much.”
“It’s no problem at all. Here, put this on, and we’ll go take pictures.” She hands me a satin robe and instructs me to strip down to my underwear.
Ruby walks out of Stella’s bathroom in a similar ensemble, her hair curled in loose waves and a glossy pink sheen on her lips.
We make our way over to the other half of the duplex, and I’m blown away by how different it looks compared to Stella’s house.
Where her house is all frills and pinks, the studio is clean lines, hardwood floors, and bright white walls.
She walks us to one of the bedrooms where a four-poster bed sits made with black sheets, and a large gold mirror stands against a wall next to a window.
Stella adjusts the lights to be sexy and moody, setting the tone for the pictures.
Anxiety prickles my skin. Am I really doing this?
I’m going to take partially naked pictures?
I’ve rarely ever taken a full-body picture, let alone a picture in nothing but underwear.
Saint obviously finds me attractive, but will he like this?
“Shit, I don’t have Saint’s number,” I blurt out as Stella helps Ruby adjust her body in front of the mirror. They both turn to look at me, then each other, then burst out laughing. “What’s so funny?”
“You slept at his house, in his bed, and you haven’t exchanged phone numbers?” Ruby breathes out between laughs.
It sounds bonkers when I say it out loud. This whole situation with Saint is crazy, and I’m sure they probably think I’m some silly, stupid woman who has no sense of self-preservation.
“Mikey, I need you to breathe for me,” Stella murmurs, placing her hand gently on my arm. “I can feel you spiraling. Talk to us.”
I take a deep breath and gather my thoughts. Stella and Ruby have shown me nothing but kindness, so I shouldn’t feel judged. Saint is Ruby’s brother, for crying out loud. If she didn’t think this was a good idea, surely she would say something.
“You don’t think I’m stupid for driving a man I barely know back to his house then sleeping in his bed? And falling for him so quickly?” It’s the first time I’ve said I’m falling for him out loud, and I swear a weight lifts off my chest.
“Oh, honey, no. I don’t think you’re stupid at all. I think letting yourself feel so deeply for someone is brave. If you knew the things Saint’s done just to see you, you’d think he was the crazy one. Love does something stupid to our brains and makes us do things we haven’t before,” Ruby says.
“What things has he done?”
“That’s not for me to tell. But promise me when he tells you, you’ll have an open mind. I’ve never seen him so utterly smitten. I think if he thought you’d agree, he’d put a ring on your finger tonight and have you married by Monday.”
I don’t hate the thought as much as I think I should. In fact, it gives me a warm, fuzzy feeling to think about Saint on one knee, asking me to be his wife. I’ve never really thought about being a wife before, but I think being Saint’s would be incredible.
I’ll ask Saint about what Ruby’s talking about later. Unless he’s committed murder, it can’t be that bad.
“Okay, I promise to have an open mind. Now, let’s take some pictures. I want our first text exchange to be memorable.”