Chapter 23
I’ve prolonged the inevitable as much as possible.
After breakfast, Saint and I spent another few hours leisurely exploring each other’s bodies well into the afternoon.
I need to get back to Salem to check on my apartment and prepare for the next week, and I have to get back to the shop to fix Saint’s van and make sure Rob hasn’t fucked anything up.
Why does leaving Cupid’s Cove feel harder than chasing an electrical draw through an entire vehicle?
It’s crazy to feel this attached to a town—a person—in such a short amount of time. This quirky, little Valentine’s town has wormed its way into my heart, and for the first time in a long time, I feel like I could find a home here.
With Saint.
Saint didn’t worm his way into my heart.
He smashed his way in, and I know I’ll never be able to get him out.
I meant what I said about not breaking his heart, but I still have no idea what it means for us.
What the future holds. Are we going to try to make this work long distance?
How often will we see each other? Are we going to call each other every day?
I can’t bring myself to ask these burning questions.
Before they left, Ruby handed me a cooler packed with food, even though the drive is less than two hours, and Stella gave me a bag full of clothes she thinks I’d like. I slip on my boots at the front door and go to gather the bags when Saint’s body heat surrounds me.
“I’ll take those for you,” he rasps, but he doesn’t pick them up.
I turn around to face him, even though I’m apprehensive about what he’s going to say.
Saint cups my face, bringing our lips together in a kiss so tender tears threaten to fall. Instead of stepping back when our lips break apart, he leaves his forehead pressed against mine.
“Look at me, Mikelle,” he orders.
When our eyes connect, the longing I find in his hazel irises makes my breath hitch.
“Thank you for this weekend,” I whisper, unsure what else to say.
“Don’t say it like this is over. It’s not over, Mikey. This is just the beginning.”
“But I—”
“No, please, I need to say this. I need to make sure you’re hearing me, okay?
” I nod. “For the past year, I’ve been trying to work up the nerve to ask you on a date.
I knew from the moment I saw you we could have something special, and I was right.
I know you feel what’s between us. I also know it’s scary.
We’ve moved fast, but I wouldn’t have it any other way.
I meant it last night when I said you’re mine, but more than that, I’m yours.
Have been for a year, even though you didn’t know it.
I haven’t thought of anyone else since you walked in with a grease stain on your cheek, and I thought, ‘she’s the one.
’ Whatever happens, this isn’t the end, okay? We’ll figure it out together.”
“So you want to continue seeing me?”
“Yes, Mikey. I want you. For however long you’ll let me have your heart. I promise to take care of it.”
Keep it forever. No one else will ever have it.
“What do we do about the fact we live in different towns? I could never ask you to leave Cupid’s Cove for me, but there’s no job for me here, unless Slater’s suddenly in need of a new mechanic. I don’t—”
Saint puts his finger to my lips, stopping me from spiraling.
“We don’t have to figure it out right now, okay?
Let’s take it one day at a time. You’ll go back to Salem today, and I’ll see you when I come back for the van.
We’ll talk every night and text every day.
It’s less than a two hour drive, and that’s nothing.
I’d drive for two days across the country to see you if I had to. ”
I nod against his forehead as a traitorous tear slips from the corner of my eye. Saint catches it with his thumb.
“I’ll miss you.” My voice wobbles with the words.
“I’ll miss you, too. But this is only the beginning,” Saint says soothingly, before he leans down and captures my lips with his. When he pulls away, a piece of my heart gets ripped from my chest. One I know I won’t get back until we figure everything out.
“I should go before it gets too late.”
Saint nods, grabbing my bag and following me out. He opens my door for me and sets the bag and cooler on the bench seat before helping me in and securing my buckle. He gives me one more kiss. “Call me when you get home, okay?”
I can’t manage more than a nod.
Saint gently closes my door and steps back, running a hand through his hair.
As I pull out of the driveway, Saint waves, and I wave back, my heart aching the farther I get from him. When I pull onto the road and can no longer see his house, tears are flowing freely down my face. I want to turn back. I want to call Merv and tell him I quit, that I’m staying in Cupid’s Cove.
But I can’t.
I remind myself this isn’t goodbye forever, simply for a moment.
Luckily, the drive back to Salem was uneventful.
The road was free of debris from the storm, and the sky was bright blue with very little cloud coverage.
I listened to a playlist of love songs until my phone died halfway home, which, in hindsight, may not have been the best idea.
I spent the entire drive thinking about Saint, wishing he was next to me.
I thought being back in the city I’ve lived in my whole life, the place I’ve called home for forever, would help ease the ache in my chest, but it doesn't. Driving past Merv’s only seems to increase the desire I have to turn around and go back to Saint’s.
My apartment feels underwhelming and clinical after being in the cozy confines of Saint’s place this weekend. The tiny kitchen mocks me. My full-sized bed lacks his scent and warmth.
I plug my phone in before I hurry and run through my routine in my too-small shower and get dressed in clothes that don’t smell like Saint; my sense of melancholy only grows. It lessens when I check my phone and find a text from him.
SAINT: I hope you made it home okay. I miss you already.
MIKEY: I did. I’m sorry I didn’t call earlier, my phone died.
SAINT: It’s okay, I was just worried something happened to you. Ruby refused to give me her car, though. She said to wait.
MIKEY: I didn’t mean to worry you, I was just letting my phone charge while I was in the shower.
SAINT: Damn, now I really wish I were with you.
MIKEY: lol, my shower wouldn’t fit both of us.
SAINT: Then you’ll just have to come back to my house.
I almost type ‘I’m on my way.’ He would probably be upset if I made the drive this late, and I have work tomorrow, anyway.
MIKEY: I guess it’ll be a special treat for when we’re together. ;)
SAINT: Fuck, now I’m imagining it.
I’ve never sexted anyone before. I don’t know if it’s what he’s trying to do, but it feels like—
My phone vibrates in my hand with an incoming video call from Saint.
His handsome face fills my screen, and butterflies erupt in my stomach. He’s leaning against his counter, his phone must be propped up against something.
“Hi,” I say almost shyly.
“Hi, sweetheart. God, it’s good to hear your voice.”
“Couldn't go a few hours without talking to me?” I tease.
“I wanted to call you the minute your truck disappeared from view. I held off this long because Ruby told me I needed to stop acting like a lovesick puppy.”
The image of Saint moping around, checking his phone every few minutes makes me want to laugh as much as it makes my heart pang. “I wouldn’t have minded. I wanted to turn around as soon as I made it to the road.”
Saint chuckles and shakes his head. “At least I’m not alone in this.” He pauses for a minute before picking up the phone and shoving a hand through his hair. “My house feels too quiet without you.”
I lie down on my side, propping my phone on an extra pillow. “I didn’t make that much noise.”
His full lips pull into a smirk. “I recall you making quite a bit of noise, Mikey.”
I scoff and roll my eyes, even as arousal coils in my belly. “Oh hush.”
“How was your shower?”
“It was fine. I miss the water pressure at your house.”
“You’re always welcome to come back. My bed feels empty without you.”
“My bed could barely hold us, but it feels empty, too...” My sentence trails off with a yawn.
“Go to sleep, sweetheart. Call me tomorrow after work so I can hear about your day, yeah?”
“Okay. I will. Goodnight, Saint.”
“Goodnight, Mikey.”
I reluctantly hang up, dreading going to work tomorrow. I used to love my job. It was the best part of my week, but now I’d rather be in Cupid’s Cove with the man who’s stolen my heart.
I finish my nighttime routine, plug in my phone, and burrow under covers that don’t smell like vanilla and cinnamon.
I fall asleep wishing I was surrounded by Saint’s warmth and dream about baked goods and hazel eyes.
I’m staring down at my phone, typing a message to Saint when I walk into the shop, so I don’t notice the shadow in the corner until Merv barks my name.
It scares me so bad I drop my phone.
“Damn it, Merv! You scared the shit out of me.”
Merv scowls, his bushy eyebrows furrowing together as he crosses his arms over his chest. “What the hell are ya doin’ here?”
I pick up my phone, sighing in relief when I see it’s not cracked. “Working?”
Merv chuffs and shakes his head, mumbling what sounds like “goddamned kids.”
“What’s your deal, old man? I’ve got work to do.”
“I thought you’d stay in Cupid’s Cove is all.”
“What? Why would you think that?”
“I’m old, not stupid, Mikey. I saw the way ya and that baker man were eyein’ each other. I knew ya needed a little push to let him in. It’s why I agreed to let ya take him home. Thought you'd figure it out by now.”
“Figure what out?”
“You two are made for each other. You’re not meant to be here, in my shop, forever. You need to spread your wings and do something different. That baker man is a good one, even if his methods are a bit odd.”
“What are you talking about?”
“Mikey, I know ya ain’t stupid. Every three months for a year he had somethin’ wrong with his van. Silly things that don’t just happen. Ya mean to tell me ya didn’t pick up on the fact he was breakin’ his car on purpose just to see ya?”
“I mean, the idea crossed my mind, but that’s crazy, Merv. Why would he go to those lengths?”
Merv shrugs. “People do crazy things when love is on the line.”
“Saint didn’t even know me when his van first came to the shop, though.”
“I think the first time was a coincidence, but the next few weren’t. Ya saw what happened to his fuel line. That wasn’t a freak accident, someone pried that sucker off. Someone who didn’t know what they were doin’.”
I suspected it wasn’t just some random incident. I thought maybe it was one of those stories I’d tell for years to come about the time a fuel line detached on its own. I didn’t want to believe Saint had been actively trying to break his vehicle.
I think about the fuse I fixed and how it looked like it had been water-logged. How none of the other fuses had shown any signs of damage. I think about how Merv mentioned plugging in his lights and the loose gas cap.
Saint told me he’s been working up the nerve to ask me out for a year, that he knew the minute he saw me I was the one for him.
“We don’t know that’s what happened,” I hedge.
Merv barks out a laugh. “Right. Well, you go call your baker and ask him flat out then.”
“What if he did?”
“Then ya need to make a decision. Is it a dealbreaker for ya? Or is it sweet? Somethin’ like those romance books you yap about?”
What does it say about me that I’m not at all put off by his absurd way of trying to get my attention?
If anything, it makes him more endearing. He went through all this trouble, spent all this money, just to see me? To work up the nerve to talk to me?
Bonkers. Saint is bonkers.
“I’ll go ask him right now.”
Merv waves me off, and I step outside, dialing Saint.
Anxiety swirls in my gut as it goes straight to voicemail.